OMAAT reader Paul pointed me to a hotel review that kind of cracked me up, and I imagine others will get a kick out of it as well…
In this post:
Marriott didn’t provide “privacy and safety to be intimate”
Kananaskis Mountain Lodge is a Marriott Autograph Collection property in Alberta, Canada. Marriott’s website and app let Bonvoy members share reviews of their stays, which is generally a useful feature. As you’d expect, we’re all looking for different things from hotel experiences, and reviews reflect that
That brings us to this review, which was published several days ago, by the username “Sad Couple,” and a rating of two of five stars:
A Great Family-Friendly Resort not Suitable for Couples
We arrived at 3:45 pm and were notified that our room was currently being cleaned and that the room would be available at 4:30 pm and it was. As a Gold-Elite member, I requested a room a few doors down from any families as we were celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary, but none were available. The kids next door told us “we can hear you” while my wife and I were being intimate even though we were quiet, which led us to believe that the walls were fairly thin. Nonetheless, we realized that we weren’t going to have the privacy and safety to be intimate while staying there. There were no complimentary waters in our room and we had trees for a view. When we offered this feedback to the front desk manager (Jero) we were told that he “hopes to have the chance to serve us again under better circumstances.” This is a good family-friendly resort but I can’t recommend it for a couples stay. The food at Forte was the highlight of our stay but that is the only thing that was overly positive.
I sympathize with these issues, but am still amused
I don’t want to dismiss the substance of this review, because I think there are some valid complaints (I assume this is all serious, and not a joke?). But it’s somehow the totality and order of the complaints that can’t help but make this sort of amusing:
- Check-in time is 4PM, so having to wait until 4:30PM for check-in isn’t ideal (but it does happen)
- I can’t help but wonder how the initial request was made for a room away from families; did this person literally explain they were celebrating their 15th anniversary, and therefore wanted to be away from families?
- If kids in a room next door really said “we can hear you” while they were being “quiet,” that’s mighty awkward; I do feel like claiming they “weren’t going to have the privacy and safety to be intimate while staying here” might be a bit of a stretch, though
- Then I love how the next sentence is about a lack of complimentary water, plus a view of trees (that doesn’t necessarily sound like a bad view?)
- I just have to know, when the feedback was shared with the front office manager at check-out, did they really explain everything? I mean, if so, good for them…
To be constructive here:
- Maybe there just weren’t any other rooms available, but if poor sound insulation was an issue, I would’ve complained more directly while on property, in hopes of finding a solution, like a room without a connecting door
- Yes, if you’re celebrating your 15th anniversary and are looking for a “romantic” time, a family friendly hotel with a water park might not be the ideal locale
Bottom line
A Marriott Bonvoy Gold member had an unpleasant stay at a Marriott Autograph Collection property, while celebrating a 15th anniversary. The primary complaint is that the hotel had poor sound insulation, so while the couple was intimate, the kids next door told them “we can hear you,” which meant they “weren’t going to have the privacy and safety to be intimate while staying here.”
Honestly, poor sound insulation at hotels is outrageously frustrating, because it typically comes from cutting corners on construction costs. There’s such a difference between a room where you hear nothing, vs. one where you hear everything going on in the room next door, in the hallway, etc.
What do you make of this Marriott complaint?
At least the guest was aware of the issue and tried to be proactive? This reminds of my first trip with my infant son at the Hilton Hotel del Coronado back in 2019. Trying to put the kid to bed, and the guy next door is going at it with two (!!) women, very loudly, on the balcony for over an hour. Between that, the sagging mattresses, and the fire alarm at 2 AM, I swore I'd never go back.
I don't buy it. Kids don't just walk up to a stranger and say, "we can hear you."
Also, this dude is in Alberta and he's complaining about a view of trees? What does he prefer? A view of the parking lot?
The comedy is they are gold snd they think they are elite in their status. I spend over half the year at Marriott properties, and no they are not perfect however I have never seen a property try to make a client’s stay uncomfortable. It’s all blah blah, guests can take responsibility and communicate better with staff if they aren’t happy with their accommodations or this is a special event etc.
Do these people expect front desk to track which rooms have "families"?
Your concept of a “view of trees” and mine are decidedly different. It might be pleasant and then again, maybe not. I recall several years ago while staying at the former Marriott Frenchman’s Reef in St. Thomas, our 4th or 5th floor ocean view room was 100% blocked by the top of a bunch of palm trees. We immediately kindly requested a different room.
If check-in is 4:00pm and I’m there at around 4:00pm...
Your concept of a “view of trees” and mine are decidedly different. It might be pleasant and then again, maybe not. I recall several years ago while staying at the former Marriott Frenchman’s Reef in St. Thomas, our 4th or 5th floor ocean view room was 100% blocked by the top of a bunch of palm trees. We immediately kindly requested a different room.
