Having kids changes everything in life, and that includes travel. I thought I was an expert on navigating airlines and hotels before we had kids, and then suddenly I felt like a complete newbie. The concept of just rolling up to the airport 45 minutes before departure with a carry-on and relaxing (or typing furiously) for most of the flight is no longer a thing.
In this post, I’d like to talk a bit about how my perspective on hotels has changed over the years, especially as our older son, Miles, is a few months short of being four years old, which is a pretty great (but exhausting) age.
In this post:
For parents, happy kids make a great hotel stay
When you don’t have kids, there are so many aspects of the hotel experience you (understandably) might not even think about, from family pools, to play rooms and kids clubs, to special amenities that make kids happy. For that matter, if you aren’t traveling with kids, a hotel being too kid friendly might even be off-putting, since most couples don’t want to vacation while surrounded by screaming kids.
When our oldest son was still under two years old, I can’t say that I really put that much thought into how accommodating hotels were of kids. You want a hotel that has the basics and doesn’t make you feel out of place, but our son was still most interested in trying to play with outlets and light switches, rather than any things intended for kids.
However, our older son has really turned a corner — he now talks to us nonstop, asks us about everything, and wants to do things other than trying to stick his fingers in outlets (thank goodness!). Going along with that, I’m realizing that my impression of hotel stays is increasingly shaped by his impression of hotel stays:
- Miles is overjoyed when there’s a welcome amenity for him, or a “surprise,” as he calls it; before we even get to the hotel, he asks “are they going to have a surprise for me?”
- A great kids club is absolutely awesome; he’s not quite at the age where he can (or even wants to) hang out in a kids club without a parent, but I’ve probably spent 20 hours over the past week playing with him in kids clubs, and it sure makes things easier for me
- An amazing, kids-friendly pool is useful; if a hotel has a pool that’s fun, with lots of toys, a waterslide, waterfalls, a lazy river, etc., he’s so excited by that, and can spend hours playing
- While I’m not at all a bathtub person, a nice bathtub is something he values for his nightly bath, as he can easily spend 30 minutes in there playing and using his imagination
I say all of this because the entire trip we’ve had incredible, kid friendly hotels, and then last night we stayed at the Ritz-Carlton Geneva, and it was hilarious to hear Miles’ honest take. I realize he’s a really lucky guy, but kids his age are so unfiltered:
- There was no welcome amenity for him in the room, and he said “I’m sad, there’s no surprise for me”
- The hotel has what’s called a “kids corner,” which I took him to, but as soon as he arrived, he said “papa, this isn’t a kids club”
- “Papa, why does the hotel not have a pool?”
We just had a quick overnight, so none of this was a big deal, but it made me realize how much these little things are noticed by kids, and how useful they are in terms of keeping kids occupied.
Let me acknowledge that the world doesn’t exclusively revolve around kids, and it’s important for hotels to strike the right balance, so that any experience that’s friendly toward kids doesn’t diminish the experience for adults.
There are hotels that are ostensibly kid friendly, but where you feel like you’re aggravating the non-families with your presence, because areas targeted at different groups aren’t spread out enough. So while it’s great to have one large resort pool, it’s even better to have separate pools for adults and families, so you aren’t made to feel bad when your kid is having fun.
I totally get when couples spend a fortunate for hotels and are then frustrated by the presence of families due to space not being properly spread out. At the same time, you can’t blame families either.
The way I research hotels has also changed
I think we all do some research before booking hotels, and I’ve definitely noticed a change in my hotel decision making process based on whether I’m traveling alone or as a couple, or with one or two kids.
For example, personally pools have very little appeal to me if I’m not traveling with our older son, while they are basically a necessity when I travel with him. Nowadays I scour hotel websites looking for pictures of the kids clubs, the pools, etc.
Miles isn’t old enough to swim alone, and he wants to stay in pools forever, so that’s kind of exhausting for me. I’m always on the lookout for hotels with little “splash areas” for kids, where he can just take a bucket and play endlessly by himself, since it gives me a little break.
