People stay at hotels for all kinds of reasons. For leisure guests, it’s common to travel for some sort of a special occasion, like a birthday, anniversary, or honeymoon. Many travelers will let hotels know of those special occasions in advance, in hopes of scoring something extra.
The thing is, it seems like these kinds of initiatives lead to disappointment almost as often as they delight, so to me it raises an interesting question — what should hotels really do for guests, and what is it reasonable to expect?
In this post:
Managing expectations for hotel guest special occasions
I recently had a conversation with the general manager of a luxury hotel (which shall remain nameless), and the topic of special occasions while staying at hotels came up. He revealed to me in a non-snarky way that at his property, the average length of stay is two nights, and roughly one-third of guests let the hotel know of a special occasion.
Reading between the lines, I picked up a couple of points:
- It’s hard for hotels to manage expectations, since people expect that they’re going to get some sort of special treatment when they’re celebrating something, but when so many people are “special,” it becomes harder to deliver
- There has definitely been an increasing trend of people claiming they’re celebrating an anniversary, without actually substantiating it; I mean, there are an endless number of social media posts out there telling people that a “hack” to get something for free at a hotel is to just claim it’s a special occasion (some hotels have even started asking guests to prove special occasions)
So all of this raises the question of what hotels are really expected to deliver when a guest is celebrating a special occasion. Admittedly I think the answer should vary based on the size of the hotel, the cost of the hotel, and how special of an occasion it is. However, that still leaves a lot of questions:
- Is recognizing a special occasion about just having staff wish the guest a happy [occasion] at check-in or on a card, or something else?
- Or is the expectation that a special occasion gets you something special of monetary value, whether it’s a cake, a bottle of champagne, or something along those lines?
- Is it unreasonable for a hotel to just congratulate you on your occasion, and then send you a list of paid add-ons you can add to your rate, whether it’s a cake, a bottle of champagne, or flowers?
- To what extent does the occasion matter? Should a 50th wedding anniversary be treated differently than traveling within a week of three years of when you met your spouse?
As an introvert, my opinion is probably off base here
I’m rather introverted, so personally I hate having special occasion recognized. Like, if I want to celebrate something, that’s on me, and I don’t expect anyone else to be part of it. Heck, if we go out to dinner on my birthday, I beg Ford to not tell the restaurant what day it is. And if they sing, or something, I just want to sink into my seat and disappear. I’m weird, I know.
Of course I’ll say that I feel very differently about this topic as a father. We took our older son, Miles, to the St. Regis Kanai Resort for his third birthday last year, and they did an incredible job making it special for him. They really went above and beyond, and I was very grateful for that, because obviously that means a lot to a little kid (it was his first birthday where he really understood it was his birthday).
That being said, I had no expectations of them doing that, I would’ve gladly paid for whatever they did, and since they didn’t charge, I also tipped generously for the effort.
But still, it raises the question, what’s the right way for hotels to handle these kinds of situations? Should they offer anything extra “free” at all for special occasions? Should they offer something basic for free, and then have a variety of paid options to go the extra mile? Is the expectation that they just consistently go all out?
One reason I mention this is because I’ll often see complaints online about a negative hotel stay, and people will say “they didn’t even do anything for our special occasion,” and I guess I always wonder what the realistic expectation is. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, I’m just curious to hear how others feel.
Bottom line
Hotels seem to be dealing with an increasing number of guests celebrating special occasions, or more accurately, an increasing number of guests claiming that they’re celebrating something. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does pose a challenge for hotels, since people have expectations associated with that.
I’d be curious to hear what folks think about what hotels should realistically do in these situations. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, but it does seem like something that’s posing a challenge for some hoteliers.
When you stay at a hotel over a special occasion, what do you think should realistically be offered?
Birthdays and anniversary… if only there was a ‘job’ they could offer…
I read a ton of complaints from cruise passengers on this topic. Complaining that the cruise line didn't do enough to celebrate (insert special occasion) even though they told them. On a 5,000 person 7-night cruise, the law of averages tells us ~96 passengers will celebrate a birthday. Obviously that number is even higher on a cruise since so many people plan trips specifically for their birthday. Add in all of the honeymooners, retirement celebrations,...
