I Got Married!

I got married just over two weeks ago (on Friday, September 28), and since then a day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t sat down and started to write a post about it, only to eventually give up.

But I think of you guys as being part of my extended family, so here goes nothing. By all means skip this post, either if you’re not interested, or because you think gay marriages are icky, or whatever.

Unfortunately I don’t have an epic miles & points story to share about our wedding. I didn’t even earn many miles & points for it, though I did redeem some miles for “boring” flights within North America. And no, we’re not planning an epic honeymoon (or any honeymoon, for that matter).

So, I’ll share some thoughts, in no particular order:

The person

To start, I guess I should talk briefly about Ford. Well, I’m a weirdo, so the fact that he has put up with me for this long is pretty remarkable. As someone who doesn’t love flying quite as much as I do, he even suffered through a Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Ho Chi Minh City to Doha to New York to Doha to Ho Chi Minh City to Hong Kong to Los Angeles mileage run late last year. Okay, in fairness, he was in an awful mood the entire time, but I at least appreciated that he tried.

Anyway, Ford is one of the kindest and most positive people I know. I’ve never met someone who consistently has as good of an attitude as he does (well, other than when I take him on an eight day mileage run), and who has such a good heart.

Why I don’t love the concept of weddings

Left to my own devices, we would have probably just eloped. As we started planning a “wedding,” Ford started to be in the same boat. There are four reasons I really struggle with the concept of a wedding.

First of all, I’m not a fan of “milestone” moments. I consider myself to be incredibly fortunate, and there are very few things in life I look forward to. That’s because I try to live every day to its fullest, and I think trying to focus too much on milestone moments is silly. At least for me.

So when people are like “wow you must be so excited to get married” I was like “yeah, I guess.” Don’t get me wrong, I love Ford and ideally would like to be with him forever, but I feel that way regardless of what the technical relationship status is. It’s not like I feel any difference the second before we get married and the second after we get married.

Second of all, I find the whole concept of a wedding ceremony to be awkward. I’m not a fan of PDA, I’m not a fan of professing my love publicly, etc., so the whole concept of getting up in front of people to get married is painful to me.

Third of all, weddings are damn expensive, and people get really stressed out over them. And for what, really?

Fourth of all, this was a gay wedding. We’re fortunate to have supportive families, and as much as they try their best, some of the questions we got from family did still remind me of this Key & Peele skit:

What we decided to do

Rather than having a “normal” wedding, we decided to approach it a bit differently. We obviously both love travel, so instead of viewing this as a wedding, we viewed it as a way to get the entire immediate family together for an epic trip. You never know how many more opportunities you’ll have for the entire family to get together, so we decided we were going to go somewhere with our parents and siblings.

It would be more just a celebration trip than a traditional wedding.

That sounded great, but we still had to figure out where to go. I’m totally fine flying with one or two immediate family members, but flying with eight people is like herding cats. So we wanted it to be somewhere special, yet also somewhere that wasn’t too far away.

Why we chose Fogo Island

Last April, Ford organized a trip to Fogo Island Inn for my birthday. Fogo Island Inn is hands down my favorite hotel I’ve been to in North America, and it’s such a special place to us.

The concept of the inn, the setting, and Newfoundland in general all make this such a unique and special place.

Hopefully my previous trip report on the inn summed that up. We also knew that this is a place that no one else in our family would have ever visited if we didn’t drag them there.

So while Fogo Island Inn would have probably been in the running anyway, there was one reason Ford and I both immediately thought of the Fogo Island Inn when considering where to take our family.

While visiting Fogo Island last time we met Blanche, who worked at the inn. The people on Fogo Island are what makes the place. Blanche has lived on Fogo Island her whole life, and she shared her incredible life story with us (part of which you can read in my previous post).

When she first met us she asked if we were partners, which is incredibly rare (in most parts of the world when you’re gay and traveling with your partner, you’re asked if you’re friends). As it turns out, her son is gay as well.

Over the course of our hours with Blanche she also mentioned that she’s ordained to officiate marriages. She mentioned that in the context of one of the things she does at the inn. At the time Ford and I weren’t even engaged, so we weren’t thinking about it then.

However, when we started thinking of places we could get married, it all came together.

Fogo Island Inn was INCREDIBLE

Fogo Island Inn is expensive. You can find the rates here. If you can swing it, I think it’s totally worth it. I had a friend visit not too long ago who asked me before visiting if the hotel could possibly really be worth that much, as he said it was the most he ever spent on a hotel. When he returned he said it was most definitely worth it.

While the inn is expensive, what impressed me was their lack of nickel & diming when it comes to having a wedding there.

So many hotels will gouge you for weddings because they know they can, while in the case of the Fogo Island Inn we just paid the standard room rate (actually we got a discount because we were booking five rooms), and they took care of just about everything.

Stays at the inn include activities, food, and soft drinks, so you really only have to pay for alcohol. They didn’t charge us anything extra for having a wedding, and that’s in spite of the fact that they gave us a space to get married (and set the room up beautifully), they hosted a private dinner with a special menu for us, made us an incredible cake, and just took the best care of us imaginable.

Yes it was a splurge, but…

It’s insane how much people spend on weddings. Doing some Googling, it seems like the average American wedding costs $35,000+. That’s mind-blowing to me. In our case I redeemed points for the flights and even with paying for everything for everyone, I still spent significantly less than that.

And most importantly it wasn’t something that just lasted a couple of hours. We had an amazing time together as a family, and it’s a memory I think all of us will cherish forever.

