A longtime OMAAT reader who asked to remain anonymous shared an interesting story with me. I have my own thoughts on this, and I’d be curious to hear how others feel…
In this post:
Four Seasons spa offers happy ending massage
A frequent Four Seasons guest who has stayed at 20+ of the brand’s properties shares an experience with me, which caught him off guard. Specifically, while getting a massage at the spa of an unnamed Four Seasons in Asia, he was offered a happy ending:
Not to get into any grimy details, but she pointed at my, yeah, and said the price is [converts to $88]. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, I said “I had no cash,” in which she responded you can add it to the tip part of the bill. I was honestly, shocked. Truly. That’s around the same price as the massage, so the front desk must be in on it.
Look, I get that it happens in many places in the world, but I was shocked to see it happen at a Four Seasons. I reached out to the manager (personal email) and the hotel, but never heard a response. Shocking, especially as I had stayed there eight times in the past nine months before.
Yowzers. In 2017, I wrote about one of my weirdest hotel experiences, at the Le Meridien Xiamen, where my friend and I got spa treatments in separate rooms, and both (rather aggressively) experienced “hard selling” of off-menu services.
How common are these happy ending offers at nice hotels?
Real talk, this discussion raises two questions — how common is it to be offered a happy ending at a luxury hotel spa, and on top of that, is it highly inappropriate, or just part of offering anticipatory service? Let’s discuss those two points separately…
Regarding the first point, it seems that norms around happy ending massages in “luxury” environments differ significantly around the globe. In some parts of Asia, it’s my understanding that this is considered to be totally normal, especially among local clientele, even in a “legitimate” spa. It’s a different story in the United States, which isn’t to say that it doesn’t happen in high-end environments, but at least I imagine it’s not as common.
I suppose hotel spas fall into one of three categories when it comes to happy endings — some offer them proactively, some will offer them when asked, and some will refuse if asked. For hotels that fall into the first or second category, I can’t help but be curious about how high up the chain people are aware of this?
For example, in the above situation, if you’re told to tip the same price as the spa treatment for the happy ending, then one has to assume that the front desk is in on it. How high does it go? Just the person working at the front desk at the spa? The spa manager? The hotel general manger?
My take here might be controversial, but let me explain. Personally, I have zero interest in such a massage, but I actually don’t have an issues with these being offered, as long as the masseuses aren’t pushy, and as long as it’s a market where that’s considered pretty normal.
What frustrates me is when they spend a significant amount of time clearly wanting you to want “it,” only to not accept “no” as an answer. A massage at a luxury hotel shouldn’t feel like a basic economy fare, where you’re aggressively upsold on something else.
I suppose the irony with massage menu add-ons is that generally luxury hotels pride themselves in never saying “no” to a guest, and always finding a way to say “yes.” Yet this is one of those areas where people almost scoff at the thought of them taking care of guests.
Conversely, I think it’s also important to point out that it’s not fair to sexualize masseuses or their work. It’s one thing if a masseuse proactively offers, but a masseuse who doesn’t want to offer such service shouldn’t be put in that uncomfortable situation either, since that’s not the core of their profession. So all of the above is specific to when the masseuse is the one who initiates.
Anyway, I’m realizing this is all rather complex, and I’m not sure hotels can really win here, one way or another.
Bottom line
Expectations of spa treatments differ around the world. In some parts of the world, the concept of being offered a happy ending with a massage in a nice environment is unheard of, while in other parts of the world, it might be considered part of a relaxing spa experience.
It’s interesting that even at the top end of the hotel market, this seems to be a fairly common occurrence, even if it catches people off guard.
Where do you stand on massage add-ons at luxury hotels? Is it never acceptable, is it okay if they’re not pushy, is it okay even if they are pushy, or what? 😉
It's perfectly acceptable to avail oneself of the services of a masseuse.... or a masseur.
Don't be such a twat, PeteAU
$88 for a happy ending is for chumps, you can get full service for that price at massage parlors in a certain unnamed Asian country
What country? Without knowing that, there's no context
I have been a professional Massage Therapist in the U.S. for over 20 years, while I do not provide happy endings, sex work is not going anywhere. I wish the United States would make sex work legal so we can separate the two. I have been propositioned many times in my career and many men do not like to take no for an answer. It's very uncomfortable to be asked and it's even more uncomfortable...
