Hello, live from a mostly excellent (as usual) transatlantic Air France business class flight… and I have a question!
In this post:
Kids scream at top of their lungs, parents do nothing
A lot of people get unreasonably frustrated with children (especially infants and toddlers) on flights. Kids can sometimes be hard to control and can most definitely be annoying to people around them, but they’re part of society. Airplanes are a form of transportation, so as unpleasant as it might be, you should expect that kids will sometimes scream on flights.
While we haven’t done much travel yet with our younger son, we’ve had a couple of flights with our older son, Miles, where I just wanted to crawl into a hole out of embarrassment. The thing is, as parents we do our best, especially on planes. Sometimes that’s not perfect, but we try.
I remember traveling with Miles across the Atlantic when he was two years old, and just thinking to myself “ugh, I don’t need to repeat that any time soon.”
But that brings me to the daytime transatlantic flight we’re on right now. There’s a family of six seated near us in business class, with four kids and two parents. The kids maybe range in age from four to 12(ish). Let me mention that the dad is completely checked out — he’s sitting in a window seat, and I don’t think he has communicated with the kids once.
One child in particular has just been screaming on and off the entire flight (the others aren’t angels, but by comparison…). And I mean S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G. Not crying out of discomfort, or anything, but yelling at the top of her lungs due to lack of manners (or something) and lack of parental intervention. Whatever the loudest volume you can imagine, that’s the volume at which she’s yelling. And that says nothing of the constant climbing on seats.
The parents are disinterested. Maybe every 10 minutes the mom would just go “shhh” once, but that’s it. Otherwise she has just been left alone to yell at everyone, including her siblings, and neither parent could care less.
At what point do you complain about kids on planes?
As I always say, you should never confront other passengers directly onboard aircraft, since that can quickly escalate. So if you have an issue, you should direct it at the crew, since they’re the ones in a position of power to deal with such a situation, without it escalating unnecessarily.
Also, quite honestly, we’re a gay couple traveling with a kid, and let’s just say that the family doesn’t give friendly vibes, and they appear to be from a “sanctioned” country that isn’t known for being particularly gay friendly. Maybe they’re not homophobic, but I’m being more cautious than I’d be at a Taylor Swift concert (not that I’d be at a Taylor Swift concert).
Anyway, we put up with this for hours. Finally at about the halfway point of the flight, our son was sound asleep (we’ve convinced him it’s an overnight flight, and that the rule on the plane is that everyone has to sleep), and then this girl goes on one of her shouting tirades for no damn reason, and the parents do nothing.
So Ford finally politely went to the galley and complained to the crew. I recognize this puts the crew in an uncomfortable position, and I feel badly for them, but I also think it’s the lesser of the evils. To the crew’s credit, they handled it incredibly well.
They approached the parents, and the mother’s response was simply “we will give her something now.” Ummm, I don’t even know what that means, but you could also just spend some time with your child and try to entertain her.
While things got a little better, initially it wasn’t a huge improvement. Fortunately the crew literally stood in the cabin for some amount of time hovering over the child’s seat, and directly telling her (politely) that she needed to be quiet. I think she took it a bit more seriously when it came from strangers (not that her mother ever told her anything, other than “shhh”), but they really kept at it. They also kept telling the parents that they needed to do something. That’s how it’s done.
So to me that raises the question — at what point is it appropriate to complain about the behavior of other passengers? After five minutes? After five hours? Never? Obviously it’s a delicate balance with kids. You can’t help if an infant screams once in a while, but when the parents literally just don’t even try, it’s hard to not get frustrated.
Bottom line
It has been some time since I’ve seen as poorly of a behaved child as I have on my current flight, where the parents just seemingly don’t care. I hate to put the crew into an uncomfortable situation, but in this case, it really crossed a line, in my opinion.
Fortunately the crew was great, first addressing the parents, and then when that didn’t fully work, addressing the kids. The situation definitely got better.
So I’ll pose the question I asked above — at what point would you complain about poorly behaved children on flights, where parents don’t put in any effort? Have you ever found yourself in such a situation?
If you are paying for a premium seat on a long haul flight I would complain when it started and keep on complaining. I have no patience with anyone disrupting my flight if Im trying to work or sleep.
A little girl was behind me one time kicking my seat and screaming and I stood over and told her that if she didnt stop I was going to tell Jesus to make her mommy and daddy dead. It worked.
"A little girl was behind me one time kicking my seat and screaming and I stood over and told her that if she didnt stop I was going to tell Jesus to make her mommy and daddy dead. It worked."
One can only admire your resourcefulness. We'll never know if was true (the Jesus part, I mean), but I hope is was.
Or a simple 'fatwa' should do the trick ! ... lol
I think you can always complain but it's probably an exercise in futility when it comes to screaming or crying. Usually the parents are doing all they can and it sucks the most for them.
What really annoys me is when kids are running around the plane, climbing on seats and throwing things. I was just on a flight where a kid was literally standing on a headrest and hitting the overhead with the Dad...
