Earlier I wrote about a bizarre situation on a SWISS flight, where two passengers decided to join the mile high club in the first class galley. That was bad enough, but what was even worse is that the pilots saw it happening in the cockpit, decided to film it, and then distributed video footage of it.
I found the comments section on the post to be quite interesting, and it made me realize that there might be some misconceptions about joining the mile high club, the risks, the frequency with which it happens, etc.
So let’s talk about that a bit in this post. Honestly, it brings me no joy to write about this, but I think it’s a useful topic to discuss. My opinion here is based primarily on what I’ve heard from several flight attendant friends, working for a variety of airlines across the globe.
In this post:
What is the mile high club?
Okay, I suspect most OMAAT readers know what the mile high club is. So, ummm, maybe this is actually intended for my dad, who sent me the below message after my post earlier today.
The mile high club refers to having sex onboard an aircraft during a flight. It doesn’t matter at what altitude the plane is or where in the plane it happens. We can quibble over which exact acts constitute sex, but most people would agree that it has to include (at least) two people. Personally I choose to define this pretty loosely, so I’d consider any sort of sexual contact between people to qualify.
What’s the best way to join the mile high club?
Let me emphasize that I’m not endorsing the concept of joining the mile high club. I’m just acknowledging the reality that this happens frequently, and want to talk a bit about the lowest risk ways to do so, if you decide that it’s something you’re going to do.
I’m also not a believer in abstinence-only education, so I think the same thing applies here. People are going to do what they’re going to do, so let’s make it as low risk and unpleasant as possible for everyone involved.
I think there’s a common misconception that flight attendants love to bust people joining the mile high club. They don’t. At a minimum, it’s awkward for them, and at worst, it’s extra paperwork for them. So if you do join the mile high club, you’ll want to do so in a way where the crew isn’t forced to care.
Under no circumstance join the mile high club in any sort of a “public” area, and/or with any private parts in the open. In other words, maintain some level of plausible deniability, where you’re not directly putting yourself in a situation where other people are forced to see what you’re doing.
For example, the people who decided to join the mile high club in the galley of a SWISS 777 were being completely irresponsible, as anyone could’ve walked in on them at any moment, including a child. That’s a massive no-no, and puts others in a potentially uncomfortable situation.
If you’re going to join the mile high club, the best place to do so is in a lavatory, where you have some privacy. That’s especially true if you’re traveling in economy. Now, airplane lavatories are disgusting, and I can’t think of a less arousing place to get it on, but that’s the safest bet.
You’re also going to want to be strategic about which lavatory you use. Ideally you’ll want to be as far as possible from where flight attendant jump seats are, and in an area with multiple lavatories in one “cluster.” This is much easier on wide body jets than narrow body jets.
For example, Lufthansa’s “cargo hold” bathrooms on the A340-600 don’t have any flight attendant jump seats and there are several lavatories, so I’d say that’s probably the lowest risk place one could do that.
What about in first and business class? Well, the Emirates A380 shower suite is perhaps the world’s most famous airplane bathroom, and it even has a sign indicating that the maximum occupancy is two. The flight attendant manual explains that a second passenger is only allowed if the primary passenger requires assistance, though it isn’t defined beyond that, so…
How about at the seat? If you’re flying in Air France La Premiere, you have floor-to-ceiling curtains, and the crew isn’t just going to disturb you in the middle of the flight for no reason, assuming the seat belt sign doesn’t suddenly turn on.
Other premium cabin products with doors are riskier, of course, since the doors typically don’t extend all the way to the ceiling. Now, if there’s a double bed situation and bedding, then I suppose it’s hard to prove anything.
But the key is that you don’t want to do anything in the open, and you want plausible deniability.
How risky is it to join the mile high club?
If you do get caught joining the mile high club — or are suspect of trying to join the mile high club — what happens? It might not be as bad as you think, based on the crew members I’ve spoken to. Let me emphasize two points:
- You should absolutely assume that you could be punished for your actions, and plan accordingly
- You should consider the airline and route you’re flying; there’s a big difference between trying to join the mile high club on a Saudia flight from Riyadh to Jeddah, and trying to join the mile high club on a Ryanair flight from Ibiza to Dublin
If you find a way to privately join the mile high club, odds are that the worst that’s going to happen is that the crew tells you to knock it off. You absolutely don’t want to disobey crew instructions, so you should do what they say.
