Dear Hotels: Please Stop Assuming Only Straight, Married Couples Travel

Ben, I hear your pain but it's a small grievance when traveling to non-Western cultures. I travel solo and in Christian-based areas (i.e., Caribbean, S. Europe, etc) reservationists automatically assume that I'm married -- welcome correspondence is addressed to a Mrs. when they should be a Ms. The flipside when I'm in South Asia where women traveling alone is still somewhat taboo, reservationists assume I'm male, addressing correspondence to Mr. In a perfect world, there would be a universal moniker for all humans regardless of how we identify ourselves and until then we as strangers in a foreign land must allow space for our cultural differences to find common ground.

My wife and I don't have the same last name, and often get Mr. And Mrs. (My last name) and even sometimes get Mr. And Mrs. (Her last name). I agree that this is outdated. Incidentally, with all the Middle East talk, many Middle Eastern groups don't have the wife taking the last name tradition. In Iran, the wife always keeps her last name.

Simple solution for you, call the hotel manager, in a very calm manner, and thank them for their welcome note and state that an error was made it is Mr. and Mr. I do not think the hotel meant any malice, simply pointing it out to them since it matters so much to you would have garnered an apology and I am sure a replace letter correctly addressed. I am Black woman who travels frequently, when given the opportunity, I take advantage of "teachable moments'.

Several years ago, my husband and I (then partner) stayed at a Ritz Carlton in Florida. We had stayed with them half a dozen times before, and this time, my cousin and his wife joined us. I made reservations for both rooms on our credit card, and noted that they (cousin and his wife) were celebrating their 25th anniversary. After checking in and each room presenting credit cards for the room charges, were given our keys. Both rooms were on the Club Level. When we arrived to our room there was a lovely cake (in the past there was usually a welcome treat as return guests) that said "Happy Anniversary" on the table and an envelope made out to Mr. and Mrs. Larsen (my husbands name.) We called the Club Lounge, and they sent someone to take the cake and card away. The staff was so embarrassed they had goofed, wrong room and wrong name. When we returned from the beach, a bottle of wine and some fruit was waiting in our room with an apology note and a new cake with card had been delivered to my cousin's room. We laughed about it, and we still sometimes get Mr. and Mrs. addressed cards, but aren't bothered by it. Mistakes happen.

Well, it's not there fault