I have been a professional Massage Therapist in the U.S. for over 20 years, while I do not provide happy endings, sex work is not going anywhere. I wish the United States would make sex work legal so we can separate the two. I have been propositioned many times in my career and many men do not like to take no for an answer. It's very uncomfortable to be asked and it's even more uncomfortable to have to tell them to get out because they don't behave. Imagine being asked for sexual favors at your work. But if both consenting adults agree to it who cares.
Exactly .
Likely Thailand
TBH, I would be pissed if this happened. I’ve travelled a lot in Asia, I know this is a thing, but I’ve specifically used high-end hotel spas to avoid this being, er, sprung on me 3/4 of the way through the massage. I have infinitely more respect for the many establishments that I’ve been to that have different menu items for those who want “extra,” so it is clear from the beginning what I’m interested in.
The real happy ending is being able to earn points on the erotic massage (not at FS obviously).
I know this is common in many parts of the world but it’s totally inappropriate at a four seasons and unacceptable that the manager didn’t respond. I’d report the hotel to the police at this point. Not because it was offered but because the manager is choosing to ignore it.
I agree with Ben. I'd never take on such offer but why would I care about it being offered as long as my (first) no is accepted?
There’s more to this story than what I shared for everyone’s sake of mind (plus I am guessing kids read this blog as well). Let’s just say, even after saying I had no cash, and then saying no and then saying “no, terima kasih”, she continued to keep placing hands in certain areas (and not just that area) and saying “are you sure”. Multiple times until I got up and left.
That’s the PG...
There’s more to this story than what I shared for everyone’s sake of mind (plus I am guessing kids read this blog as well). Let’s just say, even after saying I had no cash, and then saying no and then saying “no, terima kasih”, she continued to keep placing hands in certain areas (and not just that area) and saying “are you sure”. Multiple times until I got up and left.
That’s the PG version of what happened. Having lived in Asia for a long time now, it’s a common practice, but at a four seasons is unacceptable.
The way you're framing it, this isn't about the service being available and/or proactively offered. The behaviour sounds like sexual harassment which in many jurisdictions would have criminal repercussions.
Sounds like you have a pretty sensible approach overall.
I was at a high-end resort in Mexico (Cabo) last year and this happened to me. My wife and I scheduled a couples massage, and when we showed up they said they could host us in separate rooms, and we obliged. And then halfway during the massage the masseuse whispered in my ear and offered me a happy ending for an upgrade. To be completely honest, I was pretty shocked to have this happen at...
I was at a high-end resort in Mexico (Cabo) last year and this happened to me. My wife and I scheduled a couples massage, and when we showed up they said they could host us in separate rooms, and we obliged. And then halfway during the massage the masseuse whispered in my ear and offered me a happy ending for an upgrade. To be completely honest, I was pretty shocked to have this happen at a luxury hotel. I don't necessarily mind them offering the service, but I think it's inappropriate at a luxury hotel to offer "upgrades" mid-service.. if you want to offer it, fine, but offer it upfront.
Absolutely not. There are plenty of places for that kind of action. People go to Four Seasons spas with wives and families, they should keep of clean.
Wait, some fool paid $88 for a massage in Thailand????
perfectly normal in high end spas.
In the words of Sigmund Freud: sometimes a massage is just a massage...
Come on, are you really that naive? 100% of every massage, whether in a Ritz Carlton, Four Seasons, or the No Tell Motel, these services are offered. Even at the high end massage therapy chains, it is ALWAYS available.
But, never pay more than $60 for a hojo, $100 for more. That’s the going rate at high end hotels. It’s actually expected by the masseuse and they know if you want that within a...
Come on, are you really that naive? 100% of every massage, whether in a Ritz Carlton, Four Seasons, or the No Tell Motel, these services are offered. Even at the high end massage therapy chains, it is ALWAYS available.
But, never pay more than $60 for a hojo, $100 for more. That’s the going rate at high end hotels. It’s actually expected by the masseuse and they know if you want that within a minute or 2 of starting the massage.
Let’s be honest here: people don't get massages because their low back is aching!!!
Dude what? People absolutely get massages because they’re lower back is hurting!
What a warped mind you have there, Ryan. I can promise you the overwhelming vast majority of people are not getting massages for happy endings especially considering women are half those clients. I know a thief thinks everyone is a thief, so enjoy your rub and tug, I don’t judge. But to say most people get massages for happy endings is absolutely warped and ridiculous. lol!