It feels weird to be married

I never thought I’d get married. Maybe it’s part of being gay and feeling like you never really fit in, and that for most of my life that wasn’t even an option.

On one hand it feels no different than before. On the other hand, it also feels a bit weird. I know when we first got engaged the term “fiancé” felt so weird to me, while now the term “husband” feels even stranger. But I’m grateful we’ve come far enough in the US that this is possible.

Comments

  1. Let me be the first to congratulate you. Every happiness. Fly less, love more… believe me it’s worth it. Peace.

  2. Lucky, you wrote quite a bit on why marriage isnt that big of a deal for you, but its unclear reading the article why you did decide to get married afterall. Would you mind explaining why?

  3. Congrats to you guys! I know you’re not big on putting yourself out there with these personal details, but this was really touching.

  4. Congratulations you two! I’m glad to see you were able to celebrate the way you wanted it in such a special place.

  5. Wow, congratulations! I fall into that category of thinking I’m never going to get married, too. But you two are sooo handsome together. Maybe one day I’ll meet the right guy. So happy for you and the photos are awesome.

  6. I thought something was up when Tiffany was writing all the post’s for a few days.. Congratulations and hope u guys have a very happy married life.

  7. Heartfelt congratulations, you two!

    You likely don’t remember meeting me on a BOAC (damn, they are mediocre) biz class flight from SFO-LHR in which I thanked you for the flight, as my wife and I were flying after learning a bit of the milage game from your site, but I haven’t forgotten you. You seemed as good a guy in flight as in the blog, so Ford’s a lucky guy!

    All of the best, and happy (con)trails for decades to come!

  8. Congratulations. Looks like a lovely place. You’re much too kind to your readers sharing everything though you do a great job revealing gay people are just like every day people.

  9. Congratulations to you! Thank you for sharing this with us readers, looking at the pictures and what you wrote both the location, hotel and wedding look fantastic and wonderful.

  10. Congrats and thanks for sharing your story!! Saw the episode about the Inn on Netflix and it looked like an amazing experience!

  11. Best wishes for a wonderful life together! And a great looking couple!

    I think you made great decisions on your plans and glad your families were there. Enjoy!

  12. Congrats and great idea for the wedding! Made my partner read the entry since it’s identical to what we want to do, though Fogo Island isn’t on our radar. That said, many thanks for the great tips and much happiness to both of you! [other joyous/superfluous emoji]

  13. Congratulations. Thanks for letting us know. Yes, we are your extended family. Also thanks for that Key and Peele clip. So funny, I hadn’t seen it before.

  14. Ben:

    So happy for you and Ford! Congrats and may you have many years of happiness! From a long-time reader and “straight ally.”

  15. This is fantastic! Congratulations to both of you and thank you for sharing this with your extended family! 🙂 You guys look great and I wish you guys the very best life has to offer.
    I know what you mean by wishing to elope as I’ve thought that before too. My idea has always been to elope for the wedding and have a big celebration for the 10th anniversary or 25th anniversary (where the kids can be part of it, etc.) I feel anyone can get married and it is $$$; yet not every married couple can last the 10 year mark or 25 year mark, etc. I’m weird like that.

  16. Wow- congrats Lucky! I know you’ve mentioned Ford in the past, but it’s fun to hear the story. You’re my favorite travel blogger, mainly because of how authentic your posts are. So reading this article made the whole experience that much more cool.

    Best of luck and wishing you many years of great marriage.

  17. Congratulations to you and Ford!!!! What a great time in a great place! Thanks for sharing so much with all of us.

  18. Ben. As an avid and long time reader this is an incredible and personal post thanks so much for sharing and congratulations to you and Ford.

  19. When the roaring flames of your love have burned down to embers, may you find that you’ve married your best friend. Mazel Tov!

  20. A lifetime filled with love and joy, miracles, wonder, challenges, growth, and plain damn happiness. Congratulations. You truly are lucky.

  21. It should have been me! I haven’t been this sad since Harry chose Megan. Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness and joy. It’s generally when you’re older and you recognise more of your life is behind you than ahead of you, do you realise that life is indeed short. I hope you find a place where you dance and you don’t care if anyone is watching.

  22. Congrats! But I just don’t understand how you can be married to someone who can’t enjoy an 8 day mileage run! 🙂

  23. Congratulations! (Anyone that has an issue with same sex marriage in 2018 needs to get a life)

  24. Congratulations!

    (Also, it’s not just you; I’ve been married for 7 years – September 17, 2011 – and it still feels a little weird to have a husband 🙂 )

  25. Duuuuuude this is by far my favorite post in the blog. I laughed and got emotional. You are not alone that getting married feels weird. I still refer to my wife as “my girlfriend”

    I couldn’t agree more with you. Best of lucks and cheers for you both.

    *also please dont make Ford do eternal MRs. kthxbaiiiii

  26. Congratulations; best wishes for a lifetime of happiness to you both! I’m also a fan of elopements; that is what my fiancé and I are planning to do. Your choice of location is gorgeous. Everything looked great.

  27. Congratulations. Everyone deserves a little happiness and a quality long term companionship filled with love. It isn’t easy and there are a lot of challenges going forward so i wish you the best. I am surprised though that you had enough time for a relationship with all the flying you do! LOL

    Happy Journeys from a Happy Subscriber!

    Steve Sorko,
    North Vancouver, BC, CANADA

    PS Glad to see you choose to get married in Newfoundland, CANADA!

