Airport Video: Why You Shouldn’t Attach A Sex Toy To A Water Bottle

Airport Video: Why You Shouldn’t Attach A Sex Toy To A Water Bottle

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If you don’t have the sense of humor of a 12 year old, click out of this post now. 😉

I think the YouTube caption tells you everything you need to know:

My buddy was headed to his bachelor party in New Orleans. It was his first time flying. The thing he was worried about most was airport security…with friends like his he was right to be worried!

Here’s the amazing video:

“Your water is too large.” Amazing! At least the TSA agent had a good sense of humor, and wasn’t a d*ck about it!

While we’re on this topic, it reminds me of a situation I was in last year at Beijing Airport. I’ve written in the past about Kanamara Matsuri, the annual Japanese fertility festival, which is rather phallic. I know this might sound like some kinky joke, but it’s not. It’s apparently taken quite seriously, and is mainstream.

Anyway, a friend attended the festival, and as a joke he brought me a pen from it. I’m sure you can guess what the pen looked like. I put it in a pouch with my chargers (phone, laptop, camera, etc.). I forgot about it for a while… until I went through security at Beijing Airport.

My bag was pulled to the side for additional screening, and that specific pouch needed to be checked, since presumably the chargers looked strange to them. The security officer opened the case, looked horrified, took out the pen, and held it up as if she was trying to inspect it and figure out what it was. I tried to explain to her what it was, but she spoke no English.

I was rather embarrassed, so I can only imagine how embarrassed this guy must have been.

(Tip of the hat to Tocqueville)

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  1. Bill

    Yes, I'm sure the people waiting behind them were very impressed with having to wait so they could play their little joke. What a waste of resources dealing with these morons. Too bad they didn't send them to a room for additional screening. Then maybe they would have learned their lesson not to screw around and waste everyone's time.

  2. The Gaffer

    I like the bit at the very end when one of the stags says "he put it back in!" Funny.

  3. Nope

    Took a dildo through the line at mco a few years back en route to a Bachelorette party. Pulled for screening as anticipated and warNed the agent. Once she realized what i was trying to discretely tell her, she thankfully had enough good sense not to pull it out of the bag in front of the family behind me in line.

  4. Mike O

    For the posters above who question photography at checkpoints, here is a link below that might be useful:

    https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/photographers-what-do-if-you-are-stopped-or-detained-taking-photographs

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbVhg5YpVmQ&feature=iv&src_vid=OyXqRWtlxmM&annotation_id=annotation_715146693

    I've shared this with Lucky via email just to give him and fellow readers like myself a heads up on the subject.

  5. TravelinWilly

    Remember the anal beads from 2002?

    http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/trip-reports/181384-airline-security-tour-2002-14-586-miles-week-aa-nw-amtrak.html

    Now you do!

  6. Julian

    Ah yes, the classic TSA dildo bomb. I've done that to a few friends on some bachelor parties myself. I've always taped the dildo to oversized lube instead of water though.

  7. Charlie McMillan

    This just made my morning! Thank you Lucky. And - I'm amazed the TSA guy managed to keep a straight face.

  8. Neil S.

    I once tried to take a picture of a crazy long TSA line, and three TSA agents yelled at me, tried to grab my phone, etc.

    But they let this dude film them the whole time they were doing this? Did they let the agent in on the joke?

    1. lucky

      @ Neil S. -- You're allowed to photograph and videotape TSA lines, as long as you're not trying to take specific pictures of equipment, as far as I know. The agents who tried to stop you were out of line. Even the TSA says so directly at this link:
      http://blog.tsa.gov/2009/03/can-i-take-photos-at-checkpoint-and.html

      "We don’t prohibit public, passengers or press from photographing, videotaping, or filming at screening locations. You can take pictures at our checkpoints as long...

      @ Neil S. -- You're allowed to photograph and videotape TSA lines, as long as you're not trying to take specific pictures of equipment, as far as I know. The agents who tried to stop you were out of line. Even the TSA says so directly at this link:
      http://blog.tsa.gov/2009/03/can-i-take-photos-at-checkpoint-and.html

      "We don’t prohibit public, passengers or press from photographing, videotaping, or filming at screening locations. You can take pictures at our checkpoints as long as you’re not interfering with the screening process or slowing things down. We also ask that you do not film or take pictures of our monitors."

  9. endre

    he knew bottle will be pulled out. joke sounded great at first... russian roulette based on who will be the lucky TSA agent.

Featured Comments Load all 10 comments Most helpful comments ( as chosen by the OMAAT community ).

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Bill

Yes, I'm sure the people waiting behind them were very impressed with having to wait so they could play their little joke. What a waste of resources dealing with these morons. Too bad they didn't send them to a room for additional screening. Then maybe they would have learned their lesson not to screw around and waste everyone's time.

The Gaffer

I like the bit at the very end when one of the stags says "he put it back in!" Funny.

Nope

Took a dildo through the line at mco a few years back en route to a Bachelorette party. Pulled for screening as anticipated and warNed the agent. Once she realized what i was trying to discretely tell her, she thankfully had enough good sense not to pull it out of the bag in front of the family behind me in line.

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