I think you can always complain but it's probably an exercise in futility when it comes to screaming or crying. Usually the parents are doing all they can and it sucks the most for them.
What really annoys me is when kids are running around the plane, climbing on seats and throwing things. I was just on a flight where a kid was literally standing on a headrest and hitting the overhead with the Dad just sitting there letting the kid climb on his head. It looked dangerous. I had a stuffy thrown at me on another flight and that kid also ran into the cockpit at one point. I've also seen kids running in and out of first class because a parent was up there while they were in coach.
Crying is one thing, but running around and creating havoc really is not ok.
I say let the brats run wild and hope they run into something that will surely teach them a lesson as their boorish parents are too irresponsible & inconsiderate to do what common decency requires....
Ah, at what point is it appropriate to complain about the behavior of Russians? When they stop violating international law and invading other countries. Trump keeps giving Putin a free pass. No wonder these parents are so nonchalant about it.
Venezuela was asking the same question too.
whatever does this remotely have to do with the price of eggs at Publix ? asking for a friend.....
Most of us who fly have a story about a totally disinterested Middle Eastern man, his wife and their large brood of screaming kids climbing over the seats.
Honestly besides visiting family, I am not sure why people would want to travel overseas with young kids. They won't remember almost all of it, it seems like more work then reward and you would want to take them back when they are older so they could appreciate it.
No judgement and it is certainly your right, but meh would rather drive or fly somewhere within 2 hours with young kids.
Selfish parents wanted to travel but also very attached to their kids and refuse to separate and leave them with someone else.
Maybe kids are also good and cute Instagram props.
It's not for their kids. It's for themselves.
The want to have the cake and eat it.
100% this. And it's not "unreasonable" to be annoyed by terrible kids and they're terrible parents. They aren't mutually exclusive. And only parents with poorly behaved kids ever tout the whole "Give them some grace, they're just children" nonsense. If your kids can't handle travel yet - or won't appreciate it anyway, then just don't travel. It's part of the (quickly eroding) social contract of civility. We didn't fly for 3+ years because we didn't...
100% this. And it's not "unreasonable" to be annoyed by terrible kids and they're terrible parents. They aren't mutually exclusive. And only parents with poorly behaved kids ever tout the whole "Give them some grace, they're just children" nonsense. If your kids can't handle travel yet - or won't appreciate it anyway, then just don't travel. It's part of the (quickly eroding) social contract of civility. We didn't fly for 3+ years because we didn't want to be the asshole parents. Unless it's LITERALLY an emergency, then don't bring you poorly behaved or unaccustomed-to-ear-popping/pressure children on an enclosed aluminum tube hurtling through the sky. Just don't.
Bless You !
So you're telling me that my usual approach is to tell the parents that they are bad parents and that their children and they should ride in the hold with the other animals isn't the right approach? Who knew? It certainly feels good....
Kids get away with things, especially from women. I just wish that I was sometimes given some of the kindness and sympathy children are shown.
Aw, you're an incel, Hank Tarn, and you have no shame about it. Stay proud.
Omg funny you post about this. I had the same issue last night. Kid was probably 2-3 years old. Flying business on A321. I was seating next to the dad. The mom on the asile and the kid on the window with the mom. He was screaming and just going wild. Meanwhile both mom and dad could care less and were just invested on their phones. At one point I just had to tell them....
Omg funny you post about this. I had the same issue last night. Kid was probably 2-3 years old. Flying business on A321. I was seating next to the dad. The mom on the asile and the kid on the window with the mom. He was screaming and just going wild. Meanwhile both mom and dad could care less and were just invested on their phones. At one point I just had to tell them. You guys should be doing something about it instead of being on your phones. Not sure he he understood or what or could not give a shit. Cause they still didn’t do anything. It was frustrating.
Our only Air France biz class LAX-CDG) was ruined by a kid screaming (maybe 3 or 4?) so much that I thought he was dying. The mother was trying to quiet him, but nothing helped.
It's funny that no other pax complained about this screaming girl
I flew a Delta flight and the woman next to me had an infant who screamed the entire 3 hour flight. She was doing all in her power to comfort the infant to no avail. A man started to video her. That annoyed me. Just wrong. I offered to hold baby but mom was beside herself. I felt badly for the mom
I also was on an Emirates first class flight where a Russian...
I flew a Delta flight and the woman next to me had an infant who screamed the entire 3 hour flight. She was doing all in her power to comfort the infant to no avail. A man started to video her. That annoyed me. Just wrong. I offered to hold baby but mom was beside herself. I felt badly for the mom
I also was on an Emirates first class flight where a Russian woman with sunglasses and bleached blond hair literally screamed into a phone call and with her bf sitting in her pod. Crew did nothing
Baby is what AirPod on silent is for. I just got off an Air France business and … same thing. Put my AirPods on and slept
Kids really can’t be controlled at times. Adults can be. Emirates dropped the ball
"...literally screamed into a phone call and with her bf sitting in her pod."
