Marriott Hotel Accuses Woman Of Being Man, Forces Her To Prove Gender

Marriott Hotel Accuses Woman Of Being Man, Forces Her To Prove Gender

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I don’t know what’s wrong with people, though kudos to the hotel for at least (sort of) doing the right thing, once this incident came to light. Thanks to View from the Wing for flagging this.

The Liberty Hotel Boston harasses woman in bathroom

CBS has the story of an event that happened at The Liberty Hotel Boston, a Marriott Luxury Collection property. On the afternoon of Saturday, May 3, 2025, a lesbian couple attended a Kentucky Derby party at the hotel. Not that this should matter, but it’s worth mentioning that they’re both cis women, so they were both born women and identify as women.

Anyway, the two had to use the bathroom, which is where this incident unfolded. One of the women was waiting at the sinks, while the other women was in a stall. According to the woman in the stall:

“All of a sudden there was banging on the door. I pulled my shorts up. I hadn’t even tied them. One of the security guards was there telling me to get out of the bathroom, that I was a man in the women’s bathroom. I said, ‘I’m a woman.'”

So she quickly pulled up her pants, and was then escorted out of the bathroom by the (male) security guard. Women waiting in line were reportedly directing comments at her, like “get him out of here,” and “he’s a creep.” Once in the lobby, the security guard asked the couple for their IDs to check their gender. At that point things got heated, and the couple was ultimately told to leave the hotel.

Initially, the hotel claimed that “several women alerted security of two adults sharing a bathroom stall.” That’s an accusation the couple vehemently denies. I’m inclined to believe them, especially since the security guard immediately focused on the gender of the woman in the bathroom, rather than whether there had been multiple people in a stall. For that matter, even if it were true, that doesn’t justify the response, which was having them prove their gender (separate from people sharing a stall).

Of course gender and bathroom use (and sports, for that matter) has become a hot button political topic in recent times. Surely we can all agree that it’s a little absurd when someone who was born a woman is heckled for using the women’s restroom. Of course there’s also an irony to a man being called into a women’s restroom to try to prove the gender of someone using it.

The hotel suspends security guard following incident

The Liberty Hotel Boston has concluded its investigation into the incident, and has suspended the security guard from his position. The hotel has also stated that all staff are being retrained “on inclusive practices and guest interaction protocols,” and the hotel is making a donation to a local LGBTQ+ organization. Per a statement from the hotel:

“The Liberty Hotel is and always will be an ally of the LGBTQ+ community and a place where everyone is welcome and celebrated. We will continue to educate and train of our team to ensure that everyone feels safe and accepted within our four walls and guests who do not show tolerance and acceptance towards others will be removed.”

I very much appreciate that statement, especially about clearly laying out that those who don’t show tolerance to others will be removed. While that’s a step in the right direction, the couple claims that they still haven’t received a public apology, nor a retraction of the hotel’s original claims, to clarify that there was only one person in the stall.

Bottom line

The Liberty Hotel Boston has been forced to issue an apology, after a woman using the bathroom at the hotel was accused of being a man, and was escorted out of the bathroom, and forced to prove her gender. The woman was both born a woman and identifies as a woman, so that’s a pretty bad mistake for the hotel to make.

The hotel has issued an apology, suspended the security guard, and has promised to remove any guests who don’t show tolerance and acceptance toward others.

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  1. Dave Guest

    Well, she DOES have a men-ish look.

  2. Chris_W Diamond

    The only reason this has been an issue lately is because a large number of male individuals have demanded the right to access what are supposed to be single-sex spaces for women (i.e. those who are female).

    Last month (April 16 to be exact), the UK Supreme Court unanimously ruled that under the Equality Act, sex means biological sex - the sex you were born as - and thus, single-sex spaces are determined by biology,...

    The only reason this has been an issue lately is because a large number of male individuals have demanded the right to access what are supposed to be single-sex spaces for women (i.e. those who are female).

    Last month (April 16 to be exact), the UK Supreme Court unanimously ruled that under the Equality Act, sex means biological sex - the sex you were born as - and thus, single-sex spaces are determined by biology, not identity. To me, this is common sense, and it's a shame it took a Supreme Court to make that determination; maybe we - and the world - need to follow suit. (I hate that this gets politicized, because again, 10-15 years ago, this wouldn't have been a divisive issue at all; I'm a progressive liberal, at least by 2015 standards, never voted for a Republican for president in my life [all blue + one third-party], but man.)