If check-in is 4:00pm and I’m there at around 4:00pm and can’t get in to the room until 4:30pm, I’d like a little consideration - perhaps a cocktail in the bar while waiting, or a few extra worthless Bonvoy points, or something.
The premise of all this is also comical in that he indicates he's a Gold Marriott member as if that is some high status. Every Tom, Dick & Harry is a gold member
Not Tom, Dick or Harry. Call me chump.
I made the bad choice of the Hilton treadmill for the last 30 years so only have lifetime Bonvoy Silver. Had Starwood Platinum at the end of the last century but lost it. Have 10 nights to go for Hilton DFL and 15 missing stay nights but they refuse to honour.
As someone who stays in hotels a _lot_ I do think thin walls are a problem. It's a hotel - the rooms should be designed to isolate sound from each other. I'd say I get a few moments of of intimitate noises on somewhere around 5% of hotel nights.
Extra interesting as all of Canada’s Western Premiers and staff had their annual meeting at this property last week.
Headlines did say the meetings got off to a rough start.
I'm local to the hotel in question. It's built in the 80s and was rebranded recently, along with a Nordic spa. I would say that it's more for romantic getaways than family vacations. There's a ski hill and hiking trails nearby but no amusement parks, musems, etc that makes it too family friendly
Wait - for a second I thought I was reading Gary's trash.
I thought so too, until I saw the part about "being intimate."
Never gets old.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCqm4H3m3Ew
If anything, the review should have been the opposite.
The kids parent should be complaining that the couple next door was doing it so "intense".
And what's wrong with the trees?
It's a "mountain" lodge right?
Or they wanted no trees so they can complain that deers on the mountain are watching them being intimate.
Crazy couple. Must be related to Tim Dunn.
Exactly, and the family's complaint should still have been against the hotel, as the couple had a reasonable expectation of being able to make use of the room!
I stayed at a lodge on a small lake in Wisconsin years ago with my then-girlfriend on a corporate retreat her company was having. Next door to us was another couple - a diminutive little man and a very large woman. The walls between our rooms were paper thin. I am no prude but my god, we heard unspeakable things for most of the night. After getting no sleep, we were forced to sit next...
I stayed at a lodge on a small lake in Wisconsin years ago with my then-girlfriend on a corporate retreat her company was having. Next door to us was another couple - a diminutive little man and a very large woman. The walls between our rooms were paper thin. I am no prude but my god, we heard unspeakable things for most of the night. After getting no sleep, we were forced to sit next to the couple at breakfast, who could only talk about the lovely rest they got during the night. I didn't have the heart (or desire) to tell them about our experience. I've never finished breakfast faster and now I look through reviews to see if anyone has complained about soundproofing before I book a new hotel.
This sounds highly amusing but poor soundproofing is no laughing matter. I recently spent four nights in a small independent hotel which was very decent but had an appallingly installed door to the balcony, to the point of convincing me that something had been left open.
It was on a side street which got zero traffic in the evening so it didn't actually affect my sleep quality, but there was some activity (shops etc)...
This sounds highly amusing but poor soundproofing is no laughing matter. I recently spent four nights in a small independent hotel which was very decent but had an appallingly installed door to the balcony, to the point of convincing me that something had been left open.
It was on a side street which got zero traffic in the evening so it didn't actually affect my sleep quality, but there was some activity (shops etc) during the day and I failed both times I attempted to do a bit of a siesta in order to freshen up ahead of an evening out.
Soundproofing is a real issue with many hotels, and it doesn't really matter whether what's being heard is sex, conversation, shower/toilet plumbing, TV series or anything else- it can easily ruin a stay or even an entire trip.
Dude should be more upset that his wife was faking it.
Wife should be more upset that dude can't get it up because kids can hear him.
I mean, good on them for going at it hammer and tongs after 15 years of marriage...
Both could be married to someone else for 15 years.
This is their getaway from their partners.
Why do Americans act like toddlers about sex?
Nobody needs to know. Anyone can moan in their own room. If ‘kids can hear’ then it’s either staged porn or they’re in the same room!
Then why are we all trying to know about Epstein's private life?
"Then why are we all trying to know about Epstein's private life?"
If you're asking that question seriously, then...yeah, you do you.
@K4
Not necessarily. When I stayed at the Thompson Gild Hall in NYC back in 2019 I could hear the couple going at it in the next room. It doesn't bother me personally (but I also don't have kids that could ask awkward questions), but a LOT of hotels in the US have very little soundproofing.
@Dusty
Ok perhaps I’m underestimating lack of soundproofing. However, my point is a bit different. ‘Natural sex’ shouldn’t be that loud. Even with no soundproofing and just a door it can range from heavy breathing to screaming. If the reviewer was concerned about his privacy then I’m sure they could have adapted their volume. To a foreign mindset (British not USA) this just sounds like trying to gloat online about being able to achieve a...
