Premium cabin airline seats have come a long way over the years. We’ve gone from recliners, to fully flat beds, to seats with doors, and now we even see some products that have double beds (or at least that’s how they’re marketed). That brings me to a question that a reader asked.
In this post:
What’s appropriate for couples in airplane double beds?
A gay OMAAT reader who asked to remain anonymous shared that he’s flying Qatar Airways Qsuites soon for the first time with his partner. With the Qatar Airways Qsuites having a “double bed” of sorts (often referred to as “honeymoon seats”), he wants to know if he’s putting them at risk by picking those seats and then having the beds made next to one another.
There are an increasing number of airlines offering some sort of double beds in first & business class, ranging from China Eastern, to Lufthansa, to Qatar Airways, to Singapore Airlines, and more. Among the airlines with such a product, Qatar no doubt has the strictest laws against homosexuality, at least on paper.
So, would I feel comfortable sleeping in the double bed next to Ford? Yes, 100%. First of all, keep in mind Qsuites doesn’t offer a true double bed — there are still separate footwells, so you’re not able to spoon (at least not for your bottom half), even if you wanted to, and felt comfortable doing so.
However, personally I wouldn’t recommend any sort of public displays of affection (PDA). That’s not necessarily due to being gay, but just because Qatar heavily frowns down on PDA (heck, in Qatar it’s appropriate for same sex people to greet one another with a kiss on the cheek, while it’s not appropriate for opposite sex people).
Don’t get me wrong, it’s highly unlikely you’d be “policed” in this way, but if your goal is to be 100% cautious, then it makes sense to avoid that.
While I can’t imagine it would ever come to this, I sort of wonder if giving someone a kiss before going to sleep on a plane qualifies as PDA? You’re in a suite with a door, though the door isn’t so high, and people can still look over it. So technically if you give your spouse (gay or straight) a peck on the cheek, is that PDA (specifically, the “public” part of “PDA”)? I don’t know. Like I said, that’s theoretical.
But seriously, there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of with sleeping next to your travel companion in Qsuites, whether it’s your girlfriend, husband, cousin, grandma, sidepiece, stuffed animal, or whatever.
So my advice is yes, sleep next to anyone, but no PDA. And to state the obvious, absolutely don’t try to join the mile high club.
What airplane beds actually have the most privacy?
While we’re on this general topic, of all the airplane seats out there, which actually offer the most privacy in bed mode? There’s only one product in commercial aviation that offers 100% privacy, and that’s Etihad’s The Residence on the Airbus A380. This is a three-room suite, and you literally have a private bedroom that can accommodate up to two people.
Ironically, though, I actually find the bed to be rather uncomfortable for two people, as it’s really not that wide. If I were traveling with someone, I’d prefer two First Class Apartments, purely in terms of comfort when sleeping.
I’d say the second most private first class product that can accommodate two people is Lufthansa’s Allegris first class on the A350, and specifically, the First Class Suite Plus. Once again, this is a super comfortable bed for one person, but for two people, it’s definitely on the tight side, compared to having two separate suites (and there’s no discount for booking this compared to two seats).
This product has privacy partitions that go from the floor to near the ceiling (no one could look over them), though the thing to be aware of is that the door handles are essentially cutouts in the “door” fabric, so you can see through them.
Bottom line
As a general rule of thumb, if an airline offers double beds in a premium cabin, you should have no qualms booking them and sleeping in them regardless of whether you’re gay, straight, or whatever.
Even for a country like Qatar, there are no laws against sleeping next to someone of the same sex on an airplane, and that same principle applies here. Of course I wouldn’t recommend trying to do anything beyond sleeping, but I don’t think that’s what was being asked here (and if it is being asked… well, then I don’t recommend doing that).
Where do you stand on the correct etiquette in airplane double beds?
Whe travelling I would like to avoid those countries where some aspect of our human rights, whether it's based on religion, gender, sexuality and so on, are systematically restricted by the governing regime. This includes using their airlines.
However given the state of the world there are probably not many that would pass my tests and I would end up going nowhere. So I end up being pragmatic and think of how a countries...
Whe travelling I would like to avoid those countries where some aspect of our human rights, whether it's based on religion, gender, sexuality and so on, are systematically restricted by the governing regime. This includes using their airlines.
However given the state of the world there are probably not many that would pass my tests and I would end up going nowhere. So I end up being pragmatic and think of how a countries laws 'oppress' me ( and my boyfriend) specifically and avoid them, but if for some reason I found myself say on a middle Eastern airline I would play by their rules and avoid any PDA until safely in a country where we could check into a hotel and ask for a double bed without fear of any rebuke or refusal ( as happened rather unexpectedly in Turkey).