Bottom line
I don’t think this should come as a huge surprise, but perception of hotels is very different based on whether you’re traveling just as adults, or with kids. It’s a good reminder of how we can all come away from hotel stays with very different impressions, based on what we’re looking for.
Before I became a parent, I didn’t fully realize the extent to which hotel features for kids can make or break a hotel stay. Unhappy kids equal unhappy parents. It’s just an aspect of the hospitality industry I never fully appreciated before I had kids.
To fellow parents, how has your hotel selection process and perception of properties changed since having kids?
Couldn't agree more. I too have spent many an hour scouring website for photos or mentions of a bathtub, which is a must when travelling with a child, the option to bave a cot put up in a bedroom before arrival, even a little kids corner with some beanbags, a couple of games and some books to read have been a real help (we haven't experienced any kids clubs), and simply having high-chairs in dining...
Couldn't agree more. I too have spent many an hour scouring website for photos or mentions of a bathtub, which is a must when travelling with a child, the option to bave a cot put up in a bedroom before arrival, even a little kids corner with some beanbags, a couple of games and some books to read have been a real help (we haven't experienced any kids clubs), and simply having high-chairs in dining areas, which makes such a difference and can't be taken for granted, we've discovered.
Lucky, are your kids named Miles and Smiles?
"I totally get when couples spend a fortunate for hotels "
Do you mean "fortune"?
This post really struck a cord with me - while I don’t travel for a living, it was a major passion prior to having kids so I knew a few tips & tricks. Traveling with kids is a completely new sport. Ground transfers (car seat required, uber options, etc), hotel room occupancy caps, do they offer cribs, what can parents do after they go to sleep, flights with 4 seats of award availability. It is...
This post really struck a cord with me - while I don’t travel for a living, it was a major passion prior to having kids so I knew a few tips & tricks. Traveling with kids is a completely new sport. Ground transfers (car seat required, uber options, etc), hotel room occupancy caps, do they offer cribs, what can parents do after they go to sleep, flights with 4 seats of award availability. It is mind boggling how complex travel has become and I’m definitely in the steep part of that learning curve. Best of luck and enjoy parenthood!
Ben, whilst we’re talking kids. Do yours have a yoto? It’s a child friendly audio player with books and music and all sorts of things. My wife found this great card for it call dreaming of a jet plane and it is linked to ATC data and tells you about the planes flying overhead. Heaps of fun for the junior AV geek.
Yes!!! Yoto is a winner! Our daughter spends hours at a time listening to hers and it will easily occupy her for an entire car journey with some audio books, even if it means we've heard the entire Zootopia story about 5 times this week while away on a road trip this week! (We forgot to pack her headphone cable!) Thanks for the tip about that card; heading straight to the Yoto website now!
@Ed was that definitely the name of it? I can't find anything even vaguely related to jet planes. Where are you based? I'm in the UK and wondering if the card offer is different depending on location.
Concave rooms are a huge benefit! Of course a suite with doors is best, but if your kids are decent sleepers having a concave room is almost as good.
Time to end reading the blog I suppose.
Enjoy fatherhood mate. I just can't personally relate to the content anymore
This isn't an airport mate. No need to announce your departure.
Enjoy all of it, and just don't make the same parenting fail we did and somehow raise two kids who can't sleep in the same room as each other. Makes traveling as a family fairly expensive.
Ben just make sure your kids learn how to swim if you aren’t already working on that. It’s Florida. The younger the better.
No offense, but I expected this to be a bit of a boring read for a non-parent - but it was actually really interesting.
I can also see how helpful this could be for other parents. Unfortunately, many parents today (especially in the US with young kids) seem to have no idea - or no interest - in how to manage their kids in public. I love children, but when traveling… not always other people’s...
No offense, but I expected this to be a bit of a boring read for a non-parent - but it was actually really interesting.
I can also see how helpful this could be for other parents. Unfortunately, many parents today (especially in the US with young kids) seem to have no idea - or no interest - in how to manage their kids in public. I love children, but when traveling… not always other people’s kids.
