Airplane seating arrangements can be complicated, especially when you’re traveling with others — some airlines charge to assign seats, some airlines don’t assign seats in advance, some people may book last minute and not be able to reserve seats together, etc.
There’s only so much that airline reservations agents and gate agents can do to seat people together, so often if you want to sit together, you may be relying on the kindness of strangers. In this post I wanted to share my general philosophy on switching seats with other passengers — what’s the best way to go about asking, and under what circumstances do I agree to switch seats?
In this post:
When should you switch seats with others on airplanes?
When it comes to onboard seat swaps, I have a few thoughts both for the person asking to switch seats, and for the person being asked to switch seats.
If you’re the one asking to switch seats:
- Try to be as fair as possible — ideally ask someone to swap comparable seats, meaning an aisle for an aisle, or offer them a better seat, like an aisle seat in exchange for a middle seat
- Don’t take someone’s seat without asking — if you want someone to switch seats, don’t actually take their seat without asking first (which comes across as presumptuous), but rather try to approach them as they get to their seat
- It can never hurt to ask, and tone matters — there’s something to be said for the way in which you ask someone to switch seats, as there’s a big difference between saying “yeah I took your seat but you don’t mind switching, right?” and saying “is there any chance you wouldn’t mind switching seats with XYZ, we weren’t able to get seats together?”
- Accept no for an answer — someone made a decision to assign a specific seat (and possibly paid to assign it), so if they deny you, don’t badger them or be rude if they say they’d like to keep their seat
If you’re the one being asked to switch seats:
- You should never feel pressured to change seats — ultimately you assigned a seat and are entitled to sit there, so don’t feel pressure to change seats
- Recognize there may be reasons people couldn’t sit together — try to be compassionate, as you don’t know what others are going through; for example, people could have booked a flight last minute because they’re headed to a funeral
- Be polite — I think this should be true for just about any interaction in general, but respond politely, and if you’d like, maybe even explain why you prefer the seat you have (for example “I like an aisle seat because I go to the bathroom often,” “I like a window seat because I like looking out the window,” or “I don’t want to be in a bulkhead because I have a bag that I want to keep at my feet”)
My policy on switching airplane seats
While I don’t think you should feel like you have to switch seats, I still will in a vast majority of cases. My philosophy is quite simple:
- I’ll always honor a seat change request if it’s a similar type of seat (a non-bulkhead aisle for a non-bulkhead aisle, a bulkhead window on one side for a bulkhead window on another side, etc.) and I’m not traveling with someone
- While I generally prefer window seats, I’ll almost always agree to switch to an aisle seat (or other non-horrible seat) if the person is polite about their request, and if I feel like they have a legitimate reason to ask for the request (in other words, not just that they like a window seat more than I do, but rather that they’re traveling with a loved one)
- At the end of the day I’m fortunate to travel as much as I do, I recognize a lot of people have less vacation time and travel may be even more special for them, and if I can allow a couple or family to sit together by slightly inconveniencing myself, that’s a small price to pay to make someone else happy
Ironically, I’m too sheepish to ask others for similar seat change requests. I’ll politely ask others to make a switch to an identical seat in another row, but personally I couldn’t bring myself to ask someone to switch their type of seat.
The one exception is when I’m traveling in economy with someone, where I typically book an aisle and a window seat, hoping the middle seat stays empty. When it doesn’t stay empty, I’ll offer the person in the middle seat the window or aisle seat, and I’ve never been turned down. I think that’s fair, and a win-win.
But please, folks, don’t be ridiculous, like that time I flew MIAT Mongolian from Ulaanbaatar to Frankfurt, and was asked by a passenger if I could move from business class to economy class so that a woman could sit next to her husband. That’s just greedy — the correct etiquette there would be to ask the person sitting next to your husband in economy if they want to sit in business class.
Bottom line
On just about every flight there are several people looking to switch seats, to be able to sit next to travel companions. I think it’s perfectly fine to ask others to accommodate this, though don’t be surprised if you’re rejected. If you’re going to ask others to switch seats, try to be as fair as possible, and swap for a comparable or worse seat, rather than for a better seat.
