I travel solo quite a bit, and I always struggle to decide what to do when it comes to dining in these situations, assuming I’m not meeting anyone for meals. So that brings me to a topic where I’m curious to get the thoughts of OMAAT readers…
Continue reading: When Traveling Alone, What’s Your Approach To Solo Dining?
Share your questions, experiences, and thoughts below.
Having been perpetually single until a few years ago and lover of the process of eating out I never let being single stop me from eating out.
The actual etiquette would differ but I would normally just sit on my phone for a good portion. I would read the news, article (maybe this blog) at fancier places but I never felt odd pulling gout some earphones at a more casual place.
Having also had to travel for work and doing solo travel for fun, ordering in would've been a great waste.
I travel all over the world a handful of times a year, almost always to cities. I eat out alone at any restaurant, even if it’s formal/fine dining. I’ll go one earbud and listen to a podcast so I’m looking around/not staring at a phone, but also no just “raw dogging” the meal. I’m more of an extrovert so will try to sit at the bar. Often you can’t reserve a take for one so you inevitably get the “just one” when checking in.
Been dining solo for work trips and personal trips for years now. I love dining out and I'll usually spend 40% of the time looking at my phone and 60% of the time enjoying the ambiance and food, engaging with the waiter. My personal take is that headphones/laptop would be offputting if not rude. You're in a social environment closing yourself off from being social in a very visible way that might detract from other's experience at the restaurant. The way I think about it is: if every person around me was doing what I'm doing, would I be bothered? A book might be fine if you're at a casual restaurant or cafe.
The only pitfall is that sometime the host is aggressive in pushing me to the bar setup which is usually a subpar experience. I generally prefer to dine slightly early at a proper (small) table and love people watching as well.
Have no issue with eating alone at any place. I would either read or watch something on the phone or just watch people. Never felt intimated by question about one person only. Restaurants are there, so I can eat, that's their purpose. I don't think about restaurant as a special place or for special occasions.
I order room service in hotels where it doesn't make sense to go out and eat or it's just more convenient.
I often travel and dine alone, most of the time when I look at other diners in groups I'm grateful to be alone 🙂
I like to eat in a restaurant with smaller tables where there is a good mix of single and non-single eaters, so I do not stand out. I do not seek conversation, though sometimes it happens naturally, because of curious locals. When eating alone I usually read something, but instead of a book I choose small leaflet, a newspaper article or a tourist brochure, anything of a smaller size. No electronics, phone use only for text messages. As a foodie, I enjoy the meal when it comes. More of an introvert.
As an introvert and primarily solo traveler over last decade plus, I love dining alone. Never had any qualms about it and have never run into any issues with it at bars/restaurants at all levels. For me, I prefer to take in the ambiance/people watch, and if I feel like being somewhat social, I'll sit at the bar and chat with the staff. I might check my phone every now and then, but I'm definitely not going to be buried in it the whole time. And for what it's worth, flying solo has helped me get into busier places quicker as a walk-in since often times I can just take the next table/seat that opens up rather than waiting for multiple seats/larger table. Also, I rarely dine at the hotel/eat in my room because I'd much rather explore the city I'm in, and with certain exceptions, hotel dining is underwhelming and overpriced.
I just eat at the bar or a table, whatever seems best for location. However, if in a city that I've been too many times and also near a Whole Foods (Looking at you Seattle and Baltimore), I just got the Salad/Hot bar at WF and bring it back to the room.
Ben, I gotta ask why when dining alone at a restaurant would you give a damn what people thought?
Like you, I travel alone the vast majority of time. Whether for work or pleasure I’m generally alone. When entering a restaurant with a host I immediately ask for a table for one before they can ask or assume otherwise. Sometimes they’ll say something like “Just you?” and I’ll often make a joke of it saying something like “I don’t know, perhaps I’ll get lucky and somebody will join me.” When at the table I primarily just look at my phone, reading something mindless like one Mile at a Time!. I’m sure some people stare, but I don’t give a damn. I’m there to eat a meal, nothing more, nothing less.
I love to solo dine, I have been doing so since I was a teenager. I bring a book (paper or eBook) and a notebook + pen. I usually read and people watch. If inspired, I write.
I don't usually sit at the bar, as I am short and bar stools are uncomfortably tall. If I am at a bar, I will sit at a table and people watch all the folks in between reading and writing.
I have written whole 15,000 word stories this way. There is a great pub in London that I can sit at for hours and write.
When I dine alone, I often go way back in to the archive of OMAAT (and LALF). Re-reading COVID era articles is kind of fascinating, as are reviews from airlines like TAAG and China Southern.
Honestly, there's no stigma to it. 1 person at a 2-top is no different than 3 people at a 4-top.
No wonder you love Japan so much.
I despise tables when solo, save breakfast. Hard preference for the bar, even if I’m not drinking or trying to make friends. Phones okay anywhere. Laptop nowhere nice unless it’s off hours. Book gives serial killer or nerd vibes for men, IMO.
As others have said, you get over it after a while especially if you travel alone often for business. Lots of options where it's not unusual like a cafe, diner, sushi counter, ramen shop, etc. Good opportunity to sample local street food as well.
