I swear I’m not trying to be crass here, as I’m the last person who wants to discuss bathroom activities, or enjoys bathroom humor. Heck, I’m kind of horrified to be writing this. However, I feel like it’s a public service that someone’s gotta do…
It’s not uncommon to find an aircraft lavatory that might not objectively be considered clean. However, every once in a while you walk into a lavatory that looks like a swampy crime scene, and which makes you wonder if you would’ve been better off staying at home.
In the case of an EgyptAir flight a couple of days ago, I was waiting to use the forward lavatory. I heard the flushing noise, and then a second later one of the other business class passengers walked out. I don’t even want to talk about what I witnessed upon walking into the lavatory, but I just couldn’t look at the guy the same way again.
Was he aware of what the inside of the toilet bowl looked like, and he just didn’t care? Would he be happy if roles were reversed? And did he even wash his hands, based on the fact that the lavatory door opened a second after I heard the flush? Bleh…
In this post:
We should treat airplane lavatories with respect
Admittedly some people find many aspects of the travel experience to be quite unpleasant. However, if you ask me, having to use aircraft lavatories is among the worst aspects of it, especially on airlines where crews aren’t responsible for refreshing them during the flight.
The topic of going number two aside, I think we should all effort to leave aircraft lavatories no worse off than we found them:
- If your aim isn’t good and you “miss,” take some toilet paper and clean up after yourself
- Flush after you go to the bathroom (which sounds obvious, but…)
- If toilet paper falls on the floor, pick it up and throw it away
- Wipe down the sink area if water sprays anywhere
- Do yourself a favor, and don’t go into the lavatory barefoot or with socks, because odds are that it’s not water on the ground
I will say that I think the varying airline policies on crews keeping lavatories clean is a highly underrated differentiator between carriers, especially in premium cabins. For example, if you’re flying the Emirates A380 in first class (where there’s a shower suite) or first class on a Japanese airline, the lavatory is basically fully refreshed after each use.
Compare that to US airlines, where the crews aren’t responsible for cleaning lavatories, and they can be disgusting at the end of a long haul flight.
How to go number two on an airplane with dignity
Okay, now let’s get to the main topic of this post. I don’t think anyone enjoys going number two on a plane, but if you’re going to, there are some basic ways to minimize the impact it has on other passengers. I think those are worth addressing, because in some cases there are some tips people maybe don’t consider.
Now, personally I have a strong preference for simply not using the lavatory on planes if there’s any way at all to avoid it, but that’s just my own bias.
Time your lavatory visit
If you’re going to take a while, there’s a strategy to when you should use the lavatory. Don’t go right after takeoff, right after the meal service, or right before landing, when everyone else wants to go.
The best time to go is right as the crew starts their service, since a cart will be blocking the aisle, and passengers will be looking forward to the service. Furthermore, during that time the flight attendants won’t be in the galley “observing.”
Alternatively, on a long haul flight, wait until the service has concluded for around 30 minutes, once everyone is settling in to relax.
Use the best lavatory
This is for your own convenience, rather than the convenience of others. Airplane lavatories keep getting smaller and smaller, though this isn’t true across the board.
Typically there’s at least one larger lavatory on most planes, if not more. Do what you can to find it.
Furthermore, assuming you’re on a bigger plane with several lavatories, go to one that’s in the same area as others. That way if a line forms, everyone won’t be waiting for you.
