Hello from Turkmenistan! Well, okay, hello from India… you thought you were going to get Wi-Fi at Ashgabat Airport? Lol. I am downright giddy, as I just fulfilled an avgeek dream I’ve had for years, which is to fly with Turkmenistan Airlines! Specifically, I flew the carrier’s ex-Cathay Pacific Boeing 777-300ER on the 4hr35min flight from Frankfurt (FRA) to Ashgabat (ASB).
My conclusion? I demand my money back (even though I paid “just” $1,000 for my full fare one-way business class ticket from Frankfurt to Delhi)! The flight was way too normal for my liking. I was expecting to be reporting back from a prison in Turkmenistan, awaiting deportation to North Korea, ideally on an Air Koryo codeshare flight (okay, I’m kidding, before anyone yells at me).
Instead, I had a rather pleasant, drama-free flight, and it was only mildly strange… I even got tucked in when it was time to sleep, due to my own awkwardness. Heck, I took dozens and dozens of pictures, and no one yelled at me. This isn’t what I signed up for!!!
In this post:
Why I’ve been obsessed with flying Turkmenistan Airlines
Most people (at least those who aren’t regular OMAAT readers) are probably thinking “WTF, you flew what airline to where?” Everyone needs hobbies in life, and one of my hobbies is flying very strange airlines, at least from a US or Western-centric perspective. Tajikitan’s Somon Air, or Uzbekistan Airways? Yes please, I’ll take seconds!
However, arguably Turkmenistan Airlines is one of the most mysterious airlines in the world, and for years I’ve been talking about how I want to fly the airline. That largely comes down to the country, Turkmenistan. Side note — it’s a very rich country, with the world’s fourth largest natural gas reserves (even if you wouldn’t know about the wealth based on how individuals live).
More interestingly, though, it’s also one of the world’s most secretive countries. I’ve heard it described as the North Korea of the “stans,” in terms of travel restrictions, censorship, etc. For example, you can only visit the country as a tourist if you hire a guide.
So I’ve been curious to fly with the airline. The carrier operates a limited network to Europe, Southeast Asia, the Middle East, and within Central Asia. I’ve largely heard that the carrier’s flights are mostly empty, and the primary motivation for the network is to move cargo. I’ve also heard that the onboard experience is just bizarre, that no pictures are allowed, and that Ashgabat Airport is a ghost town, with essentially a 1:1 ratio between passengers and guards.
So, how was my Turkmenistan Airlines business class flight?
I’m going to keep this section brief, so that there’s still a little “meat” to the full flight review, which I’ll publish soon.
To say that I was excited when I saw the Turkmenistan Airlines Boeing 777-300ER at the gate in Frankfurt would be an understatement.
This was actually an ex-Cathay Pacific plane, with interiors almost entirely unchanged. There were 40 business class seats… and two other passengers.
Well, and then there was the dude with the big hat who stood in front of the plane while it was on the ground in Frankfurt, who also flew in business class (but then put on a baseball cap onboard).
The inflight entertainment was riveting… if you want to read the inflight magazine, where just about every page is about the country’s president.
When it comes to the seat back entertainment, there were a very limited number of TV shows, yet somehow an interview with Dr. Fauci on “the politicization of public health, the threats he faced during Covid, and his concerns over a divided America” made it into the selection. Yeah, you know, your typical entertainment option alongside “The Big Bang Theory.”
Turkmenistan Airlines gets A+ for its drink presentation!
The airline also gets an A+ for its schedule padding. I was amazed looking at the flight history for the Frankfurt to Ashgabat route, and seeing how it consistently arrives on-time or ahead of schedule. That’s when I realized that it’s because they pad their schedules to the point of oblivion, with a 4hr35min flight being blocked at 6hr. Watch out, Delta, Turkmenistan Airlines is the real “on-time machine!”
The meal service was surprisingly extensive. There was a dinner after takeoff, and I opted for the short rib with potatoes, which came with a side of cold cuts, a salad, and some cheese. The flight attendant generously let me peer at the menu for 30 seconds before making a selection.
There was then a dessert, consisting of a cheesecake tart, and a mini Mars bar, and I ordered a cup of tea to go along with it.
I managed to get in a little snooze. I almost got caught taking pictures, as I stood over my seat with my phone, trying to take a picture of the bed. As the flight attendant walked up to me, I tried to come up with the best excuse I could — “I can’t figure out how to use the blanket” — what the hell was I thinking? Well, it worked out, because the flight attendant then said “I will show you,” and then… tucked me in. Talk about a Singapore Airlines first class level of service!
About 90 minutes after the first meal service, I was offered a pre-landing snack, with a sandwich and yogurt. By the way, I’m really confused by what the meat is here, and in the above picture, given that Turkmenistan is an overwhelmingly Muslim country? Is this… not pork? I tried to ask, but that got lost in translation.
Also, the forward lavatory sure was a lovely throwback to Cathay Pacific first class! Ah… good times! Remember when you could consistently book it for 67,500 AAdvantage miles, and there were often multiple award seats?