  28. Congratulations!!!!!!!

    I wish you all the happiness in your married life! You both seem like incredible people and hopefully someday I would have the honour of meeting you’ll and congratulating you guys in person!

  29. “what impressed me was their lack of nickel & diming when it comes to having a wedding there”

    this is what i find most incredible and glad to see there are still some reasonable people/businesses out there

  30. Congratulations! Which credit card, mileage or hotel points brand did you have on your wedding registry?

  31. Congratulations on your wedding. I’d love to see a copy of your vows to each other if that is possible.. Best wishes for a long and happy marriage.

    Patrick

  32. Even i might feel little icky and might have different point of view about it it, is your life and i really wish you all the best. If this makes two people happy its none of other people business put their nose between. So i leave my nose out and Congratulations!!! And i wish you that Ford will ovecome his flyxaiety. Mazel Tov.

  33. Ben, nothing in this post about seats, nozzles, champagnes, in-flight meals, service on board…and yet, I think this is your best post!

    Congratulations, happiness always!

  34. Well done ‘ol chap. Well done. If you’re interested in having kids, I’m available for adoption.

  35. Wow! Congrats you two! I am happy for both of you! My husband and I have now been together 20 years, and were legally married the day it became legal in North Carolina (October 2014). I wish you many years of happiness and I will continue to follow your blogs and adventures here!.

  36. Congrats! We did something similar: gathered everyone at a great destination, immediate family only, service and dinner at a lovely hotel, no honeymoon, and saved boatloads of cash. 18 years later, it’s still weird to call him “husband” but it’s a nice shorthand for others to better understand our relationship.

  37. Congratulations and wishing you and Ford a long, loving, and successful road together. Cheers from San Diego!

  38. Congratulations… Thanks for sharing this personal information. I am certain it was a happy day for both of you. All the best!

  39. I signed up to this site for airline news. I hadn’t been expecting to find such highly personal and private business being publicised.

    So it’s now time to unsubscribe. Some of the articles I’ve read on this site have been helpful and informative and I thank the writers of OMAAT for those.

  40. Congratulations to both of you.

    Our daughter got married the day after you and Ford tied the know (September 29th). I must agree with you that weddings are incredibly expensive ($22,000 for 196 guests—including a rehearsal dinner and brunch for 50) and incredibly stressful. My advice to anyone who will listen is to do a destination wedding like you and Ford did.

  41. How beautiful! I first came to this blog on a friend’s recommendation for Fogo Island which had been featured an amazing BBC programme about architecture and then one about this hotel.
    Congratulations and the very best wishes for a wonderful future growing together xxxx

  42. Congrats guys! Great post! Wishing you guys much happiness and future trips in first class on points together!

  43. Ben,
    Big CONGRATULATIONS !!!
    That’s wonderful news.
    … just another fan with gratitude for your work,
    Mark

  44. Le sign. I loved this write-up. It sounds so much like Julian and I. Jaja. He indulges me as I gallivant around the world. Congratulations and I wish you and Ford the best!

  45. Félicitations! Congrats!
    Have a happy long life together. After 31 years being with my husband and are still enjoying our life together. I wish you the same.

  46. @ Debit,

    1. They are ‘married’, because the law allowed them to get ‘married’, and they did get ‘married’.

    2. The law is an ass!

  47. Ben: Full disclosure. I’m a 65-year old ex-Army officer. I was part of the early 1990’s Army staff that fought the Clinton presidency tooth and nail to achieve the “don’t ask, don’tell” policy. I still believe it was the right solution for its time (no need to debate the intricacies here).

    While some today would still label me as “homophobic” (a politically correct, crazy, made-up word in my book), I now believe we have come a long way to acknowledge the basic rights of gay people in our country. And I’m comfortable where we are today, while acknowledging that even more changes may still be needed.

    I neither endorse nor celebrate the gay lifestyle (as some would insist upon to be truly non-“homophobic”). I therefore greatly appreciate your approach to this article.

    To my main point – I offer you my sincere, unreserved congratulations and best wishes as you explore what this all means for you and your spouse. I hope your journey together provides you both great meaning and happiness.

    And I love the work you do to keep relatively novice travel hackers like me on the “straight” and narrow. Sorry, I couldn’t resist . . .

  48. Congratulations! Wishing you both every happiness. This is a personal event in your life so thank you you for sharing it with us.

  49. Congratulations to you Ben, and to Ford,
    Best wishes for a fantastic life together. In addition, I am so pleased you chose Canada, and one of the most beautiful places in Canada to get married. Thank you for showcasing Canada and allowing our beautiful country and people to share in your wedding with Ford and your families. All the best, and please return to Canada, and explore all this country has to offer. May you both continue to have an extraordinary life together!

  50. Congrats Ben and Ford! Would have been a great inside joke if you had your reception at Ford’s Filling Station, where the executive chef is Harrison Ford’s son, Ben Ford.

    **crickets**

    I’ll be here all week.

  51. Congratulations Ben & Ford!! Wishing you many happy years together. A pity the world makes so much of love between two human beings.

  52. congrats and thanks so much for making this blog personal . i am sure everyone is happy about all of these deals and infos but for me the difference to all people copying is the personal touch you give to it

  53. Many happy congratulations to you both!! May each and every day of your lives together be touched with love and joy!

  54. Congratulations Ben & Ford! Love reading your post about the wedding, and about your thoughts around marriage in general.

