Airport Lounge Or Psychological Torture?

Hello from Kiev!

We are (slowly) making our way back from Baku, and are presently luxuriating in the Ukraine International Business class lounge, which the Kiev airport boastfully describes as:

Business lounges of the Boryspil International Airport provide an exclusive atmosphere of respectability and comfort in which you can get ready for a pleasant trip as well as effectively work prior to the departure of your flight.

kiev-lounge

I think we might have some different ideas about what “effectively work” means, because unless you’re an aspiring UN translator or airhorn operator I don’t see how anyone could possibly get anything done here.

Not only is the general noise level of the lounge ridiculous (apparently headphones and silenced phones aren’t a thing here?), but the announcements for departing flights are out. of. control.

Ben helpfully took a video, so y’all can share this experience with us:

Every flight is called in English, Ukrainian, and the official language of the destination city. Loudly. And it’s not like this is an airport with only five daily flights or something. There are dozens of flight every hour, and multiple (maybe 18?) announcements per flight, so the broadcasts have been constant.

kiev-departures

Truly, we’ve been here for 90 minutes and there hasn’t been a single break in the cacophony.

Luckily for us, our flight is delayed four hours, so we have even more time to enjoy the ambiance!

I’ve been in a lot of lounges, but can’t remember ever experiencing an auditory experience quite like this.

One thing is for sure — there is no excuse for not knowing if your flight is boarding in Kiev!

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italdesign Guest

I'm on hold with Asiana call center. The following "message" is being looped EVERY 5 SECONDS. "We apologize. We're receiving a high volume of calls. The next available agent will be transferred to you. Please hold. With the passenger's name, reservation #, date of travel, and route, you can reconfirm your reservation at us.flyasiana.com, or our mobile app. You can also assign seats yourself without contacting us. Asiana Airlines, a member of Star Alliance, wants to present a more reliable and convenient way to travel. Our Star Alliance carriers fly all over the world to give you more convenient transfer options. Our Star Alliance Gold members are allowed access to all available lounges. Also, with your accrued Asiana mileage, you're eligible for free flights with our Star Alliance partners. Asiana Club members are also allowed to accrue miles on any of our Star Alliance operated flights. For more detailed information, please visit us.flyasiana.com. All of our agents are on the line. Your call is important to us. Please hold. You can also make reservations, check flight schedules, check in, and receive Asiana Club information at us.flyasiana.com. All of our agents are on the line. Your call is important to us. Please hold."

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Ken Guest

Does anyone else say "ze ambiance" in Lucky's dad's voice every time they read it?

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FrequentFlyer Guest

Maybe you can find another lounge next time if you have a Priority Pass membership to avoid the constant unnecessary announcement.

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Henry Young Guest

So you learned some Ukrainian ?

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Bill Guest

When I first read this title, I assumed that you would be complaining about how the biscuits didn't have any chocolate chips in them, or about how a waiter didn't clear your cup away quickly enough or something

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