There are massive advantages to dining alone.
If a restaurant is crowded i ask for the first available seat whether its at a bar or a table or even a couch its all acceptable to me.
Simple reason i like getting to the food and drinks part quickly. But when you are with a significant other or worse a group of people than you have to prebook or wait till eternity for table.
Also once i am done i can get up and walk away, after paying the bill. In company there is always a bottle of wine still left to be finished. Plus ladies i dunno what you do in the powder room but you take awfully, awfully long.
Another factor is, when i dine alone the bill is x dollars. And when i dine with someone else the bill is 4x dollars. I never understood the math here.
Topping it all, when alone, you get to order and consume all of what you wanted. No sharing of your fave appetizers or worse exchanging her salad for your amazing entree.
Plus i like to eat in peace. And there is no peace with another person telling you a long winded, boring story, when you have to pay attention as your food gets cold.
So i look forward to dining alone.
For two decades I traveled at least bi-monthly to international destinations at the behest of my masters. Some were regular destinations, staying in the same hotel for one or two nights.
When in a hotel or restaurant bar and you ask for “Taliban Champagne”, it is not only the bar tender who takes notice. Believe it or not, I am very sociable, therefore, I would impose myself upon some interesting group, couple or individual. Conversation and a laugh is almost always guaranteed. If I like the look of the company and consider that the conversation might be interesting, then I will initiate the dining suggestion.
I was never ‘on the pull’ as they say, just simply content to chat with interesting fellow travellers for a couple of hours. Trust me, being bold beats the hell out of staring at one’s iPhone, iPad or MacBook.
My attitude now is, "I don't care". When traveling, I'll likely never see these people ever again. Anyways, I want good food and nothing (reasonably) should keep me away.
If Im in an interesting place solo, then i’ll grab a table at a nice restaurant with outdoor space or a good view of an active area at least one of the nights. Shame not to at least once during a trip.
The phone can come out for limited use but I wouldn’t feel comfortable being on it the whole time in a decent restaurant. —Absolutely NO to ear buds or video. —
A book would be ideal hands down if I was reading one at the time of the trip.
I love eating at restaurants alone, traveling or at home. It's a relaxing break. I have no hesitation going to a 3 star Michelin restaurant by myself. I read my kindle when not focused on the food - I enjoy reading + it seems to be a good balance between entertaining myself and maintaining the ambiance.
I don't know why it is but I tend to agree it does feel a bit rude to sit and scroll on my phone while dining solo. Who it’s rude to, I have no clue!
Sushi bars, ramen bars, cafes, and other ‘high guest turnover’ (for lack of a better term) restaurants are great places to eat solo, even if you sit at a table. If one does sit at those bars I feel like it comes with none of the social expectation of sitting at a restaurant bar.
Whatever the type of restaurant, I bring my Kindle and read if I’m alone.
40m, widower, introvert.
Honestly, the widower part is important. Sometimes when im traveling, sitting alone at a table makes me feel especially lonely.
Domestically and in the UK/Ireland i prefer eating at the bar, if available.
Elsewhere I really prefer my big meal at lunch. It's often cheaper, it divides my day nicely, and I dont have to adjust to eating dinner at 8-10pm in Europe. I do oftwn play with my phone. For dinner I either just have beer at a cafe or grab a takeout kebab or local cheese/meat and wine/beer and eat at my hotel or Airbnb.
At most nicer restaurants, I feel very awkward and i feel like the phone is verboten, so I mostly skip those unless they have a lunch menu
It depends on the country. In Japan, I've been in restaurants where the vast majority of diners were solo. On the other hand, when dining solo in the Philippines, people might think you're the sole survivor of a terrible accident which killed all your friends and family.
I actually love traveling alone for business mainly because I can do whatever I want in my free time which includes eating out at great restaurants that are usually impossible to reserve a table. Many times I traveled with co-workers I had bad experiences because many don’t like to eat or get to know a different place. Sorry but if it is my first time in an exciting city and I am done with work I am going out and explore instead of sitting by the hotel pool. Also, if I am traveling alone, I usually look for top rated local restaurants and the strategy of sitting by the bar alone always work. It is literally impossible to book a table for two at these places but when you show up alone they almost always get you seated at the bar and I can enjoy amazing food by myself.
Originally, before I traveled much, I was most comfortable with room service. But traveling a lot for work got me very comfortable dining solo in restaurants. Any odd feelings are just in your head - nobody else notices or would care if they did. I do look at my phone or read a newspaper. I use a laptop only if I need to get some work done.
The number of losers who actually are responding with their opinions on this matter is staggering.
Simon Wilson always travels alone and doesn't seem to mind dining solo. I could learn from him as dining along makes me feel like I stick out like a sore thumb for some reason.
Never even crossed my mind in all the years I’ve been travelling solo, I don’t care what other people think.
I have no problem dining alone. Usually I will go to restaurants where I can make a reservation for 1 online, otherwise somewhere not too crowded. I won't go somewhere that only takes reservations for 2+, or makes solo diners sit at the bar, or does only communal tables.
