Usually it’s women who face discrimination when traveling, so here’s one case where straight men are being discriminated against (and gay men, but discrimination for gay men isn’t that unusual).
Continue reading: Wow, Some Turkish Hotels Really Hate Men…
Share your questions, experiences, and thoughts below.
Uhh, haven't you heard? Twice the men means twice the party! Any party you've been to where that isn't true simply means you showed up to the wrong party!
With regards to this hotel in particular... I haven't much to say, but I definitely feel like I've met people who share the views of the owner before.
I wonder how they feel about single ladies or two women checking in? No ladies = no party? What about the poles?
A guy I follow on Insta had the same problem at a Ramada in Turkey. Two men not allowed to book a room. Don’t know if the “party too hard” reason was the flimsy excuse given…
I suspect this is more about behavior than sexuality. In South Asia I've seen malls and even Museums clearly state NO admittance to single or groups of men in certain age ranges (non-Elderly) unless they are part of a larger family group. I guess they idea is that a spouse or family will keep their behavior in check. When I asked at a mall I was told that before the policy groups of men would congregate and harass women and young (teenage) girls
Are two women allowed to check in together?
I know some hotel owners in party destinations in Asia try to deter single Russian men from checking in. The stereotype is that they party too hard and trash the place.
Maybe by trying to ban two men from being checked into a room at the hotel — or other hotels with such policy — they are attempting avoid “the issue” of groups of heterosexual men booking a room for two together as part of trying to get around the “no single men” policy?
Maybe the alleged issue about “too much partying” is more about “too much fighting”?
Reminds me of the desk clerk at a property in Santiago, Chile, shouting at me and my (same sex) partner "dos persones, dos camas!!!!" My guy sat in the lobby facing the guy for an hour, never uncrossing his arms. We ended up with a 2-bedroom suite, the only room that allowed them to pretend we might not be sharing a bed LOL. Great view of the park. Mostly, most places, most of the time, the world has changed for the better. The exceptions make good stories
May be anti party. I've heard of this before but I was certain it was to avoid bringing prostitutes back to the hotel in that situation.
I guess that they are just really poor at communicating that they are a hotel for (non-Gay) couples.
This reminds me of certain nightclubs in Dubai when I lived there a decade ago. Unless you knew someone, or paid for a table with bottle service, men weren’t allowed inside without females. If you were with a group, you had to have at least an equal amount of females as men. I would often have to chat up females outside the club to walk inside with them. Though homosexuality was illegal there, females would be allowed in without men so I don’t believe that was the reason. My assumption is that management was trying to avoid having a sausage party as that might affect the image they wanted to portray and less to do with men partying harder than women. Seems like this type of policy isn’t uncommon in that part of the world. However, this was all 10 years ago so things may have changed. Conversely, when I went to a bachelor party in Vegas shortly after moving back to the US, I tried to bring a female friend of mine into a nightclub where we had a table for about 20 men for a bachelor party and she wasn’t allowed in because there wasn’t room at the table. Blew my friggin mind!
Wonder if they would be ok with start to see a la carte women providing check-in services at their lobby.
hehehe, as a cute spanish man (joke aside) I've been able to take male one night stands to 5 * hotels in IST always with success. Most of the times, any safety control done in the hotel is intended to verify the good intentions of the other guest, Professional looking or blonde Türks will be better welcome than a 6ft Kurdish hunk at 05:00 am on Saturday night ;-p
I think everyone in IST knows the flirt types of scams there are, involving fake policemen, severe violence and park muggings.
And never noticed full stay policies like this one, maybe home office minister directions or suggestions.....
Interestingly, I stayed twice at Lujo in the last year, and this never came up for me as a gay man sharing a room with my partner. Granted, we stayed in a villa both times, so not sure if that had any bearing. Or perhaps the rule is just aimed at Russian men, as they are the primary clients in most Turkish coastal towns and carry a certain reputation.
At the end of the day, these are businesses. Don't single men by far spend the most money?
What about businesspeople (businessmen?) trying to do business? Seems like a terrible way to turn down business $$ work-related cash. Or is Bodrum just a complete tourist town?
In Ghana, at least when I was there in 2014, there was a national law that two men cannot share the same hotel room. Definitely homophobia. I traveled with a Ghanaian friend who acted as my guide and often the rule is ignored, but one night we shared a large room and the next day they charged us for two rooms, pointing to the sign with the government law that two men can't share a room. We argued that they checked us in and even escorted both of us into the room together and didn't raise any objections at all, but they remained obstinate. My friend was angry but it was so little money it wasn't worth it. They clearly didn't care about the law's intent (or they wouldn't have checked us in to share a room together) but just used it as a way to fleece a white tourist (I'm ok with that, by the way, and it is the way many Africans see justice as a response to global inequality, which is hard to argue with). So while the law was created with homophobic motives, in my experience traveling with another man it was implemented or ignored in a way that did not reflect that homophobia (though I should add that I'm not gay and no one assumed I was, so if I were flamboyant I can't assume I would have had the same experience).