    Anyway, it's understandable that now women are on edge about possible men in their spaces, and a few wrong accusations will be made. It's not the fault of the women who are on edge patrolling their spaces. It's not the fault of the wrongly-accused women, unless they've gone out of their way to look/present like a man. It's the fault of the males giving women a valid reason to suspect there may be males in their spaces to begin with.

    As women's rights activist Helen Staniland put it: "We should be grateful to women who are prepared to challenge people they feel might be in the wrong space. Challenging people's behaviour is a socially accepted means of rule enforcement that we all rely on - we should be pleased that they are looking out for the more vulnerable."

    So how *should* this situation have been handled? From the wording, it sounds like someone else thought the short-haired woman was a man and reported her to the (male) security guard, who took their word for it and entered the bathroom to remove "him," as the other women in the bathroom encouraged him to (with comments like "get him out of here"). Should only a female security guard have entered? What if no female security guards were on duty (which I suspect was probably the case)? Then the security guard asked for ID to confirm their sex (not "gender" - those mean the same to most of us, but "gender" has now been politicized by many to mean what one identifies as - though some states allow people to falsify their IDs based on self-identification; not sure if the couple was from such a state). Asking for ID seems like...an entirely reasonable next step?

    Ben states "at that point, things got heated," which leaves out important details - who escalated things and why? Did the short-haired woman refuse to show her ID? That would lead a reasonable person to think maybe she's really male and has something to hide. Either way, not complying with a security guard's reasonable request is a good way to get kicked out. (On the other hand, if the security guard escalated things by positively accusing her of being a male or a creep before even asking for/checking her ID, that's a different story, but it doesn't sound like that's what happened.)

    So...what part of what happened was wrong, and what should have happened instead, given all the facts of the situation? (If your answer would be a thoughtless "just mind your own business, who cares if there really might have been a male in there without the women's consent," maybe - respectfully - don't bother answering and do some reflection instead.) The only thing I can come up with is that maybe the security guard was too aggressive, but what's the right amount of 'aggressive' for that situation: just walking up, lightly knocking on the stall door, and softly asking for ID to confirm that she's female?

    (As a side note, I can't help but notice the contradiction in the hotel's statement: they want to "ensure that everyone feels safe and accepted within our walls," yet "guests who do not show tolerance and acceptance toward others will be removed." So what, in the future, they'll remove the woman looking out for her fellow women by reporting that there's a male in the women's restroom, even if she's right? Way to keep everyone "safe and accepted"!)

    1. James Guest

      "It's not the fault of the wrongly-accused women, unless they've gone out of their way to look/present like a man"?

      What does that even mean? Are you suggesting this woman was cos-playing at being trans?

      Maybe this woman "went out of her way" to look like the way she felt like she wanted to look? Maybe it's no one's business what another woman looks like?

      Are we saying that if women have short...

      "It's not the fault of the wrongly-accused women, unless they've gone out of their way to look/present like a man"?

      What does that even mean? Are you suggesting this woman was cos-playing at being trans?

      Maybe this woman "went out of her way" to look like the way she felt like she wanted to look? Maybe it's no one's business what another woman looks like?

      Are we saying that if women have short hair then they are to blame for outraged individuals for thinking they are trans? That they should look more feminine? That's barmy.

    2. Dusty Guest

      >The only reason this has been an issue lately is because a large number of male individuals have demanded the right to access what are supposed to be single-sex spaces for women
      Citation ABSOLUTELY needed.
      And moreso, if a guy is in the ladies room using it for its intended purpose, WHO CARES? If he's harassing people then by all means call security, the individual has now done something to merit removal, and...

      >The only reason this has been an issue lately is because a large number of male individuals have demanded the right to access what are supposed to be single-sex spaces for women
      Citation ABSOLUTELY needed.
      And moreso, if a guy is in the ladies room using it for its intended purpose, WHO CARES? If he's harassing people then by all means call security, the individual has now done something to merit removal, and it's no different than if a woman was in the ladies room harassing people. But simply being physically present in the restroom using the toilet and washing his/her hands? That does not require security to intervene.