    My husband Gary & I are in the midst of planning our 25th Anniversary. Can’t wait to read your post when you guys reach that milestone!

    Bill

  55. Massive congratulations to you both and thanks for sharing this – I’m glad you and your families had such a great time 🙂

  56. I loved the comment that said something like when the fires of love have smouldered down to the embers, may you each find that you’ve married your best friend! That’s a beautiful sentiment. Mazel Tov to you both!

    Also a P.S. You will need to register the wedding in whatever state you call home to make it official in the USA — as it is not automatic. Consider also the tax ramifications of doing so.

  57. When is Debit finally going to get banned? Neither you nor your readers should have to keep dealing with his shit, and I think his last post has finally crossed the line from standard troll fare.

    In other news, congrats! You got married on my fifth anniversary.

  58. Congratulations Lucky and Ford! I wish you both a long, happy, and joyful life together. My wife and I have been together 19 years, but married for only three. It still feels so great to call her my wife. Thanks for sharing your story with us!

  59. A wonderful article! Congratulations to you both! Made my heart full to scroll through so much positive comments!

  60. This is my first comment on this blog. I’m a huge a fan of your blog and I can’t thank you enough for the immense knowledge I gained from you. Congratulations & happy married life!

  61. Mazel Tov! Love this post. What a great idea for a wedding…and so much less expensive and meaningful than something more traditional.

  62. Long time reader,first time posting here….
    Congratulations! A destination wedding is the way to go! I did something similar with my partner when we got married a year ago. We had an unofficial ceremony in Vietnam, followed by the legal bits and pieces back in Australia. We took about 25 friends and family and it was honestly the most memorable trip! A month long escapade with close family and friends, they all loved it.

    I wish you both well! I made my SO fly CUN-IAH-LAX-AKL-MEL-KUL-HKT all in one go so he can relate to being married to a crazy flyer haha…still married though so he survived.

  63. Congratulations to you both! So pleased to read this post on my favourite blog!

    Having married my husband last year, I can totally relate to your feelings about marriage and weddings. We ended up doing something similar – getting our immediate families together on a special trip, and it was lovely.

    Looks like you had the perfect time!

  64. Best read of the weekend! Thanks for sharing such great news and the touching manner in which you and Ford pulled it all together. Happy days and long life to you both! Congratulations.

  65. Though I have never meet you or Ford, I would like to thank you for sharing travel tips and part of your life for the last decade.
    Congrats! Love & Happiness

  66. Ben and Ford!

    Many wishes from me and my husband. Twenty years together and five years married. I didn’t think it would feel different. But it does and it took a longtime for me to fully figure out what made me feel a bit different about saying my husband. It actually to me is a symbolism for the person I have the utmost respect for and makes the world I live in a much safer place. Love and best wishes!

  67. Congratulations! I’ve been following your blog for 3 years now and it really helped me gain opportunities to fly business & first class a lot more. Best of wishes to you two.

  68. I’m so happy for you. Your story is beautiful and you make a very handsome couple. Congratulations to you both!

  69. Congratulations Ben and Ford!

    I agree with @tda. The moderators should employ their rights to ban individuals from the site who post offensive commentary on virtually every article.

  70. Congratulations! Thanks for sharing this! It looks like a really unique and amazing location for a wedding – I will keep it in mind;)

  71. Congratulations, Ben and Ford! I can tell you (at least for me) as a straight man it was weird to get married too and I didn’t feel any different immediately afterward. It was even more weird to say “my wife” but after a couple of years it comes natural and now I do feel different than I did before I got married. All the best!

  72. Congratulation to you and Ford.

    Its been 14 year since our civil partnership in the UK which we have converted to full marriage status and I still struggle with the term husband myself. I still say “other half” although he is very comfortable using the term husband.

    Its not about the wedding ceremony but the personal commitment you make and the legal standing you secure. Looks like we still had a smaller celebration with a party of four people; sadly with no family members in attendance on other side. Celebrate the family support if nothing else. Family matters.

  73. Congratulations to you and Ford! I remember planning our wedding some 13 years ago. Neither my husband or I were keen on doing the traditional big event, walking down the aisle, plus spending a huge amount of money. We basically “eloped” and had 3 very special family members with us, and then a wonderful dinner in a great restaurant. We then had a big party in two separate locations for various family members and friends (people in Ontario, and in Alberta). Your wedding sounds perfect!

  74. Congratulations, and FWIW, a few years down the track nothing will feel weird about it. Speaking from experience.

  75. Congrats! Ford is cute 🙂

    And so far only a couple dumb comments. I think that says a lot about how people actually value your blog and sincerity.

  76. Congratulations! I’m so happy you got married the way you wanted to. Best wishes for years of bliss (and travel) 😀

  77. Congratulations on your marriage! Here’s to many front-of-the-plane miles ahead for the two of you!

  78. Congrats, Ben! Hoping marriage isn’t in the cards for me but if that isn’t the case, this is how I want to do it!

  79. Mazel tov to you both – here’s to a lifetime of happiness, exploration, and fulfillment.

    Thanks for sharing this with us and thank you for being a part of our day – this little community brings me so much joy.

  80. Congrats you too.
    While I share all you misgiving about marriage (and a few others), I got married myself because of immigration issues (my partner was from a different country), and (now separated), will not marry again (unless some other admin issue is needed).
    It is not my place to ask, maybe, but if you feel this way, Ben, why did you get married at all? It seems like that may have been Ford’s desire (which is a good reason as any), but it seems like you’re still not convinced yourself (which is a reason to wait a bit more, perhaps).