How to minimize the smell in the lavatory
You’ll sometimes see crews put coffee bags in the lavatories, which are intended to minimize odors. I’ve seen some suggest that you should ask a crew for a coffee bag before going into the lav. Personally asking that sounds sort of horrifying to me. But there are ways you can minimize the smell:
- Flush as soon as you “go,” and then again a couple of moments later — there’s no shame in frequent flushing as long as you leave a clean and pleasant smelling lavatory
- When you’re done, use a lot of soap when you wash your hands — airlines typically have foaming soap, and you’d be surprised by how much of a difference it can make in terms of the smell
- Bring a toiletries bag into the lavatory as if you’re brushing your teeth, and worst case scenario, spray some perfume or cologne; don’t go all Bath & Body Works on the place, but a spray or two will go a long way (sometimes the airlines even have a mist in the lavatory)
How to leave the lavatory spotless
Most airplane lavatories use suction technology, so a spotless toilet bowl may be tougher to achieve than elsewhere, since the suction does a better job with liquids than solids. With that in mind:
- Before you “go,” take one of the disposable toilet seat covers that’s in the lavatory, and “line” the inside of the toilet bowl with it (or alternatively use toilet paper); this works wonders, and you’ll thank me later… or maybe the person who uses the bathroom after you will
- If there are any “marks” or toilet paper sticking to the side of the bowl, take a mouthwash cup, fill it with water, and pour it over whatever you’re trying to remove; adding a bit of water will make it all go down much easier when you flush again
- Depending on how self conscious you are, just take a paper towel and wipe the inside of the bowl as needed; it’s not like there’s water, and you should be able to avoid direct contact completely (besides, it gives you another opportunity to soap up your hands, further improving the smell of the environment)
- Then of course wipe down the sink area, etc.
By the time all is said and done, the lavatory should look more spotless than when you entered it.
Bottom line
Airplane lavatories have to be one of the less pleasant aspects of flying, as they’re among the dirtiest bathrooms that many of us are “forced” to use. As a result, I think it’s important that we try to be considerate of one another, and clean up after ourselves to the best of our abilities.
In some cases it’s pretty clear that people just don’t care about the state they leave a lavatory in, while in other cases I think people just don’t know better. Hopefully at least some people find the above tips to be useful.
Where do you stand on airplane bathroom etiquette?
I am not sure why people think the toilet seat tissue covers are where you should
shove the paper towel trash into it???? I see it a lot... guess they cannot find the trash area??
I absolutely love how airplanes that are heavily used in Southeast Asia have photos of how to use the toilet (since many are accustomed to the squatty potty variant). Those bathrooms get nasty even more quickly, a fact amplified that flight attendants seem to really dread taking any flight into the region (a point I think you've mentioned at other points on the blog)
I'm not going to go out of my way to clean...
I absolutely love how airplanes that are heavily used in Southeast Asia have photos of how to use the toilet (since many are accustomed to the squatty potty variant). Those bathrooms get nasty even more quickly, a fact amplified that flight attendants seem to really dread taking any flight into the region (a point I think you've mentioned at other points on the blog)
I'm not going to go out of my way to clean up other peoples mess but I have some great advice. Much like you can't enter a pool with Active Diarrhea, you shouldn't get on a plane with it either. Oh no! you might be thinking. I Can't Miss This Flight! Well American medicine has created a solution to your problem called Imodium. Take 2-3 doses per the instructions and you will not need to sit on a toilet for about 3 days. It takes about 4-6 hours at most to take full effect. It's stronger than even the worst food sickness.
I have never ever sat on an airline toilet seat. If I need to go, I position myself over the toilet and just crouch down over it. The washrooms have to be the filthest area of the aircraft.
This post (article??) is a new low for your blog. What a shame!
More evidence that the human race is devolving to the apes from which we came. When people need to be told about proper "bathroom behavior" on an airplane.
Can people not hold a dookie for a few minutes? Just wait, have some patience and go back later! The sausage goes in the bowl because it tends to leak, BM's are rarely a one-hole evacuation.
Agree that the people this is intended for are probably not reading it....
About time someone address the subject. I remember reading years ago how actress Lucille Ball admitted in an interview that she was obsessed with cleaning the sink and counter on commercial airliners.
I served Miss Ball in F many years ago. A VERY unpleasant experience. Can't imagine her doing that in the Lav, but stranger things I suppose have happened..........
It is truly surprising that some airlines don't think it either their duty or necessary to clean the lavatory during flights. Seems they have no more respect for their clients than the Subway or some random public toilet in a park...