I read a ton of complaints from cruise passengers on this topic. Complaining that the cruise line didn't do enough to celebrate (insert special occasion) even though they told them. On a 5,000 person 7-night cruise, the law of averages tells us ~96 passengers will celebrate a birthday. Obviously that number is even higher on a cruise since so many people plan trips specifically for their birthday. Add in all of the honeymooners, retirement celebrations, anniversaries, etc. and there are now thousands of "special days." Is it feasible to recognize or do something special for this many people? I like the idea of paid add-ons as an option. Perhaps businesses can recognize their top guests, or guests staying in the most expensive suites.
I typically dont expect anything, and like you, Ben, will just pay for add ons if the event is something special. However, our honeymoon was at the Mango House LXR in the Seychelles, and we noted it was our honeymoon when making the reservation, and while communicating with the hotel before hand (to arrange transfer, tours and spa treatments). I thought they might try to make it special for us, but really spending 5 nights...
I typically dont expect anything, and like you, Ben, will just pay for add ons if the event is something special. However, our honeymoon was at the Mango House LXR in the Seychelles, and we noted it was our honeymoon when making the reservation, and while communicating with the hotel before hand (to arrange transfer, tours and spa treatments). I thought they might try to make it special for us, but really spending 5 nights at such a small resort was treat enough.
When we arrived there was no mention of our honeymoon at check-in. There was a standard welcome gift waiting in our room (fruit and a bottle of wine) with a card from the manager, but no mention of the honeymoon. On our last night we mentioned to the waitress at dinner, who we had got to know on a first name basis by that point, that it was our honeymoon, and she seemed surprised. She got us a big dessert at the end of the dinner with sparklers and a "Happy Honeymoon" chocolate sign. We were very happy with that. After a nightcap at the bar, we returned to our room for the night, and the entire room was made up with rose petals, flowers, and a huge cake and fruit platter and two bottles of what ended up being a very nice South African sparkling wine. There was a handwritten card from all of the bartenders, waiters and waitresses we got to know over the week staying there, which we kept and still have. I'm fairly certain the waitress tipped off the manager, and they went over board to make us feel special. To me that was more touching than a card and bottle of champagne at check-in.
It was probably 12-14 years ago, my wife and I stayed at a local Residence Inn several towns over for our anniversary. My folks watched our 2 year old. It was just a one night getaway. I received a welcome email from the manager (haven't gotten those in years) so I a said it was our anniversary and would she recommend a local restaurant, she emailed back 3 or so options.
At check-in we...
It was probably 12-14 years ago, my wife and I stayed at a local Residence Inn several towns over for our anniversary. My folks watched our 2 year old. It was just a one night getaway. I received a welcome email from the manager (haven't gotten those in years) so I a said it was our anniversary and would she recommend a local restaurant, she emailed back 3 or so options.
At check-in we got a congratulations with our welcome. Nice, sweet, I thought that was it. Ten minutes later when we were unpacking in our room, knock on the door. It's the check-in person with a handful of candy bars and a pint of ice cream from their store. He also gave us 2 coupons for a glass of wine at the Courtyard across the parking lot.
Not expected, nothing exciting but a happy memory my wife and I will always have
Sometimes the limited service properties end up doing more than a full service property. We stayed at the Hampton Inn and Suites Lake Placid (which is actually a beautiful property for the brand), and they brought us a cake and bottle of sparkling wine after we mentioned it was our anniversary at check-in. I didn't expect anything and only mentioned it because the person at the front desk asked why we were in town. We...
Sometimes the limited service properties end up doing more than a full service property. We stayed at the Hampton Inn and Suites Lake Placid (which is actually a beautiful property for the brand), and they brought us a cake and bottle of sparkling wine after we mentioned it was our anniversary at check-in. I didn't expect anything and only mentioned it because the person at the front desk asked why we were in town. We were really there for someone else's wedding, but it did happen to be on our anniversary weekend.