Anyway, really interesting post. As an adult, I appreciate/expect a welcome gift - Miles clearly has the right idea :-).
Maybe there’s a kids travel blog in your future every now and then... ;-)
I also found it interesting although I do not and will not have kids for a variety of reasons, lol.
Food for thought the next time I am researching resort type hotels, finding a quality kids club may make the property more appealing. Well entertained kids are happy kids and less likely to be running amok, etc.
Kids corner of the blog = quarter mile at a time? :P
Same with me....I used to hate all inclusives but those are the ones my litte kiddos actually had the most fun in...kid's club, waterpark, and lazy river.
Other non-AI that my kids had a blast:
1. Kimpton Seafire Cayman Islands - waterpark, kid's juice and gummies at happy hour, zero entry pool for little kids. Kids under 5 eat free and 50% off for kids 5+ to 12 (I think).
2. Hilton Maldives...
Same with me....I used to hate all inclusives but those are the ones my litte kiddos actually had the most fun in...kid's club, waterpark, and lazy river.
Other non-AI that my kids had a blast:
1. Kimpton Seafire Cayman Islands - waterpark, kid's juice and gummies at happy hour, zero entry pool for little kids. Kids under 5 eat free and 50% off for kids 5+ to 12 (I think).
2. Hilton Maldives - they loved the private pool in the room, kid's club, splash pads, and kid's bike. Kids 5 and under eat free! No extra charge for 2 kids in the room.
3. Westin Bora Bora - likewise, they loved the private pool in the room. Shallow lagoon, section of the infinity pool is shallow, the family cultural activities. Kids under 5 eat free and 50% off for 5+ to 12 (I think). But extra charge to upgrade to a room that fits 3 people.
4. Crowne Plaza Wuzhen, China - indoor playground and family themed rooms.
5. The Coral Atlantis Bahamas - huge waterpark and aquarium but I think my kids will enjoy it more if they are older. However, food is extremely expensive here, comparable to Maldives prices but old worned rooms!
Upcoming trips: Waldorf Astoria Costa Rica - kid's club, multiple pools, kid's under 5 eat free. Hotel Schwarzschmied in the Italian Dolomites - outdoor play area and activities.
Omg that ominous Playboy grotto in the last pic is giving Epstein Island vibes
That fish with the 10 on its forehead looks pretty horrified…
Anyone know where that last pic is?
As a recent parent it would be great to see a post of some of your favorite “kid friendly” properties you’ve been to, or the ones you most want to visit for the amenities you say you value when traveling with Miles (eg the splash zones). That would be awesome research to share!
Your family would love thematic family rooms at Shangri-La Singapore and Hong Kong
The challenge with kids and hotels comes also around age 11 to 13, for some they are adults as of 12, some as of 13, which then becomes an issue related to size and max occupancy of rooms and excision of connecting, new room or even the search engines being terrible when searching for 2 adults and 2 kids of which one is 12 or 13 and considered adult. Even suites unless 2 bedrooms are sometimes not an option. Never mind lounge access etc. it’s easiest till 11 years.
Decision, not excision, of connecting
One word of caution when your kids get older and bigger. You'll find upgrades to suites with only a single king bed and a crappy pull out sofa to be not so sweet anymore! When my kids were younger we actually turned down some upgrades to ensure everyone had a proper bed to sleep in.
How about a simple solution. Don't travel with kids. You love them. Other people don't. Be considerate.
Newsflash: No one wants to deal with you, either.
Completely agree, traveling adults only is great. So Jacoby, will you watch my kids next week while I travel?
@S Jacoby
In a totally non-critocal way, I'm guessing you're not a parent or haven't tried travelling with a child. We've found taking our now 5 year-old away to new locations a really rewarding experience for all of us. She has a much better understanding of people coming from different backgrounds, places and levels of development/wealth or lack thereof and a level of empathy from that, which I don't think she would otherwise have...