@Dusty
Ok perhaps I’m underestimating lack of soundproofing. However, my point is a bit different. ‘Natural sex’ shouldn’t be that loud. Even with no soundproofing and just a door it can range from heavy breathing to screaming. If the reviewer was concerned about his privacy then I’m sure they could have adapted their volume. To a foreign mindset (British not USA) this just sounds like trying to gloat online about being able to achieve a natural bodily function with the opposite gender.
Just because you're quiet during sex, doesn't mean everyone else has to be. We're not all emotionally stunted. Hotels should be soundproofed adequately. I don't want people hearing my wife and my private conversations either for that matter.
There are decent hotels under the Marriott brands, but overall these points hotels are a shell game wherein you're charged more than you should be for what you get, you try to accumulate points that are constantly being devalued for "aspirational stays" at their so-called luxury brands that are, for the most part, poor cousins to their supposed peers in the luxury hotel world.
Get out of the shell game people. stack cash and just...
There are decent hotels under the Marriott brands, but overall these points hotels are a shell game wherein you're charged more than you should be for what you get, you try to accumulate points that are constantly being devalued for "aspirational stays" at their so-called luxury brands that are, for the most part, poor cousins to their supposed peers in the luxury hotel world.
Get out of the shell game people. stack cash and just stop letting these people lead you around by the nose.
Wait.
What does devaluation have to do with couples doing it next door?
VFTW vibes
Vocals when
F***ing through
Thin
Wall
vibes.
Marriott should be familiar with the principles of nullifying sounds of such behavior. How do you think they prevent elites from figuring out that someone is getting Bonvoyed?
@ ORD_Is_My_Second_Home -- Well played!!
There is intimacy after 15 years of marriage?
You married the wrong person?
I've never been married and enjoy being single for now. But I hear married people complain about the intimacy fading away after couple of years or so.
@Ben... Completely unrelated to the subject matter but I'm curious about the way you go about posting things that others have said. Many other blogs do the same thing so this isn't a nit pick on the way you format things.
In the attached article, you quote what the couple said and then immediately after you post a screen shot(?) of the exact same thing you just quoted. Why?
As I said, I've...
@Ben... Completely unrelated to the subject matter but I'm curious about the way you go about posting things that others have said. Many other blogs do the same thing so this isn't a nit pick on the way you format things.
In the attached article, you quote what the couple said and then immediately after you post a screen shot(?) of the exact same thing you just quoted. Why?
As I said, I've seen plenty of other blogs and even news articles do the same thing.
Seems like a duplicate of effort.
Thanks
@ Patrick -- Fair question. I generally prefer to actually type out what's written, since I realize it's easier for people to read that way (especially with so many people reading on mobile devices, where it can be hard to read screenshots).
So why include a screenshot as well? Well, some people are visual, in terms of wanting to see the username, how many stars were given, proof of it actually having been posted, etc....
@ Patrick -- Fair question. I generally prefer to actually type out what's written, since I realize it's easier for people to read that way (especially with so many people reading on mobile devices, where it can be hard to read screenshots).
So why include a screenshot as well? Well, some people are visual, in terms of wanting to see the username, how many stars were given, proof of it actually having been posted, etc. Furthermore, I generally post screenshots just in the event that something ends up being deleted.
I can understand your confusion, though, so my apologies for that. :-)
Start your own blog.
Do as you want.
Be your own boss.
You could be making 6 figures with just 4 hours a week.
Just buy this online course after listening to 90 mins of the too good to be true sales pitch.
Wouldn't hear a sound on an airplane .
"Safety to be intimate" lmao. Man yell through the wall to those kids that sex is how those little jokers were created.
I seriously doubt they were being all that quiet if people in the next room could hear them, regardless of the sound insulation.
Exactly lol and that is how the hotel should respond . Headboard banging on the wall . The other family should also complain
You'd think, but I've stayed in plenty of supposedly nice 4-star hotels (including a Hyatt Regency) where you could hear *everything* next door. Including a guy activating Siri on his phone and asking, in a completely normal voice, what the weather would be today, plus his phone's detailed response - every syllable, as if it was in the same room as me. Connecting doors are genuinely the worst (but sometimes you hear stuff you don't...
You'd think, but I've stayed in plenty of supposedly nice 4-star hotels (including a Hyatt Regency) where you could hear *everything* next door. Including a guy activating Siri on his phone and asking, in a completely normal voice, what the weather would be today, plus his phone's detailed response - every syllable, as if it was in the same room as me. Connecting doors are genuinely the worst (but sometimes you hear stuff you don't want to hear anyway, even without one, due to paper-thin walls).
“Marriott Gold member blasts hotel” sounds serious until you remember Gold status is typically no more than “congrats on owning a credit card.”
I love the "as a Gold elite member" line. You just know that it is a guy who got staus from a card and thinks he should be treated as a rock star.
Why do people assume he got it from a credit card. This hobby has toxic inferiority complex when it comes to status. So afraid of people with status, believing they probably never earned it.
He could be banging 25 mistresses every year FWIW.