LOL: United Airlines Now Has A Cookbook

Boy, I really wish I could prepare that meal I had on United Airlines at home…

…said no one ever.

Well, apparently United disagrees, as the United Shop is now selling the United Polaris Cookbook. It can be had for $29.99, and is the perfect Christmas gift for someone you don’t really like.

Here’s how the cookbook is described:

The United Polaris Cookbook features a collection of mouthwatering recipes inspired by the United Polaris onboard dining experience. With over 40 recipes from United’s Executive Chefs and chefs from The Trotter Project, you’re sure to fall in love with the ingredients, techniques and flavors of these culinary creations.

I mean, I would be sort of curious to read the cookbook:

  • When it talks about ingredients, does it recommend buying the absolute lowest quality meat possible?
  • Does it have a recipe for a “seasonal salad,” which just happens to be the same in every season?
  • Does it come with a recommendation to be unnecessarily loud in the kitchen, and when your guests ask what you’ve made, you just stare at them blankly?
  • Does it suggest announcing to your guests at a dinner party that you’re primarily there for their safety?

šŸ˜‰

In all honesty, the United Shop actually has some good stuff. For example, I love the Polaris blanket, and have bought a couple of them.

But I’ve gotta say, I don’t think this cookbook is among the gems to be found in the United Shop, unless you’re looking for a gag gift…

(Tip of the hat to View from the Wing)

Comments

  1. Funniest post in a while Lucky well done.
    Youā€™ve forgot to mention to tell your guests that their preferred choice of meal is unfortunately not available anymore

  2. waiting for Etihad to release a cookbook for their residence meals; I’ll pay up to $200 for that (and they’ll need that money anyway) šŸ˜‰

  3. What’s wrong with the United cookbook?

    I think United’s food is actually pretty quality. For example, I want to try to make the Thai chicken and coconut soup, which actually looks delicious.

  4. As long as you can get 10 miles per dollar looks like a thoughtful gift for a relative that likes to cook.

  5. ā€œIt can be had for $29.99, and is the perfect gift for someone you donā€™t really like.ā€

    LOL, Benā€™s snarkiness is why this blog will always be best in the biz.

    Love the idea for a United Polaris Cookbook giveaway, though! I would participate so that if I win, I can use the recipes on guests I donā€™t want to entertain again.

  6. In the unlikely case that your annoying cousins survive the Polaris meal, please remember to share with them an exclusive offer, for 50,000 miles which are equivalent to two round trips to Hawaii.

  7. A sound investment, someday this cookbook will sell on eBay for $300! Seriously, someone bought my mother the Harryā€™s Bar Cookbook one Christmas back in the 90s and today it sells for $236 on Amazon.

  8. I get the tongue-in-cheek aspect.

    But it is, perhaps, giving many Chefs at “The Trotter Project” a start and their first time creating recipes for print. These are hard working, often disadvantaged people who are working hard to pursue a dream. The Trotter Project provides scholarships, training, and help for these people. It carries on the legacy of Charlie Trotter, a titan in the culinary world, who was a humanitarian and spent his career in service to training kids who otherwise would not have been exposed to such things. In addition to making fun of airline food, you are making fun of these people, a great non profit, and their combined dreams. Many people worked very hard, and are very exited and proud about this. Your writing off of their work because it is associated with an airline diminishes all they have accomplished.

  9. I hope it includes some serving tips such as:

    Ask guests for their order using the past tense as in, “DID you want the chicken or beef?”

    Argue with guests as to what is on offer without knowing yourself.

    “Drop” the tray in front of guests because to place the tray carefully would take the FA’s attention off of safety issues like preparing for an ocean ditching in 30 minutes or accusing a passenger of taking an improper photo.

    When a guest says “thank you” responding with, “a ha;” “no problem;” or just grunting.

  10. I love how funny this post is. I’d love it if you put in more of your personality on your posts like you used to a long time ago šŸ™‚

  11. “Does it recommend announcing to your guests at a dinner party that youā€™re there for primarily for their safety” lol

  12. You make fun of them. Their planes are full. Enough of you dumb nuts still fly them even if you are hating on them.

  13. I hope American follows United’s lead on this one. I am still curious to find out which ingredients I need for their very own interpretation of a “Lobster Roll”.

    Overall hilarious blog post. Thanks!

  14. Very well written, had a good laugh.

    Maybe you can have the idiot who came up with this write a guest article on the fine secrets of catering on US airlines.

  15. @Lucky

    If I were to purchase this book (very tempted for the price and laughs) could you repost some of the highlights possibly in your own words I find for journalism purposes without any copyright infringement?

  16. Make sure you buy the United Polaris Cookbook & Apron Gift Set. Needed to have the full on United experience at home. The United Polaris Apron will set the mood to give your guests the appropriate attitude from you they deserve.

  17. @ NoGoodDeed
    “In addition to making fun of airline food, you are making fun of these people, a great non profit, and their combined dreams”

    Nonsense. United has attempted to whitewash its appalling post-Dr Dao reputation by being seen to do some charitable work. The charitable work is to be most welcomed.

    That doesn’t mean United then gets a free pass for being so crap, and any trust that sides with United’s attempts to launder its reputation should accept that its own reputation might well suffer a bit in the mingling. But if you sup with the devil, you should expect some consequences.

  18. Remember the Singapore Airlines cookbook featuring International Culinary Panel, released back in 2010? That was a gem. Especially loved the Lobster Thermidor recipe, it never gets old since first time had it in 1999 (when their now-retired 747 just renovated with then-new first class) and still is my go-to dish when flying SQ, good as always.
    If you wanted a copy, thereā€™s few stores still selling them on Amazon. Search ā€œSingapore Airlines cookbookā€ on Google and have a look yourself.

  19. We now know what Mr. Dao’s settlement was – a hundred copies of The Polaris Cookbook featuring hundreds of recipes to make your mouth water and nose bleed šŸ˜‰
    The best recipe called the United Signature features an exit procedure for when you are being dragged off the plane. It advises proper postures and gives recommendations to safely exit the overbooked plane.

  20. I wonder if UA will include the extra salt airlines add. I’ve had some great meals on UA and some bad Ones.

  21. This is one of the funniest posts for some time! I just came back from back to back flights in Swiss Air business and United Polaris hard product, and it was a reminder how the rest of the world compares with the big three US airlines (who do not seem to have a clue about the outside world). The biggest improvements for United are no doubt the Polaris lounges for international business class, and I pity the domestic United Club members who suffer next door. The new Polaris seats are excellent, but the food and service are slowly degrading. The “seasonal” dishes are as Lucky said not changed much of the year, the wines promised on the printout often not available and the flight attendants hardly know the difference. The last hilarious change was no nuts on the ice cream – possibly the next change is omitting even the ice cream itself.

  22. If your dinner guests refuse to leave after having one of these delicious Polaris meals, call the local cops to have them dragged across the dining room floor kicking and screaming.

  23. I do appreciate the humor, but there are some very tasty Polaris business class meals. And I’m certain not having to cook, blast chill, cover with foil, slowly reheat and then consume–all in an atmosphere where your taste buds are dulled…. will add to the perceived taste and quality.

  24. Several years ago – American Airlines sent Plat Exec members a xmas gift of their first class dining ‘cookbook’ They actually showed a recipe on how to make ice cream sundae in a glass!! Thought it was fun…United does try to use name chef – guess they are trying to show what it really should be..I am a ua 1k lifer and aa gold lifer — lots of sundaes and ‘sorry not available’!!

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