My Philosophy On Picking A Place To Live, And My Thoughts On Living In Miami

In this post, I’d like to talk a bit about how my experience traveling, and even living in hotels, has informed my decision of where to live. I call Miami home, and people often contact me when they’re thinking of moving here to ask my take.

So let me share my philosophy more broadly, and then I’ll share my specific thoughts on Miami. This is partly prompted by Chris, who yesterday left a comment saying “I would love a post on your opinion on the best and worst things about living in Miami itself!”

What travel has taught me about where to live

In my early 20s, I lived in hotels full-time for several years. There were a few motivations for that, not the least of which was that I was indecisive about where I wanted to live, so I decided to just not live anywhere in particular.

Many people assume that the more you travel, the more you have absolute favorite places, and the more you’re decisive about where you want to live (this always brings me back to “the curse of the traveler”). For me it has been exactly the opposite:

• There are places I adore, but I’m not sure I’d necessarily want to live in them long-term; there’s a huge difference between being a visitor somewhere, and actually living there
• The more places I’ve been, the more I’ve realized some of the cons to the places I love, and some of the pros to the places that I didn’t think I loved
• The specific place I live doesn’t impact my happiness much — rather it’s certain environmental factors that I’ve found to be much more important
• Given how little free time the average person has after factoring in work, family obligations, hanging out with friends, fitness, and other activities, I think people tend to place too much value on what cities have to offer, rather than other factors (which isn’t to say that those things aren’t important, but I just think they aren’t the most important)

Now, there are a few things worth acknowledging about my particular situation:

• I’m very fortunate that I can work from anywhere in the world; I recognize that for a lot of other people, job opportunities are what drive where people live, but that’s not the case for me
• I’m an introvert, so I’m not looking for big social scenes, and in that sense, I care more about having a small number of quality friends than being “connected”
• Admittedly this isn’t just about me anymore — I’m married, and we have two kids, so of course that makes any sort of move a much bigger decision
• I stay pretty busy in my own “bubble” when I’m home — I spend most of the day working, I spend most of the time I’m not working with family, and I try to make time to work out every day, since it helps me clear my mind

What I look for in a place to live, and why I like Miami

Miami is a pretty polarizing city. Some people think it’s an amazing place to live and vacation, and come here all the time. Some think it’s the least appealing and most overrated city in the United States.

Now, I probably have the least “Miami lifestyle” of anyone living in Miami. I go to bed early, get up early, and rarely go over to Miami Beach. So, what do I like about living in Miami? Let me share some of the things, ranked roughly in the order that I prioritize them:

• Warm weather and sun — personally I’m someone who loves to be in warm weather and to have sunlight, as it impacts my mood in such a positive way; if you have the same preferences that I do, there aren’t many places with weather as good as Florida
• Views & landscape — I love a place with beautiful views and geographic diversity, and I find it to be so inspiring as a backdrop; that could mean living in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, or having a view of the water, even if it’s in the distance (I wish Florida weren’t so flat, but I’ll take the ocean)
• Being close to family — while not in Miami, most of our family does live in Florida, so it’s great to be able to see them without traveling too far, and that has proven particularly valuable in recent years, as my mom battled cancer
• Proximity to an international airport — I love the fact that many places in Miami are just 10-20 minutes from the international airport, which is oh-so-convenient, especially when you’re a frequent flyer (even if Miami Airport leaves a lot to be desired)
• An easy life & access to services — one day I’d absolutely love to live in the middle of nowhere, but at this point in my life I appreciate the ease of living in a major city where you’re minutes from anything you could need, and where you have access to services like Uber Eats, Instacart, or whatever else; you can have just about anything delivered to your door in 30 minutes, and that saves me so much time and hassle
• A city that feels international — I absolutely adore how international Miami feels, as some days I legit feel like I’m in an expat in a different country; while I definitely feel like an outsider, I don’t mind it one bit (Ford, meanwhile, might now speak better Spanish than English… I’m not as linguistically talented)
• Cost of living — if you have the flexibility to live anywhere, cost of living is an important factor; unfortunately Miami has become much more expensive in recent years, but at least historically, there were benefits to the lack of a state income tax (though that doesn’t exist in a vacuum — other taxes are sometimes higher)
• Somewhere that’s accepting — I’m gay, married, and have kids, and while Miami certainly isn’t as liberal as many other major cities, I still feel relatively accepted, and don’t face any day-to-day issues in that regard; then again, I think in most places in the United States, that’s not a huge issue nowadays

That being said, Miami definitely isn’t my “forever home”

I think people often feel the need to promote and defend their home city as if they own it, or something. When people ask about me about moving to Miami, I’m not typically overly enthusiastic. Miami also has a lot of downsides, and it has gotten much worse over the years that I’ve lived here, in my opinion. What don’t I love about Miami? I’d say it comes down to two main areas.

First, Miami has become really, really expensive. It’s not that Miami was ever cheap, but as people have flocked down here post-pandemic, the costs of everything have skyrocketed. Restaurants now have New York prices, and as someone who has the ability to live anywhere, it’s kind of hard to justify living here.

Second, and I’m trying to think of the polite way to put this… Miami doesn’t necessarily have the highest quality people. Look, I don’t want to paint with too broad of a brush, and in a city as big as this, of course it’s easy to carve out your own community and find good people.

However, there’s no denying that the city attracts a certain type of crowd. Miami is often referred to as “a sunny place for shady people,” and I think that’s partly true. So many “crypto bros” move here for a year looking to make a quick buck and save on taxes. And then you of course mix that with transient New Yorkers, who are here for six months and one day. Miami is kind of like the Dubai of the United States. To be clear, I’m not saying any of those are “bad” people, but just that they’re here for a specific reason.

The level of “flash” in Miami is also next level. The number of people who spend more on leasing their car than they do on rent is kind of wild, but it’s oh-so-Miami. A studio apartment and a Lamborghini? That’s totally normal here! So that also creates a really distorted sense of reality, which I certainly have some concerns about, as our kids grow older.

So many people in Miami don’t care about quality, they just care about scene. For example, many of my favorite restaurants, which actually put pride in what they serve and have amazing food, struggle to stay in business. People would rather flock to a “clubstaurant” with sparklers, and where they can rub shoulders with other flashy people.

Like I said, everyone can carve out their own community, and of course there are also lots of great people here. But I definitely approach people here with a higher level of skepticism than I might in other cities.

Of course having kids complicates things greatly, and they are our priority in terms of picking a place to live and staying somewhere long term, so they feel they have a stable situation.

However, I still fantasize about one day living in the middle of nowhere. It just can’t be too cold, and has to have beautiful views. Gosh, how I’d love to live rural France, though I also realize I’m totally romanticizing that. There are obviously a lot of upsides to a life like that, but also many challenges.

Bottom line

Travel has no doubt changed what I’ve looked for in a place to live. I used to think there was one perfect place to live, and that I just needed to find it. Then I accepted that there are pros and cons to just about every place, and that if there were a perfect place to live, it would no longer be perfect because everyone would be there.

Personally I’m relatively happy living in Miami, even though I may not be your “typical” Miami person. I’m not a partier, and I don’t love the beach. For me Miami is a solid home base — the weather is nice, I love looking at the water, I love how international the city feels, I love how close it is to the airport, etc.

However, there are downsides that have certainly made us reconsider living here, and they’ve gotten worse over time. It’s just getting so damn expensive, and the people are very much a mixed bag (to put it politely). We’d move somewhere else if we had a good idea, but I haven’t actually found a place that’s a better fit for us.

I’m curious to hear how you guys feel — how important is choosing the right place to live, what do you look for, and what’s your favorite city?