  3. Jack Guest

    Imagine someone alerting a security guard of a "man" in the women's room but the someone knows or senses the "man" is in fact a woman . . . irrespective of the woman's sexual orientation . . . and is simply trying to harass. I've known straight women whose gender is not visually apparent. Imagine how they would feel from such an incident.

  4. Chris Guest

    What happened to Live and Let Live?

    Or…

    Do to others like you would want them to do to you?

    Odious behaviour by the security staff.

    Poor poor women.

  5. Staradmiral Guest

    What if it was a man and the guard did nothing?
    Damned if you, damned if you don't.

    1. James Guest

      If it was a trans woman and the guard did nothing I guess she would finish her business in the cubicle, wash her hands and head back into the event.

    2. Staradmiral Guest

      I didn't mean transwomen. I meant what if it was a man

    3. Dusty Guest

      Then he'd probably finish his business and leave, just like pretty much every other man that's had to use the restroom designated for women.

  6. Mason Guest

    Marriott seems to care a bit tol much about Thailand.

  7. AeroB13a Diamond

    Click-bait subject for less discerning individuals to entertain themselves.
    Can we move on please?

    1. James Guest

      Dude, scroll on if this one article is not 100pc to your exact tastes.

    2. AeroB13a Diamond

      Thank you for taking the bait James, there is always one …. :-)

    3. justin dev Guest

      @Aerob13a

      Dude, please stop.

    4. AeroB13a Guest

      Stop what?
      Do tell …. :-)

  8. echino Diamond

    Ben, where's your usual "according to her side of the story" disclaimer?

    On another note, I just stayed at the Liberty hotel, and it's a former jail - very atmospheric! And ironic.

    1. digital_notmad Diamond

      because the hotel already confirmed it and took disciplinary action..?

  9. Dan Guest

    She 100% looks like a man. That's why other guests were complaining to the guard, and why the guard asked for ID, since they reasonably thought a man was in the bathroom.

    1. breathesrain Gold

      But do you not see the irony in having a man in a position of authority storm his way into the women's restroom like this? How does it help the safety of all women if they have to be afraid of a male security guard harassing them in the bathroom at any point? This behavior is a perfect perfect for sexual harassment, because guys like this can just make up a reason go into the bathroom and ask women to prove their gender.

    2. fod Member

      So therefore it's reasonable for a transgender woman who looks like a woman to use the woman's bathroom, because people would reasonably believe they are a woman?

    3. Icarus Guest

      Honestly, imho I don’t care. We all pee and poo. I am also educated about menstrual cycles. In emergencies I’ve used the ladies and if I see a long line, have suggested they use the men’s.

    4. JR Guest

      Some women look more masculine, some men look more feminine. Some it’s hard to tell either way. The point is go into the bathroom and do what you need to do without bothering someone else in a stall unless they’re doing something wrong, which she clearly wasn’t

    5. James Guest

      Who cares how this woman looked? Are we to demand all women now have long golden hair and frilly pink dresses to use the ladies? This is the issue now, people are so inflamed about trans issues - and the tiny number of trans people - that they’re making this ridiculous fuss because this woman doesn’t look exactly how they think she should.

    6. Dusty Guest

      Exactly @James. First it was the bob cut destroying American moral values, now it's the crew cut. Conservatives haven't changed, they just built a louder megaphone, but at the end of the day it's much ado about nothing.

  10. Andrew Guest

    In defense of my Lesbian friends - some Lesbians have "butch" haircuts which make them look more masculine. All gender bathrooms would solve this problem immediately.

    Please don't get rid of completely private stalls - where else would bible thumping conservative republican men go to have sex with other bible thumping conservative republican men when attending the RNC meetings ?

    -- A GWM

    1. Arps Diamond

      I have an even more immediate solution than all-gender bathrooms. Stop caring about this and mind your own business. Do you know why I'm constantly on this website waxing lyrical about the virtues of being equity partner at a top law firm? It's not just about the money. It's also because when you have something like this in your life - and make no mistake, when you're equity partner, that is your entire identity -...