@S Jacoby
In a totally non-critocal way, I'm guessing you're not a parent or haven't tried travelling with a child. We've found taking our now 5 year-old away to new locations a really rewarding experience for all of us. She has a much better understanding of people coming from different backgrounds, places and levels of development/wealth or lack thereof and a level of empathy from that, which I don't think she would otherwise have had. She absolutely loves travelling too; it is the only thing that will make her willingly get up and independently jump out of bed before 7am!
And not all kids are badly behaved; she is by no means perfect, but travelling with children can be a joy if you deal with it in the right way and above all adjust your travel plans to ensure the kids get their full number of hours of sleep. We've found tiredness to be the main cause of any bad behaviour, so just accept now that late nights while away need to be avoided in order to have a happy tomorrow.
And for us, seeing her joy is reward enough. Why would I want to leave my child at home?
I'd love to see even mini reviews/recaps on the places you stayed that you thought were family friendly on this last trip!
On the higher end Four Seasons is the obvious name for traveling with kids. First hand FS Nevis and FS Anguilla are both fantastic (if not expensive) options that really cater to families but also have dedicated adults only spaces.
In Portugal, Martinhal is a very good option. I have yet to...
I'd love to see even mini reviews/recaps on the places you stayed that you thought were family friendly on this last trip!
On the higher end Four Seasons is the obvious name for traveling with kids. First hand FS Nevis and FS Anguilla are both fantastic (if not expensive) options that really cater to families but also have dedicated adults only spaces.
In Portugal, Martinhal is a very good option. I have yet to stay at their Sagres location but we have stayed at the Lisbon Chiado spot and found it fantastic with a young child.
@Ben (and other parents), how do you respond to your kids' questions/disappointment?
If they always expect F/J, luxury hotels, suites, pools, kids clubs, etc., that becomes the norm for them. How are you making sure that their expectations don't become entitlement? Since, you know, entitled kids become entitled adults.
@ Tennen -- It's an excellent question, and one I'm only starting to think more of now. It's only in the past few months (I'd say since the beginning of the year) that I feel like Miles actually comprehends some things on the travel front, and I absolutely don't want him to only expect amazing experiences by default. This trip and the one to Deer Valley earlier in the year were both planned way in...
@ Tennen -- It's an excellent question, and one I'm only starting to think more of now. It's only in the past few months (I'd say since the beginning of the year) that I feel like Miles actually comprehends some things on the travel front, and I absolutely don't want him to only expect amazing experiences by default. This trip and the one to Deer Valley earlier in the year were both planned way in advance, before that was a consideration.
For future travel, I want to mix things up more, so that's my plan. I'll try to mix things up with economy, premium economy, more mid-range hotels, etc.
I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on this over time, Ben. This is also something I'm thinking about with my 2- and 4-year-olds. I've taken my older child to some destinations I definitely don't want to become entitlements (like Turks and Caicos), mostly because I wanted to go there and I enjoy bringing them along for the ride. Not having to follow the school calendar has also helped here. I'm hopeful that given...
I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on this over time, Ben. This is also something I'm thinking about with my 2- and 4-year-olds. I've taken my older child to some destinations I definitely don't want to become entitlements (like Turks and Caicos), mostly because I wanted to go there and I enjoy bringing them along for the ride. Not having to follow the school calendar has also helped here. I'm hopeful that given their age, they are too young for these to become entitlements, that they won't even remember those trips in a few years.
As we get closer to elementary school, I plan to shift our travel to more drivable destinations, local beaches where we can easily rent a house.
While I'd love to be able to book long-haul J for 4, lack of available seats puts us all in Economy most of the time. And that's fine, as I think long-haul economy for kids is almost like long-haul biz for adults (given their size to seat ratio).
Thank you for this post, Ben. I would love to see more like this. We are both parents to similarly aged children, and have long travel histories pre-kids. Certainly what you look for changes as a parent. Having laundry at a resort is enormously helpful, and easy to determine. But some small details are hard to look for and super helpful to know (eg, if you selected a suite to have the toddler sleep in...