Maybe a bit selfish approach but that's how I have chosen to play it.
My partner is a bit of a goof, and when we were in the double suites together he decided to roll on top of me. I shoved him off so fast he got made at me! I agree re:avoiding PDA, simply because I find it a little gross whenever straight people do it, so I try to hold myself to a similar standard ;)
“… who think that their lifestyle choices are their right…”
When I was nine, teh gehs set up a recruiting table 2 blocks from my school. They said that our choice of lifestyle needed to factor in a love of disco, Broadway musicals, and opera. They also made it clear that once we chose, we would forever love members of the same sex, and could never go back. So about 10% of the little boys...
“… who think that their lifestyle choices are their right…”
When I was nine, teh gehs set up a recruiting table 2 blocks from my school. They said that our choice of lifestyle needed to factor in a love of disco, Broadway musicals, and opera. They also made it clear that once we chose, we would forever love members of the same sex, and could never go back. So about 10% of the little boys and girls chose the geh lifestyle, and here we are!
On behalf of all teh gehs, I would like to apologize for our choice. We all hate ourselves for it and thank you for putting up with us. Keep letting us know where our lifestyle choice is welcome or not, so we can plan our travel around straight acceptance.
JUST KIDDING!
And fuck you.
Panties in a bunch, are they? Boo-hoo.
Those private cabins may seem private, but theres likely still a camera in there so the crew can see whats happening.
I do not think it is a good idea at all for Gays to travel to the middle east. Just plain stupid knowing how their government views homosexuality. More power to you... you support, spend money and even advertise for countries that slain your own kind
Having lived in the Gulf region for most of the last 10 years, I suggest respecting the local laws and customs. Yes, homosexualtiy is illegal but no, its not generally hunted for. So show common sense. 99.9% of the time you will not have a problem but why risk being that other 0.1%?
The problem is the privilege of those - unfortunatatly many Americans as well as other nationalities - who think that their lifestyle...
Having lived in the Gulf region for most of the last 10 years, I suggest respecting the local laws and customs. Yes, homosexualtiy is illegal but no, its not generally hunted for. So show common sense. 99.9% of the time you will not have a problem but why risk being that other 0.1%?
The problem is the privilege of those - unfortunatatly many Americans as well as other nationalities - who think that their lifestyle choices are their right anywhere in the world. And its not a gay thing either: its the often loud drunken foreigners who find themselves in trouble in these countries because they have no respect for local sensiblitites.
Sexual identity isn't a lifestyle choice, and the fact that you'd compare being gay to being a "loud, drunken foreigner" suggests that maybe you've lived in the Gulf Region for too long.
Feel free to stay there.
Best answer EVER! Thanks JamesW
JamesW, MmKk, it is my opinion that neither of you have actually read Barry’s post. If you have indeed read it, then you clearly do not understand the context.
Wouldn't be surprised if you are they type I'm talking about: so enmeshed in your own self-righteousness that you completely missed my point. There are places where assertion of your point of view offers you no protection under the law and if you behave in ways that disrespect the local law, you may find yourself in lots of trouble.
Whether sexual identity is a lifestyle choice or not is irrelevant to the issue; its...
Wouldn't be surprised if you are they type I'm talking about: so enmeshed in your own self-righteousness that you completely missed my point. There are places where assertion of your point of view offers you no protection under the law and if you behave in ways that disrespect the local law, you may find yourself in lots of trouble.
Whether sexual identity is a lifestyle choice or not is irrelevant to the issue; its how one chooses to exhibit that identity that matters in such a jurisdiction. It appears that your head is too far up your own woke butt to appreciate that distinction.
isnt it funny how westerns are always told to 'respect the local culture' of backwards countries, but then theyre never told to respect the culture when they go to more progressive countries?
The term "lifestyle choice" is a triggering term for gay people for historic reasons. It also isn't really an accurate term for what you are describing. Being drunk in public is not something I would describe as a lifestyle choice. Neither is showing affection in public to your gay or straight partner. "Public behavior" would be a much more accurate description.
I am tbh surprised to hear the term "lifestyle choice" used at all. I...
The term "lifestyle choice" is a triggering term for gay people for historic reasons. It also isn't really an accurate term for what you are describing. Being drunk in public is not something I would describe as a lifestyle choice. Neither is showing affection in public to your gay or straight partner. "Public behavior" would be a much more accurate description.
I am tbh surprised to hear the term "lifestyle choice" used at all. I thought it had gone the way of the dodo. Which is where it belongs.
