I swear I’m not trying to be crass here, as I’m the last person who wants to discuss bathroom activities, or enjoys bathroom humor. Heck, I’m kind of horrified to be writing this. However, I feel like it’s a public service that someone’s gotta do…
Continue reading: How To Poop On An Airplane Without Being A Jerk
Share your questions, experiences, and thoughts below.
The lavatory is left better than when I entered it. I sanitize and wipe down all surfaces immediately upon entering.
My personal tip since I was a flight attendant for 20 years is:
Always use the lavatory AFTER a flight attendant, because you KNOW it will be spotless. I know I would clean before and after I went.
While this all makes sense and I do some or much of it already, do you think the same gate lice who boarded the plane early or prior to their zone being called will do anything resembling this? No I don't think so either!
But thanks for trying!
@Lucky, do you know if it's bad to flush tissues? It's a big problem for sewers, but was wondering if it's an issue for airplane lavatories. I've had flights where they've run out of TP...
Lots of good tips, but this caught my eye: "...take one of the disposable toilet seat covers that’s in the lavatory, and “line” the inside of the toilet bowl..."
This is actually a good use of the covers; they're always extremely cumbersome to use, so I just sanitize and wipe down instead.
The world doesn't deserve @Ben 🙂
I also think the title should be "How to use the toilet ANYWHERE (even on a plane) if you care a little bit about others".
Article full of Sh*t.
Should have flown Delta, at least their Sh*t is premium, according to some piece of ...
Wish everyone would do this. Good article which must be written in spite of the subject matter.
The plane waste eventually is dumped down municipal sewers, so your tissue will still gum up the works there - bad in the long run.
This feels like the perfect article to suggest an article idea i've had for awhile:
Ranking of hotel(particularly luxury hotels) toilet paper. I've stayed at a couple fancy places and it blows my mind that paying $500-700 a night doesn't get you anything better than Scott 1 ply.
Pooing problems
Check your diet. The average American eats only 10g fiber per day. Women need twice that, men need three times that. Sufficient fiber intake and hydration will create poo that comes out in a solid log that doesn't smear. You won't even need to wipe.
Peeing problems
Healthy pee is clear or pale yellow and comes out in a single stream. Darker colored pee may signal dehydration (drink more water). Pee that consistently dribbles or sprays requires treatment by a urologist.
Makes sense that you’re an expert in piss and shit.
You’re certainly no expert at law.
I've noted in a different thread that I think this reader is a particular loquacious adolescent having returned from sabbatical.
Another really annoying point is that we always pay for first or biz class but often flight attendants allow economy passengers to use the first or biz class toilets - part of the huge premium we pay is to have less used so hopefully cleaner toilets. In response to a previous comment we just stayed at the Hyatt in Trinidad where they had one ply toilet paper and facial tissue.
It's a toilet. Are we really having this conversation? I'd rather be in the restroom with the guy than ever visit this website again. I feel dirtier reading this than if I'd washed my hands in that crapper. I won't be back....there's too many useful travel sites to endure this literary diarrhea. God almighty.
Agreed! White westerners who walk around with poop on their backsides are gross. You wouldn't just use tissue to wipe it off, if you had poop on your hand, so why your bum?
Thank you Ben!!! I always try to ensure the lav is cleaner than before I went in. It is just common courtesy! If you miss the bowl, clean it up. If you splash water around washing your hands, wipe it up. And if you are smart, take some disinfectant wipes with you, and wipe the door handle off as you leave.
Not really. It’s a very helpful and practical article. You obviously don’t travel enough to realise toilet etiquette is a big issue for frequent flyers .
Was on a qantas flight the other day in J. Several passengers from Y trying to use the J toilets. Glad to see the attendent stopping one of them and directing them to the back toilets…
In the secrecy of my J seat I will do a 1 and a 2 during lights out. More considerate for the rest of the toilet users.
When my handlers take me to air force one, if i make it up the airstairs without falling or tripping, I use the lavatory but generally foul myself,
that's what aides are for......
@CBsongman: Thanks for sharing your reaction and even more thanks for promising you will never reappear on this site. Whoooosh
Ohhh don't get me started on economy class passengers given full access to the premium cabin washrooms. It's not just the toilets being occupied, it's also the foot traffic in the aisle.
