Some United employee quotes….

I ran into some, erm, interesting United employees over the weekend while traveling, so here are a few (random) quotes:

  • “I’ll leave you with my hand-picked onboard staff.” — A320 captain
  • “We’ll be going 78% the speed of sound. For those of you used to taking Amtrak, that’d be about…. hmm, dot there, carry the one, add a zero, ah, 506 miles per hour.” — A320 captain
  • “If you want to listen to our relentless negotiations with the government, feel free to follow along on Channel 9.” — A320 captain
  • “If our flight turns into a cruise….” — CRJ flight attendant
  • “Hmm, do you know how to work an iPhone? I’m trying to delete 60 pictures someone just put up of me on my Facebook page” — An RCC agent that was at least 75 years old
  • “For those of you that don’t get out enough, here’s how you use the seatbelt and oxygen mask.” — CRJ flight attendant
  • “Lucky for you I’m the absolute bestest awesomest flight attendant in the history of the world that you’ll have in your life.” — CRJ flight attendant
  • “Are you over 15?” — CRJ flight attendant
  • “We’re a militant bunch.” — JFK flight safety expert 😉
  • “Wait a second, you were here yesterday.”
Filed Under: Humor, United
  1. Was that one FA the “absolute bestest awesomest flight attendant in the history of the world that you’[ve had] in your life.”? 😛

  2. @ Mike — I’m surprised I don’t hear that more often, hah.

    @ JAFF — I’m sure you know the answer to that. 😀

    @ MatthewLAX — That would make sense, since the 9AM TPA-IAD crew is usually the same as the noon IAD-TPA crew.

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