Perhaps you were not saying this at all, but if you or anyone else were to use the term "lifestyle choice" to describe being gay, gay sex, or romantic relationships between two gay people, most people under the age of 60 in Europe or North America would consider you homophobic and inappropriate.
@RK. Thank you for discussing this in a respectful way and pointing out that the use of the phrase "lifestyle choice" is viewed as offensive by some.
There was no intent to offend - I merely was referencing Ben's article's discussion as to how a couple may choose to utilize the honeymoon suite's bedding set up. And to me at least, the ability to enjoy high end business class amenities is almost definitionally a...
@RK. Thank you for discussing this in a respectful way and pointing out that the use of the phrase "lifestyle choice" is viewed as offensive by some.
There was no intent to offend - I merely was referencing Ben's article's discussion as to how a couple may choose to utilize the honeymoon suite's bedding set up. And to me at least, the ability to enjoy high end business class amenities is almost definitionally a lifestyle. Having said this, I should have referred to "Behavior choices" in lieu of lifestyle.
The issue of whether it is appropriate to compare open gayness to drunkenness is a bit of a red herring however; the point is that behaviors that are not criminal in, lets say, London or the US, can get someone in big trouble in other countries and visitors need to be aware of this for their own well-being.
The EskimoBot posted the following below, does anyone know what it is all about?
………….
“So how does self respecting gay men fly?
Jet fuel doesn't grow in California.
Despite energy being used in all your daily life, I can expect you to stay independent far deep in the forest with those Amazon tribes?
Or I can find this hypocrite flying on jet fuel from governments who "oppress their own gays at home."
It's a reply to @FoulOwl you narcissist wanker.
Don't flatter yourself thinking everything is all about you. Stop lying to yourself this is so about me, ME ME the Brit wanker who loves BA and thinks everything is about ME ME ME and how I fly to DEN the inferior way but ME ME ME who doesn't know how to shut up, that I have to post it separately and not as a reply as it's supposed to be.
Thank you EskimoBot, you have at least convinced little me that you deserve to be incarcerated in the Kingsboro mental asylum.
Qatar has a maximum penalty of 7 years in prison for homosexual acts, much like other moderate Muslim countries and even Palestine. That is far from the most restrictive. Countries like Iran and Saudi Arabia have the death penalty for homosexual acts. Qatar's main problem is being a sideline supporter of terrorism through financial and logistical support.
Sadly, I do recall it was Qatar Airways that forced many women to be stripped searched & examined to see if they'd recently given birth due to an abandoned new born baby found at DOH...
Incredible personal violation ... So I wouldn't necessarily assume any orientation can have peace of mind in one's personal rights there ( on the ground at least ) compared to some other countries....
Even if I was straight I wouldn't fly with an airline that's owned by a government that's been credibly accused of being a state sponsor of terrorism.
Hey Pete, I assume you travelled exclusively by bus during Howard's tenure and throughout the Indonesian boat people scandal?
I was seated at a QSuite opposite a gay couple who has the walls down. It's pretty ok in the air
the seats as beds are claustrophobic on Qatar anyway so why bother.
I mean as long as you’re not entering each other on the plane who gives a F?
The cringe factor here is off the charts. Just stop. You are called to higher things, not the lowest (pervers) things.
What is so cringey or perverse about this piece? What’s a “higher thing?”
Are they not going home or to a Hotel that they have to get intimate on a public transport? Keep the Male to Male, Male to Female,Male to animal or Female to Dog away from Public view.
What are you even on about? No-one was talking about sex. It's only in YOUR mind. And your comment is disgusting in every single way.
My impression is that the reader was asking about traveling as two men and appearing as more than friends but nothing physical. Just acting how you would normally act with your partner, and if this would be awkward with nasty looks/comments from the airline employees.
I have to say I don't know myself as I've never flown with Qatar, but I'm sure it would be fine. Technically it's homosexual behavior that's illegal in these places,...
My impression is that the reader was asking about traveling as two men and appearing as more than friends but nothing physical. Just acting how you would normally act with your partner, and if this would be awkward with nasty looks/comments from the airline employees.
I have to say I don't know myself as I've never flown with Qatar, but I'm sure it would be fine. Technically it's homosexual behavior that's illegal in these places, not just existing.
Honestly - the nastiest look myself and my partner (also male) ever got was a few years ago on a United/SkyWest flight when a flight attendant commented out of the blue (with no provocation or relevant topic) how sorry she was that us Californians had to live with Nancy Pelosi. My partner said "I love Nancy!" and you'd have thought she just ate a barrel of lemons. Lol. Yes - on a flight to SFO.
