OMAAT reader Ivan shared a bizarre experience with me, whereby he was sexually assaulted in a domestic Turkish Airlines lounge by a security guard… with multiple interactions! He asks for my take on this, and I find this to be so shocking that I’m not even sure what to think.
Continue reading: Man Sexually Assaulted By Security Guard In Turkish Airlines Lounge
Share your questions, experiences, and thoughts below.
Oh no! @TrumpGambit, everything alright in Turkey? (You know, since you’re based there, and this actually has to do with the place you’re based, not US politics.)
Side note, I’ve actually been to Kayseri airport to get to Cappadocia. Didn’t get assaulted.
Horrendous behaviour. I hope this predator faces action and Ivan gets some closure over this traumatic experience.
The one advantage of the overcrowded Turkish lounge in Istanbul is, you could not sexually assault anyone. There's barely any room to move.
Maybe he detected a security threat?
But in all seriousness, if this is the norm in Turkey they might want to think about charging extra. George Michael would have paid good money for this.
What the security guy did was obviously wrong. But I also question why, having seen the creep outside the bathroom he didnt use the lockable stall!? Why go to a urinal?
Not victim blaming, everyone should be able to pee in peace, but in an already shaded situation I would take extra steps to protect myself?
I don’t know how long you have been following OMAAT but it’s clearly not just about that. It has ALWAYS included travel experiences and stories that Lucky feels like writing about, and also interesting to include readers stories. Anyways, as we always say in these cases, feel welcome to go to other points websites or ask ChatGPT about other alternatives or just use your freedom to skip this story.
Probably a couple reasons. He was already trying to rationalize the first scene as accidents so he didn't really think anything further would happen and didn't think any other escalations would happen.
Also, compared to most women, guys don't have as much of a spidey-sense trigger with regard to SA because stats show it happens to them less often in general so it's not an everyday situation that they're prepared for.
Of course, looking back with 20/20, there are things that he could have done differently but in a stressful situation and in moment, especially in a foreign country with the power dynamics, people just freeze or maybe he just wanted to ignore it and hope for the best that nothing would happen.
I agree it's horrendous behaviour.
But I suggest it's best not to get traumatised and then de-traumatise onself.
Just celebrate the fact that nothing really bad happened, and that most women suffer similar things repeatedly.
Aaron is one of those 'no politics, we want the jobs the comet will bring' people (Don't Look Up, 2020); or, perhaps, he's just inserting 'plausible deniability' to cuck for Erdogan.
I think plenty of women will tell you that plenty of groping happens in very crowded train carriages.
If it happened as described shame on the guy and well handled by the traveller even if it certainly left an akward feeling.
What rubs me the wrong way here is as much I agree that Turkey is not a place to cross authorities do you think the USA is?
TrumpMaggot won't admit that Turkey has one of the biggest populations of closet cases outside of Alabama. Turkish cities are always listed as "pleasant surprises" in gay travel guides.
Yeah this story is about as believable as an African American named Ivan. Ben, did you attempt to validate any of these claims or is someone randomly emailing you an accusation of sexual assault all it takes to get a story written about it.
That being said, if this did indeed occur the accuser should have reported it to the authorities immediately…..not sure why anyone would have a problem doing so. There are cameras at the lounge and airport even in a 3rd world country like Türkiye.
Speaking only for myself, if I was worried or suspicious the last thing I’d do is make myself ‘more alone’ by going into a stall.
I was thinking that with an Orientalesque name, he's got a Teeny Weeny Peeny Complex and is uncomfortable about stories that remind him of his shortcomings.
Ivan Dixon, who played Kinchloe on Hogan's Heroes? Black man named Ivan. Checkmate.
Not pleasant sure, but when did men stop being men? You can certainly protect your own d*** if nothing else as a man!
I'm by no means violent, but this would be a fight or flight moment for most men protecting to so to say 'crown jewels'.
If Ivan had been a little more forceful during the first encounter, I suspect the guard would not have seen him as an easy touch the second time. Maybe.
Blame the victim!
He is in a foreign country that is hostile to same-sex encounters and the guy was in security. Whole situation is shitty.
@Andrew. I’m not blaming the victim. Like K4 below me, I suggest saying No might have changed the outcome, without him also being locked up.
