Bad Club Lounge Etiquette — At What Point Do You Say Something?

@Tony C I appreciate the comment. What I would say to all the civilians without military service is that I actually have more faith in "all" our military members in this situation and if you respectfully let them know you are uncomfortable because of their language they will respond in a positive way. I say this "only" because this is a club not a dive bar where I do think the response could be quite different. I remember being on a plane a few years back where a troop "in uniform" was obviously intoxicated and spewing venom into the aisles of the plane as he off boarded........it took a simple "soldier, what unit are you in" and he became stone cold sober and courteous instantly........some military will disagree with this approach and some civilians will disagree with this approach but I have a lot of faith in our troops and if challenged to do the "right thing" I believe the odds on compliance are extremely high...........

Oh man. Like the military folks above, had I been there, I most certainly would have gone the direct route and addressed the group. It helps that I'm in a drill sgt unit. Justsaying- I see where you're coming from sir, and I agree with its sentiment. A stern "Who's the highest ranking here? Come with me, let's have a chat," will do wonders, I am certain. But the vast majority of travelers in lounges will not be current or former military, and may not be comfortable dealing with a group of inebriated service members. In those cases, the offended civilian should bring the property manager to address the misbehaving individuals. It reduces risk and liabilty to all parties, and will almost always lead to a quieter situation. Travel safe everyone. -TC

@James What unit are you in that gives you this impression?

@Janet It potentially would be demeaning if said to a female, and possibly even sexual harassment depending on context. It likely would not be homophobic. Trying to demean a person by suggesting that person have sex with a member of the same gender, thus implying that doing so is wrong or makes them weak or contemptible, is homophobic. By the way, your form of argument is highly disingenuous, and a classic internet type of argument. There is nothing in my posts to suggest at all what I would have said if I had understood Ben to be saying the corporal was female. I simply said that what was reportedly said was homophobic and unacceptable. The suggestion that a similar comment made to a different person might also be offensive is both nonresponsive to what I said and also does nothing to change the fact that what was said was homophobic.

@Larry is barking up the wrong tree. Are you saying that his comment would be less offensive if the CO was a female? Those comments are offensive whether you are male or female, it has nothing to do with homophobia. @Lucky - I wouldn't really pay attention to their military status, I would confront them (or not) as if they were any other businessmen or leisure travelers in the lounge. If that meant a direct confrontation, I might throw in some polite conversation about where they are stationed/traveling as an icebreaker and to let them know you recognize them as US military - it might put them on notice/remind them that they are representing their country. @david22 - Definitely, I would have said something immediately to the parent of the sneezing child, and notified the lounge attendant which food trays need to be replaced.