The New York Post has what I’d describe as a rather scandalized story about a Brazilian model being dumped by her boyfriend after she refused to fly economy with him, and instead, booked a separate ticket in business class.
I think this topic raises a more widely interesting question — if you’re in a new relationship, what’s the correct protocol when planning travel, and one person typically flies business class, while the other person typically flies economy class?
In this post:
Airplane “class” divide causes relationship problems
A Brazilian model (who has 2.5 million Instagram followers) claims she was dumped by her boyfriend after they discovered some seemingly irreconcilable differences while planning a trip to Paris. The pair had reportedly been dating for around three months, and decided to plan their first trip together, from Sao Paulo to Paris.
When it came time to book flights, they were each going to pay for their own tickets. The boyfriend felt that “business class was too expensive,” while the model prioritized “comfort while traveling,” and claims “I allow myself that luxury when I can — I’ve always traveled that way.”
So the model ended up booking herself a business class ticket, while her boyfriend booked himself an economy ticket, with the model claiming that “each of us chose what fit our budget and beliefs,” and “I didn’t want to pay for his ticket because I believe everyone should choose how they want to travel.”
After the tickets were booked, her boyfriend “began acting distant,” and “he started to change and made passive aggressive comments, saying it wasn’t fair that I was in another class and claimed it showed a lack of unity.” The model has a different take, claiming that “deep down, he didn’t want to share anything,” “he wanted me to shrink myself to fit his reality,” and “he tried to make me feel guilty for choosing something better for myself, it felt like he couldn’t handle the fact that I wasn’t depending on him.”
In the days leading up to the trip, the boyfriend decided to break things off, citing the flight dispute as the breaking point. As the model explains, “he broke up with me over the phone, saying the whole flight situation showed we were on different levels and that it wouldn’t work.”
The model claims this wasn’t a function of dating outside her “class,” explaining that “what’s ironic is that he actually has more money than I do, but still got upset with my choice,” and that “he didn’t refuse business class because he couldn’t afford it — he just thought it was an unnecessary expense.”
What’s the correct etiquette here?
In the past, I’ve written broadly about the topic of flying first class, and leaving your spouse in economy. That question often comes up in the context of one spouse having a business trip where maybe their company pays for a premium cabin, while their spouse comes along in economy.
The dynamics here are a bit different. This was early on in the relationship, and the pair were booking their tickets separately. There’s no denying that people take very different approaches to how they book travel. It’s not uncommon to see some wealthy people who just think premium cabin travel isn’t worth it, so they just rough it in economy. Meanwhile there may be less wealthy people who want to live their best lives, and value paying for those experiences, and aren’t as concerned about savings.
Looking at this situation, I suppose there are several ways this could’ve played out differently:
- The girlfriend could’ve instead agreed to fly economy class
- The boyfriend could’ve splurged on business class
- The girlfriend could’ve paid for the boyfriend to fly business class
- The couple could’ve agreed on some middle ground, like premium economy
I do think the “traditional” gender roles being reversed here is an interesting angle. If people were newly dating and the man had booked business class and let the woman fly in economy, I think this would be (almost) universally criticized.
Fundamentally, I think the couple should’ve reached some sort of compromise so that they could travel in the same class. It just doesn’t set a great precedent for creating a partnership if you’re on such different pages, and unwilling to compromise, even if it’s early on.
It’s noteworthy how the model claims “I believe everyone should choose how they want to travel.” Did the pair also choose to stay at different hotels? Dine at different restaurants? Take different forms of transportation? I don’t think either party is right or wrong here, other than to say that I think they probably weren’t a good match. Looking at this woman’s Instagram, it’s clear she likes flashy things and luxury, and if he’s less about that (and not willing to make adjustments), it’s probably not a great fit.
I haven’t been in a new relationship in a decade, so I don’t have much recent firsthand experience here. I will say, miles & points certainly come in handy. I remember the first big trip that Ford and I took was in Emirates first class (thanks to Alaska Mileage Plan!), and our second was in Cathay Pacific first class.
Funny side note — I remember when we started dating, I was thinking to myself “man, we’ve gotta move this along a little faster,” because our relationship starting coincided with the awful long haul first class American AAdvantage devaluation a decade ago, where the cost of Cathay Pacific first class increased in cost from 62,500 miles to 110,000 miles.
Bottom line
A model claims she was dumped after her boyfriend of three months was angry when she booked business class, while he booked economy, for their first trip as a couple. The couple had different priorities — she felt like they should each book travel the way they wanted to, while he thought that she should’ve considered their relationship.
I’m not sure there’s any single right solution here, other than communicating and finding a compromise that both parties are happy with. I do think that flying in separate cabins on your first trip as a couple doesn’t set a good precedent.
What do you think the right solution is in this situation?
Some children do not know the golden rule for a successful relationship ….