Also, is that… just a tin of NIVEA? Is everyone just supposed to stick their finger in there and moisturize… or?
Anything going on in this region I should know about?
Anyway, that’s all for now. While the flight was calmer than expected, fortunately the airport lived up to everything I hoped for!
Bottom line
Sometimes dreams really do come true… and for me that was flying Turkmenistan Airlines business class! I’ve been fascinated by the airline for years, given… well, everything.
Honestly, the entire experience was better and more anticlimactic than I was expecting, and that’s probably a good thing. I had an oddly pleasant flight, and being one of three people in a 40-seat business class cabin in the peak of summer is something you won’t find on many airlines. It was also sort of a fun trip down memory lane to fly on a former Cathay Pacific jet.
I wish I could come up with a Josh Cahill style narrative here about how I was scammed, or about how it was the worst flight ever… but well, I’ll leave that to him.
As predicted. Nothing good nothing bad.
“I can’t figure out how to use the blanket” is my new favorite Lucky quote.
It is a truly unusual and beautiful country. I was told my Internet would be monitored and I did have a government guide. Not to be missed is the eternally burning gas pit in the desert along with the absolutely worst highway ever. All buildings in the capital are covered in white marble and all the cars are white.
Agreed. All the Stans (bar Afghanistan, which we didn’t visit) are well worth a visit. Like the DPRK, you just have to follow the rules and accept that you’ll be watched the whole time you’re in the country. If your head is so up your own ass that you can’t deal with those conditions, then by all means take another trip to Hawaii or fkn Cabo.
Lovely blog. Love how you ended by calling out Josh Cahill there, kudos to you
Hi Ben, Greeting from the Emerald Isle.Been into Turkmenistan 3 times in the last 2 years and flew with the Airline domestically.It was the last One of the stans on my list , and I loved.Really tricky getting a visa , but was worth it.Once you repsect the rules the people are amazing and there is no place on the planet like it on so many fronts.
Flew out of Turkmenbashi and Mary airports...
Hi Ben, Greeting from the Emerald Isle.Been into Turkmenistan 3 times in the last 2 years and flew with the Airline domestically.It was the last One of the stans on my list , and I loved.Really tricky getting a visa , but was worth it.Once you repsect the rules the people are amazing and there is no place on the planet like it on so many fronts.
Flew out of Turkmenbashi and Mary airports to the capital, and on one trip the guide said me I could leave my bag unattended at the gate and grab a coffee. Gave the baristta a small tip and he didnt undertstand what this concept was about. Came back , there was no secuirty alert and it was still there.Not too may places left in the world you can do that nowadays .
Take the next step and go into the country, you will not disappointed.
stop trying to import tip culture around the world, its bad enough in the United States
I immediately recognized the Turkmenistan aircraft in the air here around Frankfurt a couple of days ago.
In summer I often have access to a rooftop in Niederrad. I can‘t resist and play a little game with my friends guessing airlines.
Ben:
- "For example, you can only visit the country as a tourist if you have a guide with you at all times" - this is untrue, you can visit with a transit visa without a guide (and most tourists actually do that)
- I'm not terribly surprised to see pork, I'd say Turkmenistan is probably the less muslim country of the Stans
What a lark! Clipper Tea, Mars Bar German yoghurt, how surprisingly normal. I'd love to know the logic of flying empty planes when you could actually try and sell the seats to budget conscious travellers from Europe to Asia but hey, they know best!
It’s not true that you need a guide with you at all times. You do typically need a guided tour in order to get a visit, but especially in Ashgabat you are free to explore on your own. I had an extra day after my tour and it was no problem walking around and exploring Ashgabat. Other than strict instructions not to photograph government buildings, and the lack of internet access, Turkmenistan was surprisingly relaxed as a tourist.
@ Ryan -- Thanks for the correction! Updated the post to fix that.
These are the trips and reviews that make suffering through the daily Tim Dunn soap opera worth it. This is Ben going back to his roots. Can’t wait for the full trip report!
@ Andrew -- Hah, thank you! :-)
I enjoyed your trip report and it brought back memories of my time as an American diplomat stationed in Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. We flew Turkmenistan Airlines several times. Most of our flights were to Bangkok, Thailand. We flew economy and the flights were always packed. Almost all of the passengers were transiting Ashgabat coming from Russia (St. Petersburg or Moscow) as the price was lower than the competition. Service and food were acceptable but clearly reflected...
I enjoyed your trip report and it brought back memories of my time as an American diplomat stationed in Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. We flew Turkmenistan Airlines several times. Most of our flights were to Bangkok, Thailand. We flew economy and the flights were always packed. Almost all of the passengers were transiting Ashgabat coming from Russia (St. Petersburg or Moscow) as the price was lower than the competition. Service and food were acceptable but clearly reflected Turkmen culture.
Glad they helped you out on figuring how to work a blanket.
Were you supposed to put yogurt on your salad, or mustard or ketchup? Perhaps all three?
@ Christian -- I have SO MANY QUESTIONS as well. And when it comes to things on the meal tray, wait until you see the next flight...