  81. Congratulations to you both. Long time reader. Getting near retirement. Have a partner of 14 years and we are looking at doing something similar. Same as you – not into PDA or big weddings – just the official ceremony is fine. Just returned from first ever visit to NL and spent two weeks on the west coast. Completely understand why you chose Fogo. Best of luck to you both!

  82. Congratulations! And thanks for sharing your personal story. Wishing you many years of happiness together

  83. Mazel tov to you both. L’chaim and all the good things.

    As the son of a gay man who came out around the time that became possible, I can empathize with your feelings in many ways. As a twice married, big ceremony each time person, I can empathize with your questioning the wisdom of spending so much on just one thing.

    As a reader and fan, I can say the way you have spoken of Ford over time, it is clear you two are meant to be together for a long time.

    Truly, the best to you both. May the world almost be your oyster, and to one another the pearls.

  84. Congratulations Ben and Ford! So glad you found your perfect wedding location. Personalizing the experience for yourselves and sharing it with family are truly what counts.

  85. Huge congrats, and this wedding post definitely resonates, so thanks for the thoughts for people who ‘don’t like weddings’

  86. Condolences. We all make bad decisions. This will be with you for the next 50 years. Try to give as much joy to each other as possible under the circumstances. Remember ADOPT.

  87. Long time reader and first comment.

    Big congrats and wishing you all the best going forward.

    Having a special someone to share life with is great and you two seems and sounds like a great match.

    I married my partner last year and we likewise chose to keep it small and sweet. I do think it over time feels differently – and only in a good way. 🙂

    Best wishes and enjoy it all!

  88. OMG Congratulations man!!! Really happy for you both!!! Tbh, I was waiting to hear this for a long time! Stay blessed!

  89. Mazel tov to you and Ford. I’m a new subscriber as of this year. My hubby and I just celebrated our third anniversary on October 12th. We met in Waterloo, ON, CA, where he received his master’s degree in chemical engineering. The job market can be fickle, so as of February of this year, he is working as a Chinese speaking FA on American Airlines. He loves his job and works hard. I can’t wait to start traveling more now. Thanks for your informative blog and may you and Ford have a wonderful life together.

  90. Ben, I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am for you. Right now I’m reading your comments for our son (Frequently Flying) upon his death almost 5 years ago, as I made a Memory Book of all the comments and many of his posts. He loved following One Mile at a Time and felt the same about you being “one of the nicest guys in our miles and points ‘world'”. Much, much happiness to you and Ford. Oh, and I loved the skit however ridiculous – Darren (gay) would have, too! Sincere Congratulations❣

  91. May I echo as one of many Congratulations Ben & Ford!
    lol I think this may be a record in the amount of replies to one of your posts
    Might have to get married more often to keep the numbers up
    May you have an incredible life together with many miles & points from now into retirement

  92. Congratulations, and what a great location! Just surprised that you didn’t exchange vows in a first class suite on a plane 😉

  93. Long time reader here, maybe 6 years now or more. I feel like I’ve seen you do so much and go so many places and now this. I’m so happy for you Ben. A lot of the ways you feel I feel that I can relate and it really brings me joy to see you found someone who makes you so happy. You give me hope. You and Ford are such a cute couple and I’m glad you decided to bring all of your family together for a great memory. Fogo Island looked beautiful. Anyway, I look forward to more of your stories and adventures to come. Congrats you two!

  94. Heartiest congratulations!!! Have been married for coming on 40 years (hetero), we can only wish you both all the fun we have had and are still having. Enjoy!

  95. Thanks for sharing this very private and personal moment. The picture of the two of you made my heart melt. You really are a great role model for young people today. I wish you both all the happiness in the world, you deserve it.

  96. Ecstatic to read this post. So heartfelt and warm. A massive congratulations to you and Ford, and wishing you both a lifetime of happiness!

  97. In contrast to @Andromeda, I can’t stress enough the importance of this post to so many people out there still in the closet or just trying to figure things out. I think many and more are so happy for you and wish you many years of joy. And I appreciated the conservative commentators as well, noting that despite different opinions, an acknowledgement of your joy and celebration ought to be first and foremost. Life is too short for hate. I wish you both many happy years together. Thanks for posting!

  98. Is this one of your most commented posts? I hope so because that would make it even more special!
    +276 on Congrats (as of now). May you two have an amazing life together!

  99. Congratulations!!!! It sounds like you found the perfect place and style of ceremony, and now it’ll always be a great memory 🙂

  100. Congrats! 😀 All the best to you both!

    Looks like a beautiful and intimate celebration with your closest friends and family.

  101. All the best to you both! Thanks for all you do for us and letting us share a bit of your life journey.

  102. Congrats!

    I think the biggest thing about marriage is the sense of permanence it brings. You can make plans far into the future.

  103. Congrats to both of you and many years of happiness.
    I gotta say though, the pictures you’ve posted of that hotel look cold, minimal and less than inviting. Not a plant, a carpet on the floor, a single picture on the wall, nothing. I didn’t check their rates but the east coast of my country has never appealed, so I won’t be going there anyways, but geez, that place is sparse.

  104. Ben and Ford, Congratulations and may you have a lifetime of joy together. You are a very handsome couple! Thanks for including your extended family. I feel the same way about you.
    Ken in Phoenix

  105. @Lucky: “But I think of you guys as being part of my extended family” – that was a very sweet thing to say! Wishing you and Ford a wonderful life together!