Solo travel means I go where I want, when I want, therefore, I will eat what I want, when I want.
In Vienna, some of the schnitzel spots will ask the singles on the waitlist if they’d like to share a table with the next group. I’ll say yes to being a third wheel because the seating is large enough for separation, but I couldn’t be the fourth wheel because I don’t want a stranger sitting across for me. Brits are the best to sit with because they have the best table manners, and I don’t have to switch hands with my fork.
I like dining alone I can order what I want. I can order the wine I want. Do I want coffee do I want scotch yes OK I’ll have to ask other people at the table. Dining alone can be incredibly freeing.
I travel alone a fair bit. I enjoy eating on my own. I eat what I want, when I want. Sometimes I'll go out, other times I won't. That's the beauty of solo travel. I always take a book/kindle if I'm going for dinner.
My thoughts exactly and I was confused Ben even asked this question cos I consider myself also an introvert and don't give a damn what people think. In fact I enjoy dining alone
I keep reading about this every now and then over the last couple of years but it's really all in your heads. I've been travelling solo for a decade and never really had this problem. The world doesn't revolve around me, no body cares about me and why I'm there, and even if some of them are weird enough to do so, it doesn't affect me in any way. I walk into a restaurant, ask for a table for one, make sure to be nice to the staff, enjoy my meal, pay and I'm on my way. It's no rocket science.
…. 🙂 ….
Eskimo darlink, how did I know that the likes of you would bite at anything which I post. Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?
Bleeding “Plonker Rodney”, just because I only offer you the benefit of my satirical side, it doesn’t mean that there is not more to this old aviator than you could ever imagine. However, being intellectually challenged as you are, you will never discover my talents sunshine, or, live to appreciate them.
Ben will appreciate your click and the proletariat will thank you for the grin …. 🙂
As a frequent solo traveler I have no issue whatsoever about eating in a restaurant by myself. Often I'm seated at the bar, which I'm fine with. Sometimes I'll have my ereader with me -- if not, then I'm on my phone until my food arrives. If there's no internet connection and no wifi, then I'm forced to listen to the conversations of the tables in my vicinity (rarely happens thankfully).
I have no problems with dining alone, either at home or when traveling.
If there's a bar, I would opt for a bar stool, as it doesn't tie up a table that the restaurant could otherwise fill for a couple dining together, plus, it encourages some potential conversations with your adjacent bar stool diners (who knows who you'll meet!).
Regardless, I'll bring a paperback or small book to read in between servings to pass the time if seated alone.
I would NEVER bring a laptop to a restaurant at lunch or dinner time,..how this socially awkward phenomenon ever got started I'll never know, but admit that I am guilty of the occasional web surfing on my phone :-).
Having solo dinner at Cecconi’s at The Ned London City tonight.
Love it! Live music, people-watching 🙂
I intentionally choose not to look at my phone while dining solo at a sit down restaurant. I felt like it takes away from the moment, I much rather just focus on the food, the restaurant, the movements through the space. I think the kitchen / servers are also conscientious about this so they don't normally leave a long gap between courses. Sure, I definitely finish faster than any other table, but I haven't had a bad experience dining solo.
I've always found service to be just as good when I'm dining solo, and I think I'll keep doing so while traveling alone. I don't think I'd eat a full sit-down meal at a restaurant every night, but also I don't want to get takeout Uber Eats for an entire trip.
Generally agree with how you approach the solo situation. However, I would not, even with ear buds or head phones watch any entertainment. It is that entertaining, I would still laugh, etc. out loud and possibly disturb others. I might make an exception if something extremely newsworthy were happening or expected. Like you, I would rather people watch and maybe check my phone.
Dining alone is fine, although like Ben I had to get used to the idea. What I do depends on the situation, I do whatever feels good for me at that moment. What is crucial however is the position in the restaurant where I am seated. I will always choose a table where I have my back to a wall with a good view of what is going on. I do not want to be stuck in a corner facing nothing. As long as my table has a total view of the restaurant then I am fine with it.
It very much depends on how I’m feeling. I will almost always eat out when I’m solo traveling - too depressing to sit alone in a hotel room. What I do and where I go will depend on my mood. A lot of my recent solo business travel is either domestic in Australia or to Japan and Korea.
In Japan it really comes down to - do I have the energy to have an extended conversation with a stranger in Japanese. If yes then I’ll find a small place with a counter on tabelog or just by wandering around a see what happens. The other end of the spectrum I’ll be looking for a ticket machine or a chain place with iPads on the table. I feel slightly guilty about taking a table in a busy place, but in a quiet place I’ll take a table and read.
I prefer a paper book or magazine over anything digital if I’m going to read, personal preference and if space is tight. iPhone it is but I’ll try and read the kindle app or at least a newspaper app. I don’t see a problem with having the phone out I just don’t want to get sucked into work or social media or whatever.
One note - Australians are a bit weird about sitting at the counter, never really got to the bottom of why. It does mean you can often walk up to an otherwise booked out restaurant and get seated. My wife and I have eaten at some great places because of this. And indeed we still do now we have a kid because he absolutely loves to watch an open kitchen.
