I swear I’m not trying to be crass here, as I’m the last person who wants to discuss bathroom activities, or enjoys bathroom humor. Heck, I’m kind of horrified to be writing this. However, I feel like it’s a public service that someone’s gotta do…
It’s not uncommon to find an aircraft lavatory that might not objectively be considered clean. However, every once in a while you walk into a lavatory that looks like a swampy crime scene, and which makes you wonder if you would’ve been better off staying at home.
In the case of an EgyptAir flight a couple of days ago, I was waiting to use the forward lavatory. I heard the flushing noise, and then a second later one of the other business class passengers walked out. I don’t even want to talk about what I witnessed upon walking into the lavatory, but I just couldn’t look at the guy the same way again.
Was he aware of what the inside of the toilet bowl looked like, and he just didn’t care? Would he be happy if roles were reversed? And did he even wash his hands, based on the fact that the lavatory door opened a second after I heard the flush? Bleh…
We should treat airplane lavatories with respect
Admittedly some people find many aspects of the travel experience to be quite unpleasant. However, if you ask me, having to use aircraft lavatories is among the worst aspects of it, especially on airlines where crews aren’t responsible for refreshing them during the flight.
The topic of going number two aside, I think we should all effort to leave aircraft lavatories no worse off than we found them:
- If your aim isn’t good and you “miss,” take some toilet paper and clean up after yourself
- Flush after you go to the bathroom (which sounds obvious, but…)
- If toilet paper falls on the floor, pick it up and throw it away
- Wipe down the sink area if water sprays anywhere
- Do yourself a favor, and don’t go into the lavatory barefoot or with socks, because odds are that it’s not water on the ground
I will say that I think the varying airline policies on crews keeping lavatories clean is a highly underrated differentiator between carriers, especially in premium cabins. For example, if you’re flying the Emirates A380 in first class (where there’s a shower suite) or first class on a Japanese airline, the lavatory is basically fully refreshed after each use.
Compare that to US airlines, where the crews aren’t responsible for cleaning lavatories, and they can be disgusting at the end of a long haul flight.
How to go number two on an airplane with dignity
Okay, now let’s get to the main topic of this post. I don’t think anyone enjoys going number two on a plane, but if you’re going to, there are some basic ways to minimize the impact it has on other passengers. I think those are worth addressing, because in some cases there are some tips people maybe don’t consider.
Now, personally I have a strong preference for simply not using the lavatory on planes if there’s any way at all to avoid it, but that’s just my own bias.
Time your lavatory visit
If you’re going to take a while, there’s a strategy to when you should use the lavatory. Don’t go right after takeoff, right after the meal service, or right before landing, when everyone else wants to go.
The best time to go is right as the crew starts their service, since a cart will be blocking the aisle, and passengers will be looking forward to the service. Furthermore, during that time the flight attendants won’t be in the galley “observing.”
Alternatively, on a long haul flight, wait until the service has concluded for around 30 minutes, once everyone is settling in to relax.
Use the best lavatory
This is for your own convenience, rather than the convenience of others. Airplane lavatories keep getting smaller and smaller, though this isn’t true across the board.
Typically there’s at least one larger lavatory on most planes, if not more. Do what you can to find it.
Furthermore, assuming you’re on a bigger plane with several lavatories, go to one that’s in the same area as others. That way if a line forms, everyone won’t be waiting for you.
How to minimize the smell in the lavatory
You’ll sometimes see crews put coffee bags in the lavatories, which are intended to minimize odors. I’ve seen some suggest that you should ask a crew for a coffee bag before going into the lav. Personally asking that sounds sort of horrifying to me. But there are ways you can minimize the smell:
- Flush as soon as you “go,” and then again a couple of moments later — there’s no shame in frequent flushing as long as you leave a clean and pleasant smelling lavatory
- When you’re done, use a lot of soap when you wash your hands — airlines typically have foaming soap, and you’d be surprised by how much of a difference it can make in terms of the smell
- Bring a toiletries bag into the lavatory as if you’re brushing your teeth, and worst case scenario, spray some perfume or cologne; don’t go all Bath & Body Works on the place, but a spray or two will go a long way (sometimes the airlines even have a mist in the lavatory)
How to leave the lavatory spotless
Most airplane lavatories use suction technology, so a spotless toilet bowl may be tougher to achieve than elsewhere, since the suction does a better job with liquids than solids. With that in mind:
- Before you “go,” take one of the disposable toilet seat covers that’s in the lavatory, and “line” the inside of the toilet bowl with it (or alternatively use toilet paper); this works wonders, and you’ll thank me later… or maybe the person who uses the bathroom after you will
- If there are any “marks” or toilet paper sticking to the side of the bowl, take a mouthwash cup, fill it with water, and pour it over whatever you’re trying to remove; adding a bit of water will make it all go down much easier when you flush again
- Depending on how self conscious you are, just take a paper towel and wipe the inside of the bowl as needed; it’s not like there’s water, and you should be able to avoid direct contact completely (besides, it gives you another opportunity to soap up your hands, further improving the smell of the environment)
- Then of course wipe down the sink area, etc.
By the time all is said and done, the lavatory should look more spotless than when you entered it.
Bottom line
Airplane lavatories have to be one of the less pleasant aspects of flying, as they’re among the dirtiest bathrooms that many of us are “forced” to use. As a result, I think it’s important that we try to be considerate of one another, and clean up after ourselves to the best of our abilities.
In some cases it’s pretty clear that people just don’t care about the state they leave a lavatory in, while in other cases I think people just don’t know better. Hopefully at least some people find the above tips to be useful.
Where do you stand on airplane bathroom etiquette?
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