  106. Congrats Lucky Lucky & Lucky Ford. Many years and journeys together. Especially nice that supporting family were there to celebrate with you. Take Care, Fly More… RayFlyer

  107. Ben,

    First a genuine congratulations. I wish you and Ford the best in your marriage. Remember communicate communicate communicate!!! Secondly as a mid 50s heterosexual male, and 15 year Marine Corps veteran I want to personally thank you for this blog. Two reasons you have been extremely helpful in my figuring out miles and points, and also I am impressed with your passion and entrepreneurial skills in converting that to a successful business. lastly I lost to many good men in my platoon and company in the era of don’t ask don’t tell in the 90s because of ignorance. As a commanding officer, I was shamed and never promoted after standing up for my men. Who happened to have a different lifestyle, The Sad thing is these men were dedicated warriors. My point is do not apologize who you and Ford are never be ashamed, be proud and loyal to each other. Again congratulations and all the best to you two!!

  108. Congratulations!!! I am glad that your wedding was amazing and that you decided to share your experience.

    My husband and I were together for 11 years before we got married and are so happy that we did! Trust me referring to Ford as your husband will become natural and actually makes “defining” your relationship for people so much easier.

    Crongrats again!!

  109. Congratulations!! Long time reader (maybe 7+ years). It was very sweet and kind of you and Ford to share this moment with the readers.

  110. Congrats Lucky & Ford!

    Wishing you guys all the best!

    Loved the location and accommodations. Canada is beautiful.

  111. Congratulations to you both! Thank you for this post and being visible.

    Now, as Mama Ru would tell you … “Don’t f*#$ it up!”

  112. It looks to me like you did this exactly right (well, except for “fiancee”… That’s a woman!)

    Congrats!

  113. I think an article on “Family Pooling” of miles maybe in order in regards to same sex marriages and “friendly” mileage programmes.

  114. I came here just to see what @Debit would say. My advice is, just ignore the Master Troll because he’s laughing all the way to the bank and back. He’s getting what he wants. For those trolls trolling Debit, you lost the battle and always will.

    Btw Lucky… Congrats.

  115. Congratulations! It’s wonderful to see how many people appreciate you and your blog – thank you for all the great stories and advice. Best wishes to you & Ford.

  116. Congrats!!! I love this post and think it’s so awesome that you went back to Fogo island. Ha … Ford got Lucky and Lucky got a Ford! (Groan)

  117. Congratulations Lucky and Ford! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Perhaps we will cross paths in ZQN some time!

  118. Ben and Ford,

    The biggest of congratulations to you two!! I wish you all of the best from California and know that you will live a long, happy, heathy and loving life together.

    Ben, an especially big thank you for letting us into your personal life. It’s been amazing to see you grow through the years and I’m so glad you’ve continued despite all the negativity you get.

    Here’s to you guys!
    Much love,
    Gauss

  119. Congratulations to the both of you. I’ll be celebrating two years with my husband next weekend and am so thankful to be sharing life and exploring new adventures together. I wish you both the same!

  120. Congratulations from me too. I hope being married doesn’t slow you down on the flying and the excellent reviews.

  121. Congratulation Ben and Ford … and well done for taking the plunge.

    (your milestone vs live every day to the most thought really resonated with me)

  122. WOW SO EXCITED FOR U GUYS! U look great together. It was hard for me to read when u said that u feel like u will never truly fit in cuz ure gay, ure marriage is real and ure love for each other is so meaningful and easy to see. I wish u much happiness and great travels for the rest of ure lives. Ps it was heartwarming to hear that u consider us part of ure family because right now I feel the same way about u. CONGRATS AGAIN

  123. Congrats! Even if Tiffany did spoil it for those of us who don’t follow you guys on other platforms 😉

  124. Congratulations. May you have many happy years together. Am so excited for you both. Thank you for sharing with us this joyful occasion.

  125. Congratulations to you both though

    I have a wedding in Majorca next summer. Any chance I can borrow your suit?

  126. Okay

    1) Congrats!

    2) So what card did you pay with for the non-points stuff and how much did you make in points from paying for it that way?

    I know it’s a little tacky. But a lot of us are guessing at the math right now so I’m just going to ask it anyway.

  127. Congratulations! Best Wishes!

    Ps I have never left a comment on your blog before even though I have been reading it daily for number of year, and I just want to take this opportunity to thank you for maintaining such a wonderful and informative blog.

  128. Congrats, Lucky!
    Fogo Island looks like the perfect setting for this occasion. Looks absolutely splendid!

  129. I had to scroll down past so many comments to say this, but holy crap congratulations on this! Your blog has meant a lot to so many of us. Sharing your happiness was great to see. In some ways we are your extended family and we all wish you well!

  130. Congratulations! This is how a wedding should be… a special moment and location for the two involved.

  131. Congratulations to you both and best wishes for a happy life together! Also, great to see so many positive posts on this… we have moved on as a society, which is great!

  132. Congratulations!
    I married my amazing now husband the same day but 2 years ago. We have still to have our honeymoon and your article has given us an idea of where to go. We were going to Australia but things went horribly wrong due to illness. Anyway, hubby has just read this and is looking at flights etc as I’m writing this so thank you!
    I hope you enjoy being a married man as much as I do

  133. Congratulations !!! from long time readers myself & the wife

    no idea how manieth congratulation this is, nevertheless, i truly believe every and single one is said from the bottom of our hearts. even debit’s (one just has to know how to interpret his sarcastic messages)

  134. Congrats Lucky and Ford! Excellent post and excellent news! Appreciate every single post and especially this one.

  135. Congratulations Ben and Ford! Your wedding looked stunning! When I was a CSD with British Airways, (recently retired) I would discuss your blog and show your blog to passengers, who all loved it… hope you enjoy many years of travelling around the globe together.