Who doesn't love happy ending? Should be offered at every hotel.
There is probably more to this story. This reader has stayed at that hotel many times and not complained over this before and continue to go back. Now he rats the staff out. He also does not consider that the staff may not be an employee of the hotel as many hotel spas and gyms are contracted out. I agree it's okay to ask but if the person says no they should respect it, but equally I don't know why we even need an article to discuss.
This once happened to me in Jakarta. I will not name the hotel, but needless to say, I was shocked. I just told her I was gay, so it was not going to work. I got the impression this was going to be an issue for her with her spa boss, so after listening, I felt bad for her. I told her I was anyway going to give her (ughh, I searched for a better...
This once happened to me in Jakarta. I will not name the hotel, but needless to say, I was shocked. I just told her I was gay, so it was not going to work. I got the impression this was going to be an issue for her with her spa boss, so after listening, I felt bad for her. I told her I was anyway going to give her (ughh, I searched for a better word for on here) a massive tip...so it would appear like I got a "quickie" - one of the items she had mentioned from the jerk off menu (seriously), sigh. I just told her I would sit there while she (ughhh) cleaned up (again, not from me)...to make it look like "something" had ummm, yeah.
Honestly, I was overcome with sadness at the state of the world and people being forced into doing this. I was saddened and stunned.
At another 5-star hotel in New Delhi, I swear the massage therapist was trying to make me cum...ummm, hello, ask first...lol Joke, It would still be a no....it was a no, but wow... This is just not for me.
I was left thinking both times that it's all these disgusting old white men from Europe and Asia (you know the types) who go to Asia and mistreat the women (and men)....this was a huge thing back when it was "oriental" times. We all know how women were treated (look at commercials back in the 1960s and 1970s). United Airlines with their oh so NOT subtle "MEN Only" flights - no women and kids.
The world doesn't just get this place by accident.
Oh, another time the massage therapist at a VERY VERY insanely priced hotel spa outside of SF was not being subtle at all when it came to checking out my stuff...and sort of eyeing me up with "she was a go if I was". Omg, I had forgotten all of these.
Sorry if the above was a touch racy, but I felt it was fitting for the post.
* Europe and America - that should read.
I was offered and received a wonderful "finish" to my massage at a 5* Dubai hotel hammam spa. It was offered discretely and without any pressure until the service began ;-)
Interesting as hammam is often same-sex… and the Emirates are well… somewhat ‘conservative’
As Nancy Reagan said "Just Say No" Not that a very effective campaign.
If yo're into it and you are a single bro, okay fine. Do it and shut up.
We really shouldn't be discussing this it's pathetic.
On Wednesday night I was walking from T3 Manila to the Sheraton and a very young lady approached and asked where I was from and I said nowhere. Her next approach was a bit more direct "can...
As Nancy Reagan said "Just Say No" Not that a very effective campaign.
If yo're into it and you are a single bro, okay fine. Do it and shut up.
We really shouldn't be discussing this it's pathetic.
On Wednesday night I was walking from T3 Manila to the Sheraton and a very young lady approached and asked where I was from and I said nowhere. Her next approach was a bit more direct "can I sleep with you?" and I just said NO EFFIN WAY with my best NYC accent on steroids and she scooted.
It's so sad. It's not going to ever end well. It's gross. Ugh.
Nancy “THROTUS” Reagan?
*goat noises*
Should have asked her how much she is tipping you.
Just… the tip?
I don’t care one way or the other, but from a legal standpoint, IS it legal in that specific jurisdiction, or is it customary to turn a blind eye to it, OR — like most places in the US, the sort of thing that so-called massage parlors are regularly busted for?
That said, it’s never been offered to me, or even hinted at. Maybe THAT’S why my wife always books a couples massage? ;^)
Threesome
Foursome
Swap
Poly
There's something for everyone.
We have a masseuse visit our home every two weeks. There are no "bones" to take care of because we're a pair of gay men, and the masseuse is a butch lesbian.
Finally, an article that speaks to me.
Jack mehoff. LoL
I just decline as too expensive. I can do it for free myself.
When I first read this I was amused. And even surprised that some responders found the practice disgusting.
But then I started to think, and realized it is truly inappropriate because it is sprung on people who are vulnerable. It would be one thing to ask up front when the massage is booked, but it's a very different thing when someone is naked and relaxed and maybe even aroused.
It's really not that...
When I first read this I was amused. And even surprised that some responders found the practice disgusting.