I don't understand how is this even a question. In any case, the answer is obvious: Whatever the guest pays for. There should be no expectation of the hotel providing freebies just because it's a special day for you. I mean, it's nice if they do, I occasionally get some nice amenity in the room for my birthday, but it should never be an expectation.
As with many things, hope for the best, expect the worst, and take what you get. Even if it is nothing.
I want the hotel to meet the energy I'm putting into the event.
and that means, usually, carrying on as usual.
Just leave me alone. Seriously, nothing special about a birthday, I'd rather party or meet friends when I want than on a schedule, but even the schedule is not business to a hotel/airline/etc.
At least home in the EU I also seriously doubt that they even are allowed to use personal data for anything inappropriate like this.
Of course they are allowed. They already have and process the data anyway. There's nothing illegal about throwing some gift in your room (I got a few on my birthday in various hotels across Europe), although I agree that it's unnecessary.
Nothing.
We should get an option, a cake or a bottle of booze. And the bottle of booze could be half a bottle as long as it's half way decent.
No one had a bad birthday, celebrating it with their friend, Mr. Jack Daniels.
No offense Ben but we need to stop calling lies “hacks.” It’s not a social media “hack” - when people lie about celebrating an occasion, it’s just that: a lie. And these social media influencer liars just ruin a ton for those of us who are honest about things. Call a spade a spade.
I’d be happy with a gator like Miles’
I often travel on my birthday usually staying as an Ambassador @ IC. So often a small cake perhaps bubbly. We’ll see in a few days at IC Sydney ;-)
I do like the idea of offering a preorder for most
BTW Toby @FBT hooked me up royally at the Shard a few BDays back.
Happy Pride!!
Maybe not quite apples to apples but how different are hotels and cruise ships. If you go on a cruise they put it on the website they offer special occasion items (cake, flowers, sparkling wine etc) and they list the price. I wouldn't be surprised if hotels started doing the same thing.
I recall reading a post from some hotel worker who said they're doing exactly that. Whenever someone entitled reaches out "letting the hotel know" about their special occasion, the person would reply with something along the lines of "congratulations, we can offer you a bottle of champagne for 75€, etc etc".
I appreciate recognition but never expect it. As for asking proof, sometimes it’s not possible to celebrate a birthday or anniversary on the exact day, week or month. I’ve taken birthday and anniversary trips weeks or months after the actual date.
They're in business to sell goods & services for profit. They owe you nothing for your birthday or anniversary. You wannit, you buy it.
I am always grateful. If something was recorded in a profile. Well thank you. I am in am in the if the hotel goes an extra step, just be thankful . Nothing should be expected.
We need to put an end to this entitlement culture we’ve built in society
I have no issue with people telling hotels it’s a special occasion (although stretching the truth just ruins it for everyone). But don’t be upset if you don’t get something. Lose the entitlement
We often travel on birthdays and anniversaries and I usually tell the hotel, especially when it is a big number (like our 40th anniversary). I find hotels will leave a bottle or wine or champagne and maybe a dessert or fruit and a nice note, similar to some welcome amenities from a Virtuoso booking for example. We often don't even drink the wine because if we have wine with dinner, that's enough for me. Still,...
We often travel on birthdays and anniversaries and I usually tell the hotel, especially when it is a big number (like our 40th anniversary). I find hotels will leave a bottle or wine or champagne and maybe a dessert or fruit and a nice note, similar to some welcome amenities from a Virtuoso booking for example. We often don't even drink the wine because if we have wine with dinner, that's enough for me. Still, I really appreciate the gesture, much more than when they offer paid amenities.
i will cop to the anniversary trick, but it's more of an inside joke with my partner and we don't expect to get anything of any real value for any personal celebration (real or otherwise). it's funny because we never tell each other but she or i have to clock it and play along on the fly. but at the end of the day, i don't think properties or restaurants "should" do anything beyond just some small token acknowledgment.
funny story on the topic, though - during our honeymoon, we had a stay at Alila Ventana and my concierge flagged that it was our honeymoon for the property, which then upgraded us to the Coast House Suite... but by the time we arrived at like 8pm, they had reassigned it to someone else. every room there is great, but it woulda been cool to experience the Coast House Suite.
