The Devil’s Advocate Hits Me Where It Hurts… Right In The Duck!

My friend Scott runs the Hack My Trip blog, and he does a great job with it.

We’re very different – I felt like going to college was the biggest waste of my life, while he has like 14 doctoral degrees and is trying to figure out a way to get back into school, cause he loves learning that much. So I guess basically I’m (a much less attractive version of) Penny, and he’s Sheldon. Except as far as I know he doesn’t have a relationship agreement with his wife (who in no way resembles Amy Farrah Fowler, for the record). For those of you that don’t watch The Big Bang Theory, please disregard all of the above.

Anyway, Scott has some great contributors on his blog, and one of my favorites is The Devil’s Advocate. I’m sure you can guess from which perspective he writes.

His posts are brilliant and he’s hilarious. I had the chance to meet him this past weekend at Frequent Traveler University in Chicago, and he was every bit as witty as I had hoped.

As we were having some drinks I snapped my fingers in a “z” formation and said “try me, b!tch,” thinking he could write something that I could have a good response to.

Well, he hit me where it hurts and attacked me in the one area I simply don’t have a good response to – the Lufthansa First Class Terminal. Check out his post, entitled “Will a Certain Fellow Blogger Please Calm Down About Lufthansa.”

A few of the gems:

Oh, but wait! There’s a cigar lounge where you can sit and smoke a cigar from the lounge’s extensive collection. That’s great. There’s nothing more ideal than filling your lungs with smoke right before climbing aboard a heavily pressurized tube with only recycled air for 12 hours straight.

…

Plucky also likes to make a big deal of the fact that the First Class Terminal has shower rooms, including a few with Jacuzzi tubs. These are also available on a first come, first serve basis, though admittedly there’s more of these than the nap rooms. So you’re more likely to be able to get in one of them… assuming the one thing you’re dying to do in the midst of traveling is to take off all your clothes and get into a shower or tub that’s been previously used by hundreds of other people.

…

I’m going to let Plucky in on a little secret. If small plastic ducks are your thing, you don’t have to fly to Frankfurt or burn tens of thousands of miles on Lufthansa First Class to get them. They’re available at almost any toy store. Or you can order them on something called “The Internet.” Yes, they have rubber duckies on this Internet thing in various shapes, colors, and sizes as well. I’d start my search on a place called Amazon where you can find a collection of 26 ducks for less than $12. Hey Plucky, that’s only 1,200 UR points even if you redeem points directly for cash!

Leave me and my ducks alone!!!

Yeah, so I really don’t have a good response, unfortunately, other than to say “ouch.”

Well, that and at least I don’t fly my girlfriend in angled flat business class (which admittedly would require having a girlfriend, but I digress).

Unless we’re going to count a video of Scott getting paddled on Saturday night as leverage, I’ll just be sitting in the corner crying, I think…