I HATE dining alone. It’s boring, there’s no-one to talk to and who do you discuss menu choices with? The waiter? #not your friend.
When I’m forced to travel alone, I usually phone my wife, my Mum or Tim Dunn while waiting for my entree. Watching other people - with their friends - eating is just creepy.
Exactly John, I will eat at a bar and grill place, sit at the counter. Or order food in the hotel bar. Problem saved.
Honestly, when I’m traveling alone it is less about others will perceive me and more about what I will enjoy. To be honest I usually wouldn’t pay $100+ on a meal when alone as the enjoyment of those comes from the company, so that’s more of a limiting factor for me.
I've been traveling alone for work or pleasure for nearly 30 years. And while some places don't really have a great solo vibe I find that just being confident crushes any perceived judgment.
Especially in a fine dining environment. Often I look around the room and see people in loveless relationships. Or on awkward dates. Or business meetings where half the table is stressing to impress. I don't envy them one bit, having experienced those situations as well.
Yes, a table for one. Corner table or back to the wall, I like to watch the room. Bottle of wine, one glass, no need to test it. Just pour it.
Kick back. Savor the meal. Drink my drink. Take my time. Knowing I might be the only person in the room fully immersed in the experience without distraction.
I'll do solo dining anywhere, anytime. Christmas, NYE, Valentine's day. Random Friday night or Tuesday morning. Why let your perception of how others may or may not perceive you impact how you choose to spend your time?
I personally rarely go to fancy expensive restaurants when travelling alone. I typically splurge on that when I'm looking for a good ambiance and a good time, and a lot of that comes from the company I have. When I'm alone, I personally don't really have the desire to do that.
When alone, I typically go to high turnover places or places that are used to seeing individual diners (for various reasons). I am also somewhat shy on the inside, but I have learned how to be extroverted in recent years, so I love meeting new people and have them accompany me to meals (much easier in your 20s though). I typically avoid sitting in my accomodations alone though, because I have the blessing to be in a new-to-me un-explored place, so I have to make the most of it!
I used to have the same thoughts in my head as Ben, but I have learned that you have to make the most of life. Do what you want, and enjoy every moment given to you! Make the most of your time, and don't worry about what others think. Most people don't care. Very few do, and so what?
(I have to add though that Paris is probably one place though where I was judged more than others).
I’ve found that dining in museum restaurants is the easiest way to handle the issue of being alone. There are usually others alone, the food is often good and well priced, and the atmosphere is great.
Don’t be a fool! Eat at the bar and overwhelmingly in my experience that will make for interesting “bar talk”. If it doesn’t you are no worse off and the bartenders are always around to chat if you like.
I work long hours and would much rather be at a restaurant bar working on my laptop than in a hotel room
Agreed. I rarely travel alone (for work or pleasure) but when I do, I usually order takeout/room service/etc or eat in a rental car. I get that it’s all in your head, but I just feel so awkward dining alone in a restaurant. And, I love Simon Wilson almost as much as I love OMAAT 🙂
As a Marriott titanium and a Hyatt globalist, I tend to book a hotel with a nice lounge and I will eat there…… and often I will find myself chatting with other guests, and I have made some lifelong friends from those meetings.
I am confused this is a topic at all.
As an introvert, I enjoy the time with myself, including eating a meal alone, at a fancy place or fast food outlets or anything in between. And I could care less what others think about; it has never even crossed my mind!
The only instance where this is a concern is at places in foreign countries that require multiple diners, such as K-BBQ in Korea. Many establishments would turn you away if you are a solo diner. My anxiety escalates thinking how to explain in Korean that I am willing to pay (and eat) for 2 pax.
I love dining alone. I'll usually just be scrolling or reading on my phone (not sure what the issue is with this) or bring a book, do some people watching if it's a fun place etc.
I hate dining alone, but I’ve pushed through it in the past so I can try iconic restaurants while I’m traveling. And I will keep doing it more using some of the advice by some of the readers here so
I can get more comfortable with it.
Never understood why people are uncomfortable dining out alone. I've been doing it since college and it's one of my great joys. Nothing better than a good book and a great meal! If you think the waitstaff is judging you, that's almost certainly all in your head. They might ask you if a bar seat is okay, but that's purely a practical consideration and not a judgement.
Some restaurants don't take reservations for one, which is irritating, but that's about the only downside. Just go and eat!
I’m an expert solo diner. I prefer bars if there is one but am an introvert and rarely will strike up conversation. I typically catch up on email on my phone or work on my laptop depending on the restaurant.
I think it's perfectly acceptable to scroll on the phone while dining alone. With the sound off, of course, and I would refrain from taking calls at the table. Not sure about using a laptop. In a cafe, maybe, but not in a restaurant.
Agree about books.
But
a) the younger generation doesn't know paper books (although Kindle is a good substitute)
b) many restaurants nowadays have lighting too low to read off paper (so Kindle to the resuce)
Ugh... Communal tables. I despise them, and thankfully that ghastly trend is almost extinct.
