My Mom’s Suffering Is Over: Reflecting On The Best Of Times, Worst Of Times

My Mom’s Suffering Is Over: Reflecting On The Best Of Times, Worst Of Times

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Before I get into this, let me say that this is more of a personal post, so if you’re simply here for travel content, please skip this post (though there’s a travel angle). I’ve been blogging for well over 17 years, and I’ve shared my highs and lows here. In recent years, Ford and I have had some highs, with the birth of our two healthy sons, who make us smile every day.

But unfortunately it’s time to share a (selfish) low. The day I’ve been dreading for well over six years is finally here — my mom’s battle with cancer came to an end early this morning, and all of her pain and suffering has been taken away. She outlived any expectation that we had when she first got her diagnosis, but that doesn’t make it any easier for those of us she left behind.

I’m happy for her. I know she has been looking forward to seeing my oldest brother (among others) in heaven, who she has missed dearly, since he died in an accident at a young age. But that doesn’t take away my pain, because it sure feels like a piece of me has gone with her…

My mom was a remarkable, one-of-a-kind woman

Before I even talk about my mom’s cancer battle, let me just talk a little about my mom. I was blessed with such an unconditionally loving and supportive mom. Perhaps what sums up my mom’s nature more than anything is her love for kids. 

My mom with Miles & Jet (and Winston photobombing)

She always told me that when she was younger, she wanted to have a dozen kids, and how nice it would be to have them all at the dinner table every night. She was always so loving, nurturing, and full of life. While Ford and I were excited when we had kids, I think my mom was even more excited. Her eyes just lit up when she saw them, and she could play with them for hours.

Miles loved having out with “baba!”
“Baba” is happy she got to meet baby brother Jet

Despite my mom being significantly weakened due to her cancer, nothing could stop her from playing with them, and they brought her to life, and took away her pain. She had energy with them as if she wasn’t even sick. I’ll forever cherish the time they had together.

But that’s only the start of my mom’s traits. She was also generous and stubborn. Even though she didn’t necessarily have that much, she would give the shirt off her back to anyone who needed it. And speaking of stubbornness, goodness would we get into fights over who was allowed to pay for things. I like to treat my parents to things as a small way of giving back to them for what they did for me, but she would argue with me to no end, and only agree if she could pay for something herself.

“Can we go to XYZ to eat?” “Only if I can invite you,” she’d always say. What she forgot is that I got my stubbornness from her, so more often than not, I’d win. Like, if she visited us and we didn’t let her pay for something, she’d text me on the drive home saying “check in the drawer next to the bed,” or something.

She also had such a love for life. Even on some of her worst days, she’d still point out all the things that made her happy and that she was grateful for.

My mom’s six plus year ovarian battle cancer

I remember Mother’s Day 2019 like it was yesterday. The Thursday before Mother’s Day, I was in Savannah, and got a call from my mom that she was in the ER, because she had unbearable pain. She had been complaining of pain for some time, but despite multiple visits to doctors prior to that, no one could figure out what she had.

I immediately flew home, and by the time Sunday rolled around, she was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer. It was clear she had virtually no chance of complete remission, it was just a function of how long her life could be extended through chemotherapy and other treatments.

I’ll never forget Mother’s Day 2019…

Our expectations were set pretty clearly, that she probably wouldn’t be around for long at all, and possibly had months to live. But she tried some aggressive treatments, and they managed to keep her alive longer than anyone had expected.

For a long time, she had good quality of life. She just had such a will to live. We never thought she’d live to meet our first son, let alone still be in his life when he was three years old. She was even around to meet our second son, and I know how much that meant to her (and us). In many ways, I think they helped motivate her to fight for so long.

I won’t bore you guys with all the details, but while her condition obviously continued to deteriorate over time, she had pretty good quality of life through 2024, on and off. Don’t get me wrong, it was an absolute roller coaster, since it’s not like things were consistent. On multiple occasions, she had been given a couple of months to live, only to then have another treatment work on her.

However, in 2024, she got to the point where she was weak and out of options, so she entered (at-home) hospice. My mom is a fighter, and she spent around a year in hospice. Even without any treatments, she still stuck around longer than anyone expected. I think that was largely motivated by hoping to meet our younger son, since she didn’t think she’d be around for his birth. My mom’s pain tolerance is on a completely different level, so while she had bad pain for a long time, it became unbearable in recent weeks.

Around two weeks ago I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she said “it’s my time, I can’t handle the pain anymore.” She had never said that before to me. I knew that day was coming, and I knew it was what was best for her, but I couldn’t help but just instantly have tears running down my face upon hearing that. At that point I knew her days were numbered.

Things deteriorated significantly over the weekend — she fell and broke her hip (as mentioned above, my mom was a stubborn person who never wanted to help from anyone, and she went to the bathroom alone at night, rather than asking for help), and had to be brought to the ER. It’s incredible how people know when it’s their time. In a way, it felt like she set her own timeline there.

My mom had the best time of her life in recent years

I am grateful beyond words that I’ve had as much time with my mom as I did. Many people lose their loved ones from one second to the next, and don’t even get to say goodbye. We were lucky enough to have so much time with her.

My mom always said that the best years of her life were since she was diagnosed with cancer. For one, something like cancer makes you so much more grateful to just be able to wake up every day and be alive, and she lived with that gratitude every single day. Whether it was something small, like enjoying a sunrise with a cup of coffee, or an ice cream, or something big, like a trip, she was always so grateful.

But second, we’ve also done everything we can to take her on as many trips as possible, and to have as many special moments as possible. You know the phrase “live every moment as if it’s your last?” That’s kind of how I tried to approach things, with respect to her.

