Worst. Emirates flight. Ever.

Worst. Emirates flight. Ever.

67

Good morning from Dubai, where it’s approaching 4AM after two redeyes in a row!

I’ve had an absolutely stupendous week, and was quite looking forward to my Emirates flight tonight from Singapore. As I always say I very rarely drink. At home I never drink, and if I’m flying I may have a glass or two of champagne, but that’s the extent of it.

I took a slightly different approach last night, as I decided it would be fun to drink a bit too much. I figure there aren’t many experiences in life not worth having at least once, and being tipsy on a plane is one of them. I had my flight all figured out. I was going to board, have dinner, watch a movie, shower, and then maybe nap for an hour or two, and at that point hopefully be in Dubai.

The reality was a bit different. I was doing the return portion of this trip with a friend, and apparently he’s a bad influence, because I was talked into doing shots in the lounge. Three shots of tequila with salt and lemon to be exact. I’m a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, so aside from the utter trashiness of licking your fingers and putting salt on them, it sure got my evening off to a giggly start.

Once aboard the fun continued, as the crew was quite liberal with refills, and in the first hour of the flight I had a few more glasses of Dom. I was feeling great. How out of it was I? I forgot to photograph the pre-departure Dom, which I think says a lot.

Then I had water with dinner to get back into a more normal state. After dinner I decided to head to the aft business class bar, where the flight attendants sure were liberal with refills. I had three shots of Patron XO Cafe, and then two shots of Hennessy Paradis. In the meantime the purser made an appearance and asked whether I wanted turndown service. Sure, why not?

So I headed back to my suite figuring I’d lay down for a few minutes, given that there were several hours left in the flight in which I could shower. Next thing I know I hear the “cabin crew, prepare for landing” announcement.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I failed myself and I failed you guys. I’m. So. Sorry.

I feel as guilty as this dog:

And this dog:

…combined!

Then again I learned my lesson. Never drink again on a plane. Ever. Or you may miss a shower.

Tomorrow I’m headed to London and will be sure to spend double as long in the shower spa to make up for my failures today.

I’ll be announcing the winner of the giveaway first thing in the morning.

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  1. Dawn New Member

    I love reading your reviews. This was so funny. Made me giggle. My whole goal is to be on this plane to experience the shower and enjoy this type of travel.

  2. Lsed Guest

    Few months back I did SEA - FRA (FCT) - MUC (5 hours at Oktoberfest) - SIN

    Drank from SEA all the way to Oktoberfest, puked before the fight to SIN, worst hangover + jet lag in my life. Lasted 3 days!
    Luckily I was in F from MUC - SIN!

  3. Andrew Gold

    I don't think the solution is to never drink on a flight again. It's to not drink like a 12 year old girl who's never drank before.

  4. deltaplat Guest

    If I were on a flight like that, I would have drank at least that much. Otherwise, you are missing out! Drink more next time and you might have some really good stories!

  5. oleg Guest

    Sounds like a great flight. Alcohol tolerance comes with practice - don't be constrained by your diet Pepsi picture, have fun.

  6. Ryan E Guest

    Get your tolerance built up and you'll be fine next time!

  7. Ed Guest

    Lol.

    Thats not lightweight. Once I had two cups of red wine (one as a PDB, the other was before dinner). I immediately got drunk... So much that the plane started spinning! I asked the FA for an entire bottle of water and she understood. That was so embarrassing!

  8. The Montane Vole Guest

    A few more experiences like this and you'll even be ready for your second Guinness!!

  9. Whiskarina Guest

    I think the problem is here --> "As I always say I very rarely drink."... you need to start drinking more and then when you take a flight such as this you will be more experienced. HA!

  10. Lively Guest

    I don't mean to laugh at your misfortune...but that was one funny adventure! I hope you get to suds it up in the sky soon and make a trip report about it.

  11. TXJacket Guest

    I need a travel partner like that! No apologies necessary!

  12. chitownflyer Guest

    Lucky, you need to have one glass of water for every glass or portion of alcohol; otherwise, you get dehydrated. When you go to the LH First Class Terminal again, do try some grappa from the bar. Kirsch is also good when in LH F as an after meal drink.

  13. YVR604Miler Guest

    Ben, don't even deny it ;) You HAD fun altitude cruisey boozey on this flight with your friend! com'on, we're only young once! ;)

    i do it every flight that is not a work flight to a meeting right after i get off the plane.

  14. David Guest

    @Brian - Exactly. A recent LX F flight from ZRH to YUL involved a good 4 or 5 glasses of Laurent Perrier Grand Siecle followed by some wine then the dessert wine, vintage grappa and cognac. Heavy drinking in F is nothing new. The only difference here is that Lucky is a lightweight. I'd say he just needs some more training.