I’ve only sat at the bar once, and chatted with the bartender. I don’t mind eating alone, and often bring a book…no phone or other device.
My frustration used to be that the number of wineries and restuarants often decent half bottles kept declining.
But now I just order a whole bottle, even if I don't drink it all.
Restaurants with good, rather than mediocre, wines by the glass, work particularly well.
Dining solo is my time to relax. I bring a copy of New York Times International and enjoy the meal.
I'm not one for liberal concepts like "microaggressions" or "heteronormativity" (despite being gay), etc.... however, when just about every restaurant host automatically says "JUST one?", I feel very microaggressed that the normal thing to do is to dine as a couple, which therefore makes me abnormal. I realize 99% of this is all in my head, and am old and crotchety enough that I don't give a f*** if someone assumes I'm straight or that I have a wife etc., it still drives me bonkers when the expectation is of a couple and I'm there on my own.
I’m an extrovert but I’m not necessarily eager to dine solo and meet people. If I’m in a city with a strong food presence, I’ll go to buzzy restaurants and either make a reservation for 1 or sit at the bar. I’ll take to the staff and linger on my phone a bit with the premise that I’m here to enjoy a high quality meal. Dining solo and feeling comfortable doing so took time but now I love it because I focus on the food (like a food critic) and experience. The other patrons are irrelevant to me.
Dining alone is fine, but there is nothing sadder than a lone low level 'businessman' at a bar at a mid range chain hotel.
I was thinking about this - I don’t know why I feel like I’m being rude sitting there alone scrolling my phone. I’m not ignoring anyone, and I wouldn’t be caught DEAD watching a video with my volume on, it just “feels” different. Why?! Have Kindle will travel.
I've been traveling solo since before cellphones. So I'm used to just sitting there and observing. I do that often anyway where I look at people and congee up with my own origin story about them.
But what I generally do is I swap lunch and dinner. Bigger meals for lunch and the nicer restaurants. I don't feel awkward in the restaurant but I do know a table for 1 is less profitable for the restaurant and server. But luck is usually less busy so they are less likely to care.
I wouldn't eat in a restaurant every night just for budget reasons and I do a lot of take aways instead of dine in. But mostly in taking in the restaurant. It's an opportunity to get a very good feel of the place whereas with someone else you may spend more time talking and not even see the restaurant.
When I’m alone I eat, not dine. One of my go to tricks is to find a supermarket nearby that has a good prepared meals section.
Ben, you have a good self awareness.
But you overthink it. As long as you’re not rude, all is fine.
I think you don’t enjoy dining in silence without any diversion (to read or listen to) or you wouldn’t call it “raw dog” ( not your term, but I don’t think you’d use it if you were happy).
I enjoy solo fining. I enjoy companionship too, but as my wife prefers lunch and would then skip a dinner out), I’m do often.
I do all f the above, whatever suits my mood. There is no “should”; that’s the overthinking.
I will often read on my phone.
And I will frequently (about 25% of GBR time) converse with the next table if we are all in the mood.
I start with “excuse me, trying to decide what to order- what did you really like”. Or, since I love wine but don’t drink a bottle - “excuse me, I have more wine than I can drink, may I offer you a glass).
Half the time that interchange ends there. And some of the time it continues. And occasionally, I make a new friend!
Don’t worry about should. You are the customer, and you are always right! Do what is most pleasing in the moment for your mood.
I usually bring my Kindle and read although I have had some interesting conversations with interesting people when I’ve chosen to sit at the bar.
she spent the entire meal taking pictures of herself (like hundreds)....
probably she is doing it for work purpose (you know in Asia)
I should add I never sit at the bar as a regular chair is much more comfortable.
I dine alone maybe 90% of the time. I always grab a seat at the bar so I am not taking up a whole table.
I have weird rules when traveling for business. I won’t sit at restaurant or hotel bar, I want a table or booth like everyone else. With the new AirPods Pro 3, I’m a big fan of the conversational awareness feature as I can listen to podcasts but still not miss anything the server is saying.
To add another travel-related story to the mix, I was a Dining Car Steward for Amtrak for a decade of my time working there. With space limitations we practiced community seating so all day long it was a game of me playing matchmaker. It was often the people that were most reluctant to dine with others that I had to ask to leave at the end of the night because they were enjoying conversing with their new friends so much.
One particularly memorable moment took place on the Empire Builder - had a middle-aged couple who really did not want to sit with others (an older couple was already seated) but relented because they could see it was a full house. When I came back to collect for their wine, they were laughing and talking like old friends. Turns out the older woman was the younger gentleman’s third grade teacher. 🙂
I have been traveling and dining alone since the late 1970’s when I had several states in my sales territory. I always had a book with me when I went to a restaurant. And these days, as a senior solo female, I am still dining alone when I travel internationally. I’ve been doing this for the last 45 years or so. Now I am usually editing photos on my phone in restaurants. It gives me a chance to catch up!