So we took a countless number of trips with her, always thinking they’d be our last. I remember special trips to Big Sur, Hawaii, Greece, Germany, and so many more destinations.

Fun at Alila Ventana Big Sur in 2021!

I also can’t count the number of times that I’ve visited her. Miami to Tampa is my most flown route, and the reason I always flew that was to see her. I don’t know how many months I’ve collectively spent “living” with her, just enjoying each others’ company, playing cards, and more.

I’m so grateful that as she passes, I really don’t think I could’ve reasonably done more to make the most of our time. So there’s a joy in knowing that I did my best, and that I’m so blessed to have been able to say goodbye in this way, because so many people don’t have that opportunity. I’m also so lucky to have the flexibility to be able to work from anywhere and to have a supportive family (they made so many sacrifices as well), since most people wouldn’t have the ability to do that, and I don’t take it for granted.

Goodness, did we have some fun travels in recent years!

The past six years have also been impossibly challenging

While I’m so grateful I’ve had so much time with my mom, I have to be honest — finding the right balance when you have a loved one with terminal cancer is so complicated. Back when my mom was first diagnosed, many people who had been in similar situations kindly reached out with advice. The advice was all over the place, but one thing was consistent — it’s not easy.

I just had such a hard time with this, because I’ve always been so close to my mom. Ultimately we’re all only on this earth for so long, so I suppose the clock is ticking for all of us. But if you have a terminal cancer diagnosis, that timeline is even more condensed.

Hindsight is of course 20/20, and if I had known my mom would be around for over six years, I might’ve planned things differently. But I always approached things as if the end was very near, because that’s what we thought. We never imagined she’d have as much time as she did.

There’s no denying that in the past several years, I’ve sort of lost myself a bit. Focusing on a sick relative is all-consuming. I’m not just talking about the actual amount of time spent with her, but even more the mental bandwidth it takes up. There probably hasn’t been a waking hour since my mom became sick that I didn’t think about my limited time left with her.

And honestly, this takes a toll on other aspects of life. It’s tough on relationships, friendships, etc., because you put other things on the back burner, but when this lasts from your late 20s to your mid 30s, that’s a big chunk of life. Since my mom was diagnosed, I haven’t planned a single trip that far in advance, since I always assumed the end would be near.

I’m really sorry for the people I’ve failed and let down in recent years, because I’ve just felt so overwhelmed and distracted by this situation. Hopefully I can start a new chapter, and can go back to being a bit more focused on other things. While my mom’s cancer diagnosis feels like it was yesterday, the concept of living life without thinking about her cancer also feels foreign, and like it’s from a different life. 

The past six plus years have been a wild ride

Saying goodbye was worse than I could’ve expected

Given how much lead time we’ve had, I thought I was mentally prepared for my mom’s passing. I think I did everything I could, she had several incredible and unforgettable years, and she said she was ready to go. What more could anyone ask for?

In my head, I can’t count the number of times I played out how the end would go. I didn’t want to think about it, but I couldn’t help myself. Selfishly, I dreaded losing her. But no matter how hard I tried, or how bad I made it out in my head, I wasn’t prepared.

I’ve spent the entire week with her leading up to her passing, first at a hospital, then in an ambulance, and then in a hospice facility. I even slept on the couch next to her at hospice, and I think I collectively slept maybe 15 minutes last night, as I just listened to her breathing, as she came down from her terminal restlessness.

Nightmare doesn’t even begin to describe what it’s like to watch someone suffer and then pass in this way. It’s just so unbelievably painful, and the phases go from bad to worse. If there’s any silver lining, she passed in peace, and now her suffering is over.

Give your loved ones a hug, be kind, and take that trip

I haven’t even started processing how I feel, so I’m hardly in a position to give anyone advice (at least as of now) on how to deal with losing a loved one. However, I do have a few things to say.

First, give your loved ones an extra hug, and tell them you love them. If you’ve been thinking about taking a trip and/or spending quality time with a loved one, take that trip, and spend quality time with them. You won’t regret it (well, don’t be irresponsible, but other than that…) — you’re much more likely to regret the things that you didn’t do than the things you did do.

Second, there’s so much suffering in the world, so we really need to all be better at being kind to one another. I feel like I’ve just gone through a complete nightmare, but this is something that so many people have to deal with.

I’ve lost people before, but not like this. As much as my mother died too young, at least it was me saying goodbye to her, and not the other way around (as she had to say goodbye to my oldest brother). And I’m so lucky, because so many people have been in so much worse situations. The suffering out there is endless, so always show compassion and kindness when you can.

Lastly, the past several years have made me so incredibly grateful for any day where I can wake up and just be healthy, spend time with those I love, etc. Our society largely idolizes things like money, power, and fame, when in reality, none of that matters. What matters is having good health (as much as possible), spending quality time with loved ones, doing something for other people, and having the blessing of waking up every day and being able to live another day. 

Hopefully premium cabin award space is better in heaven than on earth

Bottom line

My mom’s long battle with cancer is finally over. She’s now finally in peace and pain free, so the only people who are suffering are those of us she left behind. Thanks for letting me share this here, because this is therapeutic for me (which is why I’m getting this up so quickly).

Honestly, I feel so heartbroken, lost, and confused. I’m sure I’m going to go through a roller coaster of emotions over the coming days, weeks, months, and years, but I at least find comfort in knowing that my mom’s suffering is over.

A huge part of my life has been taken away from me, at least in flesh. But my mom’s amazing spirit and the things she taught me will always stick with me. I also feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I hope I can put that into other things in life that matter, including being at least half as good of a parent to my kids as my mom was to me.

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  1. CXTraveller Gold

    Ben, I am so sorry for your loss! My condolences to you and your family!

    What a wonderful tribute to your mom! We are here only for a finite amount of time and will reunite with our loved ones in eternity. God bless!