      I have an even more immediate solution than all-gender bathrooms. Stop caring about this and mind your own business. Do you know why I'm constantly on this website waxing lyrical about the virtues of being equity partner at a top law firm? It's not just about the money. It's also because when you have something like this in your life - and make no mistake, when you're equity partner, that is your entire identity - you have no time for other things. You have no time for nonsense like bathroom policing.

    2. So Busy / Yet So Much Time To Comment Guest

      "...when you're equity partner, that is your entire identity - you have no time for other things."

      Hahaha Arps you're fooling no one. You clearly have plenty of time to comment here (8 times on this article alone). Commenting this extensively is not indicative of a full diary.

      If you're so determined to maintain the fiction of your lofty perch in society, perhaps comment less to stay in character.

    3. Arps Farts Guest

      You don't wax lyrical about anything, honey.

  11. Arps Diamond

    I'm actually sympathetic to the Marriott brand here, it had clearly no involvement in this matter and its brand doesn't deserve to be tarnished in this way.

    1. Ha! Guest

      A fake lawyer is sympathetic to a hotel brand that doesn't care if hotel owners follow published standards.

  12. Alonzo Diamond

    Wouldn't have this issue if we just had gender-less bathrooms. Why can't everyone just pee together?

    1. Arps Diamond

      (reposted after erroneously replying to the wrong comment)

      SFO has all-gender bathrooms. I (man) exited a stall once and got major side eye from 2 separate women who entered the bathroom. It was apparent that "all gender" bathrooms are really for women and I should have used the men's room.

    2. Ralph4878 Guest

      Yep! We have genderless bathrooms on airplanes, and everyone seems just fine with that!

  13. Antwerp Guest

    Why are some people so obsessed with other’s genitalia?

    1. Arps Diamond

      Because as I stated in my post below, everybody needs a passion in life. For me it's the law and professional client service. For low class losers in middle America it's policing your genitals.

    2. Fake Lawyer Guest

      Your passion is clearly meticulously tending to your fictitious identity online. Does that make you a winner?

    3. Arps Diamond

      SFO has all-gender bathrooms. I (man) exited a stall once and got major side eye from 2 separate women who entered the bathroom. It was apparent that "all gender" bathrooms are really for women and I should have used the men's room.

    4. Arps Diamond

      Damn I responded to the wrong comment

  14. Arps Diamond

    There are exactly 2 reasons the "coastal elite" people (e.g. in Manhattan) are overwhelmingly liberal and look down upon conservative middle America.

    1/ We mind our own business
    So what if there were 2 people in one stall? A man in the woman's bathroom? All women's bathroom stalls are private, there are no urinals where you could potentially glimpse other people's genitals. The purpose of a bathroom is to do your business in private....

    There are exactly 2 reasons the "coastal elite" people (e.g. in Manhattan) are overwhelmingly liberal and look down upon conservative middle America.

    1/ We mind our own business
    So what if there were 2 people in one stall? A man in the woman's bathroom? All women's bathroom stalls are private, there are no urinals where you could potentially glimpse other people's genitals. The purpose of a bathroom is to do your business in private. Nothing in this story suggests that was precluded in any way.

    2/ We have better things to do
    Do you know why conservatives in middle America worry about shit like this - because this is literally all they have to discuss in their lives. People, liberals and conservatives alike, crave action and drama. Life would be very boring otherwise. The action in liberal cities is high-end arts, culture, music, food, and lucrative endeavors such as being a law firm associate or partner. These consume all of one's time and leave none left over for nonsense like bathroom gender policing. Unfortunately middle America has nothing going on other than drug addictions, obesity, and MAGA politics.

    1. Elizabeth Guest

      Umm ok. I'm with you, but why so much condescension and blaming "middle America"? It happened in Boston. This is wrong no matter where it happens.

    2. Gross, Arps Guest

      Hey Arps - if you have better things to do, why are you such a prolific commenter here?

      That aside, you have a way about you. I know this is just another episode in your online cosplay as an elite attorney and member of high society, but this is exactly the kind of smug attitude that makes me dislike some people I agree with. It's like the Bill Maher effect - when I agree with...

      Hey Arps - if you have better things to do, why are you such a prolific commenter here?