I couldn’t miss your name because it is just below what I just posted. I learned about the Timtam cookies last week and purchased their dark chocolate peppermint cookies. In case you haven’t tried them, they are good! LOL
When I’m traveling for leisure and by myself, I’ll go out to restaurants but on the early side. Sometimes a table, sometimes the bar area. I don’t like stuffy places so it’s usually very easy. I don’t mind looking at my phone but I also like to watch the place and be mindful that I’m traveling and how wonderful is that. Would never listen to or watch something but don’t judge others. Should note as a female traveler there’s an added digestion, hence eating out on earlier side and not being out late.
I'm an introvert and I don't think I've ever eaten a meal sitting at the bar. Except maybe in Japan where they are set up for single diners as a norm.
Is it an American thing to feel you have to sit at the bar when you're alone because your server will get less tips for a solo table? It's never crossed my mind that might be an issue.
Having said that, I normally eat my main meal at lunch when travelling when it's more usual to see single diners and just have a small evening meal in a cafe or something to take away.
Been doing solo travel and dining alone for the better part of 25 years, for business and pleasure, all across the world - honestly dining solo is one of the best ways to really connect with wherever you are. You get to focus on the food, the vibe, the everyday residents and visitors going about their business around you. I can't say I've ever had an issue getting a table for one, nor have I ever felt treated differently when dining alone, other than occasionally being asked if I'll accept a seat at the bar if the place is crowded. 90%+ of the time, I just get left alone to eat and read in peace (I really don't think you're judged by other patrons or the waitstaff as you might perceive that you are). The few times someone does try to chat, it's usually just curiosity about where I'm visiting from, they pass along a couple of tips for things to see while I'm visiting, and then go on their way.
Try a “Tim Tam slam”. There are instructional videos on YouTube. It’s a taste sensation.
I literally couldn't give a crap what people might think or perceive. I absolutely LOVE going out to eat alone, and sit there in peace, just focusing on the dining experience, with the occasional look on my phone. You do you Ben! Whatever makes you feel best.
It's never crossed my mind, but I also enjoy e.g. ramen bars, where this is generally a non-issue.
But hey - thanks for making me think about it so I can feel self-conscious in the future! :-p
If it makes you feel better. On arrival say that theres one of you atm but hopefully my friend will be able to join me if he can get away from his wife.
I often travel solo for work and I’m a real foodie who enjoys to go to nice restaurants. Over the years, I’ve learned not to be shy about this: just book a table and go on your own. I always take a book with me so I can read while I’m waiting for my food.
I try to make lunch my main meal of the day when I’m travelling alone. I feel less self-conscious about being a solo-diner.
I tend to get dinner at the bar somewhere or go somewhere casual for dinner.
When I, a woman, must dine alone, I choose excellent restaurants. I make a reservation at the opening of service so I can choose a table in a corner with a great view of the whole room. Then I dine and people watch unobtrusively with occasional forays into my phone.
What I don’t like is being seated right next to a couple in restaurants with dense seating. Also from the couples perspective that’s awkward. Otherwise not a problem at all.
Absolutely Greenwald, however, I am sure that Ben will thank you for your click regardless …. 🙂
Yes, I do get the picture Anna, one sees that situation depicted often enough on U.S. television and in films. Eskimo, that low level businessman type characters come to mind, sad, sleazy and extremely mid range …. 🙂
Apologies for high jacking your post simply to poke fun at my ‘very good friend’ and sparring partner Eskimo.
Over half of my visits to Michelin starred places have been solo, I have no problem whatsoever dining alone at this point, despite also being pretty introverted. The best places have engaging staff who like to discuss the food and what they enjoy and I think they also appreciate the intense focus you can have on the food when eating alone. I enjoy those interactions despite the introversion, though they are always easiest in English- or German-speaking countries for me. I also book in advance, which is essential anyway for a lot of those restaurants, and enjoy the research beforehand - that negates any temptation to stay back and eat in the hotel, for me at least.
I’m in china right now and went to a Sushiro for lunch today. The Japanese really know how to make solo dining easy.
Exactly. There's nothing unusual about eating alone, people have been doing that forever.
How do you define a mid level business man? Just need to know if I am a sad sight.....
I tend to prefer mid range hotels for business travel, no need to pay for upscale as I don't have time to use or appreciate it. Why pay for Mandarin Oriental or Ritz-Carlton if you only have breakfast, a quick bite in the evening and then sleep?
I travel a decent amount. Some years I have hit 200+ nights away from home, but have reined it in more recently. That leads to a lot of solo dining. I have sat at the bar at Four Points in the US, I have been to Michelin stared places, trendy hot spots, and recommended places that had survived their prime. I try to find places that looks to be worth a visit if I have time, on short or very busy trips, it is often just the hotel outlets or anything simple near by.
One thing I never do, is room service. With caveat of having a suite with a separate dining room. It is just tacky to sit in a standard room with the food, sit with a tray on the lap on hh edge of the bed? No thank you.
I rarely use room service but when I do, I just use the desk? It's usually quite comfy for eating, not very different from restaurant. Eating in the bed would be disgusting.
I'm a millennial who recently dated a Gen-Z and I can assure you that we know paper books and the guy actually had one of the finest, most inspirational collections I ever saw. I'm still going through the list of books I found there and want to read myself.