In fact the policy promotes quite the opposite. You're fine if you bring a [must be female] prostitute - they will let to check in. No prostitute with you - no check in.
So this place is a swingers resort. Nothing special.
I'm only surprised that Hilton's have these orgy hotels under their chain. Maybe it's something they put in the cookie?
I don't really buy their explanation about men tend to party too hard and so on. They also called themselves a family oriented resort when I talked to them. Yeah... you know just your average family oriented hotel with a pole and a tantrum sofa in a room.
It's a party hotel to begin with. It's their first message - come here to party nonstop. Somehow hotels in Mykonos, Ibiza, Magaluf and like 99% of the world can sustain a single male guest staying in a room, but not some Turkish resorts.
I'm pretty sure it's about homophobia. They want to have this policy in place to turn away people they wouldn't like. I'm also pretty sure it's not consistently enforced (can't believe DoubleTree wouldn't let to check in a father with a son into the same room).
Your last sentence better mean Polish people or you are just a sexist, who funny enough, likes a d....fest.
Twice the men means twice the party! ???? LOL not expecting that from a sexist?
The hotel is recording the guests with hidden cameras
They just don’t want to have single or men staying in their rooms.
A high probability that this is happening
The rest of the world hasn't succumbed to American offending/outrage culture yet. It's easy to destroy the life of a small business owner in Washington state because they dared to offend you, but try that with the entire Islamic world. Women and gay rights are basically non existent, and they don't care if you are offended. You will certainly be able to put pressure on the hotels in the major chains, but more likely they will just pay lip service to the chain, and keep doing what they are doing as an unwritten policy, no matter how offensive you find it. I don't understand why you would give money to countries that contradict your value system so much. If you continue to spend your travel dollars in such countries, you are implicitly supporting this culture.
What are these hotels going to do when two men and a woman checks into a room?
Hi Ben
I stayed at the DoubleTree by Hilton in Kemer this past October, and it was no problem at all booking the room for myself and checking in by myself as a single man. Maybe this is a new policy, or just a selective policy aimed at certain markets? I was warmly welcomed there by the concierge manager for being a platinum bonvoy member etc, and never felt out of place...
Is the reason they don’t allow two men to book a room together the same reason they don’t allow a single man to book a room for himself? They clearly don’t want single men there for whatever reason and two single men could easily circumvent that by booking a room together. I would say it was homophobia if it was just a policy against two men booking a room, but it’s not. It’s against men booking rooms by themselves in general.
I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what this is for. They don’t want single men in their hotel and don’t want single men getting around their policy by buddying up for a room either.
This is super common in nightclubs everywhere around the world. They want girls in their club, not guys. Exclusive clubs can and will turn away groups of guys if they don’t have girls with them. It’s kind of funny seeing so many people shocked at this like it’s something rare.
The more I think about it’s probably a rule meant to dissuade single Russian dudes in general (Russians are the biggest tourists to Bodrum).
This is a constant thing with nightclubs around the world. They want more women in their clubs to draw men who will then buy more drinks for the women. Never heard of it for a hotel.
Unfortunately this is very common.
In Dubai, most upscale restaurants will not allow single men, or 2 men. Let alone a group of men.
Especially if they serve alcohol.
It’s to keep the “ambience”. They’ll have women inside though ready for business. So if you looked wealthy and single, you’re an exception to the rule.
I flagged the issue with the Gov department and named the restaurant. They said they’ll take corrective action, called the restaurant again and oops same policy.
It’s disgusting. If it was the other way round, you’d see rebelled raging in anger and called it misogynistic. But hey as long as it serves the purpose.
These global hotel chains definitely know about the policy at some of their hotels. It’s more of, keep quiet and hope no one finds it or not enough attention is given.
The whole world is pushing for rights and equality but refuse to remove the whole idea of “bouncers”. Except now it’ escalated and it’s in hotels. What’s next? Flights?
Russians are in minority in Bodrum. The single biggest group of clients in Bodrum are Turks.
Russians make a significant part of clients in Antalya region (and even there it's about 20-30% depending on a year). Then it's not very common for Russians to go on holidays as a group of male friends or alone (it's a way more common when females go on vacation to Turkey without a man). So the wast majority of Russian tourists coming to Turkey are couples and families to begin with.
