Airplane Deplaning Etiquette Quandary: To Stay Seated, Or Not To Stay Seated

There are a lot of hotly contested airplane etiquette topics out there, ranging from who controls the window shades, to whether reclining your seat is a right or privilege, to when it’s appropriate to swap seats with others, to standing up as soon as the plane arrives at the gate. I have strong opinions on most of these topics, though here’s one where I never know what to do.

This is minor in the grand scheme of things, but I’m still curious how others handle this situation.

“Please stay seated to allow those with connections…”

Have you ever been on a flight that’s running behind schedule, and either shortly before landing or just after landing, the flight attendant announces something along the lines of:

“I’m going to ask you for a favor. We have some passengers making tight connections, and we would really appreciate if you could stay seated after the seatbelt sign goes off to allow these people to deplane first. We know you’d appreciate that same courtesy if you were in their shoes.”

Sometimes they’ll ask the passengers making tight connections to ring their call buttons so they can be identified, sometimes they’ll give a specific time range for what they consider to be a tight connection, and sometimes they’ll just let people decide for themselves what constitutes a short connection.

On the surface this is a nice and logical gesture. If me sitting on the plane for a little extra time means someone will make it home to see their family, or make it on a well deserved vacation, I’m all for it. But I’m becoming jaded when it comes to this, and I’m curious how others feel.

Should you stay seated when the plane arrives at the gate?

The problem is that most people don’t actually listen

The biggest problem with these announcements is that almost no one listens. So in those situations where I stay seated, I find that I’m basically the last person off the plane.

I had a flight once where we were over 40 minutes late, and one flight attendant recommended to the other flight attendant that they make such an announcement. Her response was “I’ve been doing it for 20 years, and I’ve never seen anyone listen,” yet she still made the announcement.

The fact that virtually no one listens is only one of the things that has made me jaded about this over the years. The other problems include that:

  • People can’t be trusted to self-identify — often the people thinking their connections are really short actually don’t have short connections at all (they just don’t travel often, misread the boarding time as the departure time, etc.), or they already missed their connections, so have no chance of getting on that flight
  • People book stupid connections, and airlines are at fault for creating a system that encourages this — airlines rely so heavily on banked hubs and unrealistic minimum connection times; people probably shouldn’t have booked a 45-minute connection in Dallas to begin with, but it’s not really their fault when the airline displays those convenient-looking options so prominently
  • There’s also a herd mentality element to this, so once some people stop listening, everyone seems to stop listening

So, how do I handle these deplaning requests?

How do I handle these situations? I try to be courteous, which is to say that if the crew specifically identifies a few people, or if some people push forward, I’ll of course let them off first. But I’m done being among the only people who listens.

It makes me feel bad to do that, but I also feel like there’s no point. Personally I think airlines need to do a better job managing these situations, rather than relying on passengers to step in and help. In other words, we’re supposed to do our part to help people make their connections, while gate agents close the door 10 minutes early on those people because those are the metrics they’re rewarded on.

I’m happy to see that airlines like United are increasingly holding connections for late arriving passengers, using a straightforward and transparent system that factors in a variety of considerations.

United does a great job holding connecting flights when it makes sense

Bottom line

When flights are running late, it’s common for flight attendants to request that most passengers stay seated, so that those with tight connections can maximize their odds of not misconnecting. While this is well intentioned, the issue is that a vast majority of people don’t listen. So if you do listen, you basically end up being the last person off the plane, even if you’re seated toward the front.

Where do you stand on this — when flight attendants ask people to stay seated, do you listen? Do you appreciate when flight attendants do this?

Conversations (59)
The comments on this page have not been provided, reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any advertiser, and it is not an advertiser's responsibility to ensure posts and/or questions are answered.
Comment as a member

Membership is free and takes no more information than commenting as a guest. Earn status points for good contributions, and see fewer ads as your status grows.

Type your response here.

If you'd like to participate in the discussion, please adhere to our commenting guidelines. Anyone can comment, and your email address will not be published. Register to save your unique username and earn special OMAAT reputation perks!

  1. Loading comments…
Recent Comments
The latest from the OMAAT community.

The comments on this page have not been provided, reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any advertiser, and it is not an advertiser's responsibility to ensure posts and/or questions are answered.

Bent Guest

I have no idea how many times I’ve waited for these people to disembark, only not to appear. After some time I will disembark, as I’m not waiting for Godot. There might be good reasons, perhaps a middle seat towards the back, a family with small kids, some tiktoker busy creating content or maybe they didn’t hear, understand or thought it hopeless.

0
‼ 0
AD Diamond

I think that many (most) people are willing to wait, but unless the pax who have tight connections are identified, there's no way to know when they're all off. Great work by the FAs who make that clear! We need more of that. I work very hard not to book tight connections, but I'm fine with waiting for those who do.

1
‼ 0
avid Guest

I was on a flight into Anchorage that had been delayed. The young woman next to me was getting nervous and crying. She said her husband was going to deploy out of Fairbanks and she was on her way to see him before he went. I told the flight attendant. Alaska held the ANC to Farirbanks flight then when we landed asked everyone to stay seated untilo she deplaned and made her connection to see her husband. We all did and as she left the plane it erupted in applause! We deplaned with a warm glow into a cold winter night.

2
‼ 0
Jojo Guest

The real question is why don’t we board and deboard using both doors?? I’ve seen the future, it’s the past, dual boarding and deplaning. Shouts out to frontier for revisiting. I hope they buy spirit and improve their logistics, will become a real player then.

0
‼ 0
Jack S. Guest

I was on LAX-PHL on AA last week. We had a plane swap and left about 90 minutes late. The FA made an announcement asking those with tight connections to raise their hands, then asked everyone to wait until they deplaned. Other than a couple FC passengers who didn't wait, the rest of us stayed seated (we were in the bulkhead, so I could see them get off). I'd say about two dozen people deplaned and it took less than five minutes. Most looked grateful, relieved, and still somewhat harried. I was happy to wait.

1
‼ 0

Save posts to read later

Saving posts is a member feature. Become an OMAAT member to build a reading list you can come back to from any device.

Become a member
Meet Ben Schlappig, OMAAT Founder
5,883,136 Miles Traveled

43,914,800 Words Written

47,187 Posts Published