Have you noticed how unpopular desks are among hotel room interior decorators these days?
It is still in the bedroom though. So no thank you. 🙂
What? Is that even an issue? You’re hungry and you find a restaurant that serves the kind of food you feel like and you go in and eat.
I hardly even understand the conflict. Half the couples around you hardly communicate anyway.
Honestly my only minor issue is that a bottle of wine, at my advanced age, is a bit too much for one, so I have to go for the limited list of by-the-glass wines, but otherwise, I just sit and eat.
If I have my kindle with me (not that frequent) I’d do some reading, but otherwise I just enjoy my wine and my food and watching the people at my destination: both other diners and the staff. I never ever, not even once, think whether I should or I shouldn’t, and unless I have absolutely no other choices, I will never do room service. Nothing feels sadder than sitting awkwardly in a bedroom having ordinary, yet overpriced food.
If they actually rudely say JUST one, I respond with "Yes, I’m finally having dinner with someone I actually like. And I am sure you're going to make it special"
Coravin has been a great innovation in this regard. More places willing to take a risk on something goods, interesting or a little bit out there by the glass.
Generally try to eat at the bar when available. I find it to be more relaxed, especially at busy restaurants where there is pressure to turn a table.
Someone who is down on the corporate chain, a consultant, a sales person.
Usually wearing a polo shirt, maybe khaki pants or jeans.
Someone who thinks the bartender actually cares about their story how the 3rd quarter was good for sales.
Mary, you are a joy to behold on this rainy RSA day. I love your response, you could share our table anytime. I am sure that we would all enjoy an evening of mirth together.
Another marvellous description of the ‘lounge lizard’ type. Thank you Anna, for brightening a disappointing day.
One has to agree polo shirts and jeans are so last century …. 🙂
I just get a table and while I'm eating stream content. I have no idea who is around me and what they're doing. Often I'm catching up on my Spirit and Frontier meltdown videos. Or if there's a grocery store nearby and I have a fridge and microwave in the room I simply go out and buy food. Cheaper and healthier.
I try to book hotels that I know have a CL/EL that will have enough food to quality for dinner...
“Just a table for one?
Every single time a Maitre'D. says that, I respond:
Its not JUST one, it is a table for one.
If they engage, I let them know how that phrase comes across. It's especially annoying when you are in a transit/travel intensive place, where single travelers are commonplace.....it's not like we don't have friends, they are just not on this trip with me....
It's just plain rude when they say "Just One". and they should be trained to greet everyone the same way... PS-I don't want to be seated up high, at the bar, next to the bathroom, or next to the kitchen.
Never thought about this before, I just go and sit at the bar alone. As I can't stand talking to people I never really do, and I just browse my phone when there's no food in front of me or just enjoy my drink depending on the environment.
Unless it's a one-night, positioning stay, I'm in a hotel for no less than 3 weeks, and it is a serviced apartment. For obvious reasons (both tedium and healthy eating), having all meals in a restaurant for that long isn't desirable. My pattern is pretty consistent. I have lunch at a restaurant, and I prepare my dinner (which is also my home routine). Since I don't do breakfast, I hit restaurants as soon as they open for lunch. Thus, it is rarely busy. And, the restaurants love it, as they turn a table before the place gets busy. I never feel out of place eating alone.
Its a good reason not to eat or to spend minimally, save money and maybe not gaining pounds, given that the chances to fill myself at the next meal with friends in a plane or a lounge are always there
Worked in fine dining for a hot minute in another life.
1. Raw dogging is fine.
2. Limited smartphone use is acceptable.
3. Headphones no, earbuds yes, as long as it doesn't become a significant impediment to communication with the waitstaff.
4. A book is fine, no decent member of staff will give you a hard time about that. 5. Laptops are totally acceptable at breakfast, context-acceptable at lunch, never at dinner.
FoH team members biased against solo diners tend to suspect that solo diners may be too needy or morose (the specter of reduced revenue is a present though somewhat negligible factor from a server standpoint). If you are neither, politely occupy yourself yet are communicative, you should be able to overcome those biases.
I do not worry about eating alone. If possible in the restaurant of a hotel. I think now you see more people eating alone as earlier.
Most of time I book for a 'later' hour, not at the first beginning, f. ex. not 6 pm, but 8 pm (I like eating rather late).
What I am doing? Once I prepared a speech for the 60th birthday of one of my sisters; sometimes I take a book with me: with short chapters/text i can reflect on, and looking to what happens around me... that's nice: observing people...
My experiences of eating alone in a better restaurant are good to very good. They take care of you, of me.
I love having a good upscale or "smart" magazine which is better than being on the phone and less to lug around compared to a book. I have eaten hundreds and hundreds of meals solo with a good copy of the Economist. Some of my best meals ever actually...
Wow. I never realized people have such psychological issues.
Dining solo has never bothered me. it's my money and I am oblivious to and don't care how anyone feels. I may check my phone if I am texting with my sister or brother, or I may people watch. I do not find it awkward or experience any discomfort.
Some of you really need to stop living your lives based on what others may or may not think of you.