Ali, I'm not really sure if you're speaking facts in regards to restaurants. I was in Dubai solo and I had afternoon at Burj Khalifa at Atmosphere restaurant on 122nd floor and had no issues while having a bottle of champagne. Also, I was in one of the best upscale Japanese restaurants and again no issues drinking alcohol and eating there
Could be some truth to Ali’s point. Arabic (giving some exception to locals) or Indian looking males can face such difficulties in Dubai. More to do with maintaining image than anything else.
Turkish and LGBTQ activist girl here. Although I agree that it sounds very anti-gay, I almost guarantee the reason behind these rules has nothing to do with preventing gay men from staying at the hotels. It’s quite the opposite. They would love to accommodate men who do not harass women on a daily basis at every chance they get, as most single Turkish man do, especially when they stay at these hotels. Single men literally go there with the hopes that they will hook up with “Russian and or other foreign chicks” and don’t stop harassing girls until they get what they want. They’re quite aggressive too. It’s a huge issue in Turkey unfortunately. And most of the luxury hotels in Turkey have similar policies. In fact, most bars have the same rules too. They don’t accept single men into the bars unless they’re with a woman. This is simply to protect the other guests from the unsolicited harassment. I wish Turkey was more advanced that these kind of rules weren’t necessary, but I’m afraid to say as a woman who vacations regularly in these types of hotels, I appreciate these rules to have a safe, peaceful time during my stay. I do agree though, that it’s inevitably very anti-gay and hypocritical. I wish there was an easier solution to this problem.
Love,
Zeynep
Zeynep, thank you very much for bringing the perspective.
You certainly know a way more and have a first hand experience, especially from a female point of view. Still... Is that such a problem in high end resorts and hotels? I mean I've been to Turkey countless number of times - Istanbul, Izmir, Cesme, Kusadasi, Bodrum, Dalaman or Antalya. I can't say I witnessed widespread harassment of women by Turkish men. Can recall maybe some cases of "Natasha! Natasha!" in Antalya (on a public street, not in a hotel), but that the worst I've seen. I didn't get a feeling that it's common behaviour among beyaz türkler.
Dozens of resorts in the same area - Susona Bodrum, Bodrum Edition, Reges Cesme, Caresse Bodrum, DoubleTree Kusadasi, Mandarin Oriental Bodrum, Rixos Göcek, Maxx Royal - don't have such ridiculous policies and seems to be doing well, tranquil and quiet places. I'm not talking about Istanbul where all of upscale or belonging to any chain hotels don't have such policies. That makes me think these policies are unnecessary and in reality homophobic (and it looks like it depends on the views of owners of a particular property).
very easy
you order anything you want by the menu and they don't bring a bill, you just leave tips if you want (not must in Turkey).
It is all-inclusive... perhaps they can provide a female companion for single male travelers. 🙂 🙂 🙂
(Yes, that is a joke.)
I hope Hilton punts the other two properties from the system. Not allowing two men to stay together is obviously homophobic.
Isn't this considered gender discrimination? I can't believe they have such policies in this day and age targeting a gender and not allowing them to stay in their hotels.
I'm not sure that it's an anti-gay policy just based on what I saw at the DoubleTree Kemer. I stayed there last year and chatted with a gay male couple staying there, but they also had their kids in the same room.
So it's definitely a bizarre policy, but not necessarily anti-gay.
Is it still the case that Turkish Airlines does not serve alcohol on flight to Russia?
Interesting as DoubleTree is not a Marriott Hotel so jumping in before someone slates this comment and the hotel.
I stayed there last September with a female platonic friend, I’m gay. We met the owner and were extremely well looked after by his team. He himself lives in the Netherlands, which should say enough. Indeed his excellent Guest Relations Manager went out of her way to escort us to another hotel when we extended our stay when they were full, to ensure we we had a place for one last night. At no point did I hide my sexuality and can say the management team were excellent. If they have such a policy it will I suspect be because of boorish/frat like behaviour from certain types of men observed elsewhere. If that is the case, I for one am not suprised
It looks like its to prevent the jerks from hitting on women. Its not always meant to be anti this or anti that.
Hey,
I was referring to the Pointe, the palm. Restaurant is called “P**H***M House”
The “new” series of bar/restaurants with music all have the same silly rules.
Back to civilization, say Burj Khalifa area. That’s not an issue.
It goes in around the palm area, part of it could genuinely be the extreme partying.
The other is pure sexism.