Prior Preparation and Planning Prevents P*ss Poor Performance.
Don't date poor people if you're rich, problem solved.
She loves luxury, so how come she got a cheap boyfriend ?
There is no right or wrong answer here. If the boyfriend didn’t like the “arrangement,” then he is free to dump her and move on. Whether anyone else would have done it differently is completely irrelevant.
This is a boring dispute between 2 people. Has no relevance or impact on the wider public.
This tabloid trash story should never have been published - especially by a blog that has any self respect.
Funny. Obviously they were not "meant to be together" so problem solved long before it became an involved, complex, family-including relationship. Good for both of them.
Did she go on to enjoy her Paris vacation? Did he still fly coach and not talk to her or share the trip? That doesn't change the nature of the question; I'm just curious.
Should she have moved to coach - no. She had booked in business and that's...
Funny. Obviously they were not "meant to be together" so problem solved long before it became an involved, complex, family-including relationship. Good for both of them.
Did she go on to enjoy her Paris vacation? Did he still fly coach and not talk to her or share the trip? That doesn't change the nature of the question; I'm just curious.
Should she have moved to coach - no. She had booked in business and that's where she flies. Should he have upgraded to business - no. He had booked in coach and that's what he likes to pay for. Should she have paid for his upgrade? IMHO no. He is an adult and he made his choice. That shouldn't impose a burden on anyone else. Should they both have capitulated (some would call this a "compromise" but it's a lose/lose not a win/win. No. See the first two points. Each booked the class of service with which they are comfortable.
At the end of the day, their travel plans were incompatible. While she was OK with it (I would be too, as was Jerry on a Seinfeld episode) the boyfriend was resentful and then passive-aggressive. How many IG followers she has or how hot she is isn't relevant. The boyfriend's claim to fame or how hot he is isn't mentioned, so a bit of a dichotomy there favoring the [para]"hot Brazillian model with 2.5M IG followers."
Bottom Line
Non-story of trash being trash and then trying to get more attention (more followers) for it. Good luck to both of them, and get over yourselves.
The picture was posted to be “click bait” - who cares about the story.
Ben - skip these in the future. Stay focused on what you do best.
Steve, don't read then. Rude. I myself don't click/read every one of Ben's articles; I pick and choose without complaining. This is Ben's blog and he can do as he pleases; when you have your own blog you can do the same.
Do you also say to someone who hates spam "Don't read it" or "Just delete it"?
If someone is bleeding from being stabbed in the back do you say "Just don't bleed" and "Pull the knife out"?
Your sympathy for people having rights not to have unwanted things in front of their face is egotistical and obnoxious.
Do you not like my comment or analysis? Don't read it then, Richard.
I recently posted a link in the comments on an OMATT article that showed website traffic numbers for the major travel blogs (OMAAT, VFTW, FM etc.) that mysteriously got deleted. For the record OMATT website traffic numbers are way down over the past year so I guess that had something to do with the removal of my post. Keep up the great work Ben:)
If we're gonna be together nonstop for 14 days, we can survive 12 hours in different cabins. Whenever I travel with someone, whether it's a friend, boyfriend or anything else, and we disagree on travel arrangements, we simply book separately (hotels with a boyfriend excluded, that's where compromises need to be made).
Why people make such a big fuss if they cannot travel in the same plane class, or even if they aren't seated together (families with children up to tween age group excused)?! We are talking about no more than half a day travelling separated, maybe even asleep most of the time...
This story sounds like having been twisted a little for the clicks purpose, but there must have been some additional disagreements on top...
Why people make such a big fuss if they cannot travel in the same plane class, or even if they aren't seated together (families with children up to tween age group excused)?! We are talking about no more than half a day travelling separated, maybe even asleep most of the time...
This story sounds like having been twisted a little for the clicks purpose, but there must have been some additional disagreements on top of the flight arrangement...
In any case, it was the guy's personal preference flying Y as the way to travel, even if he could afford J. He should have not been offended she'd prefer flying J on her own expense.
As a very long time reader, it pains me to say that the proportion of trash stories is getting too high to my liking.
If I wanted garbage, I’d watch real housewives of something
Or read VFTW.
Snap!
Having an Only Fans page does not make one a “model.”
How much do you want to bet that she was splurging on business class while expecting her boyfriend to cover the hotels, meals, and drinks throughout the trip?
Id rather spend the money on a nicer hotel than the flight. The difference in cost between a biz and economy flight GRU-CDG would pay for several nights in a very high quality hotel (even luxury) that would truly make for a romantic, memorable trip (e.g. eiffel tower view), spa days, and fine dining opportunities. A night of lackluster sleep on a biz flatbed with surly flight attendants and mediocre food seems hardly worth it....
