I travel solo quite a bit, and I always struggle to decide what to do when it comes to dining in these situations, assuming I’m not meeting anyone for meals. So that brings me to a topic where I’m curious to get the thoughts of OMAAT readers…
In this post:
Dining alone when traveling can be intimidating
“Just a table for one?” There’s an inherent bias against solo diners. If you’ve dined alone, you’ve probably been asked that question when you walked into a restaurant, which almost makes you want to get defensive.
Why is dining alone a “just” situation, while that’s not the case if there are multiple people? I get that there’s no harm intended with the phrase, but I do think social norms dictate that there’s something “strange” about dining alone. Or maybe I’m just overthinking things.
As someone who travels alone quite a bit, I always struggle with how to approach dining when I’m in a new city, especially outside the country. As I see it, there are a few general approaches you can take:
- You can go to restaurants like anyone else and get a table; admittedly you might feel a little more out of place if you’re dining at a buzzy restaurant on a Friday night than in the restaurant of a business hotel
- You can also go to a restaurant and sit at the bar in hopes of striking up conversations with interesting people, or whatever
- You can just avoid having sit-down meals in public, and either get hotel room service, order something via Uber Eats or another app, or you can pick something up from a restaurant or fast food establishment
The approach that I take to dining when traveling
I’m an introverted person, but I love people watching, I enjoy great food, and I like a fun vibe, even if I’m not being super social. So what approach do I take to dining when traveling?
Well, I’m all over the place, with one exception — I’m not someone who ever sits at a crowded bar, because I’m just not social enough to enjoy talking to strangers that I don’t necessarily have anything in common with.
It goes without saying that for us introverts, eating in hotel rooms is going to be the easiest and most “comfortable,” but also the least interesting. Personally, I always feel comfortable getting a table at a hotel restaurant, since hotels inherently have a transient and mixed guest profile. I rarely find that to be uncomfortable.
However, in recent times, I’ve also increasingly tried to just go out to restaurants when traveling abroad, and getting a table to enjoy the ambiance. I try to be strategic about the restaurants I choose, but for the most part, I have a great time, and I’m happy with that decision.
Here’s what I struggle with, though, when dining out. If you’re just sitting at a table alone in silence, what’s the appropriate way to behave, if there is one?
- Are you just supposed to sit there in silence without distractions, and “raw dog” the meal, and just sit there and enjoy the peace?
- Is it okay to be on your smartphone for a good portion of the time (without talking), texting, responding to emails, checking social media, etc.?
- What about bringing headphones and then at least in one ear listening to a podcast or watching a show, or something? Or reading a book?
- What about bringing your laptop so that you can work during the meal?
Personally, I try to “raw dog” solo meals as much as possible, though I often end up spending quite a bit of time looking at my phone, which I don’t feel great about, but also, I’m just not good at sitting still.
Maybe reading a book is a good option that doesn’t take away from the vibe. When I observe people using electronics, I’m always conflicted. For example, Ford and I went to a very nice restaurant when we were in Taiwan several weeks ago, and the lady at the table next to us was dining alone, and she spent the entire meal taking pictures of herself (like hundreds), which… I guess… you do you?
I’ll often see people (and not just little kids) sit in restaurants maybe watching a TV show on their phone with headphones, and personally that doesn’t bother me, and I’m tempted to do that sometimes, but I’m curious how others feel about that. Is it different if you have headphones vs. one earbud in?
When it comes to laptops, I’ll only bring a laptop to a meal if I’m dining at a hotel (or something similar) where there’s not much ambiance and it’s quite empty, because I don’t want to throw off the vibe for others.
Anyway, those are my impressions and how I approach things, but I’d love to hear from others, both in terms of solo dining preferences when traveling, and also what you think is and isn’t appropriate for solo diners (using electronics, etc.).
Bottom line
While hardly the world’s most pressing issue, I do always struggle with deciding how to approach solo dining when traveling, especially since I’m quite introverted. I think it’s awesome that many people are happy sitting at a bar and just chatting people up, but that’s not me.
I’ve largely gotten over that awkward feeling I used to have when sitting at a table “just” for one, as I do enjoy being out and about when I can be, and dining is a big part of traveling. What I struggle with is deciding whether to just sit there looking around, vs. heavy smartphone use.
I’m curious to hear from others — how do you approach dining when traveling solo? Please disclose whether you’re an introvert or extrovert as well. 😉
I love eating at restaurants alone, traveling or at home. It's a relaxing break. I have no hesitation going to a 3 star Michelin restaurant by myself. I read my kindle when not focused on the food - I enjoy reading + it seems to be a good balance between entertaining myself and maintaining the ambiance.