  2. John Guest

    I Lost my dad when i was 28. He never had a chance to see me married , never saw grandkids, never got to grow old with my mom. This post brought back some bad memories of the end of his life, but as you go on the bad memories fade into the background and the good memories take over.

    Never apologize for letting others down in this scenario. You didn’t let your mother down and thats all that matters.

  3. Shashank Nigam Guest

    May she rest in piece. Thanks for being so open and sharing your journey Ben. Big Hugs!

  4. Teja Guest

    Deeply sorry for your loss Ben, my thoughts are with you and your family. I appreciate your sharing the story with us. These things tend to go in waves so I wish you the best as you surf them.

  5. Proximanova Diamond

    I hope this crosses 500 comments. It deserves to. Your mother was — is — a champion, and lived every second of her quickly ticking life to the fullest, overcame her pain and shared her joys. That she lived for as long as she did, enough to see two beautiful grandchildren, is a testament to her fighting spirit. I’m grateful for the way you have shared her story with the world, and may she rest...

    I hope this crosses 500 comments. It deserves to. Your mother was — is — a champion, and lived every second of her quickly ticking life to the fullest, overcame her pain and shared her joys. That she lived for as long as she did, enough to see two beautiful grandchildren, is a testament to her fighting spirit. I’m grateful for the way you have shared her story with the world, and may she rest in the peace she so dearly deserved. Your boys will one day look up at the sky and ask where their granny is, and you will tell them about the remarkable person that she was.

  6. 767-223 Guest

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away last year and I miss her dearly. She had multiple strokes over the past 10 years but the last one did her in. Her life was never the same after the first one and she only got worse. I did find comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering.

  7. Frog Guest

    My condolences Ben. That was a beautiful and moving post. Thanks for sharing it with us (unselfishly).

  8. Christian Guest

    Condolences to you and your family! Loosing a parent is one of the most difficult things life throws at us.

  9. Euro Gold

    Been a long-time reader and even participated in your chats during COVID years ago. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad I took the time to read through the whole article to hear about what you had to go through these past couple of years and all that you have done for your mother. I think you have got a lot to think about, go through, and work out, but...

    Been a long-time reader and even participated in your chats during COVID years ago. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad I took the time to read through the whole article to hear about what you had to go through these past couple of years and all that you have done for your mother. I think you have got a lot to think about, go through, and work out, but I will say that you have not disappointed me one bit. In fact, I think you have a lot to be proud of, not the very least in being able to balance out all that has been going on in your life. I hope you can take some time out for yourself, and once again I am sorry about your loss.

  10. Bruce Diamond

    I had tears in my eyes as I read this Ben. Those who bring us into the world, clothe us, teach us, read to us, protect us, and love us are the most precious, and their shining light is beyond what words can describe. I always like to think that the more time we spend around someone, the more of an imprint they leave on our character. As if your existence is a large tapestry...

    I had tears in my eyes as I read this Ben. Those who bring us into the world, clothe us, teach us, read to us, protect us, and love us are the most precious, and their shining light is beyond what words can describe. I always like to think that the more time we spend around someone, the more of an imprint they leave on our character. As if your existence is a large tapestry and everyone who you spend quality time with weaves threads into that tapestry. And so when they are gone all you have to do is look into the mirror and you will see them, because you will always carry a part of them with you <3

  11. JD Guest

    Oh Ben. Thank you so much for sharing your mom’s life with us. This was such a beautiful tribute to her.

  12. Harold Guest

    beautiful tribute. its a testament to your consistency that I noticed "wow only 1 article this morning and its already 11am- I hope everything is okay"

    My condolences to you and your family

  13. Ricky Guest

    Sorry about your loss Ben. Those are some beautiful pictures of your mom.

  14. Izz Guest

    Lucky, I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom’s passing, feels like a loss for us all, your larger website family. Your love for your Mom was always true and came through in many posts over the years. Your mom is a very special person, and I am sure she is in a special place in heaven now, with god watching over her.

  15. Thomas Guest

    I'm sorry for your loss, Ben

  16. Francisco C Guest

    My condolences. You are an exemplary son. Thank you for sharing this.

  17. Calvin Guest

    "The best years of my life were the years since I was diagnosed with cancer." What an incredibly profound and beautiful statement. May she rest now in God's peace, the only true "First Class" and the only one that matters.

  18. sb Guest

    Sorry for your loss and thank you for the reminders about family, life, etc. You're all in my heart.

  19. Peter A Guest

    My condolences on your loss. The days ahead will be hard but your memory of a wonderful person, in your heart forever will get you through it.

  20. Michael SEA Gold

    My deepest condolences for your immense loss. Words are a poor form to express how I and most of your readers feel today, while we only knew her through you and your travels with her that you shared, she seemed like a wonderful mother and grandmother. Please do not feel like you have let anyone down because you chose family, it was and will always be the right choice.

    In the coming days and...

    My deepest condolences for your immense loss. Words are a poor form to express how I and most of your readers feel today, while we only knew her through you and your travels with her that you shared, she seemed like a wonderful mother and grandmother. Please do not feel like you have let anyone down because you chose family, it was and will always be the right choice.

    In the coming days and weeks please continue to make the choice to be with family, we will all still be here when you return.

    -Michael SEA

  21. Iowan Guest

    Ben,
    I am deeply sorry for your loss. Cherish her memories. Love Miles and Baba with the same grace she gave you - part of her spirit will live in them through you.

  22. 305 Guest

    So sorry for your loss, Ben. What an amazing tribute and post. Thinking of you during this difficult time.