Can confirm exactly what @Zeynep said. On the surface it looks like a blatant policy of mindless discrimination. But there is a good reason for it, and that's protecting female guests from really gross unwanted attention. It would be a shame if someone was 'offended' and 'flagged' it with the parent company and this policy was reversed. Because then a whole lot of innocent people will get sexually harassed. Be careful of what you wish for........
"Single men literally go there with the hopes that they will hook up with “Russian and or other foreign chicks” and don’t stop harassing girls until they get what they want."
I find it hard to believe that statement is the reason behind these rules, if any it's the opposite.
If what you say is true, Turkey is a prostitute heaven. And doesn't answer why 2 men cannot share a room.
If you think this is outrageous, you should see how the wildly-popular Turkish government treats reporters, dissidents, and Saudi-American journalists who walk into a Saudi consulate in Istanbul but leave in several small bags. The hotel's policy may have nothing explicitly to do with antigay bias, but the fact that we all have to wonder so openly is proof positive that Turkey's human rights record is abominable to the outside world.
Ben doesn't like to get political - which helps him sleep nicely when he visits repressively anti-gay places on mileage runs - but he really ought to have a higher bar for avoiding certain places on general principle. Would he visit Iran or North Korea if he were allowed to (and if he could get a good rate on Sofitel or Qatar Q-Suites)?
Exactly as Zeynep said:
"Single men literally go there with the hopes that they will hook up with “Russian and or other foreign chicks” and don’t stop harassing girls until they get what they want. They’re quite aggressive too. It’s a huge issue in Turkey unfortunately. And most of the luxury hotels in Turkey have similar policies."
Also why they don't want two buds in the same room so that the dudes don't get their hopes up of bringing the ladies back to the room
I suspect that, as a Platinum Bonvoy member, you won't be smashing up the place.
I agree with first comment, it’s to prevent “hunters”. Actually I think that in the Caribbean there are also resorts advertising « couples only »?
A tantra couch AND a pole, complete with hired 'dancer' if desired?
I hope both are hosed down/disinfected between clients.
Sure sounds like a classy joint!
There is no such law in Ghana.
There are laws against homosexual activity, but if you were charged double for a hotel room they made something up and cheated you. 🙂
Interesting as DoubleTree is not a Marriott Hotel so jumping in before someone slates this comment and the hotel.
I stayed there last September with a female platonic friend, I’m gay. We met the owner and were extremely well looked after by his team. He himself lives in the Netherlands, which should say enough. Indeed his excellent Guest Relations Manager went out of her way to escort us to another hotel when we extended our stay when they were full, to ensure we we had a place for one last night. At no point did I hide my sexuality and can say the management team were excellent. If they have such a policy it will I suspect be because of boorish/frat like behaviour from certain types of men observed elsewhere. If that is the case, I for one am not suprised
While I get that men can be predatory and gross, I think such rules don’t do anything to change that behaviour. It normalizes the idea that single men are predatory, or worse, suggests that such men are meant to be predatory in situations where they can get away with it. Such rules can also be used to victim-blame when things go wrong - “well, you shouldn't have left the resort then, you know men are gross!”.
How IS it a troll sort of question? Do women never cause issues? Seems like a fair question to me.
I’ve been fortunate enough to travel around the world and never have I been more disappointed anywhere than in Santiago, Chile. It was so high on my list and I was so excited to go. I’m sure other areas of Chile are beautiful, but Santiago is a homophobic metropolis and filled with crime and poverty. Skip it at all costs!
I would assume this is because they have had problems and complaints from other guests because of guys going gaga. This is neither anti-men nor anti-gay. I say this as a gay man myself.
A friend of mine has worked for a number of European tour operators. They received so many complaints from their guests about Russians behaving badly, so eventually they had to make sure the hotels they offered did not allow Russian tour groups. This was a particular problem in Turkey and Egypt. This does not mean all Russians behave badly, but they have a certain reputation, as do young men going on holiday to get wasted and party hard.
This is complete BS. If that's true, then why they allow single men to be at beach club bar, restaurant, pool and everything else BUT renting out a room?
I mean, if something smells fishy, tastes fishy, and looks fishy, it's probably fish.
The title of this article should be retracted. It is misleading and is a gross representation of cultural ignorance. As many comments have pointed out, the purpose of the hotel's policy is not "anit-man" or "anit-gay". It is "pro-woman" and seeks to maintain a harassment free environment.
Good point!
Lujo Hotel has recently became an official IGLTA member. Also it is one of few hotels in Turkey that clearly state that it is LGBTQ+ friendly hotel. Also you can see a rainbow flag, don't be surprised.
IGLTA Website: https://www.iglta.org/Member-Details/ListingContact/133507
Hotel Website: https://www.lujohotel.com/experiences/beaches/indigo-beach-club.php