My 6 Weirdest Hotel Experiences Ever, From The Funny To The Freaky

I’ve spent a lot of nights at hotels over the years. For a couple of years when I was younger, I even lived in hotels full time. So I have a lot of memorable experiences — some good, some bad, and some just plain strange. In this post, I thought it would be fun to share my absolute strangest hotel experiences ever (or at least that I can still remember… I’m sure I’ve blocked some out of my memory).

Longtime OMAAT readers may remember some or all of these. So here we go, in no particular order…

Child bandits break into London hotel room

In 2016, Ford and I stayed at the Sheraton Grand Park Lane London. A moment after walking into the room, before the door even closed, we suddenly found three pre-teen children in our room. They seemingly came out of nowhere, since we didn’t see them behind us in the hall. They claimed that we were in fact in their room, and needed to get out.

Okay, I certainly didn’t want to be accused of anything, and I figured maybe there was an actual misunderstanding and the room had been assigned to two parties, so I exited the room and headed for the elevators. A minute later, the kids came running out, and claimed they were just “kidding,” and when I told them that wasn’t cool, they said “can’t you take a joke?”

Obviously I didn’t know what happened while I wasn’t in the room and didn’t want to take any chances, so I let the hotel staff know. The general manager ended up getting involved, and had reviewed security footage. As it turns out, the kids had run in from the street, and weren’t even staying at the hotel. The kids apparently stole some sort of wireless device from the room, and also took some stuff from the minibar. Strange!

Masseuse tries “hard” to upsell massage in Xiamen

In 2017, a friend and I stayed at the Le Meridien Xiamen. We decided to get massages at the hotel’s spa, as they were reasonably priced. Well, I guess this was the ultra low cost carrier version of a spa, because they were desperate for ancillary revenue. 😉

The beginning of the massage was normal, but then she started vigorously rubbing my inner high. That’s not unusual in and of itself, but she did it longer and more intensely than I’m used to. A short while later, she pointed in the direction of my you-know-what. She didn’t speak any English, so I said “no thank you” and motioned with my hand that I wasn’t interested.

I honestly have no problem with a place non-aggressively offering such services, but it’s not my thing. Unfortunately she didn’t seem pleased with the answer, or apparently assumed I didn’t understand, so then she made a made a “fist” and started moving it up and down. Awk. Again I said “no,” and motioned that I wasn’t interested.

She spent another 10 minutes massaging right around my groin, before once again making a noise to make me look up, and then made a “jerking” motion. Again I said “no thank you.” She seemed disappointed. The worst part is that my friend (in a separate massage room) had basically the same experience. The only difference was that his masseuse used a translation app, and said, “I have been rigorously trained in the technique, your whole body will feel very good and relaxed after, but I will need a tip.”

“Fashion designer” tries to buy my clothes

Back in 2012, I was staying at the InterContinental Grand Stanford Hong Kong. While in the club lounge, I was stopped by another guest, who introduced himself as a fashion designer, said he really liked my sweater, and asked if he could buy it.

So, umm, fashion isn’t exactly my strong point, to put it mildly (nowadays I’ve just fully embraced that, so I almost exclusively wear athleisure).

He told me to let him know how much I wanted for the sweater, but I explained I wasn’t looking to sell it. He then offered me 300 HKD, which was a lowball offer, less than I paid for it. I told him I could just share the brand and type of sweater, but he said he wouldn’t be home for some time, and he “needed” it now.

I looked at him perplexed, and he continued with “I’ll buy it from you, just tell me what you want.” I wasn’t sure what to say, though again responded with “I’m sorry but I’m not really looking to sell it.”

He then asked if he could at least photograph the sweater, and even had me move around so that the light would be better. He wouldn’t relent, so after offering me 1,000 HKD, I ended up selling him my sweater. I’m still a little confused about what happened there…

My disaster stay at the Aegon Mykonos

While this list isn’t generally about hotels with bad service, my 2021 experience at the Aegon Mykonos, a Marriott Autograph Collection property (well, formerly), is certainly one of my most memorable hotel stays.

There’s so much to unpack here, so I recommend checking out the series I wrote at the time:

• Marriott Bonvoy Confirmed Suite Upgrade Downgrade
• I’d Like To Speak With The Marriott Manager!
• I’m Speechless: My Awful Marriott Check-In Experience
• My Four-Hour Stay At Marriott’s Aegon Mykonos
• Aegon Mykonos Responds To My TripAdvisor Review With Lies
• I Received An Apology From The Aegon Mykonos…

Long story short, I was downgraded, and the front office associate didn’t seem to understand why I wasn’t happy about it. That was then escalated to the general manager, who was equally dismissive, and offered my free breakfast as compensation, which was included anyway.

And then the hotel owner got involved, and she took it to a whole different level, accusing me of having bad karma, while basically chasing me off the property, all while leaving a troll comment on my blog. Classy.

A different kind of hotel massage offer

I don’t usually get offered massages by strangers, but a 2016 stay at the Westin Cape Town was an exception. I’m still undecided as to whether this was just a little unusual, or super creepy.

I got in the elevator at around 6:30AM, and there was already a guy in there in a bathrobe, though there was no button pushed, so he didn’t actually seem to be going anywhere. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but then when I returned to the elevator around 20 minutes later, the same guy was standing there, just outside the elevator.

I figured he was waiting on the elevator as well, and that the timing was coincidental… except the elevator call button hadn’t been pushed, so I pushed it. When the elevator arrived, he followed me in, and said “what floor?”

He didn’t push another button, so when we arrived at the floor I was staying on, I motioned for him to exit first, since I assumed he was getting off (the elevator, just to clarify) as well. He motioned for me to go first, and I said “thanks, have a good day.” I figured that meant he was continuing on the elevator to another floor. He then poked his head out the elevator and said “you want massage?” I politely rejected, and made a run for it.

Marie Antoinette inspired wakeup in Versailles

The above are all things that weren’t planned, and where things didn’t go right. However, I can’t help but add one thing to the list that went exactly as it should’ve, but it was still hilariously awkward.

I adore French hotel group Airelles, and the brand has Airelles Chateau de Versailles, located on the grounds of the Palace of Versailles, in France. It’s an unbelievably good hotel, and it’s somewhere between a luxury hotel and a performative history safari, where they try to recreate the magic of hundreds of years ago.

One of the experiences offered is that you can be woken up just like Marie Antoinette was back in the day. No, this doesn’t involve a phone call or an alarm clock. Instead, it involves someone dressed in a costume scratching on your door, walking in with a lantern and live music, opening your curtains, making a bath for you, and serving you an orange-infused almond milk drink.

Even though I knew exactly what was going to happen, it was without a doubt the most awkward hotel wakeup I’ve ever had. I couldn’t help but ask staff about this after the fact, and it became clear to me that it’s even more awkward for them than it is for guests, which made me feel better. They’re great sports about it, though!

Bottom line

If you have enough hotel stays, some weird stuff is bound to happen. Above are some of my most memorable hotel stay incidents, ranging from the funny to the uncomfortable. I’m not sure how this compares to those of others, but I figure some people would get a kick out of this.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve had happen at a hotel?