To be honest, if the security guy was good looking, that could have been a better benefit at the lounge vs the Mastercard guac offered in the Admiral's Club. Woof!
.... it's Turkey . . . get all over it, it could happen anywhere, but even guys in the country are all in need of some "connections".
If at the airport, hotels, cruise ships, beaches, gyms or even in taxis . . . it happens everywhere!
Come on to most of the hypocrite people here . . . even at NY gyms from personal trainers or Spas all over the city.
So relax and take it cool, just stay human!
Refuse if you think, things go too far.
Just don't judge if it has never happened to you!
Yes, it's no good . . . but hey, that circumcised guy was in personal need it sounds like, we all did NOT see the looks, interactions or what was causing that man to get up?
So relax!
Did any of the gentlemen here NEVER get a very direct offer from a Thai lady at a bar or any offer at an Egyptian beach resort from an employee (they are 99% male, just to be clear) or at Hooters to stay close to the US.
Go to ANY Gym in NYC or even Las Vegas Spas . . . we all know it, so relax!
Welcome to the world women live in, where these gross "interactions" occur frequiently. No, nothing can be done about it, usually. The fact that Ivan still came back into that guard's space and then entered that bathroom demonstrates how blissfully clueless most men are about the stuff that women live with every day. And then he dumped it all on his wife, simply expecting her to support him without judgement, and expecting her to believe his story and provide comfort and advise rather than violence and/or disbelief. From his ignorance, obviously SHE does not have the same trust in him.
@TrumpGambit, report what? That "I felt a hand or something brush against the front of my pants, and I backed up"? That the agent "puts his chin on the half wall and looks at me, down there"? The authorities would have just looked at Ivan incredulously. When I read the headline I thought the security guard had done something horrific like with his baton or something. Ivan needs a pair of cojones, you have to be forceful and say "stop that" or "what are you doing?" with a stern look. It's not like he was in the middle of nowhere. Plus, it seems Ivan himself acknowledges he was giving the wrong vibes "In hindsight, the security agent was probably wondering what was going on since he was so into what I was doing." And to make matters worse, why send this bizarre incident to a blog?
I was a Cub Scout at a Catholic Church and I was never molested. I must be a piece of s**t
If you want to pick up your readers question and turn it into a post, please find better ones, like highly related to the actual travel and some useful information etc. I am just a little worried about the decline in quality these days. I understand you were busy etc but posting something so negligible just to keep posting is a bit sad...
This can happen anywhere in the world. BUT your attitude can deter the approacher. The way you stand and walk is clear sign to the surrounding. But lounges in Turkey and especially the ones of the Turkish Airlines have cameras recording every spot and corner of the lounge. Wc entrance has at least one camera. So if you report an incident , they will look at the cameras right away.they will decide on spot. That much they have strong police presence and even some airports have a district attorney sitting there while the airport is open. That guard would be sent to jail in seconds.If ivan noticed the 1 st interaction he should not have walked back near that security if he does not want to confront him. So the story has bit of twist…recording is saved for more than a month..
What a vile comment. How completely ignorant and offensive you are.
Many men are assaulted, and more than you may believe, however rarely ever report it because of the stigma.
Of course you would expect support from your partner. Wouldn’t like to come to you for help.
Waiting for “OMAAT reader Ivan” to show up in the comments to defend himself against his detractors…
@Icarus, what makes you think that the bitter misandrist would have a male partner?
Sorry Ivan, you got aggressively cruised. Welcome to Turkey. All you had to do was say "NO!" in a loud voice, and he would have been out of there.
Ivan must have glanced at the guard on his way to the restroom - possibly signaling to meet in the restroom. Who knows, but be glad another man finds you attractive, while you are young. There will come a point in time - where no one does.
Reminds me of an old joke:
How do they separate the men from the boys in Turkey?
With a crowbar.
This type of thing used to happen in the US when being gay or bi was socially unacceptable. It happened with a lot of frequency in many places. Turkey being Turkey makes it not a shock. At then end of the day, no one was sexually assaulted and that is all that matters.
"Victim blaming" has become another meaningless catchcry. Did you make a bad decision by walking home through the dark park at 2 am while you were drunk, thus inviting any crim who's lurking about to take advantage of the situation? Well you don't have take any responsibility for putting yourself in harm's way, because that's immediately decried as "victim blaming". Yes, in a Utopia world we would all be guaranteed the safety to do whatever we want, but the world is not like that. Be assertive, stand up for yourself. Saying "NO!" in a loud, authoritative voice would have put this creep right off from the word go.
