How To Deal With Loud Sex In Hotels?

Confession time: I’m a germaphobe… and I live in hotels and on airplanes. But I have the ability to selectively tune things out.

That tea or coffee I’m drinking on a plane? Yeah, I try not to think about where the water is coming from. The sheets and toilet area in my hotel room? I try not to put too much thought into it. But there are some things you just can’t ignore…

Well, tonight is a new one for me. In the hotel room next to me, either there’s a rescue effort to save a beached whale, or two (or possibly more?) people are going at it for a really, really long time. Lets just say that the female has already had a three course meal, but is still hungry (or perhaps is being paid by the hour and trying to make “big daddy” feel good).

I’ve spent hundreds of nights in hotel rooms, but never have I heard something this loud…

There are cuffs. There’s stuff in peoples’ mouths (other than body parts). There’s “oh daddying.”

I. Just. Can’t. Deal.

What’s the correct protocol here? Earmuffs? Ask to switch rooms? Take a quick trip out of the hotel?

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Craig M Wood Guest

If you pack a small air horn, its hard to tell where the noise came from and wakes up everyone! Packing some M180 Firecrackers works well too! Yell, its too loud, I can't explain it to security, they coming and bringing the police! Its amazing how quiet it gets after a M180 goes off.

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Garrett Guest

Ok, this is way behind...just reading this now really. I've been on the other end. I did a little staycation thing with my partner in the nicest part of town. We weren't intentionally being loud at 3:30AM. We were both a bit drunk, and maybe a little bit too verbal. We were at a nice hotel in Beverly Hills, and they addressed the issue in a nice way. I'm sure someone complained (I probably would have too), they called the room, let the phone ring once, and then ended the call. It was just enough to shake us out of our little zone. I was a little embarrassed, but they accomplished their goal in a smooth and efficient manner.

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Medaurus Guest

Actually had it twice already with my neighbors in casablanca, Teneriffe (where I still am), asked the neighbors to be more silent the next time, after they were done, and just went to the pool during it, pretty quiet there at 1 am. Good that I am here for vacation...

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napos Guest

I had this happen to me in Stamford CT of all places. I should have known a "contemporary" hotel in downtown translates to hook up central. The walls were super thin in this hotel and the next door Russian couple really enjoyed going at it for about 3 hours. About 45 minutes in I want to congratulate them that they didn't have a heart attack already. It sounded exhausting. Seriously, incredible stamina. Shortly there after I fell asleep... definitely with a smile on my face and eager to tell my co-workers the next day. :)

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Ivan Y Diamond

@ abby - do you blog? Your comment was awesome! :D @ lucky - when you saw them, you should've asked when they are going to meet again to determine whether you need to request a room change. "Excuse me, Mr./Ms. Manager, could you please move me to a different room because guest in Room #### is going to have a professional companion over again tomorrow and I'd prefer not to be disturbed by their hours-long sexcapades." :P

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