  136. Congrats! It sounds to me like you had an epic wedding!
    I got married in front of a judge and I do miss having the wedding experience. I don’t think that I’ll ever have one but my husband loves to travel and he has promised me that once the kids are older he’ll go all over with me. He may just hate to travel later. lol!
    I’m happy that you found someone so wonderful! I hope the years only enhance what you already have found in each other!

  137. This made my day! Congrats guys! My husband and I got married this year and it’s the best thing we’ve ever done.

  138. So odd. It had been mentioned two times prior to this post that you two just got married and we heard cricket sound…. now you have an official post and congrats flow in…

    Anyway, congrats to Benford. Hopefully next time when Ford post, people will be kinder instead of being bitchy.

  139. Life is short,so enjoy while you have it.Life is a blessing given to us by God and we should cherish every moment of it.Wish tou luck for the future.

  140. Felicitations to a gorgeous couple – and felicitations on committing in such a gorgeous setting. Nature and impeccable taste is the perfect setting for an affirming ceremony.

  141. Congrats!
    Its not icky. What is icky is thinking of how clean the sheets, bathtub, chair, ottoman, hanging chandelier, or that weird little table by the entryway that has fake pine cones on it are in a hotel room after honeymooners stay there. (Whether they are straight, gay, or somewhere in between…)

  142. Wow….Lucky and Ford….what a post and good news to start new week. All the best for your future together. One wish : Now you are a family…please more articles about travelling from other point of view then a single traveller!!!! Ich freue mich riesig für euch beide. Ein treuer Leser von Beginn an.

  143. Congratulations!!
    I guess most of us had already suspected so when during this weekend all these canned articles were published by Tiffany and James – probably you own wedding was going to be the only reason for you to stop posting for two days in a row 🙂

    You say it doesn’t feel different – well, I’d be curious to see how you respond to that after a year or two… I thought the same way and have to admit that it does make things different after all.
    All the best for both of you!

  144. Wishing you and Ford all the best! Congratulations and thank you so much for sharing your special day with us !

  145. Congrads Lucky!!!!
    It feels like a good friend of mine getting married.
    Wish you and Ford happily married ever after:D

  146. Congratulations gentlemen. And thank you both for sharing your special personal moments with all of us. You make a beautiful couple and I wish you the happiest of lives together. Great choice on the venue, too!

  147. Joining the crowds to send both of you my heartfelt congratulations!!
    And as a gay man who got married 3 years ago – I totally agree with the “weirdness” of it, although for the most part getting married didn’t change anything at all for us, except our taxes 😉 . Congrats again and all the best!

  148. Oh, my! I must admit to having some feelings of jealousy! I am NOT into weddings (mine was a 10 minute thing at Washington city hall; I went to the gym immediately afterwards). However, the photos of your Fogo wedding are so beautiful. What an extraordinary setting and what a glorious way to start life together.

    You have my most heartfelt congratulations.

    I cannot let @Walt Spevak’s comment go unrecognized: “Ford got Lucky. And Lucky got a Ford.”

    Way too funny.

  149. Congrats Ben and Ford! You sounds like me. We got married last year. We didn’t have big wedding because I don’t like the attention. It is still feel a little bit weird until now. However I think the marriage is important to reaffirm your commitment towards one another. Wish you both happiness for a lifetime.

  150. Congratulations Lucky and Ford. Thanks for sharing your happy news with us.

    It’s so heartening to see so many positive comments here when so often the Internet is full of anger and hate.
    Your blog is great and so are your readers!

  151. Congratulations!

    I fear so many people get so caught up in what their wedding “should” be like, that they end up spending a fortune for an event just to please others. It sounds like you guys succeeded in making your wedding something the two of you will remember and cherish, as will your guests.

    Thanks for sharing your story with us! Herzlichen Glückwunsch!

  152. Congratulations, with much health, happiness, and new travel adventures to come for you & Ford!

    Best wishes,
    Meredith

    p.s. I’m writing this in Hong Kong. You kept coming to mind today, even before I read this post! 🙂

  153. Congratulations! Thank you for sharing all of your reviews and travel knowledge to make this hobby more rewarding for so many people.

  154. So happy for the two of you.

    I’ve been following you for years (since discovering Flyer Talk in 2003) and have “watched” you grow both personally and professionally.

    Congrats to you and Ford.

  155. Congratulations. Wishing you both a lifetime of smooth flights and on-time departures. Thank you for sharing.

  156. Congratulations Ben and Ford! I always feel Ford is taller but your guys looks almsot the same height..a beautiful couple!

  157. What a handsome couple! Congratulations to you both ♥️

    Lucky, I remember when you would organize 30+ people for Coast to Coast & Mainland to Island Dos without battling an eye, now you’re saying how difficult it was to manage 8 people?!! You’re slipping, boy!

    All the best to you both,
    Sue & Bear

  158. Congratulations. I dont believe in splashy weddings either. Too stressful and rythmic.
    I thinks that is a party to celebrate others expectations. I am a more private person so I ghink a reception with very close family a friends is more than enough. Or just the two of us.