But then I started to think, and realized it is truly inappropriate because it is sprung on people who are vulnerable. It would be one thing to ask up front when the massage is booked, but it's a very different thing when someone is naked and relaxed and maybe even aroused.
It's really not that different that other forms of sexual harassment or assault. And while some may scoff at this conclusion (I can imagine the responses of "If that's sexual assault, bring it on!"), there are people whose history or culture could make them more vulnerable to being taken advantage of.
If someone punches you in the face are you happy?
It's called happy ending not assault because you ended it happy.
Stop enabling snowflake ambulance chasers for frivolous assaults.
You'd be surprised at how common these are at luxury hotels in Dubai. That is one major city where it is all over.
Dubai chocolate
One wonders if there is an equivalent for the women?
I hear they may open a spa at CLT.
Charlotte needs all the help she can get.
Yes. I have been made aware. It's more on call than in the spa from what I once heard in passing.
When I was in China it was explained to me there is “Massage A” and “Massage B.”
What’s the difference? “Massage A loosens muscle, Massage B loosens bone.”
It was put to me exactly like this.
That’s what Xi said.
So long as a simple 'no' is taken as no, then it doesn't bother me.
The advantage of Asia in this regard is that the question is clearly understood by both parties.
I once had a massage in a Catholic European country and was briefly intimately touched not once (easy accident) but twice.
Only afterwards did I deduce that that was probably an offer, which could not be verbalized because it would be...
So long as a simple 'no' is taken as no, then it doesn't bother me.
The advantage of Asia in this regard is that the question is clearly understood by both parties.
I once had a massage in a Catholic European country and was briefly intimately touched not once (easy accident) but twice.
Only afterwards did I deduce that that was probably an offer, which could not be verbalized because it would be considered inappropriate.
What is the appropriate response if one does want a Happy Ending?
"That's nice" ? (clear, but if it is an accident is too explicit which leads to awkwardness)
Or some sort of sigh/moan/grunt?
What's a "Catholic European Country" ? Vatican ?
Catholic country?
You mean, when a little boy says no to the men of god, it means yes?
Or they just wanted to wash away the little boy sins with a happy ending.
$88 for a happy ending in Asia is very overpriced. For that amount, you should be able to get full service. Typical happy ending prices in that region are 10 to 20 bucks. And sexual gratification is a basic human right.
Oh, so men have a "human right" to exploit women's bodies for their own satisfaction?
Real, honorable men who respect themselves and respect women do not use the services of prostitutes; and don't try to kid yourself that this is anything but.
Why are you assuming its a masseuse and not a masseur?
$88 is insane for any massage in Asia.
Looool. You clearly don't spend time in luxury hotels in Asia.
Disgusting! Ok, can someone post the names and locations of these hotel properties so I can boycott all of them!
I’d
“I’ve stayed there eight times over the past nine months”. Now we know why.
Yup.
I cannot wait for the comment on how much more premium delta is in this regard.
Keep Clim-axing!
Oh, is Delta giving hand jobs in Delta One now? What?...thankfully I missed that! Hahahah
Interesting use of the $100 FHR property credit.
This is illegal in many US jurisdictions. It may be charged as prostitution (sexual services for pay, even if there is no penetration or oral contact) and in some cases there is a specific statute addressing 'masturbation for hire.'
Have no idea how often this is charged, and not commenting one way or the other on the public policy aspects, but any establishment that permits this or looks the other way has potential criminal liability....
This is illegal in many US jurisdictions. It may be charged as prostitution (sexual services for pay, even if there is no penetration or oral contact) and in some cases there is a specific statute addressing 'masturbation for hire.'
Have no idea how often this is charged, and not commenting one way or the other on the public policy aspects, but any establishment that permits this or looks the other way has potential criminal liability. And volunteering to pay more in exchange for the service could be solicitation.
The only time I've ever been offered this in the US was at the Palms in Las Vegas back in the day. No surprises there, I guess, except that the masseur was male and my sexual preferences were never discussed. He was totally matter of fact, like a server saying "who wants dessert" at your local Chilis. Guess there are lots of bachelor party bros on the DL in Sin City.
Man, y'all forget that luxury hotel or not, spas need to hire experienced masseuses. How you think you get experience??? At a FS or Ritz level, you have to hire a masseuse that has previous spa like experience. And happy endings supplement monthly income.
Ben. I expect an article like this in OMAAT but not yours.