A list of the offending airlines would be appreciated because then we can all avoid them, or at least make better plans to avoid their toilets.
In my experience the asian airlines Cathay, Singapore,...
It is truly surprising that some airlines don't think it either their duty or necessary to clean the lavatory during flights. Seems they have no more respect for their clients than the Subway or some random public toilet in a park...
A list of the offending airlines would be appreciated because then we can all avoid them, or at least make better plans to avoid their toilets.
In my experience the asian airlines Cathay, Singapore, JAL, EVA etc and the middle-east airlines Qatar, Etihad, Emirates have excellent client respecting policies, and regularly clean and refresh the toilets between uses, Can't say the same care is evident by the mainstream US, Australian and Eurropean airlines though.
Not a bad post. The reality is though that it's worthless in trying to change anything. I always try to leave a nice environment after using the loo, even after others leave messes. But the unfortunate is that few other passengers care or consider. It's a hopeless situation.
And no, do not put your hand in the bowl as Ben advises. Cups of water work just as well. And there is no need to be anywhere near there.
Can I redeem miles to use the larger lavatory?
Sure not on United, but It seems this is more interesting, as well as the credit cards selling smoke....
Bidets are a must! Some Asian airlines have them and they are great! I installed Toto toilets throughout and they are amazing, almost all hands free plus uv sanitization. There are much cheaper options too for like $40 seats.
There also should be one bigger bathroom in economy and one in First, those should be numbered as 2
I’m reminded of the British Airways flight that had to return to Heathrow after a passenger stank up the cabin so bad.
My signature move is to leave the airplane's toilet spotless for the next person, maintaining the same level of cleanliness as my home toilet. Before using the restroom, I often clean up after others, especially when there are urine spills. I quickly wipe down the area, including the floors, with the provided sprays. I know where to find the cleaning product caddy in the restroom.
Afterward, I sanitize the area, wipe away water drips, and...
My signature move is to leave the airplane's toilet spotless for the next person, maintaining the same level of cleanliness as my home toilet. Before using the restroom, I often clean up after others, especially when there are urine spills. I quickly wipe down the area, including the floors, with the provided sprays. I know where to find the cleaning product caddy in the restroom.
Afterward, I sanitize the area, wipe away water drips, and thoroughly clean my hands. This small deed ensures a clean experience for the next passenger and prevents any blame for messes in the toilet.
Or you can do as donny VonShitzenpants trump and wear adult diapers.
But be classy and make sure to wear the ones with gold trim peddled by VonShitzenpants himself - loyal maga imbeciles get a deal to pay more and order a combo with his bible and sneakers.
I thought I mistakenly pulled up View from the Clickbait
Yeah Ben is really turning up the ragebait this weekend. Call button and bathroom etiquette. Not to mention the Delta shitshow.
LALF also has been very TMZ-esque lately with half of the articles just being Reddit and Instagram videos of passengers being trashy. At the end of the day, it's about what gets eyeballs.
Ben, if you ever write a book please do the world a favor and title it, "How To Poop On An Airplane Without Being A Jerk."
Sounds like the title of a David Sedaris book.
OMG it kinda does...
You can swap some words and get a sequel.
Thank you Ben for bringing this up!
"just take a paper towel and wipe the inside of the bowl as needed"
O M G ... I almost vomited reading that! I would NEVER do that!!!
YUK! YUK! YUK!
Same. I mean, if there was a bowl wand there, then maybe.... but there'd be icicles on the devil's underwear before I'd ever do that with my hand. No effin' way.
I believe you said this happened on EgyptAir. Have you ever been to Egypt? I've been to nearly 100 countries and have never seen such filth as in Egypt. I remember being at the Egyptian Museum (old one) a few years ago and even those were absolutely disgusting and probably hadn't been cleaned in months. Its a cultural thing.
Are we really surprised people walk out without washing their hands? Every time I wash my hands in the public washroom, at least 2 people would walk out without washing their hands, and 2 will do a 1-second courtesy rinse where they barely touch the water, let alone use any soap.
