Should We Have Gone Home With A Persistent Uzbek Man?

By: Ben Schlappig

Published: August 13, 2017

75 comments

This won’t come as a surprise, but I’m a skeptic. When anyone approaches me who I don’t know, the first thing I think about is what their motive is. In general I think if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

I know there are good people out there, so it’s a shame I feel that way, but when you’re a tourist, the reality is that a vast majority of people who approach you have some ulterior motive — to ask for money, to scam you, or something else.

Yesterday we took a day trip from Tashkent to Samarkand, and on our return train ride we were seated across from two guys who lived in Tashkent. They started interacting with us right away — one guy was trying to communicate with us, while the other guy was giggling uncontrollably.

The only problem was that he didn’t speak any English. Like not a word. The closest thing he did to speaking English was saying “Trump” and then putting his thumb up, “Obama” and then putting his thumb up, and “Bush” and then putting his thumb down. Alrighty then.

Even though we were trying to work on our laptops, the guy kept trying to engage with us. We tried to listen, but he really didn’t speak any English at all. But that didn’t stop him from trying over and over and over.

Eventually he called someone up on his phone, said “USA,” handed the phone to Matthew, and that person spoke more English, which is to say that he could say “hello.” But he still didn’t really make it clear what was going on. That happened twice.

Then the guy tried to find a translator. Eventually he got the train attendant, who he sort of held against his will.

“He is saying he wants you to go home with him and have food.”

We said we already had plans for the night, and he said “then he will go with you and you can go clubbing and have wodka.” I could tell the train attendant was really embarrassed by having to be translator here, but the guy wouldn’t relent.

I’m torn here. On one hand a lot of people said that Uzbekistan is better if you have a local showing you around (though I think that’s true of just about anywhere). Maybe he was just truly nice and had good intentions. On the other hand, the guy really didn’t speak a word of English, so while the concept of going out with someone might be somewhat appealing if there was a chance to have a conversation with them, learn about their life, etc., that wasn’t an opportunity here.

While we weren’t trying to be rude, there wasn’t really an opportunity for us to communicate, so we tried to deflect the situation given that it was going nowhere. We were working on our laptops and he’d keep touching our knees to get our attention, and then would make the gesture for having shots, and then also the gesture for eating (at least I assume that’s what he was going for, though it looked more like what many might consider the gesture for snorting coke, since he was basically running his finger underneath his nose).

After about 30 minutes he finally quit, at least for a while. Then for the last 10 minutes of the train ride he started up again.

What should we have done? Is this some well known scam in Uzbekistan, or was the guy just genuinely nice? And if he was being genuinely nice, is there really any value in spending a night with someone you have no shot of communicating with?

I’m curious to hear what you guys think (especially resident Uzbekistan expert, Imperator).

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Memen Guest

November 9, 2021, 12:34 pm

Hello, I went to Uzbekistan a couple months ago, one thing you should know is that Uzbek people are very kind and love foreigners, I spent 2 weeks there so I am not an expert but from my experience they like to ask people to come over to their houses, I’ve stayed at the Uzbek peoples house before and nothing bad ever happened they mostly try to chat and give you food, but if you got a bad feeling then it was probably best to stay away

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D'Juan Guest

June 4, 2020, 2:37 pm

I'm SO 3 years late on replying to this article! I just kinda ran into it online and read it. So, here are my thoughts. Me and a friend (both American and living in Poland) went to visit Georgia and Armenia In 2013. She had visited Georgia before and had a friend living in Tblisi. We flew into Kutaisi and stayed the night there. We went to some cave/mountain thing ( I forgot the name) and we met one of the security guards there. My friend speaks some Russian and they had a conversation. He invited us to a restaurant. He was a big guy and so was I. We went. At the restaurant, I learned that it was custom for people to sit privately together and eat and talk. For me, the whole thing was a little strange. But then she told me that Georgians are very hospitable and this sort of thing is very normal. I said ok. So the whole thing went well and we friended the guy on Facebook. It was a nice experience =) So, I would think that that part of the world, along with the 'Stans, are the same. What would I do if I were in your situation? I'd be more likely to accept going to a restaurant or bar, somewhere public, rather than his place, even though I had that experience in Georgia.

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Uz Guest

August 17, 2017, 3:06 am

Hi, I am from Uzbekistan, I am an ethnic Uzbek, and I want to apologize for the actions of that person. Probably that guy just did not see a foreigner in his life, at least at that close distance. It is true that people in Uzbekistan are known for their hospitality. But it's not that they invite complete strangers everytime to their home. But when it comes to foreigners, they are more willing to do so, because it is a rare opportunity to interact with a foreigner (since Uzbekistan under late president I. Karimov, was not that open for visitors from abroad), and also because they want to show a foreign guest how people in Uzbekistan live, tell them more about local traditions, let them taste Uzbek food, etc. But that does not explain that guys intentions, and is not an excuse his annoying behavior. And even though it is not taboo in Uzbekistan to touch or lightly tap a person to get his attention, from what you are saying it looks like he was overdoing it. And it is not OK. We are not all like him. He seems just to have no manners. Again, please accept my apologies for that person's behavior.

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Anna Guest

August 15, 2017, 12:21 pm

Hello from Uzbekistan. I think before visiting Uzbekistan you have learned about Uzbekistan. If you know Uzbek people they like hospitability, they are so kind and they always welcome foreigners. But it does not mean that you should go with anybody which you do not know him or her well. I think you did well. If i were you i also did not go with them.

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Bill Guest

August 15, 2017, 1:58 am

Haven't been to Uzbekistan but its not known for having a high crime rate compared to other countries in the region. I can tell you in Russia people would just join me for lunch at restaurants or in the train pass around food and drink to everyone in the car. There really is no telling and I wouldn't be going anywhere with him even though he may have been harmless. In fact since he was on the train and its not someone coming up to you on the street he probably was harmless since it wasn't a staged meeting. In some other countries people in that situation end up getting drugged and robbed or taken to a bar/restaurant where they get a massive bill at the end because it was all a scam. Sadly I don't see how you can afford to take a chance on people when you travel, so you did the right thing.

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