Personally I try to be very accommodating of seat change requests. Life is short, and I want to do what I can to help people spend as much time as possible with their friends and loved ones, even if it’s just a few hours on a plane. That being said, I don’t count on the same courtesy in return. If I’m traveling with a friend or loved one and it’s a “reasonable” swap I’ll certainly ask nicely, but there are no hard feelings if they don’t honor it.
I’m curious to hear what OMAAT readers think — what’s your policy on airplane seat swaps?
Usually I am not willing to change because I chose the seat I am interested in. This said if it is an even exchange I will sometimes agree or even offer. I was on a flight in business class a few months ago and I had one of those single seats that has aisle and window access and I offered to move to the opposite side a couple of rows difference so that a family could be in the same row. I thought that was an equivalent change.
I will also do what @Ben does and book an aisle and a window in economy. It used to work a lot. Now it's sort of pointless. But we still do. Anyway, funniest thing ever was when my youngest son was a teenager. I was in the aisle and he was in the window. I offered the woman in the middle the window. Like @Ben, I'd never been turned down before. But she said "I'll...
I will also do what @Ben does and book an aisle and a window in economy. It used to work a lot. Now it's sort of pointless. But we still do. Anyway, funniest thing ever was when my youngest son was a teenager. I was in the aisle and he was in the window. I offered the woman in the middle the window. Like @Ben, I'd never been turned down before. But she said "I'll take the aisle." I said, "the aisle isn't on offer." So, she stayed in the middle between us. For five hours.
Even if the content is a re-tread I think Ben's approach is spot on and I wish everyone would follow it. I've been called up by the gate agent once or twice and asked to agree to a swap pre-boarding (it was within F) which I was fine with (I gave up a window for a middle with aisle access).
I am a 1K and sometimes when with the family we will get some very...
Even if the content is a re-tread I think Ben's approach is spot on and I wish everyone would follow it. I've been called up by the gate agent once or twice and asked to agree to a swap pre-boarding (it was within F) which I was fine with (I gave up a window for a middle with aisle access).
I am a 1K and sometimes when with the family we will get some very last minute upgrades. My kids are 6 and 9, well behaved but still too young to sit alone and a few times we have very politely (and successfully) asked whether someone would move within F to an equivalent seat. I have also turned down upgrades when it was clear that the logistics wouldn't be feasible.
Anyway -- the late clearing upgrade is one reason for late assigned seats that can be beyond someone's control.
I was on a 13-hour flight aboard an Emirates 777 with my family in economy. My wife and kids were in the three seats against the window and I was right across the aisle in the aisle seat in the middle section (my wife and I switched seats for the return flight so we had equal time with the kids....or without the kids).
After we boarded, the lady sitting next to be asked to switch...
I was on a 13-hour flight aboard an Emirates 777 with my family in economy. My wife and kids were in the three seats against the window and I was right across the aisle in the aisle seat in the middle section (my wife and I switched seats for the return flight so we had equal time with the kids....or without the kids).
After we boarded, the lady sitting next to be asked to switch with me so she could have the aisle and I would be in the middle. Even more jarring is that I would have been sitting between her and her child. Pretty crazy request.
The well seems to be running dry in terms of posts now that Ben isn't on the road as much!
My standard response to the requestor or the FA is, "I'm comfortable where I am, Thank You!"
First and foremost if you want to sit together with your traveling companion then buy the seats together. One reason I usually either buy first or pay the cash upgrade fee is to get the seat that I like, a bulkhead window.
Other than that it should be the same seat (aisle/window) in the same area. No asking to exchange 8A for 14A.
I always decline seat swap requests when the other person sits in my seat & then makes the request, no matter how reasonable it otherwise would’ve been. Must punish Bad Behavior LOL
1. Why should your poor planning become my problem?
2. There is this amazing feature where, months before your flight even, you can actually pay to reserve any seat in the cabin – why not try that next time?