  23. Anthony Diamond

    A lot of times, we try to compartmentalize and not share personal events, losses, and feelings in "work" or "professional" settings. That's what I have generally done - and it has probably not been good for me, and I am working to change that. Sharing shows vulnerability, makes you relatable, and helps people learn about what you really care about and why you live life.

    Thanks for posting, Ben. Sorry for your loss. Looking forward...

    A lot of times, we try to compartmentalize and not share personal events, losses, and feelings in "work" or "professional" settings. That's what I have generally done - and it has probably not been good for me, and I am working to change that. Sharing shows vulnerability, makes you relatable, and helps people learn about what you really care about and why you live life.

    Thanks for posting, Ben. Sorry for your loss. Looking forward to continuing to read and to comment on this excellent blog.

  24. B L Guest

    Thank you for sharing this part of life with us. Prayers and love for you and your family.

  25. speedscu Guest

    I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my father at a young age and even now 25 years later deal with the feelings. I hope you are able to find acceptance and peace, sharing this story is the first part of that journey. I truly feel for you and your family in this time.

  26. JohnnyBoy Guest

    So sorry for your loss.
    QEPD

  27. AndrewP Guest

    Ben,

    Sorry for your loss.

    Having been through something similar I know how hard it is.

    Focus on the good times you had and best wishes to you and your family.

  28. cy Guest

    a beautiful ode to a beautiful lady.

  29. R B Guest

    Condolences!

    I also lost my Mom just 10 years ago, it was very sudden, not sure if it made it easier on me.

    Big hug

  30. Mark Guest

    Ben and Ford, So sorry to hear about your loss. You have my sincere condolences. Thanks for sharing and for emphasizing the priorities in life.

  31. MrChu Guest

    Sorry for your loss. My sincere condolences.

  32. sunviking82 Guest

    I am so sorry for your loss. The pain eases with time, but never goes away but hold on to the happy memories and laugh. . .it's okay to laugh, she would like that. She will be with you always and let you know she is there in her own way. Prayers to your and your family.

  33. Tim Guest

    Ben, what a beautiful piece and I'm so sorry for your loss. While of course we never knew her, I can speak for all readers when I say it feels like we did after such a touching tribute. I'm certain those around you will forgive you for prioritizing her, as they would have done the same. You've inspired me to have a similar outlook on my parents, and I thank you for that. Take all the time you need to heal - we will still be here when you're ready!

  34. Todd Guest

    That was such a beautiful tribute to your mother Ben! Your posts with her over the past several years inspired me to do more trips with my Mom, who turned 81 today. We even had a few nights in Big Sur at the Alila, just like you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, as I know how special she was to you. I know she was so proud of you and that she cherished all...

    That was such a beautiful tribute to your mother Ben! Your posts with her over the past several years inspired me to do more trips with my Mom, who turned 81 today. We even had a few nights in Big Sur at the Alila, just like you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, as I know how special she was to you. I know she was so proud of you and that she cherished all the trips you took with her and the time spent together. Her kindness, humor and selflessness lives on with you, and that is the best legacy one can leave.

  35. Lisa Guest

    I’m so sorry to read this Ben. I have often wondered how she was doing and it was very sad to see this post this morning. She sounds like a wonderful, mother, grandmother and person. May she rest in peace.

  36. itsamoeder Member

    I dropped some tears reading this for sure (one of the) nicest and most important blog posts of yours.

    It highlights the importance of the bottomline, only thing that really matters: spending time with your loved ones.

    Rest in peace, Ben‘s mom!

  37. Calidude Guest

    A beautiful tribute for a wonderful mother. You are never prepared for a loss of a dear one, no matter how you rationalize it. I was content when my father passed because his incredible pain was over. Cancer sucks and sometimes you just want to end the pain. Your children will not have first hand memories of their grandma but this tribute, the pictures, the video clips and the stories you will tell them, will...

    A beautiful tribute for a wonderful mother. You are never prepared for a loss of a dear one, no matter how you rationalize it. I was content when my father passed because his incredible pain was over. Cancer sucks and sometimes you just want to end the pain. Your children will not have first hand memories of their grandma but this tribute, the pictures, the video clips and the stories you will tell them, will bring her spirit and her love to them. Take care of yourself and your family. And don't apologize for using your blog for sharing whatever you feel like sharing - travel related or not.

  38. Win Whitmire Guest

    When our Mom died, I told my youngest brother, "Well, with Dad gone and now Mother gone, we are "orphans". But he countered with, "Yeah, but she and Dad trained the four of us well." The Anglican community has these words of comfort, "Give rest, O Christ, to thy servant with thy saints, where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting.

  39. Phil Guest

    Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.

  40. mjonis Member

    I'm literally crying as I type this. My mother passed in hospice after a long battle with colon cancer. Everything you wrote it so true. My heart goes out to you and your family. It's truly a bittersweet situation. Grieve in your own way (there's no right or wrong).

  41. Bbt Guest

    Sincere condolences. Life is not always fair. Losing a loved one is super tough. Wish you all the strength to get through these tough times.

  42. Jay Guest

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. Having gone through the same thing with my mom, I understand how difficult it was for you.

    Your mom is now in a better place

  43. Bobo Guest

    My condolences to you and your family, and thank you for sharing with us. I only met you once as part of Randy Petersen's Paris OpenSkies weekend when you were a young wide-eyed college kid I think. But your blog is a daily joy for me, and I hope sharing with us will be part of your healing.

  44. Sveaviking Guest

    I'm so sorry for your enermous loss, Ben! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My all your beautiful memories of your mother give you strength through the next year.

  45. Aaron Guest

    Ben, sending you so much love during this difficult time. Beautiful and honest tribute to one of the most sacred bonds we have — our parents. Thank you for the extra reminder to share our love vocally, and to prioritize what truly matters in life. As you try to move forward, remember to give yourself grace. It’ll take time to find your new norm, but with a mom like you described, it sounds like she...