Not sure what everyone was expecting. The airline industry for the most part conforms to a basic standard, regardless origin. Some are better and some are worse - that’s the only difference. The media on board certainly gives a glimpse into the country’s political stance. By this logic, I expect a gun fight and casualties on every flight on a US carrier, just because gun culture is synonymous with the USA.
Such a cool experience! I’m very envious.
"Turkmenistan is an overwhelmingly Muslim country? Is this… not pork? I tried to ask, but that got lost in translation."
Some of the ex-Soviet "Muslim" countries are Muslim-in-name-only. See Azerbaijan.
I flew in their 737-700 and 717 on domestic routes about 10 years ago. While was a unique experience - especially the large picture of the president on the bulkhead, it was by far the most “normal” part of my trip to Turkmenistan.
There was a massive Sofitel in down Ashgabat where I stayed (it is no longer part of Accor now I believe). The hotel was absolutely gorgeous but also completely empty, and...
I flew in their 737-700 and 717 on domestic routes about 10 years ago. While was a unique experience - especially the large picture of the president on the bulkhead, it was by far the most “normal” part of my trip to Turkmenistan.
There was a massive Sofitel in down Ashgabat where I stayed (it is no longer part of Accor now I believe). The hotel was absolutely gorgeous but also completely empty, and full of wat looked like Soviet espions walking around. A very weird but fascinating experience.
I actually loled at "I can't figure out how to use the blanket"
BOOOOOO GIVE US MORE DRAMA!
Just kidding glad you had a nice flight
Ben, can you share a bit about how you ticketed Turkmenistan? One of the interesting quirks about booking on this airline is the difficulty to actually pay and confirm an e-ticket. Insights appreciated!
@ keitherson -- In the past it was super complicated, but they've made it easier over time. The fare even showed on Google Flights, and that directed me to Turkmenistan Airlines' website. You just have to make sure you select that you're not a resident of Turkmenistan, and that you want an international ticket, and then it's a pretty straightforward process.
Just don't expect that you're going to be able to select seats, check-in online, etc.
I believe the fly somewhere in UK and it’s the cheapest way to go from India to the UK
We flew Turkmenistan Airlines way back in 2008 when we toured Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan - which we dubbed the Absurdistans at the time. Actually Air Turkmenistan had a 737 operated by Lufthansa and it was quite good. The country itself was ruled by the self acclaimed "Turkmenbashi The Great" - as imbecilic as any politician today.
Did you take a train ride too?! I still remember that train ride in Uzbekistan with the thumbs up and thumbs down along with the invite, hah!
Tiny Handed Timmy D now will look up the Turkmenistan CXL rate relative to DL and brag how inferior your new totally fave airline is, and that your suites didn’t even have doors
@ Mike O. -- Hahaha, you have good memory!
I openly guffaw-ed while reading this post; definitely of the more entertaining trip reports, though I know it was only a preview.
I'm curious if Ford was just slightly worried about our Ben possibly ending up in a Turkmen prison.
@ SS Vaterland (the ship) -- Hah, he actually downloaded Flightradar24 for the first time, just to track my flights.
You come across as a sarcastic nerd in this article, which is very unlike you.
There’s a ton of sarcastic nerds out there making jokes about everything and everyone. I think you are better than that.
Chill. This post was entertaining to read and most people could feel his excitement through his written words.
That short rib looks exquisite ;)
Thanks
Just as I predicted - it's a very "normal" airline and totally unremarkable (in a good way, from a "normal" person's perspective lol). The people who compare Turkmenistan to North Korea have not traveled there. I was able to walk all around Ashgabat on my own and had a great time interacting with locals. It's certainly a bizarre place for a number of reasons and you absolutely need to be careful with what you photograph...
Just as I predicted - it's a very "normal" airline and totally unremarkable (in a good way, from a "normal" person's perspective lol). The people who compare Turkmenistan to North Korea have not traveled there. I was able to walk all around Ashgabat on my own and had a great time interacting with locals. It's certainly a bizarre place for a number of reasons and you absolutely need to be careful with what you photograph etc, but I'm very glad I visited. The history is incredible.
You know, I was thinking... “WTF, you flew what airline to where?” Glad it worked out for you!
And, woah, random Fauci and Josh Cahill references, as well as shade-throwing ("Watch out, Delta, Turkmenistan Airlines is the real “on-time machine!”) and some av/points-geek nostalgia ("Cathay Pacific first class...when you could consistently book it for 67,500 AAdvantage miles") This review has EVERYTHING!
How about 70,000 Alaska miles to fly Chicago to Hong Kong in first class and then a stopover in hk and onwards in biz to Sydney (there was no first class cabin to Australia). Those were the days.
I did this with my two young kids and it was so much fun. Having lunch at the seat etc. the old blocked off single aisle for the three of us.
Wowza!! And a healthy visit to The Wing while at HKG, one presumes.
Mick- I remember flying that deal JFK-HKG-DXB and JNB. Great times!
I couldn’t believe I found three seats. Was amazing.