If Im in an interesting place solo, then i’ll grab a table at a nice restaurant with outdoor space or a good view of an active area at least one of the nights. Shame not to at least once during a trip.
The phone can come out for limited use but I wouldn’t feel comfortable being on it the whole time in a decent restaurant. —Absolutely NO to ear buds or video. —
A book would be ideal hands down if I was reading one at the time of the trip.
For two decades I traveled at least bi-monthly to international destinations at the behest of my masters. Some were regular destinations, staying in the same hotel for one or two nights.
When in a hotel or restaurant bar and you ask for “Taliban Champagne”, it is not only the bar tender who takes notice. Believe it or not, I am very sociable, therefore, I would impose myself upon some interesting group, couple or individual....
For two decades I traveled at least bi-monthly to international destinations at the behest of my masters. Some were regular destinations, staying in the same hotel for one or two nights.
When in a hotel or restaurant bar and you ask for “Taliban Champagne”, it is not only the bar tender who takes notice. Believe it or not, I am very sociable, therefore, I would impose myself upon some interesting group, couple or individual. Conversation and a laugh is almost always guaranteed. If I like the look of the company and consider that the conversation might be interesting, then I will initiate the dining suggestion.
I was never ‘on the pull’ as they say, just simply content to chat with interesting fellow travellers for a couple of hours. Trust me, being bold beats the hell out of staring at one’s iPhone, iPad or MacBook.
There are massive advantages to dining alone.
If a restaurant is crowded i ask for the first available seat whether its at a bar or a table or even a couch its all acceptable to me.
...Simple reason i like getting to the food and drinks part quickly. But when you are with a significant other or worse a group of people than you have to prebook or wait till eternity for table.
There are massive advantages to dining alone.
If a restaurant is crowded i ask for the first available seat whether its at a bar or a table or even a couch its all acceptable to me.
Simple reason i like getting to the food and drinks part quickly. But when you are with a significant other or worse a group of people than you have to prebook or wait till eternity for table.
Also once i am done i can get up and walk away, after paying the bill. In company there is always a bottle of wine still left to be finished. Plus ladies i dunno what you do in the powder room but you take awfully, awfully long.
Another factor is, when i dine alone the bill is x dollars. And when i dine with someone else the bill is 4x dollars. I never understood the math here.
Topping it all, when alone, you get to order and consume all of what you wanted. No sharing of your fave appetizers or worse exchanging her salad for your amazing entree.
Plus i like to eat in peace. And there is no peace with another person telling you a long winded, boring story, when you have to pay attention as your food gets cold.
So i look forward to dining alone.
“Enjoy the ambiance” Papa Schlappig mentioned
As others have said, you get over it after a while especially if you travel alone often for business. Lots of options where it's not unusual like a cafe, diner, sushi counter, ramen shop, etc. Good opportunity to sample local street food as well.
First I find a woman , and then I go to a nice restaurant and eat with her .
When I dine alone, I often go way back in to the archive of OMAAT (and LALF). Re-reading COVID era articles is kind of fascinating, as are reviews from airlines like TAAG and China Southern.
Honestly, there's no stigma to it. 1 person at a 2-top is no different than 3 people at a 4-top.
I love to solo dine, I have been doing so since I was a teenager. I bring a book (paper or eBook) and a notebook + pen. I usually read and people watch. If inspired, I write.
I don't usually sit at the bar, as I am short and bar stools are uncomfortably tall. If I am at a bar, I will sit at a table and people watch all the folks in between...
I love to solo dine, I have been doing so since I was a teenager. I bring a book (paper or eBook) and a notebook + pen. I usually read and people watch. If inspired, I write.
I don't usually sit at the bar, as I am short and bar stools are uncomfortably tall. If I am at a bar, I will sit at a table and people watch all the folks in between reading and writing.
I have written whole 15,000 word stories this way. There is a great pub in London that I can sit at for hours and write.
Do you write stories expanding on your comment ? Or other subjects ?
Ben, I gotta ask why when dining alone at a restaurant would you give a damn what people thought?
Like you, I travel alone the vast majority of time. Whether for work or pleasure I’m generally alone. When entering a restaurant with a host I immediately ask for a table for one before they can ask or assume otherwise. Sometimes they’ll say something like “Just you?” and I’ll often make a joke of it saying...
Ben, I gotta ask why when dining alone at a restaurant would you give a damn what people thought?