  15. Cedarglen Member

    Hilarious, you young fellow. It happens to even the most careful, but no worries. as you well know, the medical and physiology experts say that alcohol in the high altitude/dry environment is a bad thing. In my humble experience, flying since the late 50s and drinking since the late 60s I find that ONE cocktail early in a flight is pleasant. It is is a very long flight, perhaps a little wine with a good...

    Hilarious, you young fellow. It happens to even the most careful, but no worries. as you well know, the medical and physiology experts say that alcohol in the high altitude/dry environment is a bad thing. In my humble experience, flying since the late 50s and drinking since the late 60s I find that ONE cocktail early in a flight is pleasant. It is is a very long flight, perhaps a little wine with a good meal. Beyond that I just don't go, simply because the price paid in after effects is far higher than I'm willing to pay. You've learned an important lesson, one valuable for a very frequent flyer. There is great merit in Diet Coke (lime or lemon as available). My personal favorite is whatever plain fizzy water is available, and as cold as possible. I pour it in to combat the dehydration and yes, attention to the fresh glass is appreciated. Enjoy your pre-departure or pre-meal glass of DOM, keep it to one or two and you will survive/thrive in your miserable occupation. A great post, Ben and a valuable lesson to all.

  16. Brian Guest

    It's like reading about a 14 year old who discovered his parents liquor cabinet and decided to experiment.
    You act like you're the first person to ever drink to much on a flight.

  17. wwk5d Guest

    It's a little hard to feel sorry for someone whose biggest problem is he got too drunk in the first class lounge and in first class and ended up missing the chance to shower in first class. We should all have those problems ;)

    #theeptiomeoffirstworldproblems

  18. Sean M. Diamond

    How much compensation did they offer you for this?

  19. RT Guest

    sounds like fun and nice to see you let loose :)

  20. Dan Guest

    Coins,

    I was taught to lick my wrists and pour the tequila on that...

    And I remember the times that I used to work midnights in LA and I was a Platinum on NW:

    1) If I took an early flight (usually around 8am), I'd get funny looks from other passengers in the lounge for hitting the bar at 8am, and:

    2) If I were on a redeye, I wouldn't sleep ('cause I worked midnights)...

    Coins,

    I was taught to lick my wrists and pour the tequila on that...

    And I remember the times that I used to work midnights in LA and I was a Platinum on NW:

    1) If I took an early flight (usually around 8am), I'd get funny looks from other passengers in the lounge for hitting the bar at 8am, and:

    2) If I were on a redeye, I wouldn't sleep ('cause I worked midnights) I'd keep the F flight attendant working because I would drink all night :) I'b be the only one in F awake at night.

  21. Beachfan Diamond

    You can never claim to be a lightweight again (unless you didn't keep it down and didn't tell us)

  22. Teck Guest

    The gist of it is that you enjoyed yourself Lucky! Nice! ;)

  23. Mile Bucket Guest

    Love it!!! You gotta tie one on every now and then. I told my husband if he threw up in the FCT I would divorce him (totally kidding, but I would have been embarrassed) after he drank too much on the way over. Anyways, at least you didn't decide to have a dance party at the same time at the airplane bar. Or did you.... :)

  24. Randy Guest

    So did you have your Tequila moment or not?

  25. Stuart Falk Member

    I wouldn't have been able to resist the Hennessy Paradis (which I only drank once) and am not aware of any other airline that serves it, either onboard or in the First Class lounge. Sante!

  26. Jim Guest

    The videos you often add to emphasize your experiences are great! I'm probably more amazed that you know where to come up with these than the actual flights/stays themselves.

  27. Yucci Guest

    Enjoy your flight and don't worry about anything else!!! Missing the shower is probably the only bad thing!! Otherwise this sounds like a normal fun flight!!

  28. David Guest

    Do us a favor and leave the YOLO-ing to JRL next time. We need inflight wi-fi tweets.

  29. Darren Guest

    I think we need to all chip in to buy you one of these for next time:

    http://www.drinkwel.com/buy.html#kit

  30. Despina Guest

    Oh no! Last time I did tequila shots was back in college. I still feel ill just thinking about it. As others have said, you only live once. :)

  31. FlyingDoctorWu Guest

    those look like glasses of Tequila, not shots.....

  32. Lucky Guest

    @jetway: I am a blast to travel with!
    @viguera: LOL
    @Eager Traveler: Cheers!
    @Cindy B: I was Wasted!!!!

