A couple of nights ago, I had a hilarious travel related conversation with our three-year-old son while putting him to bed, which made me realize something. Let me first share what happened, and then some background to prove that I’m not an out-of-touch monster (or at least don’t intend to be)…
In this post:
The hilarious conversation I had with our son
A couple of nights ago, I was putting our three-year-old son, Miles, to bed. We usually read a few books, and then I “fake” fall asleep next to him until he’s asleep, and then I quietly exit.
On this particular evening, he was incredibly chatty, in the most hilarious way, so we spent more time talking rather than reading. He’s off from preschool right now for the holidays, so his schedule doesn’t matter as much as usual, and frankly, I was really enjoying our conversation.
We’re going to take him skiing soon for the first time, and before trips, I always try to talk to him about what to expect, so he can anticipate it and be prepared. He’s at the age now where he comprehends things, so I find that consistently talking to him about travel in advance helps.
So I was explaining how we were going skiing, and how it would involve taking a pretty long flight. For what it’s worth, up until this point, we’ve never had an explicit conversation about airport lounges, first or business class, etc. So with that in mind, here’s how our conversation went from there (and this is a direct transcript, because after he started being hilarious, I just started recording)…
Miles: “On the plane, are we going to sit in the big seats or the smaller seats?”
Me: “Oh… I’m not sure, we’ll see.” (I haven’t 100% committed to our flights, and now that I realize he’s paying attention, maybe it should be the “smaller seats!”)
Miles: “Are they going to serve food and snacks on the plane?”
Me: “Probably. Do you want to eat on the plane?”
Miles: “No… only in the lounge! Just in the lounge I can eat something!”
Me: “Hah… what do you want to eat in the lounge?”
Miles: “I need to see what they have in the lounge. When I can see what they have in the lounge, then I can eat it!”
This conversation was just hilarious to me, because never before had there been any deliberate discussion about different airplane seats, airport facilities, etc.
He’s at the age where we need to be more deliberate
It’s funny how fast time flies when you’re a parent. We’ve massively increased our travel with Miles as time has gone on.
When he was really young, we just didn’t think he’d get anything out of travel, and was more comfortable, happier, and healthier, at home. After all, we have loving family that is happy to stay with him, and simply dragging him onto planes and to hotels doesn’t do much to widen a one-year-old’s horizons, in my opinion (though I have huge respect for those who travel extensively with infants).
But it’s clear, particularly in the last six months, that he’s starting to notice everything, and you can tell based on the questions he asks, and the observations he makes.
It’s funny, because when we flew with Miles when he was around one year old, I didn’t feel like I had to think much about what cabin we flew in, or how he would perceive that, since I didn’t think he really noticed in a meaningful way (or at least wasn’t able to express that to us).
But the above commentary really makes me realize he notices everything, which is the first time it has been so apparent to me on the travel front. To be clear, it’s not like I’m dropping a fortune when we fly first class with Miles. Generally, my approach is one of the following:
- If it’s just me or Ford flying with Miles, we’ll often book first class, since it’s convenient to have two seats next to one another, without a seat mate
- If all three of us are traveling together, we’ll often book extra legroom economy, and then just all sit next to one another, with Miles in the middle
- The reality is that a majority of our first class flights are simply booked with Alaska Atmos Rewards points on American, so I’m typically paying a small amount for the added comfort; it’s not like I’m carelessly dropping a fortune on these flights
While I don’t want to adopt an “all economy” policy when flying with him, I certainly don’t want our kids growing up thinking that only first class exists. So now that I’ve come to terms with this, I’ll also make an effort to fly more in economy with him, and also to give some premium economy flights a try when traveling long haul (which will make for interesting reviews as well).
In fairness, I do think that premium travel has been democratized to the point that both domestic first class and lounge access aren’t the unattainable-seeming luxuries they used to be. I’m certainly getting us into first class and into lounges at an affordable cost.
For that matter, given that there are literally long lines to get into many airport lounges nowadays, they’re almost definitionally not exclusive, and they’ve almost turned into discounted airport restaurants for those who prefer to pay yearly rather than per meal. Nowadays it’s more like “who are these ballers paying $25 for an omelet at an airport restaurant, rather than waiting in line to eat at the lounge?” 😉
Anyway, I’d be curious to hear from other parents on this. It’s amazing how quickly kids grow up, and I was always wondering at what age kids start sharing travel observations that make you realize that they’re really paying attention. For Miles, a little over three years old has definitely been a turning point on that front, which makes me realize we need to be very deliberate.
Bottom line
It’s incredible how quickly kids grow up. We’ve been greatly increasing the amount we’ve been traveling with our older son in recent times, and I feel like at three years old, he finally turned a corner in terms of both observing things, and communicating what he observes.
A couple of nights ago we had a conversation about a future flight, where Miles asked if he’d be flying in the bigger seats or smaller seats, and also indicated his preference to eat in the lounge. Okay, he’s definitely noticing things, so that’s something I need to keep in mind going forward!
Anyone else with kids remember the first time that they made an observation about flying that caught you off guard?
Super cute post. Thanks for sharing
We try and fly in the pointy end for our long haul flights. When we traveled to Jamaica a while back ago, which doesn't require sitting in the pointy end for only a couple hours flight. Our daughter was trying to take a nap on the airplane and she asked "where's the button for the bed?" :).
So we didn't start flying regularly with my son until he was about Miles' age, but yes, that's about the point where he truly became aware of what was going on. I will say, he commandeered the window seat pretty much from day one, so lucky for you he's content with the middle...
As far as coach vs. business, we do a mix of both, BUT we've had the conversation that we can't take the...
So we didn't start flying regularly with my son until he was about Miles' age, but yes, that's about the point where he truly became aware of what was going on. I will say, he commandeered the window seat pretty much from day one, so lucky for you he's content with the middle...