No approach, sit down and eat and don’t care what others think.
People assume others give any shit about themselves. They don’t fucking care also.
I always felt the "just one" question was to ensure you weren't the scout for a party of six, or early for your blind date.
However if I'm going to a restaurant that's crowded, I will say "table for one, if that's okay..." realizing this arguably can have a revenue impact.
I am also an introvert and enjoy catching up on all the stuff on my phone (articles, tabs, emails) but do like to partake in people watching or just sit back and enjoy the experience if it's interesting. Normal places will find me glued to my phone. Interesting or especially nice places will capture my attention and I'll find I enjoy the meal a lot more when I'm present.
You don’t have to talk to people just because you’re sitting at the bar. I’m an introvert and that’s my go to. Assuming a nicer restaurant:
Phone use is more acceptable at the bar (if you’re on your phone most folks wont try to talk to you)
Usually a TV or live music
Take up less space. Better people watching. Bartenders are used to solo diners and will chat if you want. But also perfectly happy to leave you alone. If you prefer the latter, at the bar it’s not rude to ignore them other than to flag them down when you need something.
As an introvert who also solo travels pretty much exclusively these days, this thought has never crossed my mind... I will buy grocery store meals to eat in my Airbnb/hotel when it's convenient for my schedule or wallet, but I'll eat in regular restaurants 90% of the time. I don't find sitting at a bar to have an unspoken obligation to interact with the people next to you, and in fact, it's nice to be able to slip in to a bar when the entire restaurant is full, but they do have a single seat available! I'll either read (a physical book or on my Kindle) or use my phone and have paid zero attention to the optics of either of those options. And, of course, the phone eats first 🙂
Wow Ben, you put way too much thought into what other people think! Believe it or not, they don’t care!! I travel extensively on business all over the world, and have never once given any thought to dining out alone as it’s out of necessity and the thought of eating room service alone in my room and missing out on what a foreign city has to offer, makes me sad!
I rarely wear a polo but it could happen. Black jeans are a part of my "uniform". But I would never discuss the matters of the company with a bartender. So I am what, 1/4 sad? I am neither a consultant nor in sales. So may only 1/5?
🙂
Food is my 2nd favorite thing after travel. I hate sitting at bars because there is pressure to be social. I'm at a food establishment for the food, not anything else.
I assume the reason restaurants dislike solo diners is that they make less money from 1 person than multiple people occupying the same amount of space.
I use to try to get a bar seat when dining alone. Then I realized I probably spend more than most couples anyways so I’d rather have the extra comfort and space of a table. Nobody really cares if you are alone. Another problem I’ve found with bar seating is if you’re alone another patron might want to talk to you. Service can also be lacking at the bar. Not uncommon to have one guy back there making all the drinks, taking all the orders for bar patrons, cleaning up the bar, etc.
As someone else said before, the same can be said about a party of three occupying a table for four. And besides, it only applies if the restaurant is packed, which is not that common. And even then it depends on the consumption. I'm a "eat once a day" kind of person and a latent alcoholic so I can easily spend more money than a couple that only orders a main and water.
That being said, I never experienced restaurant making me feel like they dislike me for being solo. If they do, they're very decent about it 😀
Interesting topic coming from someone that needs to eat out for reviews. Agree with the comments about not caring what people think.
I almost always get a table for 1, unless it's very busy then I'll either sit at the bar or I'll find a less busy spot. I either read via my phone or, most of the time, I listen to a podcast while waiting/eating. Never felt weird for doing it. I use earbuds though, rather than over the head clunk headphones. I likely would feel weird if I wore those.
As you have just done.
Bloggers as Ben appreciate all the clicks and comments.
I'd never heard "raw dog" used in a, um, "non-intimate" context, so I looked it up. Well played, Gen Z. And thanks to this blog, I feel ever-so-slightly-more current.
Good article. I actually quite enjoy dining alone. It can be sort of a meditative experience.
I think the only exception for me is the type of restaurant that is specifically designed for groups of people. Everything else, I have absolutely no problem with, and would definitely enjoy it. It's also an opportunity to space out and actually not having to be "social". I don't need to talk to people all the time.
The one thing I'm trying to avoid at all cost is in-room dining, for many reasons. Btw, a thought here, I live in Asia, and I feel like Asian cities (especially Japan) cater way better to solo diners, because it's an integral part of many people's lifestyle.
Almost always at the bar for me, keeping a little spacing from folks to avoid excessive random conversations (as an introvert I'd rather talk to the bar staff, tbh, to get my social fix). If it's not too busy, I'll do a solo table if required (tho in the lounge is better). But on a busy Friday at a place pull of couples of date nights?? I'll go somewhere else...
I get it. Although reading your post I knew that there would be a lot of comments saying “I don’t care what people think”. I doubt that’s 100% true in most cases. EVERYONE cares what other people think. If they didn’t, who would get out of their PJ’s or brush their teeth or comb their hair???
In my experience, restaurant staff often seem to be biased against solo patrons. The service given seems lukewarm at best. What can you do. I find myself eating at pubs and more casual restaurants, and before the dinner rush just to limit the insult.