This whole question is an issue of privilege. People don't realize that as (comparatively) wealthy foreigners, domestic laws don't apply to same harshness. You're far more likely to scolded or maybe (if really egregious) deported. As a tourist, you generally aren't going to beaten or imprisoned (bad for tourism image). The laws may be harsh, but as a foreign gay, the situation is not the same. You are treated with far more privilege
that's true ... until those laws and rules are unexpectedly applied. this dude didn't have the courage to use his own name in a blog devoted entirely to first world problems and is worried about this?
i'm gonna say this is a terrible idea for someone so concerned.
Flew Qsuites (honeymoon suite) w my bf in June from ORD-DOH and had zero issues! Obv didn’t have any PDA but crew was spectacular and didn’t make us feel weird whatsoever!
The most sane post in this thread.
Kinda rude but I don't know for others
Surely one is able to resist the temptation of being “intimate” on an aircraft being either gay or straight, its transport at the end of the day and “public” at that
Shared middle seats for same sex couples - outrageous !
My Husband and I always have window seats - he says its the only time he gets any peace and quiet.
Disgusting
Disgusting what Dave?
I don’t care if you’re gay or normal. But flaunting immoral behavior? It’s not what society and our children need to be exposed to. You can choose the gay lifestyle if you want, but don’t force it on the rest of us.
Is someone forcing you to sleep with another man? Or making you watch them sleep? Poor you Dave Stafford.
1988, I like your style!
Dave doth protest too much. Men comfortable in their sexuality don't spend this much time being angry about what other men do.
lol. nobody is forcing anything on anyone. mind your own business.
I've always found the SQ and QR "double bed" concept to be false advertising. There is clearly a partition between the seats and I can't begin to tell you how many times I've read "disappointed" posts about that on Flyertalk etc. from people who were expecting a true double-bed.
91, all I can say is that those people who complain about the SQ or QR, have not educated themselves sufficiently about those products. They, if actual passengers, probably expected a ‘mile high’ experience with a PA and were disappointed when the partition went up instead of Jon Thomas …. :-)
Those of us who experience the products three or for time a year can attest to their worth. However, I have to say that we did enjoy our recent AF LP flight experience too.
I believe self respecting gay men should think twice before giving money to governments and their companies if they oppress their own gays at home.
Despite the Qsuites being Ben’s favorite business class, never ever would you find me in them.
You have what you believe to be very valid reasons for boycotting ME airlines, however, I have say that you are cutting of your nose to spite your face.
Similarly, apparently, many U.S. and Canadian citizens are doing the same thing in boycotting each other’s products for political reasons. In the free world we are able to choose things for our own reasons I suppose …. :-)
So how does self respecting gay men fly?
Jet fuel doesn't grow in California.
Despite energy being used in all your daily life, I can expect you to stay independent far deep in the forest with those Amazon tribes?
Or I can find this hypocrite flying on jet fuel from governments who "oppress their own gays at home."
Being a gay man and having lived in the Middle East, I absolutely would not. Maybe I would keep the partition half way, but no way would I utilize the double bed feature. The risk of someone being offended and reporting it to cabin crew is high. Ben is famous. He would be OK but someone who is not, could be detained. And I highly doubt under current conditions, the American Embassy would make it a priority to assist.
American embassy is only assisting US citizens, assuming the reader is from another country (which is statistically probable), they would still get full consular support. Which may not help much though...
Great use of four-digit numbers!
Whilst the State of Qatar has issues, I've never had any issues flying Qatar Airways as a gay male. Obviously I haven't done anything offensive to warrant different treatment; but all staff and crew have been super friendly and welcoming.
"so you’re not able to spoon (at least not for your bottom half)" Qatari law is that only tops can spoon?! Sorry bad joke I know
What a rude and homophobic comment.
Actually it’s neither rude or homophobic. That is a comment obliviously by a gay man. You either don’t understand the joke or have no sense of humor
Thank you Trujeffie, yes I am gay. Was supposed to be a lighthearted joke
Get a grip, Jedidiah.
I'm a gay man (top, even) and find the joke hilarious.
@Super - That made me LOL.
@JT - Inappropriate? Sure, kinda. Homophobic? Hardly.
One has noted that Ben, agrees that The Residence bed is about as much use for two people to SLEEP in, as rocking horse manure would be to a keen gardener. I did try to warn you Ben.
From my ME experience of those Muslims who dislike ‘westerners’ and currently those who detest U.S. citizens, I would say this ….
If your flight destination is to any ME country, do not trust to fate to...