Ohhh don't get me started on economy class passengers given full access to the premium cabin washrooms. It's not just the toilets being occupied, it's also the foot traffic in the aisle.
Several years ago on an MD80 female passenger in F uses fwd lav. When she exits, an older female flight attendant enters the lav and loudly exclaims "Oh Dear God".
Cabin erupted in laughter.
Pax sued for humiliation and won.
I'm sure that the Lufthansa crews aren't responsible for the lavoratories because they are always filthy. On one flight from NYC to Frankfurt all of the 6 toilets were out of order and the crew made no effort to repair them
Are we really surprised people walk out without washing their hands? Every time I wash my hands in the public washroom, at least 2 people would walk out without washing their hands, and 2 will do a 1-second courtesy rinse where they barely touch the water, let alone use any soap.
I'm blessed to be born in a time and place where I don't have to leave micro piss and poop on my hands, so I'm going to make full use of a minute of soap + water.
Can you imagine how bad it had to be for the FA to react like that? Pax should have cleaned up after herself.
Yes a frequent flyer blog, not a frequent shitter blog. We read enough shit from Lucky.
You’re a self-hating racist. You’re gonna need a lot of soap and water to cleanse yourself of your disdain for Han peoples.
Much of what is stated in accurate and not generally known. There are fiber supplement powders that actually help form stools.
We often spent a few days in a Res-Inn with unusually low quality toilet paper. We made it our habit to bring our own rolls. The plan was to use our own, the chamber person actually took rolls out of our pack in the closet.
I believe you said this happened on EgyptAir. Have you ever been to Egypt? I've been to nearly 100 countries and have never seen such filth as in Egypt. I remember being at the Egyptian Museum (old one) a few years ago and even those were absolutely disgusting and probably hadn't been cleaned in months. Its a cultural thing.
"just take a paper towel and wipe the inside of the bowl as needed"
O M G ... I almost vomited reading that! I would NEVER do that!!!
YUK! YUK! YUK!
Ben, if you ever write a book please do the world a favor and title it, "How To Poop On An Airplane Without Being A Jerk."
I try not to leave it cleaner than how I found it because I do not want to clean up other people's mess in an airplane bathroom. I'll wipe up my own mess, but I don't want my hand touching other people's pee. I will wipe down the counter though.
Or you can do as donny VonShitzenpants trump and wear adult diapers.
But be classy and make sure to wear the ones with gold trim peddled by VonShitzenpants himself - loyal maga imbeciles get a deal to pay more and order a combo with his bible and sneakers.
My signature move is to leave the airplane's toilet spotless for the next person, maintaining the same level of cleanliness as my home toilet. Before using the restroom, I often clean up after others, especially when there are urine spills. I quickly wipe down the area, including the floors, with the provided sprays. I know where to find the cleaning product caddy in the restroom.
Afterward, I sanitize the area, wipe away water drips, and thoroughly clean my hands. This small deed ensures a clean experience for the next passenger and prevents any blame for messes in the toilet.
I’m reminded of the British Airways flight that had to return to Heathrow after a passenger stank up the cabin so bad.
Bidets are a must! Some Asian airlines have them and they are great! I installed Toto toilets throughout and they are amazing, almost all hands free plus uv sanitization. There are much cheaper options too for like $40 seats.
There also should be one bigger bathroom in economy and one in First, those should be numbered as 2
Yeah Ben is really turning up the ragebait this weekend. Call button and bathroom etiquette. Not to mention the Delta shitshow.
LALF also has been very TMZ-esque lately with half of the articles just being Reddit and Instagram videos of passengers being trashy. At the end of the day, it's about what gets eyeballs.
Sure not on United, but It seems this is more interesting, as well as the credit cards selling smoke....
Not a bad post. The reality is though that it's worthless in trying to change anything. I always try to leave a nice environment after using the loo, even after others leave messes. But the unfortunate is that few other passengers care or consider. It's a hopeless situation.
And no, do not put your hand in the bowl as Ben advises. Cups of water work just as well. And there is no need to be anywhere near there.
It is truly surprising that some airlines don't think it either their duty or necessary to clean the lavatory during flights. Seems they have no more respect for their clients than the Subway or some random public toilet in a park...
A list of the offending airlines would be appreciated because then we can all avoid them, or at least make better plans to avoid their toilets.
