People stay at hotels for all kinds of reasons. For leisure guests, it’s common to travel for some sort of a special occasion, like a birthday, anniversary, or honeymoon. Many travelers will let hotels know of those special occasions in advance, in hopes of scoring something extra.
The thing is, it seems like these kinds of initiatives lead to disappointment almost as often as they delight, so to me it raises an interesting question — what should hotels really do for guests, and what is it reasonable to expect?
In this post:
Managing expectations for hotel guest special occasions
I recently had a conversation with the general manager of a luxury hotel (which shall remain nameless), and the topic of special occasions while staying at hotels came up. He revealed to me in a non-snarky way that at his property, the average length of stay is two nights, and roughly one-third of guests let the hotel know of a special occasion.
Reading between the lines, I picked up a couple of points:
- It’s hard for hotels to manage expectations, since people expect that they’re going to get some sort of special treatment when they’re celebrating something, but when so many people are “special,” it becomes harder to deliver
- There has definitely been an increasing trend of people claiming they’re celebrating an anniversary, without actually substantiating it; I mean, there are an endless number of social media posts out there telling people that a “hack” to get something for free at a hotel is to just claim it’s a special occasion (some hotels have even started asking guests to prove special occasions)
So all of this raises the question of what hotels are really expected to deliver when a guest is celebrating a special occasion. Admittedly I think the answer should vary based on the size of the hotel, the cost of the hotel, and how special of an occasion it is. However, that still leaves a lot of questions:
- Is recognizing a special occasion about just having staff wish the guest a happy [occasion] at check-in or on a card, or something else?
- Or is the expectation that a special occasion gets you something special of monetary value, whether it’s a cake, a bottle of champagne, or something along those lines?
- Is it unreasonable for a hotel to just congratulate you on your occasion, and then send you a list of paid add-ons you can add to your rate, whether it’s a cake, a bottle of champagne, or flowers?
- To what extent does the occasion matter? Should a 50th wedding anniversary be treated differently than traveling within a week of three years of when you met your spouse?
As an introvert, my opinion is probably off base here
I’m rather introverted, so personally I hate having special occasion recognized. Like, if I want to celebrate something, that’s on me, and I don’t expect anyone else to be part of it. Heck, if we go out to dinner on my birthday, I beg Ford to not tell the restaurant what day it is. And if they sing, or something, I just want to sink into my seat and disappear. I’m weird, I know.
Of course I’ll say that I feel very differently about this topic as a father. We took our older son, Miles, to the St. Regis Kanai Resort for his third birthday last year, and they did an incredible job making it special for him. They really went above and beyond, and I was very grateful for that, because obviously that means a lot to a little kid (it was his first birthday where he really understood it was his birthday).
That being said, I had no expectations of them doing that, I would’ve gladly paid for whatever they did, and since they didn’t charge, I also tipped generously for the effort.
But still, it raises the question, what’s the right way for hotels to handle these kinds of situations? Should they offer anything extra “free” at all for special occasions? Should they offer something basic for free, and then have a variety of paid options to go the extra mile? Is the expectation that they just consistently go all out?
One reason I mention this is because I’ll often see complaints online about a negative hotel stay, and people will say “they didn’t even do anything for our special occasion,” and I guess I always wonder what the realistic expectation is. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, I’m just curious to hear how others feel.
Bottom line
Hotels seem to be dealing with an increasing number of guests celebrating special occasions, or more accurately, an increasing number of guests claiming that they’re celebrating something. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does pose a challenge for hotels, since people have expectations associated with that.
I’d be curious to hear what folks think about what hotels should realistically do in these situations. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, but it does seem like something that’s posing a challenge for some hoteliers.
When you stay at a hotel over a special occasion, what do you think should realistically be offered?
Not birthday nor anniversary but one of the most amazing experiences I ever had at a hotel with my kids. I had booked 2 regular rooms using points at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona for a 5 night stay with my family of four. I had had a few email exchanges with the hotel staff regarding restaurant recommendations and other things to do in Barcelona but never made any social request or expected anything. All...
Not birthday nor anniversary but one of the most amazing experiences I ever had at a hotel with my kids. I had booked 2 regular rooms using points at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona for a 5 night stay with my family of four. I had had a few email exchanges with the hotel staff regarding restaurant recommendations and other things to do in Barcelona but never made any social request or expected anything. All I expected was the two regular rooms I had booked. When we arrived at the hotel we were welcomed by the staff in a different way that I was not expecting. They were literally excited to welcome us with many staff members coming to introduce themselves to us including the hotel manager. I noticed that while I was checking in, the staff were interacting with my boys (at that time 14 and 10yo) and asking them several questions but I did not think about anything special. Well, during the check in, the hotel manager told me they had upgraded us to the penthouse suite since we would be more comfortable than having two regular rooms. Ok!! We were escorted to a special elevator and had to go through a second elevator to get tour our suite. There was a special concierge just for a few special suites and the penthouse and when they opened the door we were in shock. It was by fart the most amazing room we had ever seen. It was a two floor apartment with a 360 view of Barcelona, full size kith, dining room, 3 bathrooms, two bedrooms etc.... It was unbelievable for someone that had booked 2 rooms with points. During the 5 nights we stayed there they treated us like royalty. We had chilled sparkling wine left in our room, special treats for the kids, fruits, juices, etc... They were amazing until they really delivered a home run at the last night. We got to our room to put the kids to bed and when we opened the door the kids started to scream. They had decorated the entire room with balloons with the names of my kids and very large pictures of their favorite sport players and they favorite teams, there we balls for them to take, bottles of chocolate milk and a full size cake that could serve 12 people. They had signed cards by the staff saying it was a pleasure to get to know my kids. I was in total disbelief. I asked my kids how they knew their favorite players and sports teams and they remembered they asked them during the check in 5 days earlier. We have had amazing stays at very upscale hotels but none beats this special one.
nothing.
Sometimes they give you + companion a voucher for a free glass of bubbly at the bar.
At a high end property better soft treatment
A room.
The problem with an adult's birthday is that literally nobody cares.