The point at which you’re really going to get yourself in trouble is if you’re doing something in public, like these idiots were in the SWISS 777 first class galley. At that point it’s possible (and even likely) that a report would be written, authorities would be called, etc.
I should also mention that since the start of the pandemic, we’ve increasingly seen some airlines use no-fly lists, which generally apply exclusively to passengers on that airline (these are separate from government no-fly lists). I suppose that if you’re suspected of joining the mile high club you may be put on one of those lists, so it’s at least a risk worth being aware of.
Bottom line
I recommend not joining the mile high club. But if you are going to join the mile high club, do so either in the lavatory, or in a place where you’re not in any way exposing yourself publicly. This minimizes the risk of getting caught, and at least gives you the ability to try to deny that something happened.
While it very much varies by airline and you should plan for the worst, you’d probably be surprised by how often the crew simply tells people to knock it off.
To both passengers and flight attendants, any thoughts or (PG) experiences to share regarding the mile high club?
Back in the 90's flying from IST to DXB on SQ the front lavatory was huge with room for a wheelchair and clean as a whistle since SQ. Got a bit giggly so finally convinced better half it would be fun. Until we noticed that our boss was sitting right by the lavatory and saw us.
Sigh.
Never a chance again.
Once again, bloggers ruin it for the rest of us by sharing all the secrets. Is there nothing sacred anymore?
Yet to see Male on Male! Not that i am intrested to see it!
There's a service in Vegas where you can charter a plane for like 1000 or whatever for a few hours, exclusively for this purpose
Who needs a few hours??? Once you've reached cruising altitude, I'd have thought 10 minutes would suffice.
How embarrassing are you? Obviously you never joined the club. “Any type of sexual contact” qualifies? Really? Do you really live in Miami?
My first was 1974 on a DC-6 Mackey Int’l flight in forward lavatory on the flight from Miami to Grand Turk. She was working the flight and I was an employee along for the ride. Totally unplanned.
"If you’re flying in Air France La Premiere, you have floor-to-ceiling curtains, and the crew isn’t just going to disturb you in the middle of the flight for no reason..."
Some of them actually do - they don't disturb, but they do check on you.
I've been on a couple of overnight flights where the f/a would pop her/his head in just to make sure I didn't need anything; lights were out in the suite and it was nighttime.
YMMV.
You missed out the easiest solution - just fly private :-)
There is nothing quite like the sensation of having a Global 6000 cabin for yourself and the misses :D
I could write blueprints of American 787s and 777s. I’d say in the middle of an overnight long haul flight the accessible lavatory (extra room and a mirror ) near the mid section of the business class cabin. Even though there’s a galley ; two in the case of the 77W that FAs curtain off and break in one. Even though there are FA seats located there in flight most will either be in the front galley , rear galley , or crew rest area. Hehe lol smh
Do not do it, punishment can be pretty severe: for example, those people on Swiss 777 were rebooked on United codeshare for their return trip
LOLLLLLLLLLLL that should qualify as cruel and unusual punishment!
Construction site Port-a-John club, Burger King bathroom club. Lots of clubs to join.
DUDE ! LOL !
So if youre United Global Services you'll want to do this on a Delta plane. Put that in the article.
While I see you noted that altitude doesn’t matter, I’ve always wondered why it’s called mile high club when cruising altitude for most commercial jets is more in the 5-7 mile range.
entertaining but not likely to change anyone's mind, esp. in the heat of the moment.
Here's a tip - when you're on an airplane, keep it in your pants.
I find myself somewhat amused asking this, but figure you might know given your Emirates flight attendant friends and you don't actually say - is it even against policy in the A380 shower suites or is it actually permissible from the airline's perspective?
It a “wink & nod” arrangement
What if it's between crew members?!
https://campaignbrief.com/cockpit-oral-sex-scandal-threa/
https://www.straight.com/blogra/oral-sex-causes-cathay-pacific-reconsider-marketing-message
Best article you’ve ever written. Likely ever will write. I hope you don’t take this down, but I understand if you have business considerations
"...the crew tells you to knock it off..."
Well, that could be interpreted a couple of different ways...
Come again?
Pause
What percent of this blog’s readers are virgins?
Off the top of my head Dcs, TravelinWilly, Tim Dunn…
I’d never join this club because my time in it would not be billable.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the other person's time definitely would be billable for them to agree to join it with you...