As far as coach vs. business, we do a mix of both, BUT we've had the conversation that we can't take the "beeeeed seats" as he calls them all the time. He does get excited when he gets to sit up front, but he's perfectly fine sitting in coach. Making sure he understands that we're fortunate to be able to splurge once in a while, but that there is a balance has been key to me.
I remember getting the question "Will this plane have beds" from my kids when they were small. I wondered if I had spoiled them forever.
I didn't need to worry. They're older now, and have flown super long-hauls like SEA-DXB-CPT in Y with no complaints. Although they're ecstatic when "someone" somehow procures a transatlantic J seat for them on occasion...
Don't sweat it. You're asking yourself the right questions and you'll impart the right values. And it often is better to eat in the lounge than on the plane! Your son is just speaking truth.
But this is why extra legroom economy is important. Extra legroom economy is amazing for families. AA is fumbling the ball with the new 787-P with only 18 MCE seats (they "downgraded" an upcoming flight from a 777 to the...
Don't sweat it. You're asking yourself the right questions and you'll impart the right values. And it often is better to eat in the lounge than on the plane! Your son is just speaking truth.
But this is why extra legroom economy is important. Extra legroom economy is amazing for families. AA is fumbling the ball with the new 787-P with only 18 MCE seats (they "downgraded" an upcoming flight from a 777 to the 787-P for me today and my 4 MCE seats turned into 3 with no notice, no apology, no nothing - I'll probably cancel and fly someone else). XLR is even worse with no MCE seats for families at all.
Delta and United are running in the opposite direction with their extra legroom offerings. Extra legroom economy encourages loyalty - it's often the best benefit of status, especially in an age where upgrades happen but are also often paid for.
I’m all about Peter’s Main Cabin Extra rants!
This reminds me of a funny conversation with our daughter when she was about 2 1/2 years old. We were flying intra-europe business class, which was essentially an economy seat with the blocked middle. When I showed her to her seat, she said, "This isn't my seat. It's too small!"
When I insisted it was her seat, she looked up at me, puzzled, and said, "Where's the bed?" - because we had recently flown first class on the old Lufthansa 747s with the separate bed
Ben, as Miles will be learning to ski, this would be a good opportunity to learn it along with him. It will be more fun together! I learned skiing while I was an adult too and am glad I did.
I will be looking forward to your economy and premium economy reviews. BA PE is much better than LH PE, the differences can be significant.
Miles comment about to see the lounge food first is...
Ben, as Miles will be learning to ski, this would be a good opportunity to learn it along with him. It will be more fun together! I learned skiing while I was an adult too and am glad I did.
I will be looking forward to your economy and premium economy reviews. BA PE is much better than LH PE, the differences can be significant.
Miles comment about to see the lounge food first is quite relatable. Probably he already noticed the differences between the Admirals Club and the Flagship lounge.
My four year old nephew asked my why I was flying on Ethiopian Airlines even though I was going to India. That led to an age-appropriate explanation of the hub-and-spoke system complete with maps, etc.. Now he wonders why I don't fly to everywhere via Ethiopia since they have so many spokes. :)
That’s a hilarious convo. Been scared to take our toddler to Europe but maybe it’s time now. My wife refuses to consider business for him even though we both fly it together.
Love this post - very relatable! We enjoy travel and, for long-haul, are typically fortunate to travel in Business. When our youngest was 3 we flew Emirates from London to Bangkok (both legs A380) and all enjoyed the on-board lounge / bar. On the return from Phuket (B777) we were a couple of hours into the flight and our 3 year old asked if we could get a juice from the bar. I told her...
Love this post - very relatable! We enjoy travel and, for long-haul, are typically fortunate to travel in Business. When our youngest was 3 we flew Emirates from London to Bangkok (both legs A380) and all enjoyed the on-board lounge / bar. On the return from Phuket (B777) we were a couple of hours into the flight and our 3 year old asked if we could get a juice from the bar. I told her that this plane didn’t have a bar, to which she very loudly replied “WHAAAT?!” and in that moment I knew we needed to be more balanced with our travel plans….!
@ Michael -- Hahahahahah!
Start 'em young!
I guess if you can't read a menu at 3 years old, being able to see the food before making a choice is perfect. Smart lad there, Ben :)
Why not let Miles take the window seat now. I think that is how my love of planes started around age 3/4. I loved looking out the window at the wing and just being able to fly
Ben - great post and great to see you and Ford being both very observant and deliberate. Our kids are grown now, but this is definitely a good age to start, and mixing up the travel experiences in various cabins is HIGHLY recommended. As we saw with Brendan's email to you, often times our past experiences shape expectations for future ones. You've done a great job being 'in-touch' with reality while providing reviews (with some...
Ben - great post and great to see you and Ford being both very observant and deliberate. Our kids are grown now, but this is definitely a good age to start, and mixing up the travel experiences in various cabins is HIGHLY recommended. As we saw with Brendan's email to you, often times our past experiences shape expectations for future ones. You've done a great job being 'in-touch' with reality while providing reviews (with some bias here and there, but that's not the point).
We tried our best to do the same, but when ours reached their late teens, they were feeling somewhat reluctant to tell their friends about flying in first class to far away places, mostly because their friends could not or did not have the same experiences. This, despite many economy flights mixed in between long hauls.
Point is: if yours and Ford's desire is to have Miles become a well-rounded person who is both in-touch with reality and can fully/deeply appreciate a premium experience from time to time, then continue to balance out the experiences - a Southwest or (gulp) Frontier flight here and there will insure their genuine appreciation for whether eating in the lounge or on the plane or simply in the airport before the flight is a good thing or not.
Then watch and observe how they process it all.