1. This quote is frighteningly believable —

    “Research shows that we lose millions of dollars each month by having them all sit upright in individual seats for the duration of the flight,” said CEO Glenn F. Tilton

  2. “On longer flights we really want to make sure there’s no room for them to move around at all”

    lol sounds real to me.

  3. Interesting that the article only refers to pax as “they” and “them” never “passengers”. I’ve always loved the Onion, but curious as to why the writer(s) made this choice.

  4. @David … probably because it dehumanizes passengers to refer to us in that way. The article is trying to equate passengers as just cargo.

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