Nothing asked for or expected. But, if you are a regular, the CRM system should cue the guest relations manager. And, a simple birthday card would be a nice touch.
I'm an extrovert and I think that hotels shouldn't take any interest in my birthdays and get themselves into hot water for GDPR (or equivalent) violations.
They literally are required to check ID with (usually) a date of birth
About the cake photo : Why would you use a corkscrew on a cake ? What are those round marbles on top ?
There is a bottle of something out of shot?
Nothing different than a usual stay, except if you are staying at a very expensive hotel like Four Seasons, or are a regular frequent guest.
The Guest Relations manager of our most frequently visited property sends us a text or calls every year on our wedding anniversary. After 25 years, we are good friends, so it has little to do with the hotel at this point.
Not birthday nor anniversary but one of the most amazing experiences I ever had at a hotel with my kids. I had booked 2 regular rooms using points at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona for a 5 night stay with my family of four. I had had a few email exchanges with the hotel staff regarding restaurant recommendations and other things to do in Barcelona but never made any social request or expected anything. All...
Not birthday nor anniversary but one of the most amazing experiences I ever had at a hotel with my kids. I had booked 2 regular rooms using points at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona for a 5 night stay with my family of four. I had had a few email exchanges with the hotel staff regarding restaurant recommendations and other things to do in Barcelona but never made any social request or expected anything. All I expected was the two regular rooms I had booked. When we arrived at the hotel we were welcomed by the staff in a different way that I was not expecting. They were literally excited to welcome us with many staff members coming to introduce themselves to us including the hotel manager. I noticed that while I was checking in, the staff were interacting with my boys (at that time 14 and 10yo) and asking them several questions but I did not think about anything special. Well, during the check in, the hotel manager told me they had upgraded us to the penthouse suite since we would be more comfortable than having two regular rooms. Ok!! We were escorted to a special elevator and had to go through a second elevator to get tour our suite. There was a special concierge just for a few special suites and the penthouse and when they opened the door we were in shock. It was by fart the most amazing room we had ever seen. It was a two floor apartment with a 360 view of Barcelona, full size kith, dining room, 3 bathrooms, two bedrooms etc.... It was unbelievable for someone that had booked 2 rooms with points. During the 5 nights we stayed there they treated us like royalty. We had chilled sparkling wine left in our room, special treats for the kids, fruits, juices, etc... They were amazing until they really delivered a home run at the last night. We got to our room to put the kids to bed and when we opened the door the kids started to scream. They had decorated the entire room with balloons with the names of my kids and very large pictures of their favorite sport players and they favorite teams, there we balls for them to take, bottles of chocolate milk and a full size cake that could serve 12 people. They had signed cards by the staff saying it was a pleasure to get to know my kids. I was in total disbelief. I asked my kids how they knew their favorite players and sports teams and they remembered they asked them during the check in 5 days earlier. We have had amazing stays at very upscale hotels but none beats this special one.
Because the Barcelona newspaper said you were a world cup soccer player .
Did they mistake you for someone else maybe?
nothing.
Sometimes they give you + companion a voucher for a free glass of bubbly at the bar.
At a high end property better soft treatment
A room.
To clarify, only what the special person pays for - nothing more nothing less.
I’ve had some great things from hotels for birthdays.
I only stayed a single night at the Myconian Kyma at the end of a trip to Greece on the day of my birthday, and they sent up a cake, truffles, and a bottle of champagne. I had no status or anything, it was just a nice gesture.
I’ve had similar during a longer stay at the Lindos Mare in Rhodes, a cake ,...
I’ve had some great things from hotels for birthdays.
I only stayed a single night at the Myconian Kyma at the end of a trip to Greece on the day of my birthday, and they sent up a cake, truffles, and a bottle of champagne. I had no status or anything, it was just a nice gesture.
I’ve had similar during a longer stay at the Lindos Mare in Rhodes, a cake , a card and a bottle of sparkling wine.
None of this was at any cost, just an email from my partner to the hotel reception before we went. It really makes for good memories when travelling.
The problem with an adult's birthday is that literally nobody cares.
Hahaha truth