Where in the Emirates first class pod was her boyfriend sitting? Just curious.
As a parent of a three year old, I feel the pain. However, I would say in my view the line is when the parents are not bothered or trying to do their best to control the situation.
We were on a recent flight where our three year old got a melt down due to over stimulation and that also in business. The meltdown lasted half an hour but during that whole half an hour...
As a parent of a three year old, I feel the pain. However, I would say in my view the line is when the parents are not bothered or trying to do their best to control the situation.
We were on a recent flight where our three year old got a melt down due to over stimulation and that also in business. The meltdown lasted half an hour but during that whole half an hour both my wife and I, including some co passengers and crew tried their best to calm her down. However, the combination of a long flight combined with a 5 hr delay had just let to the situation becoming this volatile,
Apart from one passenger, we didnt get any angry stares. However, even though as a parent you get the context of that meltdown we felt bad that we were an inconvenience to that one passenger.
That being said, we have taken alot of trips with our toddler and none of them have been perfect. Yet, I am surprised at how accommodating and children loving majority of the co passengers are. May be we have been lucky.
It's always appropriate to complain. Then it's up to the FA to do what they can. Screaming in public for long periods of time is not acceptable behavior for a child. And shame on parents who think it is. I don't know what's happening to society when people think they can do anything they want without regard to the people around them.
Always appropriate when it is clear it is because of parent behavior (eg not bringing headphones for their children, feeding them sugar).
Very common amongst “Israeli” parents who always act entitled like the entire cabin was promised to them 3000 years ago.
No need to drag anti-semitism into this conversation. Crawl back under your rock you troglodyte.
Exactly, thankfully irresponsible, selfish & neglectful parents come in all stripes !
..lol
Like most things in life - it's fine when the situation is reasonable and in moderation. He's a little kid, he's gonna flip out here and there, what are you gonna do. As long as the parent is quick to react and make every effort to calm him down with clear concern for those around them - I have zero problems with hearing a kid cry. But when it's one of those where the kid...
Like most things in life - it's fine when the situation is reasonable and in moderation. He's a little kid, he's gonna flip out here and there, what are you gonna do. As long as the parent is quick to react and make every effort to calm him down with clear concern for those around them - I have zero problems with hearing a kid cry. But when it's one of those where the kid is just going at it and the parent does nothing and gives zero fs about others - I'd ban the parent from flying for life, if I were a dictator. Fine him $200K for every full minute of the kid's cry too.
As a cabin crew member, I go out of my way to help parents who are trying to get a child to quiet down. Once coming back from Hawaii we had parents with a sick toddler who was just feeling awful. We gave mom and kiddo a row in the very back to stretch out, and we gave away a lot of free alcohol. During the final cart, the Dad had his credit card in...
As a cabin crew member, I go out of my way to help parents who are trying to get a child to quiet down. Once coming back from Hawaii we had parents with a sick toddler who was just feeling awful. We gave mom and kiddo a row in the very back to stretch out, and we gave away a lot of free alcohol. During the final cart, the Dad had his credit card in hand and said “I need two bourbons, as it is the only way I’m going to make it through the rest of this.” My answer to him was “Sir, no one after the exit row has paid for a drink and you certainly are not. We all see you all are doing what you can, and sometimes a sick toddler is just a sick toddler.”
On the other hand, a parent who is doing nothing, or who gets upset when the crew reminds them that the child’s screen requires headphones, gets very little help and a lot of requests to do something. Meanwhile the passengers nearby get a lot of positive attention.
As crew we know when parents are parenting, and when they are not. We also figure out if we have a special needs kid who may be stimming or especially challenging for guardians, and we go out of our way to help. Sometimes there is really nothing that can be done, and most people understand that.
The moment one makes a sound in business class they should be kicked off the plane.
Never appropriate to complain.
If you can hear the screaming, FAs can, too.
If the FAs were able to do something, they would do so, without your complaint.
To borrow business jargon, your complaint doesn't drive incremental action.
Totally disagree with this. Many FA's will be passive until they get a complaint.
Well, if you read the article, you would see that the rubbish you have written is completely incorrect....
As a parent who has flown business with my own babies/toddlers/children, sometimes I wish I could care that little because it is WORK to keep kids comfortable and entertained on a long flight! I think our hardest flight was an AF business flight with our 18 month old
I would give it 30 minutes tops, then approach the crew
Bonjour! Always fun to catch a live post, remembering the La Premiere debut last year. Yes, this sounds awful, and the indignation you're experiencing reminds me of taking the Reading Bus to London where some brats kept pushing the stop bell every few seconds, despite the fact that nobody needed to depart. It made the crew angry and the passengers too.
It is appropriate every time. I do not want to hear em.
Did she quiet down after the crew intervention?
If so, then on the parents.
If not, then is there a disorder or health issue in play? Odd to have a 4+ year old screaming.
@ Greg -- Yep, eventually she did indeed...