I'm blessed to be born in a time and place where I don't have to leave micro piss and poop on my hands, so I'm going to make full use of a minute of soap + water.
You’re a self-hating racist. You’re gonna need a lot of soap and water to cleanse yourself of your disdain for Han peoples.
Please elaborate
I'm sure that the Lufthansa crews aren't responsible for the lavoratories because they are always filthy. On one flight from NYC to Frankfurt all of the 6 toilets were out of order and the crew made no effort to repair them
‘Repair” them?
Mate, Lufthansa FAs aren’t plumbers!
Several years ago on an MD80 female passenger in F uses fwd lav. When she exits, an older female flight attendant enters the lav and loudly exclaims "Oh Dear God".
Cabin erupted in laughter.
Pax sued for humiliation and won.
Can you imagine how bad it had to be for the FA to react like that? Pax should have cleaned up after herself.
Pax sued and won... that's all you need to be concerned about here...
Ahhh the mandatory toilet picture. This time 3 of them.
Ben, you’ve really jumped the shart with this post.
When my handlers take me to air force one, if i make it up the airstairs without falling or tripping, I use the lavatory but generally foul myself,
that's what aides are for......
Another great argument for content moderation
Chill, GBOAC, chill! Can people not hold a dookie for a few minutes? Just wait, have some patience and go back later! The sausage goes in the bowl because it tends to leak, BM's are rarely a one-hole evacuation.
In the secrecy of my J seat I will do a 1 and a 2 during lights out. More considerate for the rest of the toilet users.
Thank you Ben!!! I always try to ensure the lav is cleaner than before I went in. It is just common courtesy! If you miss the bowl, clean it up. If you splash water around washing your hands, wipe it up. And if you are smart, take some disinfectant wipes with you, and wipe the door handle off as you leave.
I try not to leave it cleaner than how I found it because I do not want to clean up other people's mess in an airplane bathroom. I'll wipe up my own mess, but I don't want my hand touching other people's pee. I will wipe down the counter though.
Mercy flush!
More planes need bidets! Bidets everywhere!
Agreed! White westerners who walk around with poop on their backsides are gross. You wouldn't just use tissue to wipe it off, if you had poop on your hand, so why your bum?
@Vicnc,
^This. Growing up, I'd always thought the concept of "skidmarks" was just comedians' punchline... wasn't until college that I learned "holy crap, there are people with so little hygiene that they literally walk around with sh!t-stains on their underwear, then toss that in with all their other clothes every time they do laundry!"
Cannot comprehend why ANYONE would do that. Heck, you can get a bidet attachment for Western toilets on Amazon for like...
@Vicnc,
^This. Growing up, I'd always thought the concept of "skidmarks" was just comedians' punchline... wasn't until college that I learned "holy crap, there are people with so little hygiene that they literally walk around with sh!t-stains on their underwear, then toss that in with all their other clothes every time they do laundry!"
Cannot comprehend why ANYONE would do that. Heck, you can get a bidet attachment for Western toilets on Amazon for like $20 nowadays!
It's a toilet. Are we really having this conversation? I'd rather be in the restroom with the guy than ever visit this website again. I feel dirtier reading this than if I'd washed my hands in that crapper. I won't be back....there's too many useful travel sites to endure this literary diarrhea. God almighty.
This is a frequent flyer blog site. Isn’t it?
Yes a frequent flyer blog, not a frequent shitter blog. We read enough shit from Lucky.
@CBsongman: Thanks for sharing your reaction and even more thanks for promising you will never reappear on this site. Whoooosh
Bye Felicia. Don’t let the bog door hit ya, where the good lord split ya…
byeee sensitive one!
Another really annoying point is that we always pay for first or biz class but often flight attendants allow economy passengers to use the first or biz class toilets - part of the huge premium we pay is to have less used so hopefully cleaner toilets. In response to a previous comment we just stayed at the Hyatt in Trinidad where they had one ply toilet paper and facial tissue.