      That aside, you have a way about you. I know this is just another episode in your online cosplay as an elite attorney and member of high society, but this is exactly the kind of smug attitude that makes me dislike some people I agree with. It's like the Bill Maher effect - when I agree with him, I feel gross because of the odious manner with which he makes his points.

      I've met plenty of people in middle America who nominally identify as conservatives or even MAGAs who behave kindly, the way we'd think "good liberals" behave every day. I've also meant plenty of big city people who espouse the right high minded liberal ideals who behave like creeps. Part of this stems from cultural identifiers and othering people outside your geographic area, and the way you've phrased things perpetuates that cycle.

    3. Manhattan is a fishbowl mon ami Guest

      Manhattan resident here, long time resident of a prewar co-op. People do not mind their own business. Staying out of building gossip requires almost ninja-like stealth. Residents who appear at the right fundraisers and parties can also be shockingly bigoted even though they know how to hide behind liberal sounding phrasing.

      Went to uni at Oberlin and got to experience rural Ohio. There are some genuinely kind people out there who don't always know the...

      Manhattan resident here, long time resident of a prewar co-op. People do not mind their own business. Staying out of building gossip requires almost ninja-like stealth. Residents who appear at the right fundraisers and parties can also be shockingly bigoted even though they know how to hide behind liberal sounding phrasing.

      Went to uni at Oberlin and got to experience rural Ohio. There are some genuinely kind people out there who don't always know the right words to use, but have amazing hearts. We stayed at a B&B owned by a 67 year old woman who used the word "oriental" and was also studying Mandarin for her first trip to China because she wanted to connect with the people.

  15. Icarus Guest

    So a man bursts into a woman's restroom to protect women from men ? The irony of it being called the Liberty Hotel.

    1. Arps Diamond

      It's like rain on your wedding day

    2. Jokes are Fun Guest

      Arps. More comments like these, please. This made me LOL and is so much better than the rest of your oeuvre.

  16. Miami305 Diamond

    Obviously more training is needed. No company can stop one individual that has prejudices. They can only educate and remove bad employees.

    Looking at the image Lucky showed in the video, I would have thought this woman was a man. Perhaps my own prejudice. But it is also not my job (or my business) so I could stay out of this if I were there.

    I do sympathize with almost everyone involved. This poor...

    Obviously more training is needed. No company can stop one individual that has prejudices. They can only educate and remove bad employees.

    Looking at the image Lucky showed in the video, I would have thought this woman was a man. Perhaps my own prejudice. But it is also not my job (or my business) so I could stay out of this if I were there.

    I do sympathize with almost everyone involved. This poor lady who was harassed, obviously. But, also the women in line who clearly have their own prejudices, but whom also have been harassed and threatened enough by men in their lives that they have become super sensitive (prejudice) in such situations. And even the security guard, whom I can only assume was called into the situation with a lens of 'there is a man in the lady's room'. Clearly training and education needs to be conducted.

    1. You Know Who Guest

      The (presumably) women who reported the victim for being a man in the women's restroom are creeps for assuming a butch woman minding her own business is a man, the security guard is a creep for his aggressive actions and demanding they prove their gender. Super gross and indicative of a societal problem. I wonder what person or group is responsible for exacerbating this in society of late?

  17. Dusty Guest

    Should have also banned the guests who got security involved. This is where the RWNJ culture war crap leads. Just absolutely disgraceful behavior by self-appointed morality police.

  18. yoloswag420 Guest

    I mean this is sadly the world we live in, where we can't literally mind our own business.

    The side that says they're about "protecting women" are now policing women in bathrooms. We're only one stop away from doing genital checks on people.

    1. AeroB13a Diamond

      Some of us might like that prospect yoloswag, only joking ‘onest John’ …. :-)

Featured Comments Most helpful comments ( as chosen by the OMAAT community ).

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Fake Lawyer Guest

Your passion is clearly meticulously tending to your fictitious identity online. Does that make you a winner?

5
Elizabeth Guest

Umm ok. I'm with you, but why so much condescension and blaming "middle America"? It happened in Boston. This is wrong no matter where it happens.

5
Ha! Guest

A fake lawyer is sympathetic to a hotel brand that doesn't care if hotel owners follow published standards.

4
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