    Thanks for sharing. Staying at Home one evening and doing nothing but a movie and. wine can be very rewarding too.

    Home is where the heart is. Corny but sooo true.

  159. Congratulations!! About 5 years ago I performed the wedding for my son and his partner, legally in the state of Washington, and then a formal wedding for our families from the U.S. & Japan in Honolulu at the Halekulani Hotel. It was one of the most joyous occasions that I (a Methodist pastor) would never have dreamed possible ten years ago. Best wishes for many wondrous adventures together!

  160. Congratulations to you both, what a wonderful place to have your wedding, and done in a manner that really appeals to me!

    I have to admit that I can relate to some of the discomfort you shared, but your approach is truly inspirational to me. Thank you for revealing a path that feels more attractive and approachable, and one that I will share with my partner of nearly 14 years. I think it’s about time he and I made it official.

    Ben, you have provided such an amazing service to my family, my friends and myself. Through your amazingly informative blog, we have managed to do 3 rtw trips, including an amazing trip to South Africa for 4 of us in the front of the plane. And lots of other fun and unexpected ways to elevate our travel destinations and experiences. It has really made our travel adventures even more special.

    Wishing you and Ford many more wonderful adventures together, in your travels and in your home life. Thank you for allowing us to ride along on so many of them. Cheers!

  161. Congratulations to you both. I wish you a lifetime of happiness. Your final paragraph brought tears to my eyes.

  162. Congratulations! As a gay man, I share your feelings about marriage. My husband (still weird to type that word) and I eloped nearly 5 years ago at the LA County courthouse at LAX, then celebrated at Proud Bird. Good on you for bringing your families together in such a unique place! All the best!

  163. Best wishes for a wonderful life together! My wife and I have been married for over 58 years and we wish you both only good health and happiness together.

  164. You have been such an inspiration to me for the past few years, so congratulations Ben and Ford, I’m so happy to see you two finally tying the knot, the photo of you two really brought the feels!

  165. Congratulations! What a lovely touching post. My allergies are firing up again…..

    Wishing you the best of happiness and thanks for sharing this with us.

  166. Congratulations Ben and Ford!

    Thanks for sharing the lovely news.

    First time comment here but a very long time reader. I am yet need to figure out how to use my Qantas points.. Greeting from Sydney.

  167. You seem like a genuinely awesome good guy. I had my first flight in business class the other day and it was on JAL. Now maybe I understand better how you can cope with flying all the time. 😉 Best wishes to you and Ford.

  168. Dear Lucky and Ford,

    I have been reading this blog for many years now and this is the first time I have ever felt like commenting. Though I am Canadian and much of the content isn’t directly applicable to me, I still find myself coming back every few days to learn more – or just to live vicariously through your trip reports. My hearty congratulations to the both of you! Great choice in location too 😉

    Kino

  169. Congratulations to you! Thank you for not making a dramatic coming out and just leave personal details of your life naturally stem from your articles. As a gay traveler myself, I would have big interest in reading an article of you on how airline companies deal with CSR issues such as this one (I know Air France gay FA don’t want to fly to some Arabian countries for instance).

    Cheers from Paris!

  170. As someone who has only read your blog for a couple years, I will add my congratulations to the pile. My wife and I have a similar aversion to big overly-expensive weddings – so we had a small one in Mauritius.

    All the best to you both.

  171. Congratulations and you’ll find “milestone moments” will always be with you for the rest of your life.. During those quiet times when you’re by yourself or just daydreaming something will suddenly remind you of those moments out of the blue and you will feel the joy again.

    Embrace those “milestone moments”.

  172. Congrats Lucky and Ford! What a great place to go to for your wedding. Wishing you much happiness always.

  173. Hey Coins.

    Mazel tov on becoming a member of the club. I hope that you and Ford are married as long as I am to my wife. Pushing 40 years end of October.

    dhammer53

  174. Aww congratulations you two! Your wedding looks chic, elegant, warm and comfortable. What a wonderful way to get married! Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness.

  175. Congratulations on the wedding – your Fogo Island review a few months (years?) ago was a lot of fun to read- so am happy you decided to hold the wedding on this beautiful island. I am happy the people of Fogo island have been able to shift their livelihood from fisheries to tourism (although I hope the Newfoundland fisheries can be revived). I enjoy following your life adventures on this blog. Good luck on many happy years ahead,

  176. Congratulations!!! My partner and I hope to make it to Fogo Island one of these days…and maybe get married there as well 🙂

  177. Congrats guys! Really enjoyed this post and your take on marriage 🙂
    We got married just over a month ago and also opted for the elope/family style wedding. Wish you both the best

  178. Congratulations !!!
    Simple intimate weddings are the best!! I agree with you spending so much money on a wedding is not worth it
    Best to save the money for travel experiences 😉
    What matters is love and relationships and enjoyment of life

  179. Wow! I hope that from time to time you go back and reread these posts to recognize how loved and supported you are by so many people!
    I know you struggled with what to write but you did it beautifully!
    Love is a treasure! Treat it accordingly every day!
    Best wishes to you both! Health and happiness all the days of your lives!

  180. Congratulations, Ben & Ford!! I’m really happy for you both. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us. I’ve always enjoyed most the posts that are meaningful to you, like your trips with your family and with Ford.

  181. This is so sweet.
    Congratulations Lucky & Ford!
    What a splendid ceremony and a gorgeous location. And judging by the pictures and the various mentions of your family members over time, I’m sure they all felt the same.

    Congratulations to you both! 😀

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