Was on a qantas flight the other day in J. Several passengers from Y trying to use the J toilets. Glad to see the attendent stopping one of them and directing them to the back toilets…
Ohhh don't get me started on economy class passengers given full access to the premium cabin washrooms. It's not just the toilets being occupied, it's also the foot traffic in the aisle.
Ben, what are the odds that the guy even washed his hands?
Pooing problems
Check your diet. The average American eats only 10g fiber per day. Women need twice that, men need three times that. Sufficient fiber intake and hydration will create poo that comes out in a solid log that doesn't smear. You won't even need to wipe.
Peeing problems
Healthy pee is clear or pale yellow and comes out in a single stream. Darker colored pee may signal dehydration (drink more water). Pee...
Pooing problems
Check your diet. The average American eats only 10g fiber per day. Women need twice that, men need three times that. Sufficient fiber intake and hydration will create poo that comes out in a solid log that doesn't smear. You won't even need to wipe.
Peeing problems
Healthy pee is clear or pale yellow and comes out in a single stream. Darker colored pee may signal dehydration (drink more water). Pee that consistently dribbles or sprays requires treatment by a urologist.
Makes sense that you’re an expert in piss and shit.
You’re certainly no expert at law.
I've noted in a different thread that I think this reader is a particular loquacious adolescent having returned from sabbatical.
Much of what is stated in accurate and not generally known. There are fiber supplement powders that actually help form stools.
This feels like the perfect article to suggest an article idea i've had for awhile:
Ranking of hotel(particularly luxury hotels) toilet paper. I've stayed at a couple fancy places and it blows my mind that paying $500-700 a night doesn't get you anything better than Scott 1 ply.
We often spent a few days in a Res-Inn with unusually low quality toilet paper. We made it our habit to bring our own rolls. The plan was to use our own, the chamber person actually took rolls out of our pack in the closet.
Wish everyone would do this. Good article which must be written in spite of the subject matter.
Article full of Sh*t.
Should have flown Delta, at least their Sh*t is premium, according to some piece of ...
The world doesn't deserve @Ben :)
I also think the title should be "How to use the toilet ANYWHERE (even on a plane) if you care a little bit about others".
What a crappy article. This ranks #2 in OMAAT history.
Out of curiosity what is #1?
Joke went way over your head
Ohhh don't get me started on economy class passengers given full access to the premium cabin washrooms. It's not just the toilets being occupied, it's also the foot traffic in the aisle.
Unfortunately nobody who needs this advice is going to read this article.
@Lucky, do you know if it's bad to flush tissues? It's a big problem for sewers, but was wondering if it's an issue for airplane lavatories. I've had flights where they've run out of TP...
Lots of good tips, but this caught my eye: "...take one of the disposable toilet seat covers that’s in the lavatory, and “line” the inside of the toilet bowl..."
This is actually a good use of the covers; they're...
@Lucky, do you know if it's bad to flush tissues? It's a big problem for sewers, but was wondering if it's an issue for airplane lavatories. I've had flights where they've run out of TP...
Lots of good tips, but this caught my eye: "...take one of the disposable toilet seat covers that’s in the lavatory, and “line” the inside of the toilet bowl..."
This is actually a good use of the covers; they're always extremely cumbersome to use, so I just sanitize and wipe down instead.
The plane waste eventually is dumped down municipal sewers, so your tissue will still gum up the works there - bad in the long run.
While this all makes sense and I do some or much of it already, do you think the same gate lice who boarded the plane early or prior to their zone being called will do anything resembling this? No I don't think so either!
But thanks for trying!
My personal tip since I was a flight attendant for 20 years is:
Always use the lavatory AFTER a flight attendant, because you KNOW it will be spotless. I know I would clean before and after I went.
Clickbait.
Not really. It’s a very helpful and practical article. You obviously don’t travel enough to realise toilet etiquette is a big issue for frequent flyers .
The lavatory is left better than when I entered it. I sanitize and wipe down all surfaces immediately upon entering.