Seven things not to do while flying

A few weeks ago I posted about my seven hotel habits, so figured I’d make a post today about seven things NOT to do when flying. All seven of them were observed on a run of the mill domestic trip last night, and they’re pretty common. Just my opinion, and I realize some will disagree on a couple of the below points.

Don’t give a complimentary lap dance

I’m an aisle guy, though I’ll get up quickly and without complaints whenever the person in the window needs to get up. However, please, please, please don’t give me a lap dance. Please. Instead of telling me he was seated next to me during boarding, my seatmate simply got on top of me and held onto the back of my seat to squeeze his way into the window seat next to me. Unfortunately he didn’t have the build of a gymnast and got stuck while he was on top of me, and that was just a little bit awkward. He could’ve told me he was seated there and I would’ve been up before he finished his sentence.

Don’t stare at someone else’s laptop screen

This has to be my single biggest pet peeve. You ever try to get work done on an airplane, only to find that your seatmate is reading every single word you’re writing (kind of like mine is as I’m writing this post)? Yeah, admittedly there’s not all that much else to do on an airplane, but please don’t stare.

Don’t place any valuables in the bins at security

By the time I get to the security checkpoint I already have my phone, wallet, keys, and ID in the front pouch of my laptop bag. Never leave valuables in the bin, because some TSA agents do enjoy magically having stolen stuff end up in their home. It’ll also speed up the screening process.

Don’t rock out

Did I say staring at someone else’s laptop screen was my biggest airplane pet peeve? I lied, this definitely is. Listening to music can be a good way to pass time on planes, but the foot tapping, hand tapping, head bobbing, and humming can wait till you’re at home or in your own shower.

Don’t use mobile boarding passes

I know many will disagree with me on this one. I’m all for technology making our lives easier, and there’s no doubt it does in many areas… mobile boarding passes isn’t one of them, in my opinion.

Some people swear by them, but more often than not I see them holding up the line either because the boarding pass won’t load, they’re getting a phone call or text message, or it won’t scan. Mobile boarding passes hold up the line all the time.

Don’t throw your jacket at a captain dealing with (or making up) a maintenance delay thinking he’s a flight attendant

For that matter, don’t throw your jacket at anyone. But especially not at a less-than-happy captain after he returns from doing his walkaround.

Do watch people greeting loved ones in the arrivals hall

Screw it, we’ll only have six “don’ts” today, and one “do.” I arrived at Tampa Airport a bit early yesterday, and one of the nice things about the terminal is that the departure and arrivals area are in the same place.

Usually I walk with purpose in airports and could get around in my sleep. But I think as a result I’ve missed what has to be one of the most beautiful aspects of the airport experience.

Have you ever sat in the arrivals area for 10 minutes and just watched people greet loved ones? It really is kind of refreshing in this day and age where the importance of family seems to be lost. You see people greeting their spouses, kids greeting their grandparents, parents greeting their kids, etc.

I sat in the arrivals area for maybe 10 minutes smiling from all the happiness I saw. Try it some time.