And why yesterday I unsubscribed from Gary’s website. Too much trash and more like TMZ.
Please keep it to real travel, points, reviews, hotels, miles information. That’s why we subscribed.
This website has really gone down the shitter the last 12 months.
Disagree. I enjoy seeing articles like this.
Me too. Also, @Johnmcsymthe, if you're going to complain about content, you might want to keep the typos under control, expecially when they entirely reverse the meaning you intend.
Guys, he needs to pay the bills just like we all do.
People don't read blogs as much anymore because
A. Short form video
B. Google's embrace of AI means people are more likely to get an AI response rather than scroll down and find OMAAT's review.
Articles like this aren't for the devoted readership as much. They're for eyeballs, clicks, and money. Considering it costs me *nothing* to just skip the...
Guys, he needs to pay the bills just like we all do.
People don't read blogs as much anymore because
A. Short form video
B. Google's embrace of AI means people are more likely to get an AI response rather than scroll down and find OMAAT's review.
Articles like this aren't for the devoted readership as much. They're for eyeballs, clicks, and money. Considering it costs me *nothing* to just skip the articles I don't care for, I am absolutely fine with him doing what has to be done to keep this blog a going concern.
Recognize this and consider not complaining
I gave this blog (& most especially this author) more credit, we already have Gary to cover these sordid details. Disappointing…
While this blog covers air travel, there is no need to announce your departure. Thank you Jan for all your snarky wisdom.
Agree this blog has gone downhill and has other priorities.
But this is real travel and hotel information , some members want to know
i notice that the reader does not specify his response to the tip-based payment offer
I wish it happened more.
Happy endings are disgusting and shouldn’t be offered by any high end establishment. Only happy beginnings - it makes way more sense and nobody talks about this. Like, I’m already relaxed by the end of the massage anyways.
On the other hand, the anticipation and suspense can be enhancing. I'd probably prefer it as you say half the time, the other way half the time.
But if HE was offered in all massages, I'd only opt for it about a quarter of the time. Except in Bangkok, where everything is better.
“On the other hand” haahaha
Lololol HE the gender or HE the act?
Every morning I would go to the salon at the Le Meridian in Bangkok to have an upbraid for my hair. I believe it was a contracted space because we ladies were receiving salon service upfront and um gentlemen were getting often loud happy endings in the back. These things do not trouble me as long as my stylist was not working in the back.
Even if she thoroughly washed & disinfected her hands ? .... lol
Couldn't imagine getting one's hair done in a salon with ecstatic sounds of happy endings in the background !
It was funny at 9 am. And not everyone is that loud. Shortly after the salon was replace with a different business but I have seen a lot of things that are puritanically offensive to many in the USA
That is hilarious! Feels like the White Lotus season 3 side-trip where Walton Goggins' character, Rick Hatchett, reunites with his old friend Frank (played by Sam Rockwell) in Bangkok. Things get freaky!
this dude emailed the hotel snitching?? LOL some people are such narcs
Would you like to see the full email? I was a very high guest there to the point when I would arrive with my driver the bellman knew by name without knowing my arrival time… I live in Indonesia, and come to FS for business. Yes I emailed them, as it’s unacceptable. If I wanted that, I would go to Mangga Besar in North Jakarta or M Bloc, not at the FS.
So snitching? No. Any normal person would see this as unacceptable at a Four Seasons…
No one gives a shit about you being a high guest lmao. Get your head out of your ass.
Why are you telling on people like some 6 year old? You are trying to get someone fired. If you don't want the service, decline. Don't ruin it for the rest of us or for the guy who massaged you.
@Uncle Frank, right on!
She offering you a service. OFFERED. That’s all. You say no, perhaps twice and move on. Why are you crying like she harmed you?
you’d lkely be pleased if massages had to be given by same sex/gender…most of us would NOT.
You literally just described snitching.. snitch
Never been offered one for money...but I have had a few at luxury hotels do it for fun (and free) but there was a lot of ramp up and clear mutual interest lol
I had this happen during a massage at a hotel in Brazil. I did tip generously but there was no negotiation before the, ahm, ending.
Don't be too cocky, they are expecting tip or a sugar daddy. Doesn't mean they wouldn't do it for free. They keep a score too.
Well I am 30...I guess that is a daddy to some LOL. Nah actually it was the opposite, the masseuse was quite a bit olde (not that this matters) lol.