Thank you for this post, Ben. I would love to see more like this. We are both parents to similarly aged children, and have long travel histories pre-kids. Certainly what you look for changes as a parent. Having laundry at a resort is enormously helpful, and easy to determine. But some small details are hard to look for and super helpful to know (eg, if you selected a suite to have the toddler sleep in the living room in a crib while adults relax or sleep in the bedroom, does the door between the rooms fully close? or have a window that lets light through?; do they have a diaper pail and fridge that cools to milk-safe temps rather than beverage cooler?, are there steps required that make a stroller challenging?). I very much value the baby/toddler amenities and having a crib with fitted sheet (not flat that is tucked, so as to pull out and become a suffocation hazard) is critical. Figuring out these details prior to the stay places extra value on the website detail and pre-arrival assistance. Oh, and can housekeeping come service the room when you're out in between naps and be done by the time you're back for next nap (politely asking them, "come now")? This never mattered pre-kids....
I would say that choosing a hotel with a child does take some considerations while balancing others. We took out 2 year old to the FS Manele Bay on Lanai because they have actual cribs we could use, which was great (plus, they offered free RT flights for a limited time, which was a great deal).
However, we also want to make sure our son doesn't grow up feeling spoiled. Our travel habits ultimately lead...
I would say that choosing a hotel with a child does take some considerations while balancing others. We took out 2 year old to the FS Manele Bay on Lanai because they have actual cribs we could use, which was great (plus, they offered free RT flights for a limited time, which was a great deal).
However, we also want to make sure our son doesn't grow up feeling spoiled. Our travel habits ultimately lead to us book flights and hotels that are really the best value based on dates, times, number of seats, etc. As a result, most of our flights are in economy, 1/2 the time using cash, and hotels are a mix of luxury (usually with points) to limited service (using cash). Whatever the accommodations or method of transportation, he's just grateful for the opportunites he has to explore the world.
I love this. Great balance. I have the same concern...I thought a courtyard Marriott was luxury when I was a kid....
Have to agree about the pool - a pool is not something I ever cared about (at all), but when my daughter was little she was a "water baby". Hanging out in the pool was always a highlight of the vacation - her mom and I might have been amazed by, say, Angkor Wat, but the kid just wanted to get back in the hotel pool.
Having a six-year-old and going to resorts and seeing other kids, I came to realize that the very reason why some hotels are adult-only is because of how bad behaved are many kids from (for example) Middle East, India, China.
@GRkennedy: Racist much?
So, are you OK when people bash Americans? Is that racist? No, of course not.There exist differences based on where people grew up/live. Chef explains it when the South Park kids were traveling to play a Chinese team in dodge ball.
It's certainly a very privileged upbringing to be staying at the Ritz-Carlton Geneva at such a young age.
I have always thought of Ritz-Carlton (especially in a city) as more suitable for those travelling child-free rather than as families.
Although their online material suggests they are keen on kids, so just not in Geneva.
I do wish that brands would be more consistent across hotels, and not all try to be all things to all people.
RC Geneva going on my positive list!
Just booking hotels for Japan and Hong Kong right now. We have a 2.5year old.
Kids club is not much of a factor but I am studying neighbourhoods for playgrounds and parks. Quality of the swings and the slide are of highest importance. Pool is very useful although a local public pool is a good second choice.
Access to a washing machine allows us to pack light. In room washing machines are surprisingly...
Just booking hotels for Japan and Hong Kong right now. We have a 2.5year old.
Kids club is not much of a factor but I am studying neighbourhoods for playgrounds and parks. Quality of the swings and the slide are of highest importance. Pool is very useful although a local public pool is a good second choice.
Access to a washing machine allows us to pack light. In room washing machines are surprisingly common in Japanese hotels so this is good.
For us having a door we can close on him is the key. We’ve done nanny services for when we want to go out as a couple but some nights, after a day with a very energetic toddler, sometimes all we want to do is flop in front of the TV.
Whoops I didn’t mean that to be a reply
Congratulations, soon you will realize why we have agreed to go to all inclusives as you know you can get food that your kids will actually eat haha