Id rather spend the money on a nicer hotel than the flight. The difference in cost between a biz and economy flight GRU-CDG would pay for several nights in a very high quality hotel (even luxury) that would truly make for a romantic, memorable trip (e.g. eiffel tower view), spa days, and fine dining opportunities. A night of lackluster sleep on a biz flatbed with surly flight attendants and mediocre food seems hardly worth it. It is not about whether or not to spend money but the opportunity cost. Only a handful of airlines have business class products that are truly special and memorable enough to be worth it and that too the novelty wears off quick.
Book that GRU-CDG with AF and you don't need to deal with surly flight attendants :) I happen to be flying that route in a few weeks and we booked J. Neither one of us expects luxury but having some basic comfort not being squeezed with strangers for 13 hours makes a big difference to me and has a much larger value than spa days or fine dining. I'd rather have mid-market stuff always than suffer one day to enjoy luxury on another. YMMV :)
Dear Ben, please don't go down this route. I swear a post about Winston cuddling with Jet or Miles would interest me more than this kind of trash. You are better than Gary or Matthew and that's why we love you schatz.
Her comments make her seem like one of those people who are into Dubai.
It’s also possible possible she made up the whole story to get even more followers?
Based on some of the comments here, I can only assume that incels are also on this site.
I wouldn't say anything went wrong.
It's better for relationships to end early if there are incompatibilities.
Boyfriend seems very needy and insecure. Good on the model for prioritising her needs. If she was insisting on him paying for J I might have had some sympathy for the BF but not when she paid for her own ticket.
Also, Sao Paulo to Paris in coach? If I couldn’t afford J, I’d just not go (or maybe try to sell a kidney on the internet)
Another half a mill followers. Well played (or not)
Who was going to pay for the hotel room in Paris? They appear to have agreed to pay for their own flights. He should not begrudge her for spending her own money on a business class ticket. Sounds like an insecure loser that could not deal with the idea that his new girlfriend flexed the way she did. It takes a secure man to date a successful attractive woman. He's better off to go into...
Who was going to pay for the hotel room in Paris? They appear to have agreed to pay for their own flights. He should not begrudge her for spending her own money on a business class ticket. Sounds like an insecure loser that could not deal with the idea that his new girlfriend flexed the way she did. It takes a secure man to date a successful attractive woman. He's better off to go into the favelas in Sao Paolo and find himself a low rent girlfriend whom he can impress with a middle seat in row 57 on a long haul flight.
He was in the wrong for choosing such a superficial person to be his girlfriend. This was better for both of them. He can go find a wife and she can go and whine on Reddit about where are all the good men? for the next 20 years
I 100% agree with her.
Economy Class builds character.
And sore backs.
Its quite likely they could have found a cheaper way to get to Europe in business than LX (thats my guess based on the selfie).
LX C is ok for sure and with status you can get a “throne seat” and some hours of sleep on GRU-ZRH. Just don’t expect too much “luxury” on an average flight.
It seems I’m even more spoiled than this “Brazilian model”
“Its quite likely they could have found a cheaper way to get to Europe in business than LX (thats my guess based on the selfie).”
They never went on the trip, so it’s anyone’s guess who they’d have flown.
It's likely this is a false story. If true, if he can pay a premium cabin and decides not to do it, she should be allowed to do so.
Who is to blame?
the bloggers that take these publicity stunts seriously and amplify them.
this place is becoming just as cringey as VFTY
Preach. Leave the tabloid trash to Gary.
Agreed. @Lucky/Ben, we love your informative content, not this tabloid crap. If it has duck-lips, an Only Fans account, or is a vapid 'influencer'; pass - don't post.
As mentioned, there are others out there who have let their boogs descend into that junk content. If we feel we need to get that fix, we know where to go. For class and value, we prefer to stick around here.
She's a model? Could have fooled me. Dude needs to get some more self worth.
The was she describes it, she should have dumped his for his reactions to her choice.
I wonder who is going to play her in the movie.
I think you got the summary right on, Ben - lots of ways to solve this but ultimately they had irreconcilable differences in the way they wanted to live their life.
At least she clarified that the guy had more money than her but did not want to spend it.
The just weren’t meant to be together. Better to discover that early.
Very simple situation, especially since she volunteered that he has more money. He did the mental math of what her "luxury lifestyle" would entail (not just premium cabin travel but fancy clothes, etc) and he decided to peace out. Maybe he even got the sense that she was a gold digger and spent money she didn't have to put herself in the social circles of men with money like him.
The man is lucky that he got a Woman who likes to pay for her "luxury things " travel seat. Others will say ask the Man to pay for everything including the "luxury seats". She is a keeper regardless of career or salary.
Travel related article sure but this is just clickbait tabloid nonsense that should not see the light of day beyond the backpages of New York Post
…. or the Guardian, Eve? …. :-)
Dump the man-baby early before you get too attached to him. Instead of working through a problem like adults, he acted like a petulant child. Good for her.
Well tbh both comes out as selfish and naive in this story…