  33. Tracy T. Guest

    Who drinks tequila with lemon?!? Get the lemon with your diet coke, and the lime with the tequila! I don't know as much about mile/points as you, but I can offer advice about tequila shots. ;)

  34. Cindy B Guest

    We were wondering why no Tweets from you!
    I think I guessed it in my Facebook post to you, except I said Champagne and a nap, not tequila and a nap!
    Sounds like you really had fun, and that's the most important thing!
    And it sounds like the perfect flight to me, even if you did miss the shower!

  35. Eager Traveler Guest

    Me... I always try to drink 'em dry of their champers. Haven't succeeded yet. Glad you were able to let your hair down and enjoy! Cheers!

  36. viguera Guest

    Oh the perils of first class travel... LOL

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/ru9h6w5h589pnmm/drink-meme.png

  37. BRC Guest

    We'll forgive you. I'm glad you've experienced getting drunk while you're still young, and it's not like you had to land the plane after partying. But if you aren't hungover in the morning, maybe your friend didn't get you trashed enough. ;-)

  38. JetAway Guest

    We all know what Emirates is like by now. This was much more interesting. And it finally sounds like you would be fun to travel with.

  39. tom New Member

    Are you sure that no one would shower with you, or maybe you just can't remember who the other person was??? In any case, maybe I better reduce my guess to 14, in case you can't remember past that...

  40. scott p garanflo Guest

    stop.the.valley.speak

    Lucky, this is looking like an ad campaign

  41. hulagrrl210 Guest

    I got so drunk on a UA flight NRT-BKK once I thought the plane was rolling when I put my seat back to take a nap. I was so embarassed that someone would notice me having to hold on to the seat backs to even walk through the aisle to get to the bathroom. I'd been drinking jack and cokes while watching a movie and the sneaky flight attendants kept topping off my drink...I must have had 6 or 7 without any dinner and I was absolutely trashed.

  42. BothofUs2 Guest

    Effect of alcohol stronger at altitude. You only live once, and as a reader I dont feel let down. If you had a good time is what matters. Like someone else commented, drink lots of water to get hydrated again. Take care!

  43. Kevin Guest

    Reminds me of this video :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09iC4thagSU

  44. Justin Guest

    Typo: you may have meant Best. Emirates flight. Ever. :]

  45. stef Guest

    Tequila is not your friend. Now, my friend, Maker's Mark is your friend ... or it seemed to be at the Chicago Seminars. Take care!

  46. David Guest

    It's funny because that sounds close to the best EK flight ever.

  47. Amol (@PointsToPointB) Member

    By the way, I did 1.5 Bottles of Dom on the HKG-BKK flight, and could have done more if I hadn't spent time in the shower spa -- life is too short not to enjoy it!

  48. Daniel Guest

    Someday you'll look back and laugh....someday, lol.

  49. HoKo Guest

    Haha, this was hilarious. I thought you were gonna say something outrageous like you threw up in the shower or ended up like this guy: http://tinyurl.com/adkteo5

  50. jackson Guest

    Sounds like best emirates flight ever if you look at it with cup half full perspective. Time flies when were having fun they always say.

  51. Amol (@PointsToPointB) Member

    No animal noises like that SQ flight last year? :p

  52. Ken Guest

    I missed my BA dinner on there 1st class after downed 1/2 bottle of blue label in the cabana. But the scotch was good. Liquid dinner is better

  53. Darrell New Member

    I think i should win, I said you would loose track because you would drink too much lol

  54. k2o Guest

    Didn't sound that bad, at least you didn't get sick!

  55. lucky OMAAT

    @ David -- Whoops, if that was my biggest error in the post I'd say it's a miracle. Fixed, thanks!

  56. A. S. Guest

    How's the hangover? :)

  57. Carl Guest

    Jeez, i am surprised you did not throw up with that much alcohol and the mixture of spirits and champagne. I suggest you drink a lot of water today and on your next segments.

  58. PatMike Guest

    At least you got to shower on the last flight ...

  59. Bob Guest

    No worries, Ben. We're only human!

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Dawn New Member

I love reading your reviews. This was so funny. Made me giggle. My whole goal is to be on this plane to experience the shower and enjoy this type of travel.

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Hong Kong Airline News Guest

@ Amol - Singapore Suites. Get drunk with Janesis and pull her into the double bed with ya Lucky!

0
Lsed Guest

Few months back I did SEA - FRA (FCT) - MUC (5 hours at Oktoberfest) - SIN Drank from SEA all the way to Oktoberfest, puked before the fight to SIN, worst hangover + jet lag in my life. Lasted 3 days! Luckily I was in F from MUC - SIN!

0
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