In my experience the asian airlines Cathay, Singapore, JAL, EVA etc and the middle-east airlines Qatar, Etihad, Emirates have excellent client respecting policies, and regularly clean and refresh the toilets between uses, Can't say the same care is evident by the mainstream US, Australian and Eurropean airlines though.
About time someone address the subject. I remember reading years ago how actress Lucille Ball admitted in an interview that she was obsessed with cleaning the sink and counter on commercial airliners.
Can people not hold a dookie for a few minutes? Just wait, have some patience and go back later! The sausage goes in the bowl because it tends to leak, BM's are rarely a one-hole evacuation.
Chill, GBOAC, chill! Can people not hold a dookie for a few minutes? Just wait, have some patience and go back later! The sausage goes in the bowl because it tends to leak, BM's are rarely a one-hole evacuation.
More evidence that the human race is devolving to the apes from which we came. When people need to be told about proper "bathroom behavior" on an airplane.
I have never ever sat on an airline toilet seat. If I need to go, I position myself over the toilet and just crouch down over it. The washrooms have to be the filthest area of the aircraft.
I served Miss Ball in F many years ago. A VERY unpleasant experience. Can't imagine her doing that in the Lav, but stranger things I suppose have happened..........
@Vicnc,
^This. Growing up, I'd always thought the concept of "skidmarks" was just comedians' punchline... wasn't until college that I learned "holy crap, there are people with so little hygiene that they literally walk around with sh!t-stains on their underwear, then toss that in with all their other clothes every time they do laundry!"
Cannot comprehend why ANYONE would do that. Heck, you can get a bidet attachment for Western toilets on Amazon for like $20 nowadays!
Same. I mean, if there was a bowl wand there, then maybe.... but there'd be icicles on the devil's underwear before I'd ever do that with my hand. No effin' way.
I absolutely love how airplanes that are heavily used in Southeast Asia have photos of how to use the toilet (since many are accustomed to the squatty potty variant). Those bathrooms get nasty even more quickly, a fact amplified that flight attendants seem to really dread taking any flight into the region (a point I think you've mentioned at other points on the blog)
I'm not going to go out of my way to clean up other peoples mess but I have some great advice. Much like you can't enter a pool with Active Diarrhea, you shouldn't get on a plane with it either. Oh no! you might be thinking. I Can't Miss This Flight! Well American medicine has created a solution to your problem called Imodium. Take 2-3 doses per the instructions and you will not need to sit on a toilet for about 3 days. It takes about 4-6 hours at most to take full effect. It's stronger than even the worst food sickness.
I am not sure why people think the toilet seat tissue covers are where you should
shove the paper towel trash into it???? I see it a lot... guess they cannot find the trash area??
Speaking as crew here, a few issues with this article:
1. During service (certainly on short haul flights) is NOT the time to go. If you absolutely have to, at least wait for the trolley to get past your row first - when crew have got about 25 minutes to serve 38 business class passengers having to move the trolleys back and forth wastes valuable time. On a narrowbody having people waiting for the toilet when we're busy working from a tiny galley makes things difficult.
2. Lining the bowl or using excessive amounts of toilet paper can cause a blockage and cause that toilet or even the whole waste system to go out of use. And absolutely do not flush paper towels, these are for drying your hands and then putting in the bin, they don't dissolve so again can clog the system.
3. A lot of lavatories have an individual air vent. DO NOT turn this off! For some reason the people who like to spend time in there also like turning this off, and it's the main source of fresh air into that small space. If you don't like it blowing on you, just angle it away from yourself.
And relating to some of the comments here, please SIT on the toilet seat, you won't catch something from it. Many a time I've refreshed the toilet (everything restocked, every surface sanitised and dry) and then found that the first woman to use it has hovered and sprayed everywhere. And gentlemen, we'd prefer if you sit but if you must stand please lift the toilet seat.
Finally, used hand towels, tissues, sanitary products and nappies/diapers go in the bin. Please don't flush these, and please don't shove them into any other hole, nook or cranny you can find. Seriously, what makes people think that the cup dispenser is a wast disposal? If you decide that the sanitary pad stowage is the place to dispose of your used tampon then we've got to throw all the contaminated supplies away, depriving passengers of amenities they might need.