Better be a 'flight' response (no pun intended) ... In an increasingly non-secular foreign country, like Türkiye, you're treading on thin ice with the 'fight' response, maybe even worse as an American these days... Or months/years later we'll be seeing another interpretation of the 1978 flick "Midnight Express " ...
... Just an editorial hint to substitute another verb for 'rub' in this context ! ... lol
Indeed... is it India that has all female compartments ? ... Don't know how trans people would fare ( is there a genital inspection ? )
Ah... " Chin UP " (pun intended), 1990 ... There's a Turkish 'security' guard somewhere there lurking just for you !
... lol
Maybe he didn't have enuf 'bakshee$$$h" on his person to obtain Turkish 'justice' ... The 'justice system' in this country is problematic enough ... I wouldn't want to experience some non-Western countries' systems unless I absolutely had to ...
Of the 1000s of encounters that may or may not happen, to take up this much space..... While unacceptable, it's not like there is a systemic gang rape situation going on at some lounge, going on, without intervention. A chance encounter with some creepy guy.
I doubt that any living person, has not had a come on (same sex or opposite sex) in their lives....... some more subtle than others....what a waste of reader space, total hysteria
This is awful. Thank God the stranger came in the bathroom when he did. I can see how most men wouldn't take the first interaction seriously since they are not used to this happening. Unfortunately most women have had to deal with this their entire life (and not just from men) so most of us are hyperaware of it and how it could escalate.
Spot on, bossa. Fighting might protect your pride for five minutes, but it won't protect you from a multi-year stay in a foreign prison. Real life isn't an action movie, and 'Midnight Express' is definitely not a documentary anyone wants to recreate just to prove a point."
Ben has given up. He has no real job and this site is going to hell. It's literally weird rage baiting junk most of the time now
I see him spiraling out of this like Donny T is out of his job
Sorry for your gastly experience ,but Turkey is rife with this .
I think you did the right thing by not raising an issue. If the security guard became irritated and thought he was going to be detained , he could invent all sorts of lies to implicate you in something and as a Turkish security guard in an airport , authorities would probably believe him first . And it may delay your boarding with the family .
He would make up lots of lies and stories so not to lose his well paid job .
He probably makes sure that the security cameras cannot detect his touching ,so there maybe no evidence . As another person here said , just say NO THANK YOU
This story doesn't sound credible. I doubt any employee in a semi-public setting would risk his job, or worse, by behaving as described by the complainant.
I call internet BS.
Wow what a bunch of people banging on Turkey. Just as a small reminder the number of rapes per million inhabitants in the USA. is 2.7 that of Turkey.
Unfortunately, this is literally a day in the life of being a female. Given the situation didn't escalate into anything, he's really lucky. A lot of women respond exactly that way hoping it doesn't amount to anything. There's not much you can do anyway until it escalates since it's rare people will even believe you, hence some of the comments in here. Which is sad since, like him, victims can usually sense a creepy energy or that something is off about a person. But the "something is off" is never taken seriously. Good luck reporting it. From my personal experience, that only helped like 20% of the time. However, I have been very blessed to have also experienced things like this in front of chivalrous, brave men, who have called out the guy publicly and so I have been fortunate to have been protected about 50% of the time by men. But the remaining 50% were things like this and unfortunately, you're on your own. This type of case, where it's cultural too, would depend largely on how he's perceived in social status too. So too many factors/trouble that, as a female that has to deal with it regularly, would rather not even want to deal with, because the emotional toll on people not taking you seriously, escalating it, potentially bringing lawyers involved, etc. etc... after a couple failed attempts at that, it's too taxing to deal with. However, it's always easier to help someone as the third party so I always call men out when they do that to other women. I usually do it in a socially acceptable way like make a joke out of it, "Wow you are standing so close to him! He can hear you just the same one more foot apart!" or "Is it normal for Turkish people to stand this close? Americans are so different... how interesting the cultural differences are!" If anything, this post has taught me now to call them out if I see it being done to a man.
Ridge hand to the throat. Bang his head against the wall. Scream as loud as you can then declare you have been assaulted.