@Daniel, as @Ben said, you never know why someone is booking last minute. Not everyone can plan everything months in advance. Death and illness are, in particular, annoyingly unpredictible.
A very important factor is whether you paid to choose the seat you are in. If I paid for a window seat I wouldn't change it with anyone, unless it was in a higher category than the one I paid for. On the other hand, if the airline randomly assigned it to me, I would have no objection to change it for another one.
If, as an elite, you can assign yourself a chargeable seat free of charge due to your status, do you consider that paying?
WOW. just wow. How cold.
Or let's do it Taiwan style.
First Blood that mofo.
What really blows my mind is when the people who want to switch are assigned seats in different cabins (say Y+ and Y-) always seem to try to switch up to the Y+ seat instead of the other way around. I get that some people genuinely don’t know and they just think to grab the first seat they get to, but when some people get mad when I suggest maybe they ask the person in...
What really blows my mind is when the people who want to switch are assigned seats in different cabins (say Y+ and Y-) always seem to try to switch up to the Y+ seat instead of the other way around. I get that some people genuinely don’t know and they just think to grab the first seat they get to, but when some people get mad when I suggest maybe they ask the person in the back if they want to move up it’s obnoxious.
The only times I have entertained the idea of such a trade is in situations where it’s a parent with a young child and they have a middle seat in Y+ and an aisle/window in Y-. While it’s still a downgrade for me, I get that for many people a middle seat in Y+ is objectively worse than an aisle/window in Y- and I usually will do it, especially if it’s a short flight.
Before accepting a request to switch seats, be sure to ask to see the other passenger's boarding pass. You might be told that you are exchanging, say, an aisle seat for an aisle seat, but the pass will show you what you will really get, like a middle seat.
I haven't seen this happen (though I've read a couple of anecdotes), but in this scenario why wouldn't you simply return to your original seat with an FA in tow and evict the bum?
You could do that, but asking to see the pass up front avoids the trouble.
What % of these seat switch bullies paid for basic economy, then expect to get more than what they paid for? I'd say probably around 80%. I chose the seat I have for a reason, and I probably paid extra for it. If your seat is not better to me than the seat I chose, then I expect compensation...minimum offer is $100. If your offer is nothing, then you already know the answer. Sadly these...
What % of these seat switch bullies paid for basic economy, then expect to get more than what they paid for? I'd say probably around 80%. I chose the seat I have for a reason, and I probably paid extra for it. If your seat is not better to me than the seat I chose, then I expect compensation...minimum offer is $100. If your offer is nothing, then you already know the answer. Sadly these seat change bullies are emboldened by the many spineless saps that accept being taken advantage of.
Maybe an unpopular view, but provided that someone follows the other guidelines here, I don't mind if they take my seat before asking. I'd rather that than having them hovering in the aisle obstructing the flow of traffic until I arrive, or else settle into their own seat and then have to make a commotion trying to pull and re-stow their bags in the middle of boarding. It doesn't aggravate me because I assume that...
Maybe an unpopular view, but provided that someone follows the other guidelines here, I don't mind if they take my seat before asking. I'd rather that than having them hovering in the aisle obstructing the flow of traffic until I arrive, or else settle into their own seat and then have to make a commotion trying to pull and re-stow their bags in the middle of boarding. It doesn't aggravate me because I assume that they have something equal or better to offer me (and I've found that assumption is usually correct if I'm booked in the front of the plane or even MCE/C+/etc., since it tends to be more experienced travelers seated in those cabins, at least as compared to coach).
And in the unusual cases where they don't have something better, I don't hesitate to turn them down and send them packing - which of course creates a disturbance as well, but one can always hope that the annoyed treatment from FAs and other pax after their walk of shame back to their own seat will leave an impression.
I would never ask someone to change seats with me and this is how I feel when asked: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0oiELbPB3E
Do another post on tipping after this one.
Touché .
“Do another post on tipping” sounds like an order rather than a request. Clearly you either did not read the article or do not understand the meaning of asking courteously.