Like you, I travel alone the vast majority of time. Whether for work or pleasure I’m generally alone. When entering a restaurant with a host I immediately ask for a table for one before they can ask or assume otherwise. Sometimes they’ll say something like “Just you?” and I’ll often make a joke of it saying something like “I don’t know, perhaps I’ll get lucky and somebody will join me.” When at the table I primarily just look at my phone, reading something mindless like one Mile at a Time!. I’m sure some people stare, but I don’t give a damn. I’m there to eat a meal, nothing more, nothing less.
I just eat at the bar or a table, whatever seems best for location. However, if in a city that I've been too many times and also near a Whole Foods (Looking at you Seattle and Baltimore), I just got the Salad/Hot bar at WF and bring it back to the room.
As an introvert and primarily solo traveler over last decade plus, I love dining alone. Never had any qualms about it and have never run into any issues with it at bars/restaurants at all levels. For me, I prefer to take in the ambiance/people watch, and if I feel like being somewhat social, I'll sit at the bar and chat with the staff. I might check my phone every now and then, but I'm definitely...
As an introvert and primarily solo traveler over last decade plus, I love dining alone. Never had any qualms about it and have never run into any issues with it at bars/restaurants at all levels. For me, I prefer to take in the ambiance/people watch, and if I feel like being somewhat social, I'll sit at the bar and chat with the staff. I might check my phone every now and then, but I'm definitely not going to be buried in it the whole time. And for what it's worth, flying solo has helped me get into busier places quicker as a walk-in since often times I can just take the next table/seat that opens up rather than waiting for multiple seats/larger table. Also, I rarely dine at the hotel/eat in my room because I'd much rather explore the city I'm in, and with certain exceptions, hotel dining is underwhelming and overpriced.
I like to eat in a restaurant with smaller tables where there is a good mix of single and non-single eaters, so I do not stand out. I do not seek conversation, though sometimes it happens naturally, because of curious locals. When eating alone I usually read something, but instead of a book I choose small leaflet, a newspaper article or a tourist brochure, anything of a smaller size. No electronics, phone use only for...
I like to eat in a restaurant with smaller tables where there is a good mix of single and non-single eaters, so I do not stand out. I do not seek conversation, though sometimes it happens naturally, because of curious locals. When eating alone I usually read something, but instead of a book I choose small leaflet, a newspaper article or a tourist brochure, anything of a smaller size. No electronics, phone use only for text messages. As a foodie, I enjoy the meal when it comes. More of an introvert.
I often travel and dine alone, most of the time when I look at other diners in groups I'm grateful to be alone :)
Have no issue with eating alone at any place. I would either read or watch something on the phone or just watch people. Never felt intimated by question about one person only. Restaurants are there, so I can eat, that's their purpose. I don't think about restaurant as a special place or for special occasions.
I order room service in hotels where it doesn't make sense to go out and eat or it's just more convenient.
Been dining solo for work trips and personal trips for years now. I love dining out and I'll usually spend 40% of the time looking at my phone and 60% of the time enjoying the ambiance and food, engaging with the waiter. My personal take is that headphones/laptop would be offputting if not rude. You're in a social environment closing yourself off from being social in a very visible way that might detract from other's...
Been dining solo for work trips and personal trips for years now. I love dining out and I'll usually spend 40% of the time looking at my phone and 60% of the time enjoying the ambiance and food, engaging with the waiter. My personal take is that headphones/laptop would be offputting if not rude. You're in a social environment closing yourself off from being social in a very visible way that might detract from other's experience at the restaurant. The way I think about it is: if every person around me was doing what I'm doing, would I be bothered? A book might be fine if you're at a casual restaurant or cafe.
The only pitfall is that sometime the host is aggressive in pushing me to the bar setup which is usually a subpar experience. I generally prefer to dine slightly early at a proper (small) table and love people watching as well.
I travel all over the world a handful of times a year, almost always to cities. I eat out alone at any restaurant, even if it’s formal/fine dining. I’ll go one earbud and listen to a podcast so I’m looking around/not staring at a phone, but also no just “raw dogging” the meal. I’m more of an extrovert so will try to sit at the bar. Often you can’t reserve a take for one so you inevitably get the “just one” when checking in.
Having been perpetually single until a few years ago and lover of the process of eating out I never let being single stop me from eating out.
The actual etiquette would differ but I would normally just sit on my phone for a good portion. I would read the news, article (maybe this blog) at fancier places but I never felt odd pulling gout some earphones at a more casual place.
Having also...
Having been perpetually single until a few years ago and lover of the process of eating out I never let being single stop me from eating out.
The actual etiquette would differ but I would normally just sit on my phone for a good portion. I would read the news, article (maybe this blog) at fancier places but I never felt odd pulling gout some earphones at a more casual place.
Having also had to travel for work and doing solo travel for fun, ordering in would've been a great waste.
Eat at the bar is my go to.