    Ben, sending you so much love during this difficult time. Beautiful and honest tribute to one of the most sacred bonds we have — our parents. Thank you for the extra reminder to share our love vocally, and to prioritize what truly matters in life. As you try to move forward, remember to give yourself grace. It’ll take time to find your new norm, but with a mom like you described, it sounds like she gave you all the tools to live fully for yourself and all the people you love.

  46. globetrotter Guest

    My condolences for your loss. I hope you will pass on the values and principles that your mother instilled in you to your sons. I appreciate that you used this post to encourage your readers to extend empathy to others, who are suffering as domestic and world events are spiraling out of control. It neither takes any effort nor costs anything to be kind and helpful to those in need and sufferings.

  47. Mamad Diamond

    I am very sorry for your loss Ben, my deepest condolences and sympathies to you and your loved ones. I'm happy that she cherished those precious, albeit fleeting, moments with you and your sons. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and may the Lord rest her soul.

  48. Anonymous Guest

    Incredibly sorry for your loss, Ben. You and your family are in my thoughts. While my own mother battles with remission, I’ve decided to take that trip based on your shared perspective about what’s most important in life.

  49. NSS Guest

    My condolences, and may her memory be a blessing. Thank you for this tribute. You all feel like family to me after all these years of reading your content.

  50. GoAmtrak Diamond

    I'm incredibly sorry for your loss, Ben. Your mom was clearly a wonderful human who raised wonderful humans, and I'm grateful we all get to read this super real reflection and fitting tribute. Allow the grief to come up in weird, awful, and funny ways at it often does. And take really good care of yourself even as your role in your family never stops.

  51. Paddywags Guest

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Ben. Your mom was very lucky (no pun intended) to have you for a son.

  52. Carol P Guest

    Glad you made happy memories. We lost my mother to ovarian cancer 32 years ago and my SIL 8 years ago.

  53. FDW Guest

    I’ve always loved any trips you’ve shared with your parents. They’ve always been the most interesting because they show the excitement they have for traveling and it’s a trait you share.

    So sorry for your loss but am thankful she and you had the time together.

  54. gk Guest

    Your mom will always be with your family as a protector from above.

  55. HonzaK Guest

    Thank you for sharing this very sad news, Ben. Please allow us share our deepest condolence. May she rest in peace.

  56. Frances Price Diamond

    Sitting at my computer sobbing for a woman - and her son - I've never met. You write so beautifully about your mom, Ben. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I found your blog around 2013, when I started traveling more - after going through my own ovarian cancer surgery and treatment (blessedly caught early). That was right after my mom died from circulatory issues, after a month in hospice. And I was so grateful...

    Sitting at my computer sobbing for a woman - and her son - I've never met. You write so beautifully about your mom, Ben. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I found your blog around 2013, when I started traveling more - after going through my own ovarian cancer surgery and treatment (blessedly caught early). That was right after my mom died from circulatory issues, after a month in hospice. And I was so grateful she wasn't around to worry about me. That is when I learned to enjoy every day as if it were your last.

  57. Sathvik Guest

    My sincere condolences Ben. I am glad your family got to enjoy so much cherished time with your mom. I think you truly beautifully encapsulated the challenges and struggles of dealing with such an unfortunate situation. I hope you and your mom have some comfort in knowing how many thousands of families across the world (including mine) got to have cherished memories at places all around the world thanks to the tips and tricks from...

    My sincere condolences Ben. I am glad your family got to enjoy so much cherished time with your mom. I think you truly beautifully encapsulated the challenges and struggles of dealing with such an unfortunate situation. I hope you and your mom have some comfort in knowing how many thousands of families across the world (including mine) got to have cherished memories at places all around the world thanks to the tips and tricks from your blog. My thoughts are with you and your family during this time ❤️❤️❤️

  58. ChrisA Guest

    Deeply sorry for your loss. Im sure your mom lived a life full of happiness and no regrets, and being there for her and making her happy were the most wonderful moments of her life

  59. Kevinled Guest

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss Ben.

  60. Art Guest

    My condolences to you and your family. May her memory be a blessing. I'm sure she cherished every moment with you.

    Mourning is super difficult and all I can offer is: give yourself permission to grieve and to take care of yourself.

  61. Nolan S Guest

    Ben, this is the most beautiful tribute to your mother. What an amazing woman. I remember first reading your blog about her diagnosis years ago, and I'm so grateful you've been able to create the memories you have with her. Thank you for this reminder of what truly matters in life. My greatest condolences and sympathy to you.

  62. MAGA Joe Guest

    Blessings to your sweet mother. Thank her for being a wonderful person who shared her son with the rest of the world. Condolences.

  63. Dc Guest

    What a beautiful post. I’ve been reading this blog since my teenage years and always loved reading the posts about your mom. She seemed wonderful.

    My sincerest condolences to you and your loved ones. Sending love.

  64. Andrew H. Guest

    My sincere condolences.

    Losing a parent is never easy.

  65. Todd Diamond

    I'm sorry for your loss, Ben. As so many of us here have lost loved ones to cancer, we know your pain and share in your grief. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  66. Kaleb_With_A_K Diamond

    Very sorry for your loss Ben.

  67. Mike Guest

    What a gracious post Ben. As always.Your mom raised a good son and she was a wonderful mother. May her spirit be blessed. Condolences.

  68. Jose Guest

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Ben.

    Having had a similar experience where Parkinson's robbed my dad of all quality of life in his final years, it will be a difficult time for you, but allow yourself to feel the grief and all of the emotions that may come. Treat yourself with kindness, and know that she'll always live on in your memories.

