A longtime OMAAT reader who asked to remain anonymous shared an interesting story with me. I have my own thoughts on this, and I’d be curious to hear how others feel…
Four Seasons spa offers happy ending massage
A frequent Four Seasons guest who has stayed at 20+ of the brand’s properties shares an experience with me, which caught him off guard. Specifically, while getting a massage at the spa of an unnamed Four Seasons in Asia, he was offered a happy ending:
Not to get into any grimy details, but she pointed at my, yeah, and said the price is [converts to $88]. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, I said “I had no cash,” in which she responded you can add it to the tip part of the bill. I was honestly, shocked. Truly. That’s around the same price as the massage, so the front desk must be in on it.
Look, I get that it happens in many places in the world, but I was shocked to see it happen at a Four Seasons. I reached out to the manager (personal email) and the hotel, but never heard a response. Shocking, especially as I had stayed there eight times in the past nine months before.
Yowzers. In 2017, I wrote about one of my weirdest hotel experiences, at the Le Meridien Xiamen, where my friend and I got spa treatments in separate rooms, and both (rather aggressively) experienced “hard selling” of off-menu services.
How common are these happy ending offers at nice hotels?
Real talk, this discussion raises two questions — how common is it to be offered a happy ending at a luxury hotel spa, and on top of that, is it highly inappropriate, or just part of offering anticipatory service? Let’s discuss those two points separately…
Regarding the first point, it seems that norms around happy ending massages in “luxury” environments differ significantly around the globe. In some parts of Asia, it’s my understanding that this is considered to be totally normal, especially among local clientele, even in a “legitimate” spa. It’s a different story in the United States, which isn’t to say that it doesn’t happen in high-end environments, but at least I imagine it’s not as common.
I suppose hotel spas fall into one of three categories when it comes to happy endings — some offer them proactively, some will offer them when asked, and some will refuse if asked. For hotels that fall into the first or second category, I can’t help but be curious about how high up the chain people are aware of this?
For example, in the above situation, if you’re told to tip the same price as the spa treatment for the happy ending, then one has to assume that the front desk is in on it. How high does it go? Just the person working at the front desk at the spa? The spa manager? The hotel general manger?
My take here might be controversial, but let me explain. Personally, I have zero interest in such a massage, but I actually don’t have an issues with these being offered, as long as the masseuses aren’t pushy, and as long as it’s a market where that’s considered pretty normal.
What frustrates me is when they spend a significant amount of time clearly wanting you to want “it,” only to not accept “no” as an answer. A massage at a luxury hotel shouldn’t feel like a basic economy fare, where you’re aggressively upsold on something else.
I suppose the irony with massage menu add-ons is that generally luxury hotels pride themselves in never saying “no” to a guest, and always finding a way to say “yes.” Yet this is one of those areas where people almost scoff at the thought of them taking care of guests.
Conversely, I think it’s also important to point out that it’s not fair to sexualize masseuses or their work. It’s one thing if a masseuse proactively offers, but a masseuse who doesn’t want to offer such service shouldn’t be put in that uncomfortable situation either, since that’s not the core of their profession. So all of the above is specific to when the masseuse is the one who initiates.
Anyway, I’m realizing this is all rather complex, and I’m not sure hotels can really win here, one way or another.
Bottom line
Expectations of spa treatments differ around the world. In some parts of the world, the concept of being offered a happy ending with a massage in a nice environment is unheard of, while in other parts of the world, it might be considered part of a relaxing spa experience.
It’s interesting that even at the top end of the hotel market, this seems to be a fairly common occurrence, even if it catches people off guard.
Where do you stand on massage add-ons at luxury hotels? Is it never acceptable, is it okay if they’re not pushy, is it okay even if they are pushy, or what? 😉
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