One has noted that Ben, agrees that The Residence bed is about as much use for two people to SLEEP in, as rocking horse manure would be to a keen gardener. I did try to warn you Ben.
From my ME experience of those Muslims who dislike ‘westerners’ and currently those who detest U.S. citizens, I would say this ….
If your flight destination is to any ME country, do not trust to fate to the discretion of a ME airline crew. Some, I repeat, some, can appear to be tolerant and open minded to your face, yet would soon appear offended in the presence of other Muslims. Upon landing in a Muslim country after an apparent conjoined sleepover, complications might occur. However, no such challenges should arise if travelling from a ME country to Europe, the U.S. etc.
Where I to be travelling with a male friend, to avoid any raising of eyebrows from the crew, I would raise the dividing screen at turndown time. What one does afterwards is up to the individuals concerned.
I fertilized my entire Fisher-Price Family Farm with rocking horse manure and those lead-infused aluminum carrots tasted just fine.
Ben, I am sure, will have appreciated your click Timmy, even if the content of your post is somewhat …. well ….
Comparing Qatari greeting kiss with PDA is a terrible comparison. I would expect much more from a seasoned global traveler such as yourself.
This is like saying Japanese gets naked in onsens so it okay to be naked in Japan?
The point of that was to note how (to a westerner) Qatari's have byzantine perceptions of what is considered PDA (again, compared to western sensibilities). It was not to state that a hello kiss between men means men can kiss in public.
Again you're confusing and comparing 2 completely different interactions together.
Men and women don't even shake hands. Which still has nothing to do with PDA between any gender. Nor is touching hands a sign of PDA.
Now go walk naked around Ginza.
EskimoBot, whatever have you been consuming over the weekend? Your posts may contain more words than the usual burner phone text, however, the content is still nonsense.
If a “ Qatari greeting kiss” is not PDA, then neither is a handshake …. your argument is nonsensical Sonny Jim.
Many years ago I flew on the old SQ suites on their A380, and we had a double suite, and it was our anniversary. This was when Singapore still had their anti gay (men) law. There was no issue, and the Stewardess were amazing. We even had a cake to celebrate our anniversary, but the cabin manager told the other stewardesses to close our suite doors for "privacy". I personally would not do this on...
Many years ago I flew on the old SQ suites on their A380, and we had a double suite, and it was our anniversary. This was when Singapore still had their anti gay (men) law. There was no issue, and the Stewardess were amazing. We even had a cake to celebrate our anniversary, but the cabin manager told the other stewardesses to close our suite doors for "privacy". I personally would not do this on any middle eastern airlines just to not get any kind of looks or potential issues from the countries that practice Islam.
So you prefer the cane or being spanked?
EskimoBot …. do grow up child, your attempt at humour is pathetic, yes?
We’ve flown Q suites as a gay couple many times and some of the times with a double bed. Our first time flying Qatar was with the double bed back in 2018 and we were as well hesitant to ask them to make it into a double bed. The FA’s were so friendly and proactively asked to make our seats into a double bed after taking photos of us together before take off and talking...
We’ve flown Q suites as a gay couple many times and some of the times with a double bed. Our first time flying Qatar was with the double bed back in 2018 and we were as well hesitant to ask them to make it into a double bed. The FA’s were so friendly and proactively asked to make our seats into a double bed after taking photos of us together before take off and talking about our trip together. There have definitely been hand holding the kisses on board from us and I have to say that every Qatar flight I’ve been on I’ve felt overwhelmingly welcomed as a gay couple. I would say the on board experience is very different than in Qatar. I would not have felt comfortable in Qatar doing these things, but hey they aren’t appropriate for straight people culturally either! Enjoy the experience, it’s top class!
My husband and I didn’t even think twice about booking the double bed on Qatar, but also the Q-Suites really don’t feel private as it’s so easy to peer into them when you walk past. And yes, it’s sort of a double bed, but it’s not like you have a single large sheet or blanket that you’re both lying under.
Einstein agrees with ClownDancer:
“if you give your spouse (gay or straight) a peck on the cheek,” that is PDA.
In Qatar and most of the rest of SW and S Asia, it’s anything but rare for same-sex adult relatives and even same-sex friends to share a bed while traveling. But, unfortunately, you can’t count on all people minding their own business and not making assumptions and then causing a problem by trying to accuse some individuals or groups of what constitutes illegal activity in a jurisdiction of relevance.
If there is a problem, blame it on Bilt's complexity and everyone will understand.
Well said, The Other Jack! I’ll add, let’s also blame TPG for being shills (not for being gay, though, because, that’s fine, like, we cool, you do you, they do them, love whomever you wanna love, respect.)