  69. PJS678 Member

    So sorry for you and your family's loss. We lost my dad in 2020 suddenly and it's never easy. Condolences and may she rest in peace.

  70. Dror Guest

    Feeling your pain Ben, condolences.

  71. Marriott Marty Guest

    May her memory be a blessing. Sorry for your loss.

  72. Nasir Guest

    Very sad to know. My deepest condolences to you and your family. May her soul rest in peace.

  73. Marc Guest

    Her memory will always be a blessing ❤️

  74. Santastico Diamond

    So sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace and I am sure she will keep watching you and your family from up there. Keep the great memories you had with her as those nobody can take from you.

  75. LarryInNYC Diamond

    Although it's little consolation, I'm twice your age (more or less) and would be proud to be able to say I had handled an illness and death as well as you have. From the time you spent with your mother, to the memories you created with her and your children, which will be with you -- and with them, even if in the form of photographs and videos -- for the rest of your lives,...

    Although it's little consolation, I'm twice your age (more or less) and would be proud to be able to say I had handled an illness and death as well as you have. From the time you spent with your mother, to the memories you created with her and your children, which will be with you -- and with them, even if in the form of photographs and videos -- for the rest of your lives, it's hard to imagine how you (and your mother) could have been more intentional about this (inevitable) ordeal.

    You needn't spare a moment's thought for having let anyone here down as (1) you haven't and (2) any responsibility you have to readers is not measured on the same scale as the responsibility you have to your family.

    As a long-time reader I know (and appreciate) the separation you keep between your family life and your public life. However, if you feel it's not inappropriate to share, I would like to know your mother's name and also your older brother's.

  76. Jason Guest

    sincerest condolences for your loss

  77. Duck Ling Guest

    I have no idea how you can find the strength to write something so beautifully touching so soon after her passing, but thank you for sharing something so personal with us.

    I am happy she got to meet both her grandkids and that although she is no longer here, she is also no longer in pain and discomfort.

    May she rest in peace and sending you and your family hugs

  78. Matt the Coffeeman Guest

    I am sorry for your loss - it is difficult to lose a parent. Wishing you and your family peace during the mourning process.

  79. panda Gold

    Very sad to hear this. Her spirit will carry on forever.

  80. iv Member

    Thank you for sharing Ben. Sorry for your family's loss. May her memory be a blessing.

  81. Justin Guest

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. The pain and suffering is gone but now filled with a deep loss. You had an amazing life with her and the memories you both shared, both on and off the road, will be eternal. She was very lucky to have a son like you to treat in her in high esteem with your posts and also with the lavish trips (I always enjoyed reading about your...

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. The pain and suffering is gone but now filled with a deep loss. You had an amazing life with her and the memories you both shared, both on and off the road, will be eternal. She was very lucky to have a son like you to treat in her in high esteem with your posts and also with the lavish trips (I always enjoyed reading about your parents' "round" birthdays) but I imagine with the time spent doing everyday things. Cherish the time you had together and may it bring you solace and peace. All the best to you and yours.

  82. Icarus Guest

    Sending condolences a beautiful post

  83. Matt Guest

    I am sorry to read about this sad news, Ben. I read your beautiful tribute with tears in my eyes. Your mom was an amazing woman who raised a wonderful son. Please accept my condolences. You and your family are in my prayers. May your mother rest in peace

  84. Tal Guest

    Sending you and the entire family my heartfelt condolences. May your mother’s memory be a blessing .

  85. Matt Guest

    I’ve been reading this blog for over ten years. Thanks for having the courage to share. Thinking of you and your family.

  86. Samar Member

    So sorry for your loss Ben, and thank you for sharing your Mom’s story with us. She sure seemed like a great woman (as all Mom’s should be!)

  87. Steven Guest

    I am so sorry for your loss, Ben. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

  88. UnitedEF Guest

    My condolences Ben. I hope you're happy you got to say good bye for a few years I wish I had that chance. My dad passed suddenly on a business trip in Taiwan. I was on a plane that night to see him but when I got there he was already intubated and could not speak. I was able to say a few words and I saw tears from his eyes and that was it....

    My condolences Ben. I hope you're happy you got to say good bye for a few years I wish I had that chance. My dad passed suddenly on a business trip in Taiwan. I was on a plane that night to see him but when I got there he was already intubated and could not speak. I was able to say a few words and I saw tears from his eyes and that was it. He died in the OR while the surgeons tried to help him. I wish I had the time with my dad that you had with your mom. I hope you take comfort in that.

  89. Christian Guest

    Sincere condolences. Having been in a somewhat similar situation around your age I sympathize greatly. May you remember the good times and look back upon them with love and fondness.

  90. Jack H Guest

    So sorry for your loss, Ben. This is a beautiful post - wishing the best for your family.

  91. Santos Guest

    Ben, thanks for sharing this incredibly honest and brave post. Me and my family (to whom I praise your site endlessly) have you and your family in our thoughts today.

    I have been there with my own mother, although it was when I was quite young and that was many years ago. But I remember the pain clearly. Cancer sucks.

    Please continue to share your emotions and feelings openly with your family and...

    Ben, thanks for sharing this incredibly honest and brave post. Me and my family (to whom I praise your site endlessly) have you and your family in our thoughts today.

    I have been there with my own mother, although it was when I was quite young and that was many years ago. But I remember the pain clearly. Cancer sucks.

    Please continue to share your emotions and feelings openly with your family and loved ones. It is just as important for you all to take care of yourselves in this difficult time as it is to honor the wonderful memory of your mom and her life well lived.

    Hang in there. My sincere condolences.

  92. Nelson Diamond

    Hi Ben, I'm so sorry for you all! Wish you all the best. Unfortunately I have been through but it's the only certitude we have once born. Keep your head up mate!!!