Two points
1. As to your comment “ can’t think of a less arousing place to get it on,”. How about the bathrooms in DC’s Union Station Never been sure how that repuglican Senator did it there
2. so no solo members??? Darn ;-)
@Lucky. You left out the most important part: what did you reply to your Dad??? Or you just asked him to read this post? :-)))
Having sex in an airplane lav, which likely is dirty beyond belief. One word for that person: loser.
British airways 351 lav 3L can be made to a disabled toilet if both are in. That’s very easy and no one would notice. Even crew do it in there
Any other toilets / aircraft / airlines where you can combine a lav?
@ Micha -- The two center business class lavatories on the A380 (in the rear) can also be combined into one from inside. No experience joining the mile high club there, but just something I picked up on...
emirates gamechanger has full floor to ceiling doors
And cameras on 24/7 so that the FAs can monitor passengers for service.
Etihad's Residence seems like more of a sure thing...
Ben didn’t come out and say he hasn’t joined it….you know what that means :)
What a boring article…
I swear the only time that my home airport of IBZ ever gets mentioned on the blog are in these kinds of posts (ie mile high club, drunken arrests etc)
@ Willmo -- Hah, my apologies! I do hope to visit Ibiza soon, for what it's worth (not to party, but to relax... I think that's also a thing there?)
Funny, when I saw the article I immediately thought of the lavatories in the LH A346s as well! The first one to the right, right after you descend the stairs is particularly large as well! Like bigger than the J lav, maybe 1.5-2x the size!
@Ben, aren't there cameras in suites that have floor to ceiling walls or curtains? Don't flight attendants have to be able to see you via a camera if there isn't a direct line of sight from the aisle?
@ Sonofdad -- There are definitely not cameras in the suites. Keep in mind the doors and curtains are open for takeoff and landing, and when there's turbulence, the crew is supposed to come around and check on people.
Now, to be clear, there are cameras on some planes (like at the back of Emirates' A380 first class), but they're definitely not inside the fully enclosed suites.
The cameras are not in the suites, but on the bulkhead or ceiling. The direct view requirement by FAA requires the FAs in jump seats to be able to see the "heads" of minimum 50% of the passengers.
Not all suites require a camera when the FAs in seated position can see the heads of 50% of the passengers. Normally, suites with 48" or lower furniture height meet the direct view requirement without a...
The cameras are not in the suites, but on the bulkhead or ceiling. The direct view requirement by FAA requires the FAs in jump seats to be able to see the "heads" of minimum 50% of the passengers.
Not all suites require a camera when the FAs in seated position can see the heads of 50% of the passengers. Normally, suites with 48" or lower furniture height meet the direct view requirement without a camera, however, when the suites exceed that height, a camera will be needed.
The cameras are something like this: https://ad-aero.com/by-aircraft/boeing-b777-direct-view/#:~:text=B777%3A%20VIP%20Passenger%20Cabin%20Surveillance%20%E2%80%9CDirect%20View%E2%80%9D&text=The%20system%20is%20used%20as,Taxi%2C%20Take%20Off%20and%20Landing.
And these cameras are quite common.. They're also installed on Jetblue's new Mint cabin and Iberia's A321XLR business class. Thompson Vantage Solo seats in these cabins wouldn't exceed 48" furniture height, however, since the passengers' heads are away from the aisle, a camera's needed to let the FA see them.
Suddenly I don't want to fly La Premiere anymore. Taking that one off the bucket list.
Or stay in a hotel?
If the seatbelt sign were to illuminate while a couple is copulating, are they legally required to experiment with a little light bondage?
I guess I have to ask this - are you a club member, Ben?
What a crass and invasive question!
The answer is in Rolling Stone, presuming hand to gland combat qualifies.
If you read the Rolling Stones article about him, you would know the answer.
In a post, many years ago, Ben said he had an "encounter of a sexual nature" with a flight attendant on the plane. That was BEFORE he met his husband.
@Ben; if I misspoke then I apologize and feel free to remove my comment.
Gee - is everyone in the club single without children? Or are the participants always married to one another? Stats? ;-}
The million mile question. Some of us aren’t subscribers to Rolling Stone, but are interested in knowing. Word to the wise, though: be mindful of how one might ask or answer about this
Ben’s married and has a kid. Also let’s not forget his dad apparently reads his blog