  93. Aman Guest

    Sending you and the family a lot of love, Ben. I remember when you first wrote about your mom’s diagnosis and am so grateful that you were able to make these years so special for her. I am sure she is always with you and looking down at you from above.

  94. Dimabe Guest

    Thank you for telling your story. Your mom left a great legacy. You are terrific.

  95. Greg Guest

    Condolences to you and your family and her friends, you have written a wonderful tribute to someone very special

  96. Jonathan Guest

    I’m deeply saddened to hear of your loss. May her memories bring you comfort and strength.

  97. Cedric Guest

    I'm sorry for your loss, Ben. She seems like a great person and mother. My mother-in-law passed away in 2019 due to the same cancer, and it was super rough for my wife. I'm leaving in two weeks with my mom and sister for a week in Florence, primarily because my wife wants me to do what she would have liked to do with her mother. When your life is almost over, you won't remember...

    I'm sorry for your loss, Ben. She seems like a great person and mother. My mother-in-law passed away in 2019 due to the same cancer, and it was super rough for my wife. I'm leaving in two weeks with my mom and sister for a week in Florence, primarily because my wife wants me to do what she would have liked to do with her mother. When your life is almost over, you won't remember that new sofa or kitchen remodel, just the time spent with loved ones. Trips are a great way to set aside daily life and focus on the moment.

  98. Cef Guest

    Thanks for the well thought, sincere and heartfelt post. My condolences to you, and a big hug from the heart.
    I will keep you and her in my prayers.

  99. Trevor Guest

    Very sorry for your loss Ben. Thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

  100. VP Guest

    Hello Lucky,

    Have been following your blog regularly for 10+ years though have never commented before. Just wanted to post my condolences for your loss. Your touching post bought a tear to my eye. In my case, I lost my mum suddenly in an accident so didn't even get time to say good bye to her. Your mum's qualities are really admirable and so is your dedication to your passion in running this blog. Wish...

    Hello Lucky,

    Have been following your blog regularly for 10+ years though have never commented before. Just wanted to post my condolences for your loss. Your touching post bought a tear to my eye. In my case, I lost my mum suddenly in an accident so didn't even get time to say good bye to her. Your mum's qualities are really admirable and so is your dedication to your passion in running this blog. Wish you all the best for the future and I am sure you will only come out stronger from the experience.

  101. Steve K Guest

    Perhaps your best blog. Straight from the heart.
    Sorry for your loss Ben. May your Mother rest in peace, in First Class.

  102. Carol Brennan Guest

    My Thoughts and Prayers are coming ❤️ for you all! Just know she'll always be with you each & everyday watching over you! You were Blessed with a Beautiful Mom! Blessings Always ❤️

  103. Marcos Guest

    beautiful words. don't forget how lucky you were, those final years were a true blessing. Stay strong

  104. Ben Guest

    I'm sorry for your loss!

  105. Raulf Guest

    Sorry for your loss. May her RIP.

  106. Enzo Dolan Guest

    A beautiful tribute, your mum is very proud.

    I've been reading your blog on and off for the past 10 years, but I always came back to read your trips with your mum. You helped her live life to the fullest.

    God bless.

  107. BC Guest

    Beautifully written. My sincerest condolences on your loss.

  108. Richard Guest

    Ben sorry for you loss. Your mom and dad raised a fine son who blessed them with a wonderful family and terrific memories.

  109. Shark Guest

    I am so sorry for your loss, Ben.

  110. James Thalmann Guest

    Ben:

    Sorry to hear of this news today.
    Best ahead to you, Ford, and family.

    James
    Salt Lake City, Utah

  111. Mike Guest

    I'm so sorry your loss, Ben.

    1. Mike Guest

      I'm so sorry for your loss, Ben*

  112. Steve Guest

    Condolences on the passing of your mom. I also lost my mom to ovarian cancer and it was rough. It sounds like she was an amazing woman and it’s great that she was still around to meet and love on her grandkids.

  113. Lisa Guest

    What a beautiful tribute to your mom and what memories you made together! Thinking of you Ben - it’s so hard to lose a parent.

    1. Kneemuh Member

      A beautiful tribute indeed. So sorry for your loss, Ben.

  114. Ian Guest

    What a beautiful thing to read, Ben. Wishing you comfort in your grief and the loving embrace of her memory. With love from a huge community that loves you.

  115. Kenneth Massalone Guest

    What a beautiful post, I hope I can honor my mother the same way someday

  116. David Guest

    Deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 24. Even now, 40 years later, I still miss her. I know how you feel.

    It will get better over time, and she will always be alive in your memories.

  117. Elisabeth Guest

    so sorry for your loss
    Very well written, that can be very therapeutic and no need to apologise for that!
    I can imagine it is all very raw now, but you will learn to live with the grief. Day by day, step by step.
    Take care!

  118. Syd Guest

    Very sad to hear this, Ben. Very sorry for your loss. Can't imagine what you're going through and what it took you to write this. Stay strong! Warmest wishes to you and your family. She's smiling at you.

  119. betterbub Diamond

    What a wonderful mother she was to raise such a great son. Thank you, Mom!

  120. Kelly s Guest

    First let me say I am sorry for your loss. I have been battling ovarian cancer since 2015 and it’s been very hard. My son was 11 when I was diagnosed. I know his whole life has been impacted by the highs and lows of this disease.

    Travel has been my therapy. That’s what gets me through. My son has taken so many trips with me. Just last fall we took a trip to...

    First let me say I am sorry for your loss. I have been battling ovarian cancer since 2015 and it’s been very hard. My son was 11 when I was diagnosed. I know his whole life has been impacted by the highs and lows of this disease.

    Travel has been my therapy. That’s what gets me through. My son has taken so many trips with me. Just last fall we took a trip to London and Paris just the 2 of us. He recently graduated aviation school as a mechanic and moved away for a job. It broke my heart for him to leave when I am on the downward slide but I am proud of him for making his own way in life.

    I am sure your mom was so proud of everything you have done and was so blessed to experience all she has. Cherish those memories you have of her.

  121. DT Diamond

    Heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss.

    I’m sure she and your brother are sitting in row 1 on the Concorde with a Champagne toast!

  122. Ethan Guest

    So sorry for your loss, Ben. Know there is only love coming from this community, and thank you for sharing your story throughout what I’m sure has been (and continues to be) an emotional journey.

  123. Dan Guest

    My deepest condolences, and a wonderful tribute to a clearly wonderful woman.

  124. Mike Guest

    Can't even begin to express my sorrow for your life. Your Mom sounded like an incredible person, and it probably meant everything how hard you tried to be there for her.

  125. Daniel Mason Guest

    I am very sorry to hear Ben. Hugs to you and your family

  126. hbilbao Diamond

    @Ben, I'm truly very sorry about your mom's passing. You'll find comfort little by little. Your beautiful memories of the time she was able to spend with you and your family will guide you throughout the next chapter in your life.

  127. at Guest

    Dear Ben,

    I am so sorry to hear of this. I send you the utmost of condolences. Your mom was lucky to have a son like you, and it seems the converse was true as well.
    Take good care of yourself and your family.

  128. Nathan Guest

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  129. Alvin | YTHK Diamond

    Keep well, Ben – praying for you and family.

  130. Brian Guest

    What a wonderful tribute and thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss and my sympathy to you and your family.

  131. bako Guest

    Sorry for your loss , be strong

  132. Chris Guest

    I wanted to share my deepest condolences with you. As someone who also lost a parent to cancer far too early, I deeply empathize with you. I know your mom was incredibly proud of the incredible blog you have made, and I just wanted to let you know it has had a truly life-changing impact on so many of us. I hope you take time to step back, take care of yourself, and remember your...

    I wanted to share my deepest condolences with you. As someone who also lost a parent to cancer far too early, I deeply empathize with you. I know your mom was incredibly proud of the incredible blog you have made, and I just wanted to let you know it has had a truly life-changing impact on so many of us. I hope you take time to step back, take care of yourself, and remember your mom. It will be hard, but I hope as time goes on, you will smile when you think of your mom.

  133. Chris Guest

    Ben, our condolences and thanks for sharing. Losing a loved one is difficult but glad she is now at peace.

  134. DavidW Guest

    What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman. As you now know, all a parent really wants is for their child(ren) to be loved, happy, healthy, and comfortable. You have done all that and more. No doubt she was proud of you.

    You will pay it forward to your boys as it should be.

    Hang in there.

    1. at Guest

      So well said, DavidW.
      Agree 500%.

  135. kay_elemeno Member

    Ben, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your love for your mom was clear in your writing and I've loved following the ways you use your points & miles and passion for travel to brighten the lives of your parents and your loved ones. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sending lots of warm thoughts your way.

  136. McCaron Guest

    Sorry for your loss.
    From a son's perspective, I realize that the best we have to offer to our parents is these unforgettable moments with their grandchildren.
    I recently talked to my dad and he told me that being a dad was a different role than being a grandfather.
    I hope your mom spent a happy life as your mom and an even happier end of life surrounded by her grand children.
    May she rest in peace.

  137. Northern Flyer Guest

    I’m very sorry for your loss but am heartened to see you looking for bright signs amid the sadness. My mother died at 51 of breast cancer and missed out on seeing her sons get married and becoming parents.

  138. TL Guest

    May her memory be a blessing. I am truly sorry for your loss. Sending great love to you all.

  139. JB Guest

    Ben, I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace, and may your family also find comfort in the fact that you got to spend so much time with her before she left.

    It is never easy losing a parent, and in my opinion, nothing can compare to that feeling. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  140. MP Guest

    So sorry for your loss. This was an amazing tribute to an incredible person. <3

  141. Chris Guest

    Great story, Ben, and thanks for sharing the personal angle. You have made your mother proud, I'm certain. Be well.

  142. KATA Gold

    My deepest condolences Ben, I am genuinely so sorry for your loss.

  143. Dave Guest

    Ben, I am sorry for your loss. I lost one of my parent to cancer. You know the day is coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier or make you prepare for.

  144. Up Up & Away Gold

    So sorry to read of your mom's passing Ben.

  145. Frank Guest

    You were a wonderful son. As someone who lost their mum similarly, I understand and I am so sorry for your loss.

  146. HT Guest

    Ben, I am so sorry for your loss. All of us here know how much you love her, and we're all pretty clear that she is an incredible person. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  147. Stoppy New Member

    My condolences Ben

Featured Comments Most helpful comments ( as chosen by the OMAAT community ).

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Matt Guest

I’ve been reading this blog for over ten years. Thanks for having the courage to share. Thinking of you and your family.

2
UnitedEF Guest

My condolences Ben. I hope you're happy you got to say good bye for a few years I wish I had that chance. My dad passed suddenly on a business trip in Taiwan. I was on a plane that night to see him but when I got there he was already intubated and could not speak. I was able to say a few words and I saw tears from his eyes and that was it. He died in the OR while the surgeons tried to help him. I wish I had the time with my dad that you had with your mom. I hope you take comfort in that.

2
Dimabe Guest

Thank you for telling your story. Your mom left a great legacy. You are terrific.

2
Meet Ben Schlappig, OMAAT Founder
5,527